


You Don't Belong Here

by MJ5185



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Death Threats, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I honest to god don't know how to do fluff OR angst, M/M, Mentions of dubious consent, Mild torture, Violence, mentions of non-con elements, mild talks of suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:48:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 129,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27521785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MJ5185/pseuds/MJ5185
Summary: Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.-Twilight Hours (1868) by Sarah Williams: The Old Astronomer-Aoba Johsai and Seijoh are two vastly different kingdoms with vastly different cultures and customs. One side leads a pampered, ignorant life. The other side is filled with thick smoke and desperate pleas. Can they come together?
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru
Comments: 92
Kudos: 100





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, this was 100% inspired by this fanart of one, @santa.ana.winds on TikTok (insta: santa.ana.windz). I saw this first on TikTok and everything about it just spoke to me. But she is so amazing and talented, her art is to die for and I would seriously contemplate murder for a drawing of IwaOi from her (wink wink). She's fucking great and this whole mess is due to this one fanart of her crossover with IwaOi and Princess Mononoke. Seriously, please take a look at her stuff, it's sooo much better than whatever this story turns out to be lol.
> 
> This is my first real attempt at writing anything even remotely approaching feelings and I feel woefully unprepared so, let me know if I've succeeded (or failed miserably, either works lol) I just love IwaOi so much and need to vent my feelings with this, since my sister is under the impression KuroKen (whatever their name is) is a better ship and my best friend leads a normal (boring) life without an unhealthy HQ obsession. But, hey, who does this hurt but ourselves, am I right? Normal people are boring anyways. 
> 
> Special disclaimer, I have not seen Princess Mononoke, so this won't be anything like it. Just thought you should know. Oh God I always ramble on with these things, I'm so sorry, please enjoy this and check out the hyperlinks in the chapter below since I'm too dumb to figure out how to do it up here!

[This gorgeous fucking picture](https://www.instagram.com/p/CEX212Kphzs/)

[This is the video that made me have feelings](https://www.tiktok.com/@santa.ana.winds/video/6865767239228886277?source=h5_m)

************

Oikawa Tooru, son of the King of Aoba Johsai, first born and heir to the throne of this great kingdom was purely and utterly bored out of his mind. Not that anyone would ever know it. All the high ranking nobles of this gathering would never guess just how much their prince would rather be anywhere else.

It's not like Oikawa hated them. In fact, he dearly loved all of his people in his kingdom. From the head of the Nakajima household, decked out in the finest jewels and silks, to the maid, Mizume, currently down in the kitchens scrubbing pots and pans under boiling hot water. Everyone was special and important to him.

No, he didn't hate them. He would just rather not discuss the topic that seemed to be on everyone's lips this evening: Seijoh.

"Your highness, what are your thoughts on the recent movements by the Seijoh forces?"

Oikawa struggled not to sigh in frustration, there was no way this man could have known just how many times he had been asked that question. Never dropping his polite appearance, he answered, "We have nothing to fear, our military is quite aware of the changes and are acting accordingly even as we speak," the noble seemed satisfied with the answer and Oikawa deemed it an appropriate segue to a long awaited exit, "In fact, I'm due to meet with the council at this time, so if you all would continue your celebration in my absence, I would greatly appreciate it." The crowd parted for him and he moved towards the door, Hanamaki falling into step behind him.

Safely out of the stifling heat of the large room, Oikawa finally let out a sigh.

"You knew they were going to hound you about Seijoh. Stop being so dramatic."

Oikawa glared at the man behind him, "I should've made some sort of announcement at the beginning. Something to set their minds at ease."

"They still would've asked you about it just as much," Hanamaki pointed out.

Oikawa hummed in acknowledgment and continued walking through the halls.

"Are you ready for the meeting?" Hanamaki asked after a few minutes.

"Think they would mind if I showed up in these fancy clothes?"

Hanamaki shrugged, he had never been particularly sensitive to any kind of etiquette in the castle. Not because he was ignorant, on the contrary, he was far more educated than the average common person. No, he wasn't dumb, he simply didn't care.

"You're not there to talk about your fashion choice," he answered, "I meant are you prepared to talk about your suggestion to the council?"

Oikawa's mouth twisted to the side, "I don't see how I could be any more prepared. You know how often I've gone over this speech."

Hanamaki nodded, remembering the sleepless nights he was held hostage, forced to listen to Oikawa as he paced around his chambers arguing with himself. He was pretty sure the prince had worn grooves in the stone with the amount of pacing he had done.

They stopped outside the heavy oak door and Hanamaki reached out to squeeze the prince's arm reassuringly, "You'll do great, your highness."

Oikawa huffed a small nervous laugh, "I told you to call me 'Oikawa', Maki-chan."

The pink-haired man rolled his eyes, "And I told you it wasn't going to happen," he gave the taller man a light shove towards the door before turning away.

Oikawa pulled in a deep breath and opened the door in front of him, walking in to see about a dozen faces turn towards him. Not many looked pleased at the disturbance, but at least no one looked openly hostile. It was a good start.

At the head of the table, his father, the King, stood and addressed him, "Tooru, I was unaware you had decided to join us. Come, we are discussing options on how to deal with Seijoh."

The prince turned on his charming smile and swept across the room to stand next to his father, "Apologies for the late arrival, Father. I've been thinking on just that subject and I believe I might have a solution." His father raised his eyebrows and gestured for him to continue. The younger Oikawa took a deep breath and looked out over the council, "I propose a meeting with the leader of Seijoh with me as the ambassador for Aoba Johsai."

An immediate cacophony of disapproval sounded along the table but the prince did not back down. He wouldn't be able to call himself a leader if this intimidated him. Raising his voice to be heard, "I understand the reservations some of you have but I believe peace can be achieved through these talks and we can come to and understanding."

"There's no 'understanding' to be had with savage people like that," the head of Treasury, Kitaro, spoke up, earning him nods around the table, "They know nothing but violence and cruelty. You would not be safe, your highness." The way he always spoke so disdainfully of Seijoh grated on the prince's nerves to no end.

"You call them savages without ever having seen them!" It was a well known point of contention with the prince that calling people from Seijoh 'savages' got under his skin. He hadn't done it to get under the brunette's skin, he'd done it simply to sway those teetering on the verge of a decision. The audacity some people had to go against him in a verbal battle astounded the prince.

"No one can even remember the last time we tried to talk to them! Let me go and start a real conversation between us. See what arrangements can be made to ensure the safety of both our people." Thankfully, Oikawa had been prepared for this kind of resistance.

"Even crossing over into their territory is dangerous, your highness," now it was the head of the military, Hiname.

Tooru nodded, "I wish to take a select few knights along with me."

"It would be better to take a platoon," Hiname offered.

"Bringing too many people would send the wrong message. I wish to only bring Hanamaki Takahiro, Yahaba Shigeru, and Kunimi Akira."

"Kunimi?" Hiname furrowed his brow, "Are you sure about that, your highness? Sure the kid's smart, but he's not exactly the biggest go-getter."

Tooru nodded, "I'm certain of my choices."

"Wait, wait, wait," the head of Treasury interrupted, "We're speaking as if it's already decided. I say, no matter how many peace talks there are, it will never add up to actual peace."

"And I vehemently disagree," the prince stated, looking at the people gathered around the table, "I suggest we put it to a vote." The odds were against him in a drawn out discussion and the younger Oikawa knew this, pushing for a vote now would be his best bet.

They voted and the younger Oikawa's suggestion just barely managed to pass, causing the man to breath a sigh of relief. Another hour was spent hammering out details of the trip before Oikawa was allowed to leave.

Shutting the door to his chambers behind him, he glanced at Hanamaki casually leaning back in Oikawa's desk chair, reading a book.

Without lifting his head, the smaller man asked, "How'd it go?"

"Ya know, for someone who refuses to address me casually, you sure do like making yourself quite at home in _my_ residence."

Hanamaki raised an eyebrow and slowly closed the book, setting it aside, "It's not as if you would actually read this book."

Oikawa glanced at the title: _**Myths and Legends of Forgotten Lands**_. Yeah, he was right.

"It went really well. They approved my suggestion." Oikawa felt his chest inflate with pride.

"Great," Oikawa couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not, "When do we leave?"

"Not for another month."

Hanamaki turned in his chair to face the prince, "Why so long?"

Oikawa shrugged, "I think they want to give me time to back out of the plan."

"There's no reason it has to be you."

Moving across the room, Oikawa plopped down on the couch in front of the fire, "I wouldn't trust anyone else to do it, Maki-chan. Too many people have some kind of prejudice against Seijoh."

Hanamaki hummed in agreement as he began preparations for the prince's bath. Oikawa let the moment lapse into comfortable silence as he fully came to terms with the fact that this moment he had long anticipated was finally happening. He would finally be able to set foot in Seijoh's lands.

His hand moved unconsciously to the long scar on the inside of his arm, right near his elbow. Feeling the raised skin, he remembered the feeling of sunshine on the tops of his shoulders. The smell of roses and lavender danced just out of reach of his senses. Nothing ever came next, no matter how many times Oikawa tried, no other memories sprang forth to provide him closure on this worrying time in his childhood. A soft but deep green flitted momentarily across his mind's eye before it was out of his grasp. He sighed and rose from his seat to take advantage of the bath Hanamaki had drawn.

******

Almost three weeks later, Oikawa was in the middle of double checking their provisions for the journey when Yahaba came sprinting across the yard. Oikawa's face pulled down in concern at the frantic look in his friend's eyes.

When he got within talking distance, Yahaba gasped out, "Someone from Seijoh was caught on our lands. They're calling for an immediate execution!"

Tossing his things aside, Oikawa dashed out of the storeroom, grabbing Yahaba's arm as he ran, "Why jump to execution? Was there any violence?"

Yahaba shook his head, in a way that let the prince know he didn't know, too out of breath to respond verbally.

Skidding to a halt on the outskirts of the town square, Oikawa saw a gathering of white and teal and sprinted towards the knights. People were unceremoniously shoved out of the way, but when they looked to see who had done it, their faces changed from anger to shock. It wasn't every day they saw their prince running through the middle of town.

Bobbing and weaving through the crowd, Oikawa tried his hardest not to look too desperate. This was the first time in almost two decades that someone from Seijoh had been caught trespassing on Aoba Johsai land. This could be his only chance to talk to an outsider before leaving the kingdom. He glanced nervously at the erected gallows. They were still a ways away from it and Oikawa was confident he would make it in time.

Taking a brief second to run his hands through his chocolate brown hair and slow his breathing, he tried to catch a glimpse of the person. Blocked by a wall of teal and white, Oikawa frowned in frustration. Pushing himself forward, he reminded himself of his position as their prince and held his head up high.

The first person to notice him must have been new to the guard because Oikawa could see his eyes widen with fear as he tapped the shoulder of the other guards.

When he had enough of their attention, Oikawa smiled, "I hope I'm not interrupting something."

He still couldn't see the person they held. He caught flashes and glimpses of tanned skin. A knee on the ground, an elbow bent at an uncomfortable angle. Nothing to tell him what the person looked like. From the bulky frame and how it took four men to hold him down, he guessed the person was male. Though, remembering a certain raven haired woman he had the pleasure to watch train a few of his men, it was equally possible it was a very buff woman.

One of the guards stepped forward and saluted before addressing him, "Apologies your highness, but by law, we are required to punish any and all infractions."

Oikawa tilted his head, a tight smile on his lips, "With death?"

The man hesitated, "If necessary, sir."

"I was unaware that trespassing was such a serious offense."

"Your highness," the guard dropped his voice and leaned in as if to confide something to the prince, "He's a Seijoh savage. He doesn't belong here."

Oikawa fought hard to not let his irritation show on his face, "Be that as it may, anyone on this land is part of this kingdom and in _my_ kingdom," he fixed the man in front of him with a harsh stare, "they are afforded an opportunity to explain themselves."

The guard drew back with a worried look on his face, "Your highness, he's dangerous. He's already injured five of my men."

"While you were no doubt out to injure him, am I right?"

The man pursed his lips, unable to see a way out of this. Oikawa continued, "You'll escort both me and the trespasser to the jails where I will hear him out and decide the next course of action."

Another small second of silence passed before, "As you wish, your highness," the guard mumbled, turning to snap at his men, still holding the prisoner. Oikawa breathed a sigh of relief and looked around for Yahaba, finding him on the edges of the crowd that had gathered around them.

He grinned at the smaller man, "We made it just in time." Oikawa clasped him on the shoulder in a show of thanks.

Yahaba smiled at him, "I'm glad," he watched the guards, still surrounding the man, pull him to his feet and move him towards the jail. He nodded after them, "You think he'll talk to you?"

"Only one way to find out," Oikawa said, clapping his hands together as he followed after them.

Oikawa stepped into the lower levels of the jail slightly disappointed. With the group of guards refusing to leave the foreigner's side, the prince still had yet to see exactly what he looked like. The only things he knew for sure was that he was a man, shorter than him, if he had to guess, and that his skin was the color of warm caramel.

"He's waiting for you down the hall, your highness," a guard interrupted Oikawa's train of thought. He nodded to him and moved to the cell that had two guards posted outside.

He looked at them warily, "So much security for one person. Tell your boss I sent you on break."

The men exchanged a look with each other before bowing to him and slowly walking away.

Oikawa sighed and finally looked at the man in the cell. He had been right about the man being built. Arms and legs corded with muscles, folded over themselves as he sat cross-legged on the stone floor with his back to the far wall. He looked remarkably uninjured for someone who had recently been in a fight with five men. Either his guards had been letting their standards slack, or this man was an exceptional fighter. Something told Oikawa it was the latter.

Tan arms crossed over a thick chest, clothed in a loose fitting white fabric. The prince tilted his head, fascinated by the garment. He had never seen a shirt with no sleeves before and it made him wonder if it had some sort of purpose. In examining the shirt, his eyes caught on a dark mark circling the man's bicep. Looking closer, he saw there were two black rings that appeared to go all the way around his arm, on line significantly thicker then the other.

Oikawa opened his mouth to ask about the markings when he finally looked into the man's face and was struck with a vague sense of familiarity.

"Do I know you?" he blurted out.

The man's eyes narrowed and Oikawa wished he could move closer to see exactly what color they were, "Why would I ever talk to any of you people?"

His voice was rich and deep, tinged with a harsh sort of edge. Oikawa found that it suited him, "Are you sure? You seem awfully familiar to me," he tapped a finger on his chin, trying his hardest to place his face and coming up empty, "What's your name?"

The man scoffed, "Like it matters when you're just going to kill me anyways."

"Did you miss the part where I saved you from being killed? Why would I do that just to send you back?"

"I don't know why you people do anything," the stranger snapped, "I never asked for your help."

This might have been the first time in his life Oikawa was at a loss for words. He sputtered, "You-no one _needs_ to ask someone to save them. It's a natural reaction."

"In my experience, most of your people's 'natural reactions'," Oikawa could hear the disdainful air quotes, "lean more towards killing others."

Oikawa winced, he would be the first to admit his people weren't perfect but that didn't mean they weren't worthy of a second chance. It didn't mean they couldn't change, that they weren't worth the effort.

"How about if I give you my name first?" The man remained silent so Oikawa continued, "You can call me Oikawa. It's really nice to meet you," he donned his brightest smile through the bars.

Dark eyebrows drew together as the man stared at Oikawa before he snapped through the bars, "Can't you just kill me already and get it over with?" Anxiety bunched up his shoulders around his ears as his eyes flicked over the small room.

Amusement quirked the corners of Oikawa's mouth, "How could I possibly live with myself for bringing death to such a handsome person without even knowing their name?"

The man's eyes narrowed at Oikawa, but remained stubbornly silent. Clearly, flattery was going to get him nowhere with this man. The brunette sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to think of something else to say.

His eyes once again, landed on the black markings and he pointed to them, "What are those?"

The man looked at where he pointed on his arm and rolled his eyes, "Tattoos," saying it like he was telling a child what a fork was.

Oikawa could tell he was being condescending but he ignored it as his curiosity piqued, "Tattoos? Do you mind telling me what that is? Is it some kind of dye? Do you have to put it on everyday?"

The stranger's brow furrowed at the onslaught of questions, "You've never heard of tattoos before?"

Oikawa shook his head and sat down outside the bars of the cell, mirroring the way the other man crossed his legs, "I've never seen something like that. Is it like a decoration?"

"It's not a decoration," the man snapped suddenly, making Oikawa jump.

Smiling to cover up his embarrassment, Oikawa fumbled for words, "Sorry, uh, I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just genuinely curious," he put a hand to the back of his neck and looked down.

What was with him today? He rarely fumbled over his words, couldn't remember the last time he didn't immediately know how to say what he wanted. Yet here he was, within the span of a single conversation, having flubbed up twice.

After a few moments, the man sighed, maybe taking pity on the awkward man outside his cell, "Tattoos are done by dipping a needle in ink and piercing the skin. It leaves a permanent mark like this," he nodded towards his arm.

Curiosity lit warm brown eyes, "That must have hurt a lot. I can't imagine being stabbed with needles like that."

A sad smile played on the man's lips, "It's not for the weak."

Oikawa nodded, "So it doesn't come off even if you wash it?"

"What part of 'permanent' do you not understand?" And they were back to the snarky tone.

Oikawa laughed lightly, "I guess it's just a hard concept for me to grasp," he shrugged and brought his knees up to rest his arms on as he diverted the conversation, "So what brings you to Aoba Johsai, Stranger-chan?"

The man's face pinched at the nickname and he tilted his head back, jutting his chin out, "What else would someone like me be doing here?"

Oikawa raised his eyebrows but remained silent, studying the face in front of him. A face that tickled a long buried memory that stubbornly refused to be brought into the light and examined.

He watched as the stranger's lips pursed and tilted down while his eyebrows pulled together. Was he worried about something?

"If you tell me what happened, I can grant you safe passage back home," Oikawa watched as his eyes flashed to his before darting away again.

Still nothing but silence from the man and Oikawa was beginning to worry. Why wouldn't he want to tell him what he was doing over here? Was he doing something wrong?

"You know," Oikawa started, shifting on the unforgiving ground, "as long as you didn't harm innocent people, I can make sure you're brought safely back home."

"Who are you to promise something like that?" Finally a response.

Oikawa straightened as much as he could sitting like this and put on a dazzling smile, "I happen to be the Crown Prince and heir to the Kingdom of Aoba Johsai," he gave a wink through the bars.

Eyebrows shot up as the man leaned forward, placing his hands on both of his knees. Oikawa was momentarily distracted by the flash of polished metal around his wrists before the man spoke, "So you're _that_ Oikawa," he gave a dry laugh, shaking his head as he leaned back against the wall, "You know what we call you back home?"

Oikawa shook his head, curious what a bunch of people he had never met before might be calling him.

The man grinned, "All kinds of names, but my favorite is 'Shittykawa'."

Oikawa's face pulled into a frown, "That seems so unfair. I've never even met your people before," again, that tingling in the back of his brain started up, but slipped away just as suddenly as it had come.

The man rolled his eyes, "It's just like you people to think you're owed a life of fairness. You think some ridiculous offering of peace talks is enough to fix everything between us," he shook his head at the thought.

Oikawa's ears pricked up, "How'd you know about the peace talks?"

The man glanced at him and shrugged stiffly, "Word gets around. You people sent a letter, right?"

"Yeah, but you said 'offering' of peace talks."

"And?"

Oikawa leaned against the bars, brain working as he sorted through his thoughts, "Since our offer was accepted, the word to the public should have been that peace talks were scheduled and underway. No leader would tell their people about 'offerings' of peace talks. That's an easy way to cause tension among the people."

"You're making a lot of assumptions over a stupid word," the man growled. It was subtle, but Oikawa was able to see a small tick in the muscle of his jaw.

"You must be a pretty important person to be in the loop like that. Were you included in the discussion about whether to accept our offer?"

Another tick and Oikawa smiled, "So you were. Do you mind telling me which side you were on?"

Long seconds passed as the man stared at the prince. It was clear he was uncomfortable with just how much information he was able to gain just by asking questions and watching him. He went from a passing word usage to ascertaining the general place he held in the hierarchy. It did not sit well with the stranger.

"I voted against it," harsh eyes glared through the bars into seemingly soft ones as he admitted it.

Oikawa frowned, "Why?" The word came out smaller than he had intended and he hoped returning the man's stare would add more weight behind them.

The man shot across the stone floor with such intensity and ferocity that Oikawa struggled not to flinch back.

The man shouted in his face, "Are you serious?! You think some paltry words are enough to make up for almost a century of spilled blood and discrimination?!"

The man closed his fist around the fabric of Oikawa's shirt, pulling him harshly against the iron bars and slamming the side of his face unceremoniously against the brutal metal. He hissed in the prince's ear, "You people only know hatred, you only ever understand violence. I'll not invite such talks into my home."

With his face so close, Oikawa could finally make out the color of his eyes. The deep green color pulling him in. He found himself drowning in long forgotten memories.

******

_"Wait for me!" A much smaller, much more fragile prince cried, stumbling over unearthed roots and low hanging branches. His small limbs working overtime to keep his body upright and moving the way he wanted._

_A tinkling laugh pushed its way through the trees and the fair skinned child furiously brushed tears from his face, smearing his cheeks with dirt in the process._

_"It's not funny!" He wailed, his small foot stomping on a small patch of wildflowers peeking through the roots of the trees._

_A boy of similar age appeared suddenly, as if melting into existence from the shadows of the trees. Short, spiky black hair filled with small leaves and twigs swayed as his head tilted back in laughter. Small, tan hands covered in dirt and small bandages grabbed onto the prince's jacket as he pulled them both along a path only he knew._

_With no choice but to go along, the prince allowed himself to be dragged by his jacket through the forest. He tried to copy the other boy's steps, the way he shifted over the roots and through the grass with barely a sound. Every step was simultaneously carefree and measured in its execution and the prince's brow furrowed as he tried his hardest to mimic it._

_The boy came to an abrupt stop and the prince looked up to ask why when his eyes widened in wonder. They had emerged in a small clearing with red roses growing wild along the outer edges and a small smattering of lavender waved in the wind as if to greet them. A lone rock, twice their size jutted up in the center, right next to a small crystal clear lake, begging to be swam in. The smell of roses drifted through the clearing and the boy turned to the prince, grinning. His warm, caramel colored skin easily soaking up the light of the sun, eyes catching the rays of light that filtered through the trees, reflecting the deep green of a bed of soft moss._

_White teeth flashed as the boy gave a lopsided grin, "I told you it was super cool."_

******

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa breathed through the bars of the prison cell.

The hand holding him jerked, letting him go as the man fell back, looking at Oikawa as if he had struck him.

"What did you just say?" His voice was the quietest Oikawa had heard since he'd started talking.

Oikawa blinked, peeling himself slowly off the iron bars, muttering more to himself than the man who had just asked the question, "Is that really you? You're real?"

Olive eyes flashed, hands clenched next to his legs, voice dangerously low, "Where did you hear that name?"

Pale fingers pushed against his temples as Oikawa tried to remember more but couldn't bring anything to mind other than the nickname, "No, no, Iwa-chan was fake. He wasn't a real person," he mumbled, "Why do you remind me of him?"

The man furrowed his brow in confusion and maybe a little bit of fear, "Why did you call me that? No one has called me that in…" he squinted at the prince before slamming his fist into the floor and shouting, "Where did you hear that name?! Who told you?!"

Oikawa hummed, still sorting through his thoughts, and unperturbed by the harsh yelling only a couple feet away from him, "I don't…know. I had an imaginary friend when I was little and that's what I called him."

"Your name," something in the man's voice made Oikawa look up and see his own confusion mirrored back at him, but instead of chocolate brown eyes like his own, it was a roaring green, "Tell me your name," the green demanded of him.

Not knowing what difference it made, Oikawa whispered, "Tooru. Oikawa Tooru."

There was a sharp intake of breath as the man shoved himself back against the far wall, scrambling to put distance between them, pressing his shoulders into the stone. Strong fingers threaded through jet black hair, making it stick up straight at odd angles. He seemed to be pulling at it.

This wasn't real, right? But the more Oikawa thought about it, the more certain he became. He _knew_ he hadn't imagined a whole person all those years ago. He fucking _knew_ it. It had felt too real.

His face pinched as he tried to remember the last time he had seen Iwa-chan. Fuck, he couldn't even remember his actual name. He remembered years of black hair and green eyes, but nothing more than just 'Iwa-chan'.

Damn it, Oikawa's chest gave a painful throb as if to taunt him, telling him the phantom pain he had felt for all those years without his friend's presence was actually real. It demanded to be felt now, of all times. He shoved it back into the small box in his heart that he had constructed just for this type of ache. Slamming the lid on it, he breathed slowly.

Several seconds of silence passed as each man waded through their own thoughts. Oikawa looked up and whispered, "Is that you, Iwa-chan?"

The man flinched at the name and pulled his arms tight across his chest. He gritted out, "That's not my name," and softer, almost inaudibly, "not to you."

"But you've been called that before?" Oikawa asked, choosing not to dwell too much on what the last part of that sentence meant in favor of verifying his idea.

The man hesitated, "Not in a very long time," he whispered.

Oikawa was busy rearranging everything he thought he knew from his childhood. Places in forests and along rivers that he thought were made up came screaming back to him all at once. He absent-mindedly ran a hand down his arm, feeling his scar through the fabric of his shirt. Try as he might, he still couldn't remember the day he got it. Lost in his thoughts again, he almost missed when the stranger spoke again.

"Iwaizumi Hajime."

Blinking, he tried to focus on the face, letting his words process before grinning. Yes, he remembered it now. How could he forget such a nice sounding name?

"Nice to meet you, Iwaizumi."

A troubled frown pulled at Iwaizumi's lips and he opened his mouth to say more when the sound of a door slamming caused them both to jump.

Oikawa looked down the hall, annoyed, as the man in charge of the jail stomped over to him. Etching out a short bow, the man addressed Oikawa, "Your highness, you shouldn't be alone with someone like him."

"Sato-san, so glad you could join us, how's your son doing? I hear he's working hard to become a knight."

The man hesitated, shuffling his feet and murmuring, "He's good sir, thank you for asking," he shook his head lightly, remembering why he was here, "Honestly sir, it's not safe to speak with him by yourself."

Chestnut hair swayed as Oikawa tilted his head to the side, looking up at the warden from his seated position, "I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Sato-san. We were in the middle of a perfectly civil conversation."

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at Oikawa. Did he miss the part where he had grabbed his shirt and slammed his face against the bars? The brunette didn't look back in the cell so Iwaizumi huffed a breath. Whatever, not his problem. He had other things to worry about.

"Your highness," Sato looked exasperated, finally kneeling down so he wasn't talking down to the prince, "This man crossed into our kingdom carrying half a dozen weapons and injured almost as many fine men."

"Fatal injuries?"

Sato pursed his lips, "No sir."

"And you've confiscated the weapons?"

"Yes sir."

Oikawa waved a hand, "Then I fail to see the problem, Sato-san."

"It's not safe, sir. We don't even know why he's here," he glanced at Iwaizumi and brought his voice down, "For all we know, this could be an attempt on your life."

Oikawa busted out laughing, raising a hand to try and stifle the sound. He really hadn't meant to laugh like that, just how much had his composure slipped? He blamed it on the man currently watching him through the cell bars like a hawk, twisting those odd looking metal cuffs around his wrists.

"I'm sorry, Sato-san," Oikawa schooled his features into a humble smile, gesturing to Iwaizumi across the room, "We were just discussing his reason for being here and it's all been a terrible misunderstanding."

Iwaizumi's brow stitched together in confusion as he watched Oikawa throw a wink at him through the bars. Still a cocky little shit, just like he remembered.

"You see," the prince continued, praying Iwaizumi wouldn't say anything, "he simply got lost and wandered unknowingly into our lands," a scowl flitted across Iwaizumi's face but he remained silent, "No malicious intent at all," Oikawa turned and smiled a disarming smile at the older gentleman.

Sato shifted on his knee, glancing between the prisoner and his prince, finding no reason to doubt what Oikawa told him, but still not liking the situation, he sighed, "Be that as it may sir, we can't simply let him go after harming our guards. It would set an unsavory precedent."

Oikawa brought a finger to his chin and hummed, "I suppose you're right, Sato-san," he clapped his hands together, "I know! Why don’t we take him with us when we go to visit Seijoh for the peace talks?"

Again, Sato pursed his lips, "If that's what your highness wishes, I suppose it's not unreasonable." More like he couldn't outright refuse him without a firm reason.

Oikawa grinned, "Then it's settled. He has no reason to harm me now, so if it's not too much to ask, I would greatly appreciate a little more time."

Sato clasped his hands in front of him, fidgeting slightly with his fingers, nervous to have to tell the prince 'no', "I'm sorry sir, but I just can't allow that. If anything were to happen, they would have my head for it."

Oikawa looked over at the amount of stress this conversation was putting on Sato. He remembered his son telling Oikawa something about a heart condition, in private of course. Oikawa scrunched up his nose as he turned back to Iwaizumi, "I'll be back in a few days and we can continue our conversation then, ok?"

The raven haired man looked like he wanted to say something, but instead, shook his head.

"Whatever. It's not like I'm going anywhere." Iwaizumi muttered, dryly.

"That's the spirit," Oikawa chuckled as he rose to his feet, Sato doing the same beside him, "See you then."

Iwaizumi ignored him, lightly fingering the metal on his wrist as his face clouded over in thought.

Oikawa disappeared out the door and struggled to keep himself from running to the castle in search of Hanamaki. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Oikawa swept through the hot and steamy kitchen in search of the man. He greeted the startled kitchen chef and made small talk with the other kitchen staff on his way through the room, almost bumping into Hanamaki on his way out. Fingers gripped the smaller man's tunic as the prince pulled him down the hall.

"What's the big deal, sir?" Hanamaki whined, not a fan of being dragged around the castle by his clothes.

Oikawa pulled them into his rooms and shut the door before turning back, "Did you hear about the guards catching someone from Seijoh on our lands?"

"Yeah, there's a rumor like that. They also said he killed a bunch of people before the guards caught him."

Oikawa rolled his eyes, not stooping to dispel the obvious lies. It's not like Hanamaki believed them anyways.

"There's been a slight change of plans, Maki-chan," Oikawa grinned.

"Please tell me it has nothing to do with the criminal," Hanamaki groaned.

"We're taking him with us."

A beat of silence passed as Hanamaki processed what he had just heard.

"What?!" He barked out harshly, causing Oikawa to wince and defend himself.

"All he did was cross some arbitrary line in the dirt and defend himself when confronted. With non-lethal force, I might add. He doesn't deserve life in prison, much less death," he was starting to get defensive. He knew he would have to talk Hanamaki into it, but he was feeling himself getting irrationally upset.

Hanamaki watched him carefully. He'd only been assigned to the prince for a few years and for the most part, Oikawa had two moods: flippant and serious. This appeared to be a serious topic and it made Hanamaki hesitant to continue with his objections. So he sighed.

"Ok well, do we even know his name?"

Oikawa's eyes lit up, "Did I ever tell you about the imaginary friend I had was I was about six?"

Hanamaki raised an eyebrow, "No, but it makes sense you would have some made-up friend."

"Maki-chan! So rude!" Oikawa whined through a faint smile before dipping his voice down, "I think it's him."

Hanamaki stared at him, confused, "So you didn't have an imaginary friend? It was a real person?"

Oikawa nodded emphatically and Hanamaki huffed a small laugh, "Talk about coincidence. Out of all the people in Seijoh, the one to find his way here was your childhood friend."

"I don't think he would describe himself as such," Oikawa grumbled, remembering all too clearly the speed with which Iwaizumi had pulled himself back and distanced himself from the prince when he had told him his given name.

"Regardless, he's still an unknown factor. I'm not telling you not to take him with us, just please be careful, ok?" Hanamaki looked up, silently pleading with the prince.

Oikawa's uncanny ability to judge a person's character was not without its flaws. Flaws that had nothing to do with the other person, but with the prince himself and his own preconceived notions. Hanamaki found himself concerned with the speed he had altered their months-long plans, just to include some virtual stranger.

"If you insist, Maki-chan," Oikawa grinned and clapped the smaller man on the shoulder before pulling the door open, "I've got to see that we bring enough provisions for another person. It might take the rest of the day, so don't wait up."

With that, he disappeared down the hall, leaving Hanamaki with more questions than answers. The man scrubbed the back of his head, pale fingers ruffling the short, pink strands. Hanamaki huffed into the empty rooms, deciding he would worry about the prince when he gave him something to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally wanted to end this chapter earlier, but it felt off so I just kept adding more shit. I think I'm only capable of long ass chapters at a time. Plus I'm terrible at determining where to end chapters and shit, like, it's a real problem.
> 
> I want to tell you guys I can stick to a schedule for updating, but my chest actually burns with the thought of that responsibility. I'm great at following deadlines from other people, but setting them myself feels like too much. Don't ask me to explain how that works. Perfectionist issues, probably.
> 
> There will, unfortunately, be more quotes and poem snippets coming through and I'll try to keep track and provide you with the credits here at the bottom, that's something I can definitely do. It gives me sort of a goal to work towards, unlike my other work where I just kind of spit stuff out and see where it takes me.
> 
> Again, for the love of God, go check out santa.ana.winds (TikTok) santa.ana.windz (insta) if only just to see the vibe I'm going for, you won't waste your time, especially if you love all of Seijoh as much as I do. Also, santa.ana.winds, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry if I do this story dirty, please don't hate me x-x


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm horrible at tagging, so if you guys see anything I missed and you think it should be tagged, by all means, leave a comment telling me. I know tags are there for a reason and if you see something that should be noted, please let me know!
> 
> To assuage your worry, there's nothing major that happens, at least in this chapter, that suicide tag isn't for the next couple chapters, I'll be sure to warn you about it in the notes!

Dawn came to Oikawa and with it, new problems. His father had called on him to explain his antics in the square the day before. Why he had felt the need to defend the foreigner.

It wasn't as if his father didn't have a right to be upset. The two nations had been pushing the lines of an uneasy peace for ages, neither side willing to give for the other. It lead to rising tensions and a general feeling of mistrust throughout both sides. Seijoh had very little political presence in the grand scheme of things and, while Aoba Johsai had the diplomacy angle going for them, they had very little goods to back it up, with Seijoh holding nearly all the fertile lands beyond the forest.

However, for the past few years, the younger Oikawa had steadily been gaining a foothold in his kingdom's political world. Being the heir tends to do that to a person, but it was less who his father was, and more who Oikawa himself was. His people adored him, and he, them.

All that adoration came at the cheap price of their patience and understanding as he talked to them, bent their ears on his views and policies. Honestly, Oikawa would have given his love and respect away freely if he could afford to, but this seemingly baseless hatred of Seijoh needed to end. As the next in line, it needed to- no, it _would_ end with him.

Oikawa spent the better part of the day explaining to his father what he felt should be common sense. He asked how he was to go into Seijoh for peace talks when they had just hanged one of their people for trespassing.

His father was not a cruel man, he just sometimes couldn't see the people behind the laws he laid down. Couldn't see how, sometimes, laws needed room to bend without being broken. How sometimes, you couldn't fit the complexity of human tendencies and compassion into such paltry things as laws.

It was well past midday before Oikawa could convince his father this infraction wasn't the downfall of civilization.

Stepping outside for the first time all day, Oikawa took a deep breath of fresh air, letting it cleanse his lungs as they expanded. He shook his head, mostly to himself as he left Hanamaki behind to cross more things off his to-do list for the day. With the day of the expedition closing in fast, there was still too much to do and not enough time to do it in. Oikawa could feel himself falling behind in the preparations and had to bounce on the balls of his feet to try and dispel the anxious energy that threatened to burst forth.

Oikawa tsked at his unruly body, belatedly promising himself he would find time to train this evening. Truth be told, that might be the reason for the restlessness in his bones. A buzzing feeling that only movement seemed to ease. He nodded to no one in particular, consumed as he was by his own thoughts. Yes, he would train especially hard tonight to make up for how lax he had been these last several days.

******

Hot breaths panted in the slight chill of the evening. Oikawa grunted softly as his opponent's practice sword hit his own, sending unforgiving reverberations up his arm. Sweat trickled down his face, threatening to sting his eyes as he squinted and lunged for an opening. A rare treat indeed, a testament to just how much he was wearing Kunimi down. It had only taken him several hours.

Knocking his shoulder into Kunimi's chest, he toppled them both over and crushed the man's wrist under his knee while placing the blunt edge of the practice sword to his fair throat.

Kunimi groaned, less disturbed by the takedown and more miffed at the thought of having to get back up.

"I don't understand why you make me train with you," Kunimi huffed into the night, "It's not like I'm teaching you anything, sir."

Oikawa chuckled and rose to his feet, offering a hand to help the ravenette up.

"I like it because you hate it so much, Kunimi-kun. You want it over quickly and that's what makes you so smart," Oikawa grinned down at him in the dimming light.

Kunimi flicked hair from his eyes and took the outstretched hand, getting lazily back onto his feet. The days Oikawa came to the barracks to train were the days Kunimi loathed the most. Always making him train with him and never letting up until they were both exhausted. Kunimi hated being exhausted. Hated it more when it was avoidable, all he had to do was say no and he knew the prince would leave him be. Damn his selective sense of duty.

"Another round?"

Ah, but that sense of duty only extended so far.

Kunimi groaned, "Sir, your shirt is soaked through with sweat and I can barely hold my sword. I say we call it a night." Honestly, Kunimi probably still had a few more rounds in him, but did he mention how much he hated being tired? He'd say anything if it got him in his rack quicker.

Oikawa looked down at himself. The knight was right, his thin, pale green shirt was nearly rendered see-through from all the sweat. His legs were about five minutes away from buckling and his arms shook when he rose his sword. He glanced over at Kunimi, suspicious at his lack of sweat, but decided not to push it, not tonight.

"Fine," Oikawa conceded, "You got off easy this time, lazy-bones."

Kunimi tilted his lips in a ghost of a smile, or maybe it was just the relaxing of his face, "If you say so, sir."

He bid the prince good night and took both their swords back to the training hall.

Oikawa stretched as he walked back to the castle, glad the night wasn't stifling hot. The cool breeze felt good against his skin and his muscles seemed to finally be empty of that vibration that plagued him at times. Oikawa pushed his hair back from his forehead as he glanced around, realizing he wasn't too far from the jail where Iwaizumi was.

Without thinking too much on why he suddenly felt the need to see the man, Oikawa turned and headed into the jail.

The guards on duty stiffened at the sight of their prince walking in so casually. Oikawa gave them a nonchalant wave and walked down the same hall as yesterday. He got to the same cell and found it empty. Confused, Oikawa walked back and addressed the guards, his voice making them jump slightly.

"The prisoner from Seijoh, where is he?"

The two men shared a nervous glance before one spoke up, voice hesitant, "I'm not sure, your highness. I heard he was moved for being too rowdy, but I don't know where they took him."

Oikawa narrowed his eyes, his voice coming out sharper, "Well then, find the person who _would_ know and bring them to me."

The two men shuffled in front of him, avoiding his hawk-like gaze. Oikawa snapped.

"Now!"

That got them moving. One of them dashed out the door while the other went to check the logs behind a desk. Coming up with nothing, they were forced into an awkward silence as they waited for the other guard.

Oikawa didn't like this. A disturbing thought crossed his mind and got itself stuck before he had a chance to dismiss it. Did they actually follow through with the execution? Oikawa shook his head, trying to convince himself. No, they wouldn't dare, he had specifically told them not to. Didn't he? Plus, he was pretty sure he would've heard about an execution. Knowing how much the people in the castle loved their gossip.

Fuck. No, Oikawa didn't tell them _not_ to do it, but he had said they were taking him back to Seijoh with them. That was self explanatory, right?

Oikawa could tell he was working himself up. All the guard had said was that he was moved. If he could just see Iwaizumi, he knew it would be ok. He paced the small room.

Pace? Oikawa Tooru didn't _pace_. Not where people could see him, at least. He clenched his hands by his sides. Tightened them as hard as he could, counted to ten, then released them. It didn't help.

Should he have come back earlier? When did he say he'd talk to Iwaizumi again? Did he say 'tomorrow' or just 'soon'? Fuck, he couldn't remember. He says so many useless fucking things, sometimes it's hard to remember the important ones. His fingers twisted themselves in knots until the door opened and the other guard came back with a bleary eyed man stumbling behind.

Seeing Oikawa, the man snapped a smart salute before asking, "What can I do for you, your highness?"

Oikawa resisted the urge to throttle the man as he repeated, voice lowered, "Where's the man from Seijoh?"

The newest and most confused member of the conversation brought his hands together nervously, "We moved him to a more secure location, your highness."

"Where?" Oikawa rumbled, keeping his voice intentionally low, unsure what would happen if he allowed himself to fully feel the rage seeping steadily into his bones.

The man swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing, "The castle dungeons, sir."

"Take me," any other words were beyond Oikawa at this point. He held tight to his fingers, relying on them to ground him.

The man nodded nervously, not about to refuse the prince, especially when his face was contorted like that. Had he ever seen the prince get upset? Looking at the expression in front of him now, he thinks not.

Oikawa followed behind the man as he lead him through the dimly lit streets and into a side door of the castle. The night air fueled Oikawa's anger and by the time they had stopped in front of a solid wood door with a tiny, barred window, he was visibly shaking.

"Open it," Oikawa demanded, deathly quiet and still unable to put more than two words together at a time.

The man's hand trembled, but he wasted no time finding the key and unlocking the door before scurrying back a safe distance.

Oikawa pulled the heavy door and it swung open slowly, almost ominously. Stepping into the darkest room- no, _cell_ , he had ever seen, Oikawa blinked, allowing his eyes to adjust. The only light pouring in, was the light from the torches along the hallway outside. Not even the light of the moon could find its way inside.

Not that it would want to, Oikawa thought, miserably. He heard a rustle in the corner of the cell and went to a knee, reaching out to the figure slumped against the far wall. What he had planned to do with his hand outstretched like that, Oikawa didn't know, it just felt like the right thing to do.

A sharp movement and his hand was slapped harshly away, followed by a hoarse voice.

"Get the fuck away from me."

Oikawa felt his heart sink in his chest as he recognized Iwaizumi's voice. It was really him. They had really put him down there.

It was something about Iwaizumi. Maybe it was his olive skin tone, or maybe it was just the rose tinted memories he had that made Oikawa think he belonged in no other place but the light, soaking up the sun's brilliance only to outdo it with his own. He didn't belong here, in this dank, decrepit place where even the moon refused to shine. It was wrong and it made Oikawa nauseous thinking about it.

His ears caught the faint clanking of chains as Iwaizumi drew back in on himself, pushing up against the wall.

The cold fury once again, filled his veins as the thought of Iwaizumi in chains paraded itself through his mind, tracking mud and dirt over every other thought. He swallowed it down to speak calmly to Iwaizumi.

"Are you ok?"

A beat of silence and then, "Is that a joke?"

Iwaizumi groaned as he pushed himself up and into the light from the hallway, "Do I look ok to you?"

Oikawa hadn't meant to gasp, he really hadn't and later, he would berate himself mercilessly over it. He managed to press his lips together in an effort to cut it off as he looked at Iwaizumi's face, but the damage had been done by the look in Iwaizumi's eyes.

One side was swollen with a cut above his eyebrow and a badly split lip that looked like it could start bleeding again at any moment. His eyes traveled down to his torn shirt and battered arms, bruises showing harshly, even in the dark against his tanned skin. Small splashes of dried blood dotted his shirt. One of his arms was cradled in his lap and something about it seemed off, but Oikawa couldn't seem to think what it was. More like his brain didn't want to think about it.

Oikawa was speechless, because in truth, what could he really say? The first thought that came to mind was to ask 'What happened?' but that was a stupid question because Oikawa wasn't blind to his kingdom's faults. He knew what had happened. All it took was one guard with an inferiority complex and mob mentality would have taken over.

A strangled "Who-," was all that left his lips and he saw Iwaizumi stiffen, shooting him a wild and slightly fearful glance. Oikawa backpedaled, trying to find a way out, a way to get that look off Iwaizumi's face.

"Sorry, forget it," he mumbled, lamely and they both dropped it. Ultimately it didn't matter who started it or who joined in, because it wasn't just one person, it was an atmosphere. A toxic, ignorant culture that Oikawa wished with his whole heart he knew how to dispel.

Unable to stand it anymore, Oikawa clenched his hands against his legs and stood to bark at the guard down the hallway, still standing there, shuffling his feet.

"Get me the key for his cuffs."

The guard hesitated and Oikawa pounced, gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him, stumbling closer.

He hissed in the guard's ear, dangerously close to snapping, "Do you feel like keeping all your fingers?" He felt his fingers brutally digging into the fabric of the shirt, "Because if you don't get me the keys right now, I'm taking a finger for every one of the bruises on that man."

Oikawa shoved him away and watched him stumble as he grasped for the keys on the hook, tossing them to the prince. Staying a healthy distance back, of course. It probably wasn't fair of him to be snapping at the man like that. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind and all that, but Oikawa couldn't find it in himself to care at the moment.

Snatching the keys out of the air, Oikawa went back inside to shove them into the keyholes in the iron on Iwaizumi's wrist. He cursed at his hands, now wasn't the time for them to be shaking like that.

Iwaizumi remained silent as the shackles fell off, watching Oikawa carefully. When there were no more chains holding the man, Oikawa threw the keys on the ground and sat back with his head buried in his hands.

"I'm sorry, Iwaizumi," the prince mumbled into the floor, miserable with the inadequacy of the words.

Iwaizumi's voice was raspy, hoarse from gods knew what, "Why are you here?"

Oikawa looked up at him. Iwaizumi seemed to be trying to press himself into the stone wall, as far back as he could get from the prince. A look crossed his face like he was frightened by Oikawa's presence, but mostly he looked genuinely confused by it. It made the prince inexplicably sad to see it.

"You know I didn't have anything to do with this, right?" Oikawa asked quietly, ignoring the question he had been asked.

Iwaizumi looked at the brunette for a long time before he softly admitted, "I know."

Oikawa didn't know how much he wanted to hear the answer to that question until right that moment and his shoulders sagged with relief.

"I'm so sorry, Iwaizumi," Oikawa repeated, knowing it still wasn't enough.

Iwaizumi's lip curled and his voice became laced with contempt, "I expected nothing less from you people. I told you all you understood was violence. Did you not believe me, or are you that naïve?"

Oikawa remained silent, his guilt a hot knife, twisting his stomach in knots. Was it so terrible that he had truly thought Iwaizumi was safe when he left him? Should he have made it more clear not to abuse him? Oikawa shook his head, lips pulling down. No, that wasn't the issue here, this ran deeper than one person. That's what Iwaizumi had been saying to him. That's what Oikawa would be fighting against.

Moments passed before Oikawa whispered, "Can you walk?"

Iwaizumi shifted against the wall as if testing his body.

"Like you'd be able to carry me even if I couldn't," he scoffed, softly.

"It was one time and I'm not a little kid anymore, Iwa-chan," Oikawa grumbled in front of him, poking the dirt on the floor with a finger before standing and offering a hand, "I'm taking that as a yes."

Iwaizumi's eyes narrowed, at the nickname or the outstretched hand, Oikawa had no idea which.

"Why should I trust you? You left me here to begin with," Iwaizumi settled back against the wall, left arm clutching his right as he frowned down at the floor. It almost looked like he was having a whole other conversation in his head with the way his face twitched at times.

"I don't blame you if you don't trust me," Oikawa shuffled in front of him, trying to offer a smile through the darkness, "but, do you want me to show you something super cool?"

Iwaizumi's gaze flashed up to his, sparking, what Oikawa hoped, was a memory in those green eyes rendered dark in the low lighting.

Iwaizumi's nose wrinkled as he grumbled, "Don't give me that fake fucking smile, Shittykawa."

Oikawa's eyes widened in surprise before lighting up with a real smile, the edges of his eyes crinkling as he chuckled awkwardly to himself. He had forgotten Iwaizumi hated his pretend smiles and without him there to constantly point them out, Oikawa had been getting more and more used to putting it on whenever he went outside. It was almost his face's natural setting now and he didn't know how to reset it.

Several moments passed and Oikawa's untaken hand dipped, discouraged. He almost pulled it back to save himself any further embarrassment, when he felt rough, calloused fingers clasp his wrist.

Oikawa looked down, struck by the contrast of Iwaizumi's caramel colored skin against the prince's own fair skin. A light tug of his arm reminded him to help the other man to his feet and he brushed the intruding thoughts away, feeling slightly flushed.

A wince from the shorter man drove those thoughts even further back as Oikawa's brow creased with concern, "It's not far, do you think you can manage stairs?"

Iwaizumi scoffed, releasing the prince's hand to brace himself against the wall, "Just lead the way, Shittykawa."

A few steps later, Oikawa was debating whether or not it was ok to help Iwaizumi walk, when the raven's knees buckled, making him cling harder to the wall with one hand. Moving without thinking, Oikawa bent to wrap an arm gingerly around the other's waist. Iwaizumi ignored him, but didn't push him away, so they continued through the halls like that, with Iwaizumi offering no thanks and Oikawa knowing he didn't deserve any.

Even though it was nearly midnight, the halls still had their fair share of people milling about and the pair of them garnered a lot of attention as they made their way through. The prince's firm stare discouraged any questions, but he grimaced on the inside at the rumors that would no doubt give him headaches tomorrow.

One problem at a time, Oikawa.

As they passed the prince's chambers, Oikawa kicked viciously at the door before continuing on. Iwaizumi glanced at him quizzically out of the corner of his eye, but remained silent as they ambled down the hallway.

Several steps later, Oikawa heard his door open and, without turning back, he called over his shoulder, "Need some help here, Maki-chan."

Hanamaki hesitated only a moment before joining Oikawa on the other side of Iwaizumi.

Oikawa could just feel his friend's judgmental stare through Iwaizumi and spoke before the other could voice his opinions, "Not now, Maki. Later."

Hanamaki huffed next to Iwaizumi's ear where he thought he heard the words, "Fucking asshole," being muttered and it brought a small smile to the raven's face. At least there were a few people the prince had yet to blindly charm.

A few doors later, they came to a stop and waited for Oikawa to push the oak door open. The trio shuffled in, letting the door fall closed behind them as they gently placed Iwaizumi in an armchair next to an empty fireplace.

Pulling back, Oikawa just noticed the sheen of sweat on Iwaizumi's face and the force he was using to clench his jaw. The prince turned back, murmuring to Hanamaki and watching him leave before speaking to the raven.

"No one should bother you here. If they do, my rooms are just a few doors down," he lifted a hand to gesture in the general direction.

Green eyes narrowed at him from the chair, "You think this makes everything ok?"

Oikawa shook his head, nervously playing with his fingers. Fuck, how did he even go about making this right?

"I didn't bring you here hoping you would forgive me. I brought you here becau-," he stopped himself from finishing, placing a hand to the back of his neck and looking down. Way to go, Oikawa, you almost just made it weird.

How was he supposed to tell him he had actually wanted to do this from the beginning? He should have, Oikawa thought, bitterly, but he knew telling Iwaizumi that wouldn't make either one of them feel better. From the moment he had remembered his childhood, Oikawa had wanted to demand they open the cell doors and let him come with him. This was wasn't how he had wanted to reconnect with his long lost friend and now, there was very little chance of that ever happening, thanks to the abuse of the man.

No, maybe it was better to keep his thoughts to himself for now.

"You brought me here because…?" Iwaizumi prompted, eyeing him, suspiciously.

Oikawa smiled a little too brightly, "I told you I would show you something cool, didn't I?"

A sigh sounded from the chair, "And _I_ told _you_ to wipe that look off your face, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi flicked a rather large dust bunny off the armrest, watching it drift down, "Also, if you think this is cool, you need to re-think your definition," he muttered, eyes glued to the dust.

He'd rather watch anything than that freak show Oikawa called a smile. It pulled at his face in a disturbing way and Iwaizumi hated it. Hated the fact that he could tell it was fake even more.

Oikawa dropped the smile and sighed, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

He watched as Iwaizumi's face screwed up in pain again. The brunette pointed to the arm he was holding in his lap.

"Do you want me to take a look at that?"

Iwaizumi held his arm closer to his chest, farther from the prince, "It's fine, I just need to put it back in the socket."

Oikawa had guessed as much from the awkward way his shoulder jutted out.

"I can help with that," he offered softly.

Silence fell as Iwaizumi pursed his lips in thought. On one hand, no, he didn't want the prince to touch him or be close to him at all. Iwaizumi ground his teeth together, on the other hand, he doubted very seriously he could do this by himself.

Eventually, Iwaizumi sighed and waved for the brunette to come closer, shifting in the chair to give him better access to the appendage.

"You better not fuck up my arm, Shittykawa," he hissed.

Oikawa held in a small laugh, wondering what happened to the resentment he held for such an unimaginative and vulgar nickname.

He placed light hands where Iwaizumi told him to and listened intently as he explained how to position the arm before pushing it back into the socket.

Oikawa paused at the last step, eyes taking in just how hard Iwaizumi was gripping the armrest with his other hand. How shallow his breaths had become. The deep crease plaguing the center of his brow.

"Are you ready?" Oikawa murmured.

With how close their faces were, Oikawa felt wrong speaking above a whisper. Or maybe he had just forgotten how.

Iwaizumi squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, gritting out, "Just do it before you chicken out and get someone more qualified."

Oikawa suppressed a smile and whispered, "On three," his fingers tightened slightly, readying himself along with Iwaizumi.

"One," he licked his lips, pressing them into a grim line.

"Two-," he snapped the arm up exactly the way Iwaizumi had shown him.

Iwaizumi cursed, biting down on his knuckle to keep himself from crying out anymore than that. Oikawa continued holding his arm in place while Iwaizumi caught his breath.

"What the hell happened to three, you bastard?" Iwaizumi gasped out, shooting the prince a nasty look.

Oikawa chuckled, "Did I say three?" Iwaizumi shot him another glare and Oikawa's smile faded slightly as he murmured, "I found that the longer you think about something, the more it hurts."

"Is that so?" Iwaizumi muttered, momentarily distracted from the throbbing pain in his shoulder by the sheer proximity of the pale face before him.

Something about the prince's face looked different from yesterday. Today, it almost looked like it had more color to it. Faint blushes of pink dusted his cheeks and amber flecks shone in the warm chocolate of his eyes. To be fair, the amber might have been there yesterday as well, but Iwaizumi had been too deep in his own head to realize it.

A particularly harsh stab of pain swept across his chest that had nothing to do with his injured body and everything to do with the person touching him.

Wrenching painfully out of the light grasp on his arm, Iwaizumi gestured towards the vacant room.

"Find something to wrap my arm with before it falls out again."

Oikawa looked away, a flash of disappointment crossing his face before he began rummaging through the spare bedroom. He found an extra set of sheets and lifted them up to show Iwaizumi, who jerked his head in a nod.

Oikawa was in the middle of ripping the sheets when Hanamaki came back in with a handful of clothes and another person behind him, carrying firewood. The person moved around Hanamaki and set the wood down in the fireplace before disappearing back out the door, eager to leave whatever tension he was feeling emanating from Hanamaki and the prince.

Hanamaki threw the clothes he was carrying on a small table and turned to the prince, hands on his hips, "You want to tell me why I'm hearing about you dragging a high ranking member of the guard out of his bed to threaten him into releasing a prisoner?"

"Was he a high ranking member?" Oikawa taunted, hands not stopping what he was doing, "He sure didn't act like it."

Hanamaki angrily started a fire over the wood in the fireplace and stood back up, raising his voice at the taller man.

"What were you even doing over there at this time of night? I nearly sent a search party looking for you."

Oikawa rolled his eyes. He doubted Hanamaki had even realized he was out so late until he kicked on the door and disrupted his reading.

"I was out. Training ran late with Kunimi and I was already in the area, so I thought I'd check up on him," brown eyes flashed to glare at Hanamaki, "Did you know about what they did?"

Hanamaki's lips curled back in disgust at the insinuation, "Yeah, because the guards always run their fucked up schemes by me. Of course I didn't know!"

Hanamaki ran a hand down his face to clear the look of contempt on it. He knew Oikawa didn't mean to imply he had known about this, he was just upset and lashing out, but even the thought of it made Hanamaki's skin crawl. He sighed and glanced down at Iwaizumi, still sitting in the chair and holding his arm, head cocked at the conversation. The pink-haired man turned to face him, pulling out vials from his pants pockets.

"I'm really sorry this happened to you," he offered the vials to Iwaizumi, "These should help with the pain, at least a little bit."

Iwaizumi looked skeptically at the reddish brown liquid in the glass containers. He made no move to claim them so Hanamaki shrugged, placing them next to the clothes on the desk.

Oikawa finished stripping the sheets into long strips of bandages and knelt next to Iwaizumi. The prince paused and turned to Hanamaki.

"Yahaba still has night duties, right?"

Hanamaki nodded, "As far as I know," he squinted at Oikawa, "Why?"

"I want him to guard this room for the rest of the night. And I want Kunimi to relieve him."

"Sir," Hanamaki hesitated, catching the heated glare Oikawa threw his way at the objection. He took a deep breath and tried again.

"There's plenty of other people capable of guarding this room. Kunimi and Yahaba need their rest for the journey into Seijoh in a few days."

Oikawa was shaking his head before Hanamaki finished, turning back to gingerly begin wrapping the bandages around Iwaizumi's chest, pinning his arm across his chest.

"Absolutely not," he murmured, "It's those two or nothing. They're the only ones I trust with something like this."

Hanamaki almost opened his mouth to ask what 'this' was. He shut it as he watched how the prince's nimble fingers ghosted over tanned skin, a touch so feather-light he wondered if Iwaizumi even felt anything. A thin crease appeared on Oikawa's brow as he continued, checking and double checking the bandages to make sure he didn't tie them too tight.

There was a moment, a brief flash of something. It was much too fast for Hanamaki to catch, but he had a feeling even if he had all the time in the world to examine that expression, it still wouldn't be enough for him to understand what it meant.

Sighing and glancing into the steadily growing fire, Hanamaki spoke, unable to keep the slight bite out of his voice, "I'll let Yahaba and Kunimi know the good news. I'm sure they'll be thrilled."

Oikawa nodded, ignoring the looks his friend was throwing him as he tied off the bandages and went to the table to examine the medicines. He didn't look back until he heard the door close, leaving him alone with Iwaizumi again.

Fingers still nudging the bottles on the tables, Oikawa spoke into the quiet room, "Maki-chan might not act like it, but he's actually a good person. He's just too sarcastic for his own good."

Iwaizumi didn't say anything, choosing to stare into the fire, letting the warmth wash over him. He felt the ice left over from that cold, dirt floor loosen around his bones and melt. The heat from the fire even seemed to soothe his aching body, even if it was just a little, he'd take what he could get.

Green eyes glanced over at Oikawa, still standing awkwardly by the table. Funny, he never seemed to remember a time Oikawa didn't seem sure of himself. No, Iwaizumi shook his head. That was a different person, nearly a lifetime ago. This wasn't the same kid he'd help launch into the low hanging tree branches so they could reach the fruit at the top.

No, that was Tooru. His friend. They might look similar and act the same, but his friend wouldn't have lied about who he was. He didn't know this person in front of him at all.

Oikawa seemed to notice his attention and grinned at Iwaizumi, "See something you like, Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi scoffed, looking back into the fire, "Not a chance. Just wondering what the princes of Aoba Johsai train on. What colors go together? Which shoes go with which outfit?"

Remembering Iwaizumi had heard him tell Hanamaki that he was out training, Oikawa quickly realized what he was talking about, but didn't appreciate the mocking tone. Who would?

Crossing his arms across his chest Oikawa puffed himself up, "Not that it's any of your business, Iwa-chan, but I was doing combat training."

He felt satisfied with the brief surprise that flitted across Iwaizumi's face, but it was short lived as the raven smirked, "You mean someone actually wants to train with a weakling like you?"

An offended noise sounded in Oikawa's chest, "Just because I was never able to beat you, doesn't mean I'm weak. Maybe you're just freakishly strong."

Iwaizumi ignored, what he wanted to take as a compliment, in order to rise stiffly from the armchair.

Pressing his lips together to hold in his grunts of pain, Iwaizumi managed to clamber to his feet where he swayed. A long arm wound its way across his back and Iwaizumi stiffened before pushing Oikawa away with his good arm.

"I can walk ten whole feet by myself, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi gritted out, determined not to let the other know how much pain he was in, just standing there.

A hurt look flashed in chocolate eyes, but Oikawa backed off and watched as Iwaizumi barely managed to make his way to the bed and collapse on the edge. The prince's hands fell back to the table and picked up one of the glass bottles Hanamaki had left behind.

With Iwaizumi's eyes closed, he didn't hear Oikawa approach, he only felt the cool glass being pushed into his palm. Startled, he looked down at the medicine and quickly back up at Oikawa.

He'd moved so silently, when had he learned how to do that?

Oikawa gestured to the vial, "Take some."

Iwaizumi shook his head and said, bitterly, "Yeah, sure, let me just take some weird looking liquid you people give me." He almost threw the thing across the room.

Oikawa's lips pulled into a frown, "It's just medicine made from some of the plants around here. Please don't act like it makes sense for me to bring you all the way here just to poison you. I thought you were smarter than that, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi scoffed, "What could a bunch of people from Aoba Johsai know about medicinal herbs?"

The prince noticed that even though he scoffed, Iwaizumi still held the vial in his hand, turning it over as if in thought.

"You don't remember showing me stuff like that? Iwa-chan, I'm hurt," Oikawa grinned, watching a pinched look flash across the face in front of him.

Unfortunately, Iwaizumi did remember. Although, he was a little surprised to see that Oikawa had. Even when they were kids the other boy seemed to not be listening when Iwaizumi was telling him what to eat and what not to eat. He didn't think he cared enough to remember.

Reluctantly, he popped the cork off the bottle and winced at the smell. Yep, about as much knowledge as you'd expect to find here.

"Wow," Iwaizumi couldn't resist throwing an insult in there, unwilling to give in without a fight, "smells just like you, Shittykawa."

Oikawa choked as he looked down at the shit-eating grin on the face below him.

"I was training. I haven't gotten a chance to bathe yet," the prince whined, picking at his shirt, suddenly self-conscious. He heard a small laugh before Iwaizumi tilted his head back to take a sip of the medicine.

Oikawa pouted, "So mean, Iwa-chan."

A lopsided shrug, "Not my fault you're so sensitive. Must be all this fancy living and noble kiss-asses making you soft."

Oikawa felt a strong urge to stick his tongue out like a child. Turning his face to the side and staring into the fire, he narrowly avoided doing just that. What was it about Iwaizumi that made him feel like he was still ten years old? He wished he could say he hated it.

Pulling his face into a frown, Oikawa looked around the room, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make him sound like a complete idiot. The glint of metal caught his eye and he turned to look at the bracelets adorning both of Iwaizumi's arms.

"What are those?" He nodded to the items in question.

Iwaizumi glanced down, thrown by the shift in conversation. Twisting his uninjured arm to shake out the metal band, he raised an eyebrow at Oikawa.

"Don't tell me you don't know what bracelets are."

Brown eyes rolled, honestly it was like pulling teeth with this man.

"I do, but it doesn't look like those even come off. Does that mean something?"

Iwaizumi hesitated, debating on what to tell the prince.

"It does," he started slowly, "It means a lot."

Oikawa waited for him to say more, but he never did. Green eyes stared hard into the fire and nowhere else.

"Can I see it?"

Gaze leaving the fireplace, Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa, surprised he had asked and if the look on the prince's face was anything to go by, he wasn't the only one not expecting that question.

Oikawa huffed an awkward breath, preparing himself to find a way to distract Iwaizumi from his question when he saw him give the smallest nod of his head.

Oikawa knelt before he could change his mind, not wanting to give either of them a chance to take it back before he reached out to touch the metal.

"Oh," Oikawa breathed, expecting the metal to be cold to the touch. Instead, it warmed his hand as he brushed his fingers across the small nicks and scratches along the surface. He turned it over, sliding it across the skin underneath, seeing the back where the ends almost touched, but not quite.

"It's beautiful," Oikawa whispered into the space between their faces, looking up to bottomless emerald eyes staring down at him.

Iwaizumi suppressed a shiver at the words. He was so focused on not letting his body betray him, he forgot to regulate his tongue and found himself speaking, just as quietly as the prince.

"I'm supposed to carve meaningful things into it. Things I find important."

Chestnut eyes widened and Iwaizumi wanted to hit himself in the face. Damn him for forgetting who he was talking to for even a second. But sitting here, this close to him, all Iwaizumi could see was the soft, chocolate color of his eyes. The same color he took such great comfort in all those years ago.

Oikawa pulled his gaze back to the bracelet, frowning as he searched the metal more carefully, "There's nothing there."

"I'm aware of that, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi snapped, tone sharpening, "Don't you have somewhere else to be? Like in the bath?"

Iwaizumi jerked his hand back, letting it fall uselessly in his lap for a better place to put it

Oikawa blinked and withdrew his hands to place them on his knees, unsure what he had said to earn the other's ire like that.

He sat back on his heels, "I'm waiting for Yahaba," he offered, weakly, drawing his hands across the back of his neck as he looked more carefully at the man in front of him. Just how much sleep did Iwaizumi actually get last night? Was he able to sleep before being assaulted? Just how long had he spent in agonizing pain covered in darkness?

Oikawa felt the guilt kick back up again and glanced away, mumbling, "You can go to sleep if you want. I won't disturb you any further." He stood and moved to the fire, throwing more wood into the flames.

Olive eyes watched him finish feeding the fire and collapse into the adjacent chair. Nimble, pale fingers threaded through dark brown hair and a worried look plagued delicate features.

Iwaizumi forcefully kicked off his shoes, uncaring where they landed. He fell back onto the soft bed, twisting to his uninjured side with his back to the man in the chair.

Minutes passed and even though Iwaizumi could feel the medicine kick in and begin leeching the pain away, he stayed stuck on the edge of sleeping and waking. Not fully one, but equally not the other. Maybe it was because he was too aware of the presence at his back. Iwaizumi found himself wishing the prince would say or do something even remotely hostile.

Hostility made sense to Iwaizumi, he'd come here knowing that and expecting it. He'd come here actually counting on it. What he failed to understand was the gentle, fleeting touches. The careful way Oikawa had handled his injured arm. The soft way he sometimes spoke to him. The unbridled and genuine curiosity that burned in mocha eyes when the prince asked him questions.

Iwaizumi had been prepared for loathing and had encountered kindness. It left him lost. A feeling he was not used to.

A soft knock sounded at the door, pulling Iwaizumi into a state closer to consciousness. Staying still and keeping his breathing even, he listened as clothes rustled and the door opened.

An unfamiliar voice spoke faintly, "Hanamaki said you needed me, sir?"

"I do," Oikawa said softly, and Iwaizumi heard the sound of the door click shut. He closed his eyes, concentrating on making out the muffled voices through the door as Oikawa continued talking.

"I want you and Kunimi to make sure no one but me and Maki come in here. Kunimi takes the days and you'll take the nights. Is that something you can do?"

No hesitation before the voice answered, "I can sir, yes," if Iwaizumi had to guess, the man was young, well, younger than him and Oikawa. There was a certain brightness to the voice that the both of them seemed to have lost a long time ago.

"Spit it out, Yahaba-kun," Oikawa's voice spoke, not unkindly.

A brief moment of hesitation, "What do we do if he wants to leave, sir?"

Iwaizumi swore he felt the prince's eyes glance at him through the wood before he answered.

"Let him."

"Sir?" The voice sounded the way Iwaizumi felt. Surprised.

"You heard me, Yahaba-kun. If he wants to leave, let him," there was a pause before his voice turned harsher, "But both you and Kunimi had better stick close to him as long as he's in Aoba Johsai. Is that understood?"

There was silence, then Oikawa hummed, content. The man must have just nodded his understanding.

"Ah," the voice sounded unsure of himself, "Just so we're clear sir, are we being instructed to guard a prisoner or a guest?"

 _Great question, kid_ , Iwaizumi thought. He waited, barely breathing until Oikawa spoke again, voice as sharp as he'd heard yet.

"There shouldn't be a difference between the two," Oikawa snapped, "but if calling him a prisoner means he gets beaten like this, then I'll gladly extend an invitation to the castle."

"Sorry, sir, I understand," the voice stammered out, realizing he had unintentionally hit upon a sore spot, "I'll be sure to pass on the instructions when Kunimi relieves me."

Oikawa hummed again, this time not as content as before and Iwaizumi heard footsteps click down the hall.

Turning over slowly, Iwaizumi looked around the room, shadows dancing in the firelight as he saw that he was indeed alone once again. At least this time he had a mattress, Iwaizumi thought, sorely. He pulled his arm up next to his face where the flickering light from the fire reflected coldly in the metal on his wrist.

He sighed, chewing on his lip until a copper tang hit his tongue. How was he supposed to do this? His shoulder gave a violent throb as if he needed the reminder.

Feeling a fitful sleep finally overtake him, Iwaizumi fell through dreams filled with the color of soft, overturned soil slipping between his fingers, of harsh hickory bark biting into the soft, sensitive surface of his neck and shoulders, and of smooth, pale fingers pressing into his skin as if to burrow under it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw yeah, I'm so proud of myself for finishing this one early.
> 
> I'm almost done with the next chapter (don't expect my motivation to last too much longer, I'm actually shocked I've lasted this long)
> 
> Also, yes, there is minor medical knowledge in this old timey universe (because I say so) =P
> 
> Again, any tags I missed, please let me know I'm absolute shit at tagging
> 
> Thank you guys for the kudos! It really warms my heart to see them. I do this for you guys! (Also myself because I'm kinda selfish =D but mostly for you!!)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I changed a LOT in this chapter. I was rereading all the stuff I've already got down and something felt missing, so I added stuff. Maybe too much ugh, I don't know. Now it almost feels like I'm trying to pack too much into this.
> 
> Yay! More flashbacks!
> 
> Ok that sounds sarcastic, but I really do desperately love the flashbacks haha

The next morning started late for Oikawa. Between his aching muscles and gnawing guilt, the night passed too quickly and yet, not fast enough. The sun was fully in the sky before he rose and went to visit a mildly irate Kunimi standing out in the hall. Offering him a small apple tart and an apologetic smile seemed to have no effect, so he left him alone.

Oikawa found Hanamaki in the library and joined him, kicking back in the small gathering of armchairs with a book he had been meaning to read for a while now. Today was the last day he would be able to spend in mild relaxation before things started ramping up for their journey to Seijoh and Oikawa intended to not let it completely go to waste.

He was halfway though his reading when he felt Hanamaki looking at him over his own book. Raising his eyebrows he stared right back at Hanamaki before he heard it. Well, more accurately, he heard _them_.

"So that really happened? I didn't hallucinate last night?" A feminine voice sounded behind the sprawling bookcases.

"Nope," a light, girlish giggle sounded, "My cousin said it looked like they were both headed to the prince's quarters."

"No way!" The first voice exclaimed, "What do you think happened?"

"Well, I'll bet the guy from Seijoh was awfully grateful to his highness. Busting him out of the dungeons like that," the voice speculated.

Oikawa cringed at the implications. Seems like those rumors he was worried about were in full swing now. He spared a glance at Hanamaki to find him watching the prince carefully, Oikawa shrugged at him. Too late to stop them, might as well listen to see what they were saying.

"Taki, quit it. The prince wouldn't do something like that," the other girl sounded scandalized.

"Maybe, but when's the last time the prince woke up later than dawn?"

"That doesn't mean anything and you know it."

Oikawa smiled at the way the girl defended his purity like that. It was a useless endeavor, but it was endearing, nonetheless.

"Oh grow up, Naniko, we're all adults here," the girl, Taki, admonished before humming to herself, "I wonder how good that guy from Seijoh is in bed. I heard he was a rather large man. Do you think the prince would tell me if I asked?"

Oikawa nearly choked on his own spit. Good gods, this girl had no shame. He found the steady, mildly amused gaze of the pink-haired man across from him and felt his face flush. Clearing his throat loudly, Oikawa heard the sounds of shushing and the rustle of clothing as the girls made a hasty exit from the library.

Hanamaki gave him a disapproving look, "You really should've said something. At the very least, you should've set the record straight."

The prince shook his head, thumbing through the pages in his book, trying to find where he left off.

"What's the point of telling them when the whole castle is going to be saying something different? It's not worth my time and effort to be upset about lies like that."

Hanamaki pursed his lips, but kept silent and Oikawa forgot all about the encounter until several minutes later, when the shorter man spoke up, breaking the silence.

"So, how _do_ the people from Seijoh fuck anyways?"

Oikawa threw his book and stomped out of the library, leaving behind a cackling Hanamaki.

******

The next few days passed with little incident, Yahaba and Kunimi both had twelve hour shifts with Iwaizumi. They both told the prince that he hadn't even asked to leave so far and Oikawa grew vaguely concerned, but he had a longer list of things to do now that both Yahaba and Kunimi were preoccupied. He had no time to visit Iwaizumi, falling into bed well past sundown and rising just before dawn.

At long last, it was the night before they were to leave and Oikawa just had one more item to check off his list:

Go to the banquet.

It was meant to be a celebration of forward movement on the Seijoh issues, but Oikawa would have much rather spent the time sleeping.

The night was almost finished and he had only gotten about two dozen questions about the man from Seijoh.

"Where is he?"

"What's he like?"

"When will we meet him?"

Most were asked out of genuine curiosity, but there were a few who sneered and made snide comments off to the side. Hanamaki expertly dealt with those people by giving them a particularly harsh glare.

In classic Hanamaki fashion, he even went so far as to joke about how he could smell their breath from there and sarcastically wonder aloud how much fake jewels like that could cost. They moved away pretty fast. Oikawa would have to remember to thank Hanamaki later.

Moving to refill his glass, the prince caught a glimpse of familiar straight black hair and lazy posture. Doing a double take, Oikawa rushed over to Kunimi, who was propped up against a column off to the side.

"What the hell are you doing here? Where's Iwaizumi?" Oikawa's eye darted nervously into the swarm of people.

This crowd was about evenly split on their opinions of Seijoh, but having someone like that just randomly show up here might be too much of a shock for them. Plus, Oikawa couldn't see Iwaizumi going out of his way to be a welcoming beacon of diplomacy.

"Relax, your highness, he's staying out of sight. He just wanted to see what all the fuss was about," Kunimi gestured vaguely behind him to a darkened alcove that opened outside onto an unlit balcony.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Honestly, for being so lazy, Kunimi was exhausting sometimes.

"You told us if he wanted to leave, we couldn't stop him," Kunimi lifted a shoulder in a shrug, "He wanted to leave, sir."

Oikawa fought the urge to wring the man's neck and instead, moved past him, onto the balcony.

Thankfully, it was empty except for a lone figure, facing away from him and looking out over the railing. Oikawa cleared his throat awkwardly, feeling bad when the man jumped and turned to him.

"Having fun out here?" Oikawa asked, gesturing to the empty balcony, far removed from the light and sounds of the party inside.

Seeing that it was only him, Iwaizumi turned back to look out over the stone railing, "Is this little get-together supposed to be fun? You could've fooled me," he scoffed.

This was the first time Oikawa had seen him since he had relocated Iwaizumi to one of his spare rooms. The prince was relieved to note he had removed the bandages around his arm. His face looked a lot better too, no more swelling, only the cut on his lip and forehead remained, along with the discoloration.

He also looked decent (dare he say-dashing?) in the clothes Hanamaki had managed to scrounge up. The loose fitting, white shirt tucked into flat black pants did wonders for Oikawa's fluttering, alcohol hazed heart.

Oikawa hummed, moving to stand next to the shorter man and look out as well, "Is this not what parties look like in Seijoh?"

"No. For one thing, everyone's happy to be there." Even his voice sounded better. Still rough, but Oikawa was sure that was normal.

The prince snorted, looking over at Iwaizumi, "You must have missed Hanamaki scaring off more than a few nobles. He's having the time of his life in there."

Iwaizumi's eyes stayed glued to the shadowed scenery, refusing to meet the brunette's gaze as he shrugged, "I guess everyone seems content. But I was talking about you."

The smile disappeared from his face, "That's not true," Oikawa answered, wincing when it came out too fast. He crossed his arms and turned back to the railing, "You don't know what you're talking about."

Iwaizumi hummed, "Maybe not, but it sure looked like you would rather be anywhere else when I saw you earlier," this time, he glanced at the prince from the corners of his eyes, verifying the slight bags under his eyes, "Like catching up on your sleep."

Oikawa's fists clenched on either side of his chest. The only other person to call him out like this was Hanamaki, but even he couldn't always tell which smiles were simply reflex. It felt…odd to be read like that and Oikawa felt his defenses go up.

"I might be tired, but maybe you caught me at a bad time," even just admitting he was tired felt like a small defeat and it made his face sour, "That doesn't mean I'm not happy to be with my people."

"Then what are you doing out here with me?" Iwaizumi asked, pointedly.

Whatever response Oikawa had prepared, it hadn't been for that question. His brow furrowed. What _was_ he doing out here? Originally, he had just wanted to make sure he was healing ok, but he could've just asked Kunimi instead of coming out here and seeing for himself. Did he just want to see him?

Iwaizumi glanced at him again, practically able to see the chaotic swirling of thoughts trapped under a brown glaze. A light frown pulled at an otherwise calm exterior before it was eclipsed by an automatic smile and cocky tilt of the head.

"Can you blame me? Iwa-chan's much better looking than the Nakamura sisters," Oikawa winked, chuckling wickedly, "I thought I'd try my luck at getting you to dance with me instead of them."

"I'm not dancing with you, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi growled.

"Not yet, Iwa-chan, but I'm nothing, if not persistent," Oikawa grinned widened.

Iwaizumi winced, turning back to the railing overlooking a shadowed garden, "What'd I tell you about that fake fucking smile? If you don’t feel like smiling, just don't. You always look so constipated when you do that thing with your face."

Oikawa's mouth twisted to the side, not a fan of how these conversations keep ending up. "I guess it's just a habit," he admitted softly, fingers drumming a nonsense rhythm against the stone. The buzzing feeling was creeping back and for now, the drumming would have to do.

Iwaizumi peered at the fallen face beside him, eyes distant as they looked into the night.

Iwaizumi opened his mouth. This was it, the perfect opportunity. The reason he had ventured out of that room in the first place and all he needed to do was just ask one simple question. One small request. Stay.

 _'Something's not right, you know it's not.'_ Iwaizumi thought to himself. His hand clenched by his side as a painfully ominous feeling of unease settled in his gut. Iwaizumi closed his mouth and turned back to the garden.

He cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your festivities," Iwaizumi shoved off the railing with one hand, "I'll be going back now."

Iwaizumi moved to step past the taller man, eager to distance himself, but was stopped with a delicate hand on his uninjured arm. He looked up in surprise.

"Wait," Oikawa paused, not sure if he should say more, but the gentle numbness from the alcohol pushed him to open his mouth again and there was something off about the way Iwaizumi was looking at him, which made him want to put the man at ease in some way.

"I'm glad I could see you," Oikawa said, smiling a real smile this time, ducking his head slightly, "and don't apologize, you didn't ruin anything."

Oh, Iwaizumi was _so_ fucked. He stared down at the hand on his arm, unable to bring himself to look at the smile in front of him as the warmth reached into those incredibly deep chestnut orbs and lit them from within. As much as he hated the prince's fake smiles, his real smiles made something in Iwaizumi's chest loosen and knock into his ribs. He didn't need that right now.

Iwaizumi remembered flashes of the dreams he'd suffered through for the past few nights. Cruelly waking him up, hands shaking and fisted in the sheets, hungry for more. Pale fingers, looking an awful lot like the ones on his arm. Hair, shifting through his own rough fingers that looked remarkably like the strands in front of him. A mouth held in the same hesitant shape as this one.

This can't be happening.

Iwaizumi twisted harshly out of Oikawa's grasp, sneering up at him, "Like I was actually worried about that. I was just being polite, Shittykawa."

Could he tell how fast his heart was beating? How shaky his breathing was? He fought to keep his traitorous body under control.

Contempt was easy. Easier than whatever made his heart stutter in his chest at the sight of that smile.

Oikawa's grin shifted to a sharper one, drawing his hand back, reluctantly, "Because Iwa-chan is always so polite."

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, turning once more to the doors on the balcony, still open and letting the light and music pour through. He stepped back into the shadows of the room, finding Kunimi's eyes tracking him almost immediately. His flat, brown gaze glanced behind him and Iwaizumi saw a brief flash of concern when Oikawa didn't appear behind him.

Stopping in the doorway, Iwaizumi twisted his head slightly to speak behind him, "You mind showing your guy that you're alive so I can go?"

Oikawa had his head tilted back, looking up into the sky and almost didn't hear Iwaizumi.

The prince chuckled, "I think Kunimi would be secretly happy if I didn't survive. Then he wouldn't have anyone forcing him to train. You'd be doing him a favor."

Iwaizumi looked back into the dark gaze, finding no forgiveness in them, "Just get your shitty face over here, Trashykawa."

Another small laugh sounded before Iwaizumi felt a presence at his side and watched as Kunimi's already lazy face relaxed into complete indifference. Iwaizumi took the opportunity to stick to the wall as he moved to exit in the same way he had entered; swiftly and silently. It wasn't a good idea to come here. Actually seeing the prince's face made him reconsider so many things.

Emerging into the hallway, he was thankful there was no one around to throw him odd looks. Iwaizumi continued down the halls, wanting to see if he could remember the way Kunimi had taken him.

He rounded a corner and nearly jumped out of his skin when a voice spoke up behind him, "You still move just as silently as ever, Iwa-chan."

Clutching his chest to keep his heart on the inside of his body, Iwaizumi turned to glare at the prince.

"I thought you were the guard," he hissed.

"Clearly," Oikawa grinned, highly amused at the antics of the raven, "I wasn't sure the great Iwa-chan felt fear until now," he taunted lightly, moving past Iwaizumi.

Sour look still in place, Iwaizumi hesitated before turning and falling in step with the prince.

"Being startled and being scared are two very different things, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi grumbled.

"Ah," Oikawa hummed, "and you were merely startled, right?"

"If there's one thing in life I'm sure of, it's that _you_ don't scare me," Iwaizumi shot back.

"Ooo, challenge accepted," Oikawa chuckled, leading them up a flight of stairs.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, taking the stone stairs two at a time, "Good luck. If anything, you could scare people with that pale skin, making you look like a ghost."

Oikawa placed an offended hand to his chest, "You wound me Iwa-chan," he cried out, flicking a finger against Iwaizumi's neck, once again startling the man, "Not all of us can be blessed with such colorfully rich skin."

Iwaizumi felt his cheeks flush and swatted the hand away, grumbling, "Keep that shit to yourself, it's just embarrassing."

"Who's embarrassed, Iwa-chan? Not me," another laugh echoed down the empty hallway.

"Whatever," Iwaizumi mumbled, "just get me to my room. All these damn hallways look the same."

Oikawa grinned and darted out in front of him to stop and open a door halfway down the hall.

The brunette gestured comically inside, "Your room, my lord."

Wrinkling his nose, Iwaizumi brushed past Oikawa and slumped in the chair next to the still glowing fire. He looked up as Oikawa put more logs on the dying embers and stirred the flickering remains with the iron poker.

"What is it now?" Iwaizumi sighed. He couldn't decide if he was lucky or cursed that the prince had happened to follow him back to his room.

Oikawa placed the iron rod back beside the fireplace and sat in the other chair across from him, fingers picking at the fabric of the armrest, "So, we leave for Seijoh tomorrow and I've been meaning to come talk to you about it, but I could never find the time."

Iwaizumi leaned back in the chair, "Yahaba said something about us leaving the other day."

Oikawa nodded, "I wanted to ask if you would mind being a sort of guide for us once we get there."

"You're asking me to stick around you the whole time? Sounds like a lose-lose situation for me," Iwaizumi tsked.

"Of course, we'd make it worth your while," Oikawa waved a hand, "Just name your price."

"I don't want your money," Iwaizumi spat, making the prince tilt his head in mild confusion.

"Ok," Oikawa drawled, trying to think what else he could offer, "what did you have in mind?"

Iwaizumi hesitated, tapping his fingers against his leg, "A favor."

The brunette raised his eyebrows, "A nameless promise?"

"Nothing too big, I'll make sure it's an equal exchange," Iwaizumi promised.

Oikawa hummed, shifting in his seat. Open ended favors were normally a bad sign and he avoided them at all costs, making sure to never promise more than he could deliver.

The prince looked at the man across from him, finding him looking back with a steady gaze. His green eyes flickering with emerald and jade in the firelight. Nothing about this man even hinted at dishonorable intentions and before he could talk himself out of it, Oikawa opened his mouth.

"You've got a deal."

Instead of looking relieved like Oikawa had expected, Iwaizumi simply nodded, his face deathly serious as he pursed his lips and turned to stare in the fire. Fingers not stopping their drumming.

Oikawa was quiet, watching him for a while before speaking, "You're worried about something."

Iwaizumi shot him a look, "I'm just thinking about how long of a trip it's going to be. It'll take at least two months to reach Center City and we'll be pushing winter by the time we get there."

Tanned fingers threaded through short black hair as Iwaizumi thought about how the weather would be the least of their worries.

"And?" Deep brown eyes danced between ochre to chocolate in the light of the fire as they carefully watched him, waiting for him to say whatever was really on his mind.

"Don't act like you know me, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi snapped across the space between them, "We may have met when we were kids, but that was nearly fifteen years ago. Things change."

A shadow crossed over the prince's face that had nothing to do with the fire. Iwaizumi felt the words hang in the air, a tangible barrier between them as Oikawa's gaze dipped to the floor.

"Thirteen," Oikawa whispered.

"What?"

Oikawa looked up, "It's been thirteen years since you left."

"I-," Iwaizumi flinched back, remembering the day all too well. Sometimes he still woke up in a cold sweat with piercing screams echoing in his ears. He knew how long it had been, of course he knew. He'd known how many years it had been from the second he had heard his old nickname murmured through iron bars.

"I was exaggerating," Iwaizumi found his voice again, "It still doesn't change the fact that you don't know who I am now. So stop acting like you do."

Oikawa pursed his lips, "Would it be the worst thing in the world if I _did_ get to know you now?"

Iwaizumi dug his fingers into the armrest as he turned to glare into the fire, hoping to gain some inspiration from the flames.

A week ago, he would've said, 'Yes, it _would_ be the worst thing in the world,' but now, he just didn't know anymore. Nothing made sense. His heart seemed to ache, no matter what he did. It didn't matter how tightly he wrapped himself up in glares and harsh words, Oikawa never batted an eye, never swayed in his determination.

His determination to do what? Iwaizumi had no idea.

He just couldn't seem to shake this feeling of dread curling around him, getting stronger with every word they exchanged.

Unable to lie and say, 'Yes,' but equally unable to voice his own inner thoughts, Iwaizumi stayed silent. Focusing so intently on the fire, he almost missed when Oikawa gave a small sigh and stood up.

"You're leaving?" Iwaizumi's chest tightened, painfully constricting his lungs.

_Don't let him leave._

"Yahaba's due to take up his post here soon, so if it's company you want, you won't have to wait long," Oikawa smoothed out his jacket, pulling the ends down.

"Where are you going?"

_Keep him occupied._

Oikawa paused, it was the first time Iwaizumi had shown even a sliver of interest in something he did. Without a mocking tone, Oikawa heard just how anxious his words sounded and he tilted his head at the man, deciding to reciprocate his earnest question with an honest answer.

"I was about to visit with my father, speak one last time before I left for Seijoh."

A look of such deep anguish flickered over Iwaizumi's face, Oikawa almost asked him what was wrong, but when he opened his mouth, the look was gone, leaving the prince to wonder if it had just been the shadows thrown by the fire beside him.

Oikawa waited on a response for a few more seconds before giving up. Shaking his head lightly, he sighed, "Goodnight, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi watched, rooted to the spot as Oikawa made his way across the room to the door.

_Tell him_

His hands gripping the metal around his wrists.

_He deserves to know._

Pale fingers landed on the door to open it and that's when Iwaizumi's previously reigned in panic overflowed, pushing its way though his chest and out his mouth.

"Wait!" Iwaizumi blurted, realizing he was halfway out of his seat before collapsing back into it.

Oikawa's head snapped back at the clear alarm in his voice, concern welling up inside him at the look of distress on his face.

Iwaizumi fidgeted under the scrutiny, immediately regretting not being able to calm his voice, but unwilling to back down.

"I just-I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind staying here for a while," Iwaizumi shifted uncomfortably in his chair, careful not to disturb his injured arm as he mindlessly slide the metal on his arms repeatedly over the skin, letting the motion soothe him.

Oikawa tracked the movement, but didn't call attention to it. His eyes narrowed at the sudden and disturbing change in demeanor. He wished there was some way he could get Iwaizumi to open up and tell him what was bothering him so much. It pained him to see the normally stoic man fret and fidget like that.

Oikawa wanted to demand the raven to tell him what was going on, but instead found himself whispering, "Ok."

Relief flooded Iwaizumi's face and posture as Oikawa slid back into the chair opposite him, still watching him carefully, but not saying anything about his outburst. Iwaizumi had never been more grateful for silence in his life.

In the hopes of dispelling the awkward tension, Iwaizumi opened his mouth, "How many people are coming with us?"

All that young, light haired brunette, whose voice he recognized from his first night, had told him was that they were due to leave tomorrow. He'd heard nothing else.

"Just me, you, Maki-chan, Kunimi, and Yahaba," Oikawa began to pick at the armrest, unimpressed with the direction of the conversation. Especially when Iwaizumi's face still held the tension from a moment ago.

Iwaizumi swallowed, doing his best to act naturally, "Are you nervous?"

Oikawa's hand stilled as he glanced up at Iwaizumi, "Are you?"

"I'd be crazy not to be. It's not every day you have to drag virtual strangers through your home," Iwaizumi said, shrugging.

"That's not an answer," Oikawa's eyes narrowed.

"Like you've been so open with your thoughts."

"I beg to differ, Iwa-chan," Oikawa argued, teasing glint lighting his eyes, "I'm the epitome of honesty. I've told you how cute you are and everything. I even offered you a dance."

Iwaizumi ignored the smirk and scoffed, "When's the last time you were honest about the important stuff?"

Oikawa's grin crumbled, leaving a shell as he sucked in a breath and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed defensively in front of him. Iwaizumi worried he might have crossed a line for a brief moment before Oikawa spoke, voice soft above the crackling fire.

"That's not fair to ask that when you're not honest either."

A deep, ravenous guilt tore though Iwaizumi's gut at the small admission from such a magnetic person. Forgetting for a moment about his shoulder, Iwaizumi went to shift in his seat and hissed as the movement sent a cruel pain through his arm, overriding his pity party.

Oikawa leaned forward in his seat, soft concern highlighting his features, "Do you feel well enough to travel?"

Gritting his teeth at the self imposed pain, Iwaizumi nodded, "I should be fine. I just might need to re-wrap my shoulder if we're going by horseback."

Oikawa hummed, "I'll be sure to get here early tomorrow and wrap it for you."

Such an earnest response. It made Iwaizumi feel slightly nauseous, "Anyone can wrap bandages. It doesn't take a genius."

"Maybe not," Oikawa admitted, smiling, "but it'll be faster if I do it, since you've already shown me how."

"Fine," Iwaizumi muttered, deciding it wasn't worth it to make such a fuss over some dumb bandages.

They let the moment lapse into silence. Each with their own thoughts plaguing their psyche.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa asked, disturbing the silence.

Iwaizumi hummed in acknowledgement and mentally kicked himself for responding to the nickname so reflexively.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Since when do you ask?"

"Well," Oikawa's fingers were back to tampering with the armrest, "since it's kind of personal."

Iwaizumi's brow creased as he leaned slowly forward in the chair, almost afraid of what he would ask.

"Sure, go ahead."

Long legs bounced as Oikawa fidgeted in his seat. Iwaizumi watched as his fingers grazed the inside of his arm before the brunette spoke again.

"Do you remember me getting hurt when we were kids?"

Olive eyes narrowed, "You were a pretty clumsy kid, Shittykawa. You hurt yourself a lot."

"Yeah, but," Oikawa's pale fingers gripped his arm, "was there something really bad? I've got this scar on my arm, but I just can't remember how I got it."

Iwaizumi hesitated, looking again at where his hand met his other arm, fingers digging into the fabric, "Lots of people get scars. It's probably just because you're skin's so pale that it shows up more, making you think it's worse than it really is."

Oikawa pressed a thumb into the covered mark, muttering, "It just bothers me that I can't remember."

"Sounds rough," Iwaizumi replied, absent-mindedly staring into the fire, fingering the bracelets around his wrists.

Oikawa's eyes narrowed at the movement, "So you don't remember me getting hurt like that?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Shittykawa. You would fall a lot. Maybe you cut yourself and didn't even notice."

Oikawa pushed up the fabric of his sleeve, pointing at the raised stretch of scar tissue.

"How do I not notice something like that?" He hissed.

Iwaizumi flinched away from the sight, pressing himself into the chair in an effort to gain some distance.

"I don't know," he mumbled.

Incited, Oikawa pushed himself up and leaned over Iwaizumi's cringing body, talking low to let him know he was serious, "You know something about this, don’t you?"

Iwaizumi felt his anger flare being confronted so aggressively and reacted. With his uninjured arm, Iwaizumi grabbed the fabric of Oikawa's shirt, balling it up in his fist as he laid his forearm across the taller man's chest, keeping him from coming any closer. Iwaizumi glared up at the brunette, finding him doing the same to him, shoving him back into the chair.

"Don't you!?" Oikawa shouted in his face.

Iwaizumi growled and kicked out at the man's thigh, causing him to crash down to his knee. With Oikawa's torso now halfway to the floor, Iwaizumi was able to use his considerable strength to push him over onto the floor where he landed with a surprised grunt. With his forearm still pressing across his chest, Iwaizumi balanced himself on his knees over the prince.

"Let it go, Shittykawa," he barked harshly at the man trapped beneath him.

Oikawa's eyes widened at the dramatic change in demeanor. It was the same person, still Iwaizumi glaring down at him, but now, he had a slightly predatory gleam in his deep green eyes. His laser focus solely trained on him as he carefully angled his hurt shoulder away and pressed hard on the prince's chest.

Never one to pass up on a weakness, Oikawa reached up and dug his fingers into Iwaizumi's bad shoulder.

Iwaizumi shouted in pain and jerked his upper body up, out of Oikawa's range, making him lose his balance on his knees and the balls of his feet. To further upset the balance, Oikawa pushed his hips up, succeeding in making the raven put a hand to the ground to steady himself.

On reflex, Oikawa knocked his fist into the bend in the arm holding Iwaizumi up, causing him to tumble to the ground. Instinctively tucking his injured shoulder as he fell, Iwaizumi felt himself moving much slower than normal in an effort to protect his arm. That gave Oikawa all the time he needed to clamber on top and hold him down with a hand to his damaged shoulder.

Both men paused, panting lightly at the unexpected exertion. Brown eyes clashed with green as Iwaizumi struggled to work his way out of this position. Oikawa leaned more of his weight on the shoulder below him, earning him a pained gasp, movements ceasing for the time being.

"Please," Oikawa huffed out, "Please tell me what happened."

Iwaizumi gripped the prince's wrist, trying his best to crush the thinner bones.

Oikawa winced but refused to remove his hand. He felt the bones creak under the tremendous grip strength encircling it.

Through gritted teeth, Oikawa hissed, "We were together nearly every day for years as kids and then one day I wake up with a nearly healed cut on my arm and people telling me how I turned up miraculously in some outside village. For years, I searched everywhere for you, until I started to believe maybe everyone was right and I just made you up. Now here you are, thirteen years later," Oikawa struggled not to press down more than he had to in his frustration as his voice dipped.

"What did I do wrong? Tell me, please. What happened, Iwa-chan?"

The fingers around his wrist relaxed their death grip, but didn't release him. Oikawa watched up close as unreadable expressions flickered over Iwaizumi's face before he turned his face away from the light of the fire.

Oikawa let up on the pressure to Iwaizumi's injury, hovering over him, waiting. For a fight, or an explanation, the prince didn't know.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Iwaizumi murmured. It was soft, so soft Oikawa had to strain to hear it over the crackling of the fire.

Iwaizumi rolled his head back so Oikawa could see his face, but his expression told Oikawa he wasn't here, not really.

"It was in that clearing with the lavender and the lake. I can't remember what we were doing, but you were on top of that rock, waving your arms like an idiot when I saw someone move in the trees out of the corner of my eye," Iwaizumi swallowed and Oikawa sat back, vaguely registering his wrist was still held in a warm, encompassing grip.

"Alarm bells went off, but I didn't know what to do," his voice grew increasingly smaller, "By the time I registered the danger, it was too late and all I could do, was grab you by the corner of your shirt to try and pull you out of the way," his breathing stuttered and Oikawa felt the urge to cover the man's hand with his own.

"I was too late and the arrow lodged itself in your arm, right there," Iwaizumi's grip moved, pushing the fabric of Oikawa's sleeve up to lay a thumb over the puckered skin. Oikawa suppressed an intense shiver at the sudden tenderness of the movement. The gentle way he brushed his thumb across the scar as if the action would mend it. Iwaizumi's thumb traced the edges mindlessly as he continued.

"I didn't see who it was. It all happened too fast. It felt like they were gone before we even hit the ground," Iwaizumi's brow creased, his mind in the middle of reliving that day.

******

_It had been an exceptionally hot day and sweat was steadily trickling down Iwaizumi's chest, making his shirt stick uncomfortably to him. His skin was just as tan, but having just turned twelve a couple weeks ago, he had yet to develop any definition, it was still very much a child's body and it was not used to being put through this kind of trial._

_It didn't help that his heart was racing and he was carrying the limp body of his friend. Iwaizumi could feel the small chest at his back rise and fall in short, fast breaths as he stumbled through a waist-high river._

_Iwaizumi let out a frustrated sob as his small legs shook from the extra weight he had been hauling through the forest for hours. His heart sank as he realized adrenaline was not going to be enough to make it through the last several miles through the trees._

_"Tooru, keep talking!" Iwaizumi called over his shoulder, shaking the small body at his back. Come to think of it, he hadn't said anything for a while._

_Dark brown hair, almost black with sweat, clung to the boy's flushed face as his head lolled to the side._

_Iwaizumi panicked. When had he fallen unconscious?_

_Looking around, Iwaizumi spotted a small rock jutting out, offering a poor excuse for shelter from the sun, but Iwaizumi was grateful for anything at this point. The few staggering steps he took to get there felt like an eternity until finally, he was able to lay Tooru down gently in the shade._

_Finally separated, the wind hit Iwaizumi's back, cooling the dripping sweat and making him realize just how unbelievably hot the other boy's skin was. The tremors that had made Iwaizumi offer to carry him, seemed to be gone, but it looked like that was only the opening act for much worse things._

_Another sob jerked its way out of Iwaizumi's chest as he was filled with a sense of helplessness. Tanned fingers threaded through short, black hair and pulled harshly as he folded in on himself._

_His gaze was drawn to the arrow still protruding from the thin arm, right at the bend in the elbow. Iwaizumi's thought slowed and stilled as he realized he didn't recognize the fletching attached to the end of the arrow._

_Green eyes did their best to stare at the feathers as his mind scrambled to think of something worthwhile to focus on when a soft, feminine voice seemed to echo in his ears._

_'Poison,'_

_Jerking his head up, Iwaizumi glanced frantically around the forest, sure he had heard a voice, but found nothing._

_Iwaizumi looked back down at the bloodied place where the arrow dug into pale skin, he chewed his lip and heard it again._

_'Arrow,'_

_Iwaizumi blinked and remembered his grandmother telling him and his friends stories about the voice of the forest. How it used to talk to her, guide her in desperate times. They were always his favorite stories, even when his friends teased him, Iwaizumi would sit there, raptly listening to the tales fraught with peril and daring acts._

_His father had sat him down, not too long ago and tried to tell him how the forest didn't talk to people like that anymore, and how he shouldn't rely on some whispering wind to save him. Iwaizumi had nodded, understanding the logic in his father's words, while his grandmother shook her head in the corner of his eye._

_"Anyani-hime," Iwaizumi breathed, recalling the name of the voice according to his grandmother._

_A gentle breeze, unnaturally cool for the season, rustled through his hair and again, he heard it._

_'Arrow,'_

_Iwaizumi looked down at the arrow in Tooru's arm, blanching at the implications._

_Poison._

_Arrow._

_He needed to pull it out._

_He'd never pulled out an arrow before, his mother refused to let him watch her while she worked and he had never seen them taken out. You should just be able to pull it straight out, right?_

_Jaw set in determination, Iwaizumi gripped the shaft of the arrow, placing his knees on the limp arm to hold it down. He took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut before yanking. Hard._

_Tooru's eyes flew open and he howled in pain, frantically grabbing at Iwaizumi's shirt until he collapsed back on the ground after a few seconds._

_Hot blood gushed from the now gaping wound and Iwaizumi's small hands trembled as he ripped the bottom of his shirt to tie it around the child's arm. Pulling the knot tight, he watched as the fabric darkened with blood. He sat back, feeling a strong wave of nausea in his stomach and hoping he didn't just make everything worse._

_'Cold,'_

_Eyebrows furrowed, Iwaizumi looked around again. Coming up with no body for the voice, his eyes found their way back to Tooru's flushed face. He placed a hand on the boy's forehead, the way his mom would do to him whenever his face felt too hot. Confirming he was too warm, Iwaizumi pulled his hand back, leaving a small smudge of blood on the pink skin._

_'Cold,'_

_This time the voice almost sounded louder, more forceful. He turned to the empty forest, emerald eyes bright with unshed tears of frustration._

_"I don't know what you want from me!" Iwaizumi yelled, flinging a loose rock into the wild nothingness. Ethereal princess or not, Iwaizumi was in no state to interpret vague single word sentences from anyone._

_Several seconds passed and Iwaizumi was sure he'd either pissed off the voice, or had just imagined it altogether._

_'Water,'_

_Iwaizumi glanced back at the small river he had just crossed. Cold. Water. His brain finally produced a thought and he hastily ripped more of his shirt to dunk in the water._

_The voice had more to say, only one word at a time, but when it started listing herbs and plants, Iwaizumi needed very little instructions to understand._

_He set to work mixing two separate mixtures, one a salve to place under the bandages and the other was a liquid._

_Having Tooru awake long enough to get him to swallow proved to be much more of a challenge than anticipated._

_Eventually, both were administered and Iwaizumi sat with his back to the rock wall and Tooru's head in his lap. Pressing the heels of his small hands into his eyes, Iwaizumi sniffled, stubbornly refusing to cry._

_It wasn't until night came that Iwaizumi realized two things:_

_One, the voice seemed to be officially done with him and had stopped giving him directions. Iwaizumi decided to take comfort in that, choosing to interpret the silence to mean they were out of immediate danger._

_Two, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Unable to leave Tooru and get help, Iwaizumi decided he would have to carry him. They were closer to his home, but they would have to go in the complete opposite direction of the river. Iwaizumi might be young, but even he knew you never left your water supply for undetermined amounts of time, especially when the only other person with you was sick. So Iwaizumi would have to go into Aoba Johsai with a half dead child of theirs draped across his back. Fantastic._

_Iwaizumi stared at Tooru's flushed face, painted a pale pink in the moonlight. He watched as a crease appeared in the center of his brow, just below the damp cloth, and a whimper pushed it's way past his lips, open slightly in his state of unconsciousness._

_On instinct, Iwaizumi gently brushed the sweat soaked hair away from Tooru's face. It fell off to the side and Iwaizumi hesitated before placing his hand back into his hair. The brown strands were weirdly damp, simultaneously hot from the out of control body temperature and cool from the night air._

_Iwaizumi frowned down at the boy, wishing he could do something, anything to help his friend instead of just brushing his hair like this. Iwaizumi sucked in a breath and froze when the head in his lap turned to lean into his touch, the smaller boy murmuring incoherently into the night._

_Iwaizumi mentally added another bullet on the list of things he realized._

_Three, his soul might not ever recover if anything ever happened to this boy._

******

"Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi blinked, he was in a castle. Not by a creek. He was the one on the ground. With Oikawa above him. Neither one of them were poisoned. Neither one was dying.

Disoriented, Iwaizumi hummed, letting the other know he had heard him.

Oikawa frowned at the minimal response and vacant glaze over olive eyes. The prince grabbed the hand still lightly circling his scar and squeezed as hard as he could.

Jerking his hand out of the other's grasp, Iwaizumi hissed, "What the hell?"

"You were saying something and you drifted off," Oikawa was relieved to see recognition in the other's eyes again.

"Get off me, Shittykawa."

"Finish telling me what happened, and I will," Oikawa smirked down at him.

Iwaizumi groaned, "That's it, you were hit with an arrow, I towed your ass back to Aoba Johsai, and you whined the whole damn time. Now let me up."

"Iwa-chan's a liar," Oikawa sang, voice lilting.

"You got me," Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, "You actually bawled like a baby."

"Liar," the same sing-song tune, but closer as Oikawa moved his face to hover directly over the raven's.

"You begged me to cut your arm off multiple times."

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa hummed, drawing out the syllables, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were stalling," the prince grinned an impish smile and winked at him, "If you wanted me on top of you, all you had to do was ask."

Iwaizumi felt his face heat up immediately and he tried, once again to twist away.

"Yo-you're, that's not-," Iwaizumi groaned and knocked the back of his head against the ground as he saw the smirk on the face above him widen. Mocking him.

Oikawa opened his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Iwaizumi hissed in pain as he tried and failed to scramble backwards, but Oikawa simply tilted his head to look at the door as it opened.

Yahaba's eyes went first to the chairs next to the fire, brow furrowing momentarily when he found them empty. Oikawa pulled himself to lean back and the movement drew the younger's gaze. Yahaba took in the two men on the floor, both looking slightly disheveled and a light flush on both pairs of cheekbones.

"Ah sir, I'm sorry," Yahaba diverted his gaze, not sure what exactly was happening, but feeling the need to apologize for having interrupted…something.

"I was actually wondering where Kunimi was. He's not, uh, outside like normal," Yahaba stammered.

Oikawa picked himself up, straightening his clothes out as he gave Yahaba a small smile, acting like he hadn't just been on the floor with another person.

"I sent him to get some rest before tomorrow. I've got to have at least one of my guards well rested for the trip."

Yahaba nodded, dumbly and stared at the prince for another few seconds before realizing he was waiting on a response.

He gave Oikawa a bit of a slow salute and said, "Ok, well, if you need me sir, I'll be right outside."

"Thank you, Yahaba. I appreciate it," Oikawa grinned and gave a small wave as the younger closed the door behind him.

Clothes rustled and the brunette looked down to see Iwaizumi sitting up, nursing his shoulder with a faint blush.

"Another time then?" Oikawa asked as he extended a hand.

Iwaizumi ignored the outstretched hand and got up slowly on his own, grumbling, "Yeah, maybe when I'm healed and you no longer have the advantage."

Oikawa couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up, watching Iwaizumi's lips tilt into a small smile before wincing with pain.

"Do you need to wrap your arm for the night?" Oikawa asked, laughter morphing quickly into worry.

He did. Iwaizumi could feel the swelling increase from the recent abuse it took.

"No. It's fine."

"I didn't mean to hurt you so much," Oikawa huffed a small laugh, "You're just one stubborn bastard."

"Like you're one to talk," Iwaizumi shot back.

Oikawa smiled back and looked out the window at the pitch black landscape. He sighed, he'd meant to say his goodbyes to his father before he left, but there's no way he'd still be awake. A small pang of guilt hit the prince, but he couldn't say he regretted staying with Iwaizumi.

"Do you need anything before I leave? Maki-chan made more medicine if you want it."

Iwaizumi looked like he wanted to say something, but the moment passed and he shook his head, "I'm fine, Shittykawa. I just want to go to sleep," he murmured.

"Ok," Oikawa hesitated, watching Iwaizumi's face slip into an odd sort of distant expression as he turned back to the fire.

The prince stood off to the side for another few moments, caught between wanting to stay and wanting to respect Iwaizumi's wishes. In the end, he turned towards the door, deciding they would have plenty of time to talk on the way to Seijoh.

"Goodnight, Iwa-chan," he murmured across the room.

Oikawa opened the door and just before it closed, he could've sworn he heard the faintest whisper, "Goodnight."

It was good enough for the prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh holy shit. Did y'all feel like that was a lot? Cause I sure did. My brain hurts trying to figure out ways to fit all the things I needed to in there. This chapter felt super long to me, but maybe that was because I had to change and add a few things. I swear I add at least 200 words every time I read through it. I wish I could stop and leave it alone, but noooooo.
> 
> God, I love writing the flashbacks I really do. Just imagining baby Iwaizumi and Oikawa tugs on the heart strings for me.
> 
> Next time get ready for Matsukawa! Damn I love that man.
> 
> Also, Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everyone's safe!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Matsukawa! Aw hell yeah, I do love me some Matsun, wish I could've introduced him sooner, but at least I didn't forget him!
> 
> Ok, yes, this is the chapter for the mild suicide talk in the tags, so if you're not partial to that kind of stuff it's ok, just stop reading at: "it took Iwaizumi a long time," and come back at: "Oikawa's hands fell slack,". Everything should be mostly over and I don't think you'll miss much of the story.
> 
> This chapter is almost 3,000 words extra this week, partially due to my poor pacing skills, but also because I decided to add a flashback I had been struggling to fit into the story. I also didn't mean to make the flashback sooo long, but I've mentioned how much I LOVE the flashbacks right?
> 
> I just wanted to remind everyone about sant.ana.winds, who unknowingly set this in motion. Seriously, this would be nothing without her and she deserves so much love! Hyperlinks are still in Chapter One!

Just as he had promised, Oikawa woke earlier than necessary the next day. He hummed to himself as he gathered everything he had asked Hanamaki to find over the past few days. Nodding to a sleepy Yahaba, the prince kicked in Iwaizumi's door with a little too much enthusiasm for this early in the morning.

"Good morning, Iwa-chan! I brought presents!" Oikawa's voice blew through the quiet room, making Iwaizumi jerk his head up and blink blearily at him.

"Can you not, Assikawa?" Iwaizumi groaned, pulling the sheets over his head and turning away from the noise.

"C'mon Iwa-chan, I brought these just for you, I thought you'd like them," Oikawa pouted.

A heavy sigh sounded from under the blankets and sleepy, olive eyes peered out, "It's the ass crack of dawn. At least lower your annoying voice."

Oikawa feigned offense with a dramatic hand to his chest, "I'll have you know, my voice is the sweetest, most melodic sound you'll ever hear. Like an angel's"

"Whoever told you that is lying right to your ugly face."

An exaggerated gasp sounded, "Iwa-chan, how can you say my face is ugly?! This is the face of pure beauty," Oikawa tilted his head and gave his most dazzling smile as if to prove it.

A snort sounded somewhere under the blankets and Iwaizumi said, "Whatever you say, Uglykawa."

Oikawa huffed and frowned down at the lump on the bed. He tossed the items he had brought onto the mattress so he could place his hands on his hips.

"I don't think I like these new names," Oikawa grumbled, pursing his lips and frowning off to the side.

Iwaizumi hummed and popped his head out from under the covers to grin up at the prince, "Do you want me to keep calling you Shittykawa?"

"No," Oikawa crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Lazykawa?"

"No," Oikawa's frown deepened and his hands tightened on his arms.

"Trashykawa?"

"Fine!" Oikawa shouted, throwing his hands up in defeat, "Shittykawa, then."

Iwaizumi smirked, "As you wish."

Oikawa grit his teeth to keep himself from childishly sticking his tongue out as he watched Iwaizumi sit up, wrapped in the blankets and thumbing through the things he'd thrown on the bed.

"Oh, wow," Iwaizumi threw the covers off to pick up his mended shirt and the weapons he had crossed with laying on the bed, "I can't believe you're letting me have these back," he grinned up at Oikawa only to find him looking off to the side, studying the empty fireplace.

"Yeah, of course. They're your things after all," Oikawa mumbled, hand rubbing the back of his neck as he glanced awkwardly at Iwaizumi, "Do you, ah, need a minute to get dressed?"

Iwaizumi looked down, mildly confused for a moment. It's not like he was completely naked, at least he had pants on. He shrugged and grabbed the shirt from the pile and gingerly put it on over his hurt arm.

Oikawa relaxed, ignoring the odd looks Iwaizumi was throwing him. It's not his fault! What normal person looks that good without a shirt? It's unfair is what it is. Not to mention Oikawa had happened to catch a glimpse of another tattoo slipping from the waistband of his pants.

Gods, he needed a minute, if only to cleanse his impure thoughts.

Oikawa set about being overly interested in picking at the fabric of the chairs next to the fireplace, unable to look up until he was sure Iwaizumi had a shirt on and he could hear the weapons being slid in and out of their sheaths. He looked up to see Iwaizumi trying to pull on the harness over his arm before wincing and giving up, lowering it back into his lap and sighing heavily.

"I can help you put them on before we bandage your arm," Oikawa offered quietly, brain still thinking about the unexpected inked stretch of skin.

Iwaizumi looked up, wanting to say no, but he couldn't deny how vulnerable he had felt the past several days without his weapons by his side.

"Ok," he conceded, missing the small smile on the brunette's face.

The process was a painful one. Oikawa could feel the raven's frustration bubble up as he tried to explain how to fasten the loops.

"Geez, Shittykawa, just hold that right there and let me do the rest," Iwaizumi grumbled, shoving the strip of leather into Oikawa's hand.

Oikawa frowned and suppressed a wince, but did as he was told until Iwaizumi was satisfied with the fit and they moved onto the wrappings for his injury. Oikawa could feel that his hand was moving slower and slightly stiffer than before. The prince could feel Iwaizumi's sharp gaze on him and when they were done, the shorter man reached out to grab his arm, causing the prince to flinch and pull away.

"What was that?" Iwaizumi demanded.

Oikawa smiled and shoved both hands behind his back, "Nothing Iwa-chan, you just startled me. You sure are being rough today," he gave a light laugh as he stepped back.

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at the flippant display, not believing it for a second.

"Show me your hand."

Oikawa scoffed and waved his hand between them, "So demanding too."

Before he could twist away, Iwaizumi's hand reached out and grabbed his arm, not missing the grimace on his face when his fingers gripped the fabric. Pulling the sleeve of the shirt up and away from Oikawa's wrist, Iwaizumi sucked in a breath.

In stark contrast to the rest of the smooth, pale skin, the area around Oikawa's wrist was an ugly, dark purple and blue color that wrapped around. Gently twisting, Iwaizumi could see distinct finger marking in the bruising. Finger markings that looked an awful lot like his own.

"Did I do that?" Iwaizumi's voice came out as nothing more than a whisper.

Oikawa felt his heart squeeze at the look of acute distress on the other's face. Trying to lighten the mood, Oikawa smiled.

"Well yeah, but to be fair, I was digging into your shoulder pretty hard," the prince gently lifted his hand from Iwaizumi's grasp and pulled the fabric back over the discoloration before lightly punching his uninjured shoulder, "No hard feelings."

Iwaizumi stayed silent, refusing to meet the prince's eyes as he thumbed the metal of his bracelets. He automatically tightened the weapon harness and placed his hands over the handles of his twin daggers tucked under each arm. On autopilot, his hand dipped to lightly touch the back of the axe at his hip for good measure, as if reminding himself they were actually there.

Oikawa watched Iwaizumi fidget in front of him, passing his hands over his weapons as almost an afterthought. He didn't speak again and Oikawa wondered if there was something else bothering the man.

The look on his face from last night came, unbidden into his thoughts. If Oikawa hadn't known any better, he would've said Iwaizumi had looked scared, but that couldn't be right. The prince couldn't remember a time the person in front of him was scared of anything.

He'd watched this man calmly talk to disgusting (and dangerous!) lizards and snakes like they were pets. He'd seen him digging around in the dirt and mud, looking for bugs. Actually looking for them. He'd been the first one of them to jump off the towering rock and dive into the lake. Anything that took even the slightest bit of courage, Iwaizumi was there, dragging Oikawa along behind him

Oikawa had spent years trying and failing to find that fearlessness in himself, even going so far as to ask Iwaizumi about it only to have him shrug and say, "Of course I'm scared sometimes, but why would I let that stop me?"

At eight years old, Oikawa hadn't understood and Iwaizumi couldn't explain any further.

"Are we leaving or what?" Iwaizumi asked, gesturing impatiently at the door, no sign of the earlier distress marking his features.

Oikawa nodded slowly, having momentarily forgotten what they were talking about, "Yeah, just follow me."

Opening the door, the prince gave Yahaba a smile and tilted his head, indicating for him to come along as well. Yahaba glanced back at the suddenly armed foreigner with a quizzical look, but stepped in line behind Oikawa anyway.

The group was almost to the stables when someone came running up to the prince.

"Sir!"

Oikawa turned, eyebrow raised, "Kirama, you're up early."

The newcomer smiled back at the prince, shoving her hair away from her face to talk, "I needed to catch you before you left. The King wants to send his apologies, he woke up feeling under the weather and won't be able to see you off today."

"Ah," Oikawa frowned, catching a sharp inhale from Iwaizumi, but when he glanced over, the man looked incredibly bored with the conversation.

"Tell Father not to worry about it," Oikawa turned back to the messenger, "I'll send word the second I get to Center City."

Kirama nodded and turned back to deliver the message.

Not two minutes later, the group arrived at the stables to find Hanamaki and Kunimi pulling the horses from their stalls, all ready to go. Hanamaki heard them and turned.

"It's about time, we almost left without you."

Oikawa laughed, "We? There's no way you could convince Kunimi to start anything earlier than necessary."

Hanamaki rolled his eyes and stepped up, into the saddle of his horse, "Whatever. Yahaba," he turned to the younger, "you're too exhausted to ride by yourself, I want you up here with me."

Yahaba had been in the middle of a yawn and cut it short with tremendous effort, "I'll be fine by myself. I want to be useful in case anything happens." His chin was set and his eyes burned up into his senior.

Hanamaki opened his mouth, ready to argue when Oikawa cut him off.

"We're not stopping until midday Yahaba, but it's up to you."

Yahaba turned to give the prince a salute, "I will be fine by myself, sir. Please don't worry about me."

Oikawa looked back at Hanamaki and shrugged.

The pink-haired man sighed and pointed to one of the other horses, "That one's yours, try not to fall off."

While Yahaba and Kunimi got on their horses, Oikawa turned to Iwaizumi, a hesitant look on his face.

"I meant to talk with you about this earlier, but it would probably be better for you if you rode with someone," Oikawa gestured to the supported arm trapped in bandages, "You know, because of the shoulder."

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at Oikawa, immediately wanting to reject the offer out of reflex, but maybe he was right. Forget about getting up there with one arm, how was he supposed to steer an unfamiliar horse with it? His hand clenched beside his leg as he internally cursed his useless limb.

Any argument he could come up with was simply that he didn't want to and even Iwaizumi knew that wasn't a good enough reason.

"Whatever, Shittykawa. Let's just get this over with," Iwaizumi grumbled, pulling at the bandages on his arm.

Oikawa blinked. He had been expecting a lot more resistance from the shorter man. He'd had a whole list of reasons prepared to convince him and everything. With all that out the window, the prince faltered slightly.

"Uh yeah, so actually, I was thinking you could ride with me, if that's ok," Oikawa busied himself by swinging up on his horse and gripping hard on the reigns to keep himself from playing with his fingers.

Giving a weary sigh, Iwaizumi reached up with his good hand and together, they awkwardly hauled Iwaizumi's bulkier frame onto the horse. Seated in the front of the saddle, Iwaizumi's face burned at how weak and exposed he felt sitting like this. It rubbed his nerves raw and he tried to focus on that irritated feeling instead of the smallest part of him that was glad Oikawa had been the one to suggest it instead of any of the others. It would have been so much worse with a complete stranger.

Pale arms wound around Iwaizumi's torso, too tight to be natural, and Oikawa's chin alighted on the top of his shoulder.

Or maybe he would prefer to take his chances with a stranger.

Iwaizumi growled and shoved an elbow deep into the prince's ribs as a warning.

Oikawa let out a soft grunt, but laughed, murmuring so only he could hear, "So rough, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and leaned forward as far as he could go, promising himself the second he could move his arm the slightest bit without pain, he was demanding his own horse.

They soon began moving and true to their word, they didn't stop until the sun was high in the sky.

Being behind Iwaizumi like this, Oikawa was quick to note how tense his shoulders seemed, how often he looked around the forest, how every little noise seemed to mean something to him. Oikawa wished he could see his face and maybe then he'd know what was going on with him.

Close to midday, Iwaizumi pointed out a small stream they could stop at and everyone slid from their saddles to stretch their legs a little.

From several yards away, a flock of birds suddenly took flight. No one paid them any attention except for Iwaizumi and Oikawa. Both looked in the direction of the disturbance, but saw nothing. Iwaizumi chewed his bottom lip as he watched Oikawa's face. It looked like he was thinking, brow pulled together and eyes distant.

Iwaizumi cleared his throat to distract the prince, "Looks like we're making good time. You think we could set up camp early today?"

Oikawa's eyes narrowed at the suggestion as he looked at Iwaizumi, "It's only the first day, we should get as much as we can out of it," the prince cocked his head to the side, "Any particular reason you decided to be helpful all of a sudden, Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi shrugged, turning back to check on the horse, "Nope, it was just a question."

Oikawa hummed.

They continued traveling through the thick forest that encircled Aoba Johsai. Just as the sky turned pink with the setting sun, Oikawa caught Yahaba jerking himself awake for the tenth time in as many minutes. He called for a stop and everyone sighed in relief as they went about setting up camp.

Kunimi took to feeding the horses while Hanamaki and Oikawa went about setting their stuff out for the night. Which left Yahaba to find wood for the fire. Iwaizumi stood in the center, hand picking absently at the bandages around his arm, trying to decide the best thing to do as the sky got progressively darker.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by Yahaba shouting off in the trees.

"What th-,"

There the clatter of sticks falling to the ground then the unmistakable sound of a sword being pulled from its scabbard. Iwaizumi took a step to help when there was a similar racket sounding all around them. Twisting around, his eyes automatically went to the last place he had seen Oikawa to find him struggling with a tall shadowy figure. Unable to pull his sword from its scabbard in time, the prince was basically fighting with a stick.

"Stop," Iwaizumi croaked out, clearing his throat, he tried again, "Wait, stop!"

Iwaizumi scrambled towards the fighting, catching a glimpse of Hanamaki, back to back with Kunimi, fighting off two separate opponents. He looked back at Oikawa in time to see the prince being kicked in the chest, sending him down in the dirt. In the fading light of the sun, Iwaizumi caught the glint of steel against Oikawa's exposed neck.

"Stop!" Iwaizumi cried, barreling into the figure and knocking them both to the ground. A fresh stab of pain reminded Iwaizumi he was in no shape for this, so he kicked out at the figure.

"I said fucking stop, Matsun!"

The figure, Matsukawa, paused, looking up quizzically at Iwaizumi. The hesitation was long enough for Oikawa to finally pull his sword and point it at him.

Breathing heavily, the prince demanded, "Tell them to stop," he gestured to where Hanamaki and Kunimi where barely holding off their attackers.

Matsukawa again, looked at Iwaizumi until Oikawa pressed the sword's edge closer to the taller man's chest.

"Now," Oikawa growled.

Iwaizumi groaned and brought two fingers to his lips, blowing a harsh whistle into the night that could be heard over the den of the scattered brawls. A few more hits sounded, then all was quiet in the forest, save the men's heavy breathing.

Iwaizumi slowly placed a hand on Oikawa's sword, pushing it down until the tip touched the ground and watching the prince's eyes track his every move carefully.

Oikawa barked over his shoulder, "Everyone ok?"

They heard shuffles and scattered mumbling, but it was easy to make out the distinct voices of Hanamaki, Kunimi, and Yahaba responding in the affirmative.

Iwaizumi also turned to shout into the dark, "How about you guys?"

Oikawa's eyes grew cold as they heard three voices grumble variations of, 'Fine'.

Iwaizumi turned slightly to Matsukawa, "You had Kyōtani go after the smaller one?"

The messy haired raven grinned slightly and shrugged from his place in the dirt, "It was hard to hold him back."

Iwaizumi groaned internally, if Yahaba got hurt, he was kicking Kyōtani's ass.

Oikawa slid his sword back in its sheath and pulled harshly on Iwaizumi's shirt, "Can I talk to you?"

Another hand gripped Iwaizumi's forearm, keeping him planted there.

Matsukawa pulled himself up and turned to Oikawa, "He's done talking to you guys. We're leaving."

The fingers gripping Iwaizumi's arm gave a small tug, both in opposite directions, making Iwaizumi shove the hands off him in a huff.

Matsukawa raised his eyebrows in surprise, trying to keep his voice low, as he moved closer to Iwaizumi, "What the actual fuck, Iwaizumi? You act weird for a week and just up and leave? You're a real piece of shit for making us worry like that and now what?" Matsukawa threw his arms up, "You're pissed at us for trying to help you? I don’t think so. Now come on, we're all going back home and you can have fun explaining all this to your family."

He reached out again, but Iwaizumi slapped his hand away, snarling, "I'm not explaining myself to anyone. You think I wanted your help? Think again. Now go make sure everyone's ok and don't let them start shit again."

The taller man looked struck and simply stared at Iwaizumi.

"Now, Matsukawa," Iwaizumi barked.

Throwing him a sullen look, Matsukawa obliged and began walking over where Kindaichi and Watari were grouped together.

Iwaizumi watched him go before turning to Oikawa, "You wanted to talk."

Critical brown eyes peeled themselves off Matsukawa's retreating form and focused on Iwaizumi.

"Was this planned?" Oikawa asked abruptly.

"No."

Iwaizumi knew it looked bad. It looked like he had lured them into an ambush, but he honestly had no idea they had followed him to Aoba Johsai like this. Of course he'd known someone was following them when they left the castle, but he had hoped they would've been smart enough to wait until he was able to talk to them. He sent a glare towards an oblivious Matsukawa. Obviously, that didn't happen.

"But you know them?" Oikawa's question dragged his attention back to the prince.

"Yes."

"I'm really going to need a lot more than one word answers right now, Iwa-chan," delicate fingers tapped the pommel of his sword as Oikawa's eyes darted between Hanamaki and Kunimi to the last place they had heard Yahaba in the forest. It just occurred to Iwaizumi how nervous Oikawa might actually be.

Iwaizumi cleared his throat, "I didn't tell them to attack you. I'd noticed they were there a while back, but I was hoping to get a chance to talk to them before this happened," the tapping stopped and Iwaizumi sighed, "They're friends from back home. They probably thought I needed help. They're idiots, but they're harmless."

"They're only harmless because you told them to stop," Oikawa huffed and Iwaizumi couldn't disagree.

Oikawa tilted his head, "Why would they think you needed help?"

"You want to know, then ask them, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi snapped. The abruptness caught Oikawa off guard and he raised his eyebrows.

A thought occurred to Oikawa, one he'd had before, but never got a real answer to.

"Why'd you come here alone? You never did answer me," Oikawa asked softly.

Iwaizumi pulled at the wrappings around his arm, suddenly feeling like they were too tight.

"It's none of your fucking business what I do."

Oikawa watched as Iwaizumi pushed past him and headed to speak with the tall raven again. The prince sighed, a small worm of irritation threading through him. Oikawa promising himself he'd find time to ask him again, but in the mean time, he needed to make sure everyone was ok.

Yahaba stumbled out of the forest with a pile of sticks in one hand and his sword in the other. He ran his tongue absently over his split lip as he eyed the last member of Seijoh who stalked into view with him. Kyōtani, if Oikawa remembered correctly.

Oikawa bent to make sure Yahaba was ok, speaking low as they started a fire in the last rays of the sunlight.

Iwaizumi grabbed Kyōtani by the back of his neck and bent him down to growl in his ear and berate him for being so impatient. Though, as Iwaizumi pulled back to get a look at the guy, it seemed Yahaba had given just as good as he got from the black eye forming on Kyōtani's face. Iwaizumi was impressed, he didn't think Yahaba had it in him. Good for him.

Iwaizumi slapped the side of Kyōtani's face with a chuckle, making the younger pull his lips into a frown and knock his senior's hand off in a huff.

Matsukawa knocked Iwaizumi's shoulder and the shorter man looked up in time to see Oikawa turning to talk to Matsukawa.

"Are all your people good?"

Matsukawa hesitated, not expecting Oikawa to talk to him, "Uh," he stole a glance at Iwaizumi who shrugged and nodded at him to continue, "Yeah, nothing too serious. Thanks."

Oikawa squinted at Matsukawa, "Why do you keep looking at Iwaizumi? That's at least the second time you've done that while I'm talking to you."

Matsukawa took a small step backwards, like distance would make his gaze any less sharp. He strongly resisted the urge to look back at Iwaizumi again before answering.

"Look, I don't know who you are, but I'm sorry we attacked you like that. We just thought he was in trouble," he gestured vaguely to Iwaizumi.

"Yeah, that much I could tell, but it didn't answer my question," Oikawa matched his step with his own, "Matsukawa, wasn't it?"

Again, Matsukawa took another half step back as he nodded.

"Look, Matsukawa, I'm a real nice guy. Most of the time. But my patience is wearing very thin and, for once, when I ask a question, I'd like to hear a real answer," Oikawa's hand gripped the cold metal of his pommel as he stared into coal black eyes.

Matsukawa angled his body away from the brunette. He sent another glance to Iwaizumi and was surprised when he responded.

"Tell them Matsun," Iwaizumi said. Oikawa looked over at him, clearly irritated he had been the one to answer when he wasn't being talked to.

Matsukawa shifted uncomfortably in front of them, passing his gaze over to the trees behind them, "All we wanted to do was bring him home. Everyone's worried."

"Why did he leave?" Oikawa asked. If Iwaizumi wouldn't tell him, maybe this person would.

Matsukawa's eyes widened and he glanced at Iwaizumi, whispering, "You didn't tell-,"

"I just told you it was none of your business," Iwaizumi interrupted, glaring at Oikawa.

"For fuck's sake!" Oikawa returned the lethal glare with no less venom, "What's so hard about just telling me, Iwa-chan?"

"It's not important anymore," Matsukawa's voice rose, cutting off whatever Iwaizumi had opened his mouth to say. All eyes turned to him and he looked towards Iwaizumi with a meaningful look on his face.

"Right? Something's...different? Something happened?" Matsukawa asked, trying to put as much meaning as possible into his words.

Iwaizumi clenched his jaw and turned away.

"Right," Iwaizumi gritted out.

Oikawa looked from Matsukawa to Iwaizumi, sure they were having a completely different conversation than what he was hearing. He threw up his hands and stomped away from them to throw himself in front of the fire.

Avoiding awkward glances, everyone from Aoba Johsai began gathering around their prince, taking in the heat from the fire. The ones from Seijoh crowded around Iwaizumi, offering small greetings and giving his wounded arm long looks from the corners of their eyes.

Matsukawa watched as Iwaizumi's eyes alighted on the group next to the fire. Something really was different.

Matsukawa remembered vividly, the weirdness Iwaizumi had surrounded himself with the last week before he had left. He couldn't pinpoint just one thing exactly, but it was enough to make Matsukawa take notice. Going on about how the peace talks were for nothing, how it was all up to him and saying odd things like that.

Then, before he could ask him about it, Iwaizumi was nowhere to be found. Honestly, if it hadn't been for Kyōtani bursting into his room in the dead of night, he would've just thought Iwaizumi wanted some time alone. He liked to do that sometimes whenever he was stressed, or anxious about something, he would spend days in the forest. No one could find him when he got like that, so there was no point even trying. Matsukawa had a bad feeling about this time and, thanks to Kyōtani, he knew it wasn't all in his head.

Unfortunately for them, Iwaizumi had a head start and was much faster moving through the woods than any of them were.

Matsukawa poked lightly at his wrapped arm, "So, you gonna tell us what happened?"

Iwaizumi looked down at the arm in question before lifting his other shoulder in a shrug, "Ran into a bit of trouble."

Matsukawa glanced at the other group where the smaller brunette (Yahaba?) was glaring daggers at Kyōtani from his spot next to the fire.

"From these guys?" Matsukawa asked.

Iwaizumi scoffed, "I would've let you hack them to pieces if it was."

Watari and Kindaichi shared small smiles at that, but Kyōtani was busy returning the glares with his own and oh boy, if looks could kill, both would be long dead.

"What are we still doing here, Iwaizumi?" Matsukawa asked, pulling his attention back, "It'll be a lot quicker without having to drag them along," he shifted to lean against a tree and watch the shorter man carefully.

"They're all going to the same place. It seems stupid to leave them only to have them show up back home. Plus," Iwaizumi shifted, scratching the back of his neck, "I kind of agreed to show them the way."

"I say let them get lost. Why should we care? They're the ones that want to come talk to us," Matsukawa paused and leaned toward Iwaizumi, "You were going to take them the long way around, weren't you?"

Iwaizumi scowled at the taller man, "So what if I was? I didn't want to risk taking them into towns and along the main roads."

"Why's that?" Matsukawa taunted, "Because of bandits? Or because they might figure out who you are?"

"Shut up, Matsun," Iwaizumi growled, shooting the other a glare.

Matsukawa dropped his voice, but he didn't stop talking, "I knew it, I fucking knew it. You didn't tell them, did you? I guess that would've defeated the purpose of your selfish little mission, wouldn't it?"

"I said shut it!" Iwaizumi yelled, fisting his good hand in Matsukawa's shirt, and shoving him back against the tree.

Matsukawa opened his mouth to shout back when someone cleared their throat off to the side.

They both looked over to see Hanamaki standing awkwardly with two small bowls in his hands. Iwaizumi released Matsukawa and all of Seijoh turned to look at the newcomer, making the pink haired man shift under the scrutiny.

"We, uh, made some food, if you guys want any. There's more near the fire if you want to come over," Hanamaki shrugged, looking like this wasn't his idea and he would rather be literally anywhere else.

Iwaizumi was too busy staring daggers at Matsukawa, so the taller raven moved forward to accept the bowls. Watari, Kindaichi, and even Kyōtani moved around the two, eager to get away from the rising tension. They followed where Hanamaki pointed and grabbed for their own bowls.

"Thanks, we appreciate it," Matsukawa held up his bowl in thanks. Hanamaki nodded and went to turn away when Matsukawa spoke up again.

"Hey, I don't think I got your name before."

"When? Before you ambushed us?" Hanamaki sneered, raising a hand to rest on his cocked hip.

Matsukawa laughed, "Hey, we said sorry, c'mon, give us a break."

"Whatever," Hanamaki scoffed, "Iwaizumi knows my name, ask him if you want to know so bad."

"But I wanted to ask you," Matsukawa grinned.

Hanamaki scowled up at him and rolled his eyes, turning back to the fire. He was halfway there before he threw over his shoulder, "Hanamaki."

Matsukawa's grin widened as he watched him go. His thoughts were interrupted when Iwaizumi lifted a bowl out of his hand and reprimanded him.

"Stop being a fucking creep, Matsun."

Matsukawa chuckled, "I don't want to hear it from you. I saw you being cuddled by the pretty boy in charge over there."

Iwaizumi felt a strong urge to stab his friend. Too bad one arm was bandaged and the other held his dinner.

"I couldn't ride on my own, shit head, not without a properly trained horse," Iwaizumi growled between sips out of the bowl. Damn, whatever they made was actually pretty good and he was starving.

Iwaizumi glanced up at Matsukawa, "So how long have you guys been following us?"

Matsukawa shrugged, "Most of the day. It was pure luck that Watari saw you guys leaving. He's the only one able to get close without people noticing."

"Well, _I_ noticed and I'm pretty sure Shittykawa over there noticed something was up too. Why didn't you guys wait until everyone was asleep?"

Matsukawa grinned, "You know how hard it is to convince Kyōtani to wait. Man's got no patience. I practically had to tie him up to make him wait as long as he did," he went to take a sip from his bowl and stopped, "Wait, did you say Shittykawa? Like the royal family, Oikawa?"

Iwaizumi sighed and nodded.

Matsukawa stood up straight and looked back over where the people from Aoba Johsai were sharing a meal and tentative conversation with the trio from Seijoh.

"Sweet, which one is he?"

Iwaizumi took his time downing the rest of the food. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he shrugged.

"The one you were fighting."

Normally lazy eyes widened as Matsukawa looked back over to the person in question, deep in conversation with a nervous Kindaichi.

"Damn, it's so not fair to be that pretty _and_ be royalty. Dude really won life's lottery, huh?" Matsukawa snickered before remembering how the prince had talked to Iwaizumi before, "Hey, he always talk like that to people he met a week ago, or is it just you?

Iwaizumi suddenly became invested in the empty bowl in hands, muttering, "We kind of met when we were younger."

"Ah, so like that other little kid you knew. What was his name again? Was it Tora? Tomaru?" Matsukawa raised an eyebrow and went to take a sip of the soup.

"It was Tooru," Iwaizumi pulled at his bandages slightly, "And apparently, that's him."

Matsukawa stopped mid-sip, staring at Iwaizumi over the edge of the bowl.

"He's what now?"

Iwaizumi avoided the other's gaze and stared off into the darkened forest, "The kid from Aoba Johsai I used to play with."

"You were _friends_ with the prince of Aoba Johsai?" Matsukawa marveled, forgetting his volume.

Iwaizumi glanced nervously towards the fire, not wanting to draw their attention.

He hissed back, "How was I supposed to know who he was? He refused to give me his family name whenever I asked, I just thought it was something dumb."

Iwaizumi clenched the bowl in his hand, "I didn't even recognize him until he called me that stupid nickname."

Matsukawa busted out laughing, drawing the fireside group's gaze to them.

Iwaizumi kicked out at the taller man's shins, trying to get him to shut up with no success.

Wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, Matsukawa chuckled, "Holy shit, that's unbelievable. It's just like those stories your grandmother used to tell us, remember?"

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow, yanking Matsukawa's arm to pull him down and hiss in his face, "It's nothing like those ridiculous stories, Matsun so shut up."

Matsukawa did _not_ shut up, only grinned harder, "What was it she used to tell us when we made fun of the most random coincidences in her stories? I'm sure you remember."

Iwaizumi's grip hardened on Matsukawa's arm as he growled, "'Life is what you make it, but some things demand to happen.' Now shut the hell up, you're causing a scene."

"My bad," Matsukawa chuckled, not the least bit apologetic. He raised a hand to acknowledge the others, most of whom went back to their own conversations, with the exception of Oikawa, whose gaze lingered on the pair.

"But seriously," Matsukawa swiveled his head back to look at Iwaizumi, "how did you two even meet? I can't imagine they let a young prince wander too close to Seijoh."

"It's a long story," Iwaizumi fidgeted with the bowl in his hand. It really wasn't that long of a story, he just didn't feel like telling Matsukawa anything else, especially with the way he was acting right now.

"Look," Iwaizumi sighed, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, "I'm tired and I still have to talk to him about you guys joining us for the journey so, unless there's something important, make camp close by and I'll talk to you in the morning."

Matsukawa pursed his lips, his hands tightened for a moment on the bowl he was holding and he opened his mouth to say something when he paused. He shook his head slightly and gave Iwaizumi his lazy grin.

"Nah, nothing too important," he clapped a hand on the uninjured shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, "We're all just happy you're more or less ok."

Iwaizumi shook off the hand and avoided the other's gaze as he grumbled, "Yeah, whatever. Talk to you tomorrow."

Iwaizumi picked his way over to Oikawa, who immediately noticed and raised an eyebrow at the approach. Iwaizumi placed his bowl on the growing stack and cocked his head to the side, signaling the need for a private conversation. Smiling widely to the others, Oikawa excused himself and made his way over to the side where Iwaizumi was waiting.

Before Iwaizumi could speak, Oikawa beat him to it, "You want to ask if they can join us, right?"

Caught off guard at the shrewd deduction, Iwaizumi momentarily fumbled with his words, "Yeah, I-, it just seems dumb to send them off while we follow them," he shifted under the brown gaze watching him, feeling it in a way he didn't when he was with Matsukawa, "They'd be a big help too," he begrudgingly admitted.

"I was planning on asking them to join us anyways," Oikawa grinned at the surprise on Iwaizumi's face, "Don't look so shocked, Iwa-chan, they seem like really good people and I thought," the prince paused, shifting a little, "I thought they would make you feel more at ease."

"That's," Iwaizumi blinked, unsure why that thought crossed Oikawa's mind in the first place, "uh, that's fine too, I guess."

Oikawa brought his hands together in front of him, pulling lightly on his own fingers as he asked, "Can I ask you one thing, though?"

Iwaizumi looked into the brown eyes across from him, the warm color almost dulled to a black in the faded light from the fire. There was no light tease in the look, no heat to be felt. Just a simple, somber gaze and Iwaizumi realized this was one of the rare times when Oikawa got intensely serious. It made his heart drop.

Oikawa didn't wait for Iwaizumi to answer, "Your friends seemed very worried about you when we talked," he gestured to the fire behind the trees, where they could still hear light conversations being held.

"They seemed _so_ worried, I have to ask again," Oikawa reached out with a pale finger to touch the metal band around Iwaizumi's wrist and even though they were the only ones there, Oikawa's voice dropped to a whisper, "Why did you come here? Why all alone?" He pulled his gaze up to search the olive green orbs, "Tell me Iwa, please."

Iwaizumi wanted to rip his wrist free from the wandering, nimble fingers sliding over his bracelets like they held the answer to all his questions. Accidental touches to the skin of his arms triggered waves of goosebumps to erupt and prickle his senses, dull his world, until that contact was the only thing holding Iwaizumi on the face of the Earth.

Iwaizumi wanted to snap, yell at the man in front of him to mind his own business, just like earlier. It was the soft dip in the lyrical voice as he whispered that small portion of his name that stopped him. Made him want to hear nothing else, if he could only listen to those two syllables for the rest of his life. It made his heart thud painfully in his chest.

Iwaizumi didn't want to, but he trusted the person in front of him. Against his better judgment and probably those of his friends, Iwaizumi trusted the prince. He didn't know why. If he thought about it rationally, he hadn't seen Oikawa for over a decade. People change. Oikawa changed. He's no longer the little boy he knew all those years ago. But there was something there, in the warmth and sincerity of his words and actions that made Iwaizumi question whether any time had passed at all.

In this moment, surrounded by the sounds of a settling forest and below the wide expanse of a star dusted sky, Iwaizumi decided that maybe, just maybe, it would be ok to share this with the childhood best friend he had lost and found through strange and cruel twists of fate.

And again, his grandmother's words came to him, _Life is what you make it, but some things demand to happen_. It felt like meeting Oikawa again after thirteen years was something that had been demanding to happen for a while. Making Iwaizumi wonder if it was all just leading up to that moment in that jail cell that caused him to doubt for the first time whether what he was doing was right.

It took Iwaizumi a long time to set what he wanted to say into words and when he did, it was only made up of one sentence. Six small words that held more meaning in them than he felt comfortable sharing.

"I wasn't planning on coming back," Iwaizumi breathed into the night air.

He was unable to look into the mahogany eyes in front of him. Anything Iwaizumi saw in them was bound to make him feel worse. Pity, understanding, sadness, disappointment, disgust. Anything would be so much worse than nothing, so he stared at the ground in front of him, wishing it would open up and swallow him whole.

The fingers tightened on his wrist as the words processed for Oikawa and things slid into place.

The tension hiking his shoulders up on that stone floor. The surprise in his face when Oikawa had offered to bring him back home. The way he had almost demanded to be put to death in that jail cell.

Oikawa's normally sharp wit failed him as he grasped for words to fit into the uncomfortably tight space between them. Nothing worked, everything fell flat even before it crossed his tongue.

A thought occurred to Oikawa that maybe he had misheard, maybe he was overthinking things like always. He lifted his hands to grab at the face in front of him, needing to see his eyes. They would tell him the truth because he was certain now, the words he had heard before made no sense.

Short, black hairs tickled the prince's fingers as he cupped both sides of Iwaizumi's face, tilting it upwards and there it was. The distress, the shame, the anguish in those green eyes told Oikawa everything he needed to know and he fought for breath because his lungs lay useless in his chest, paralyzed with a sudden wave of fear.

"N-no. Why would y-? What-?" Oikawa felt himself speaking, failing to complete full sentences.

Iwaizumi reached up to pull the hands off his face. It was too much. Everything was overwhelming. The gentle look on Oikawa's face, the way his hands felt cool against his burning face, even the way his voice wavered in the night, splintering around the edges. It was all too much and Iwaizumi needed a moment to breathe. Slow his heart rate.

Oikawa released his face only to grip the hand that had pulled him off, grasping it tightly in both of his. Oikawa looked down and felt a small tremor in the normally steady hand in his.

Was this real?

The prince ran through all the things he remembered about Iwaizumi from their childhood. His favorite food was some boring fried tofu, he sucks at drawing, he's always been stronger than Oikawa in nearly everything, he hates to lose, he never thinks things through.

Never thinks things through.

And he could have lost him without ever knowing.

Oikawa paused at that one and through his fear, he felt a familiar spark of frustration and anger that only Iwaizumi could bring out in him. Letting the anger build was effortless and Oikawa allowed it more leeway than he probably should have as he opened his mouth.

"Do you have any idea how close you were to not making it?" Oikawa felt his voice cut across his tongue before he had a chance to think them over, "What would've happened if Yahaba hadn't come got me? They would have killed you!" He was gripping the hand in front of him almost painfully hard now as he stared at the raven.

The sharpened voice made Iwaizumi recoil in surprise. A shameful feeling of relief flitted through him. This was better, the anger almost comfortable to Iwaizumi now. More comfortable than the twisted mess before. Iwaizumi seized the opportunity to snap back with his own anger.

"That was the fucking point!" Iwaizumi barked back, "You want some sort of praise to stroke your ego, then you can fuck off because I never asked for your help."

Oikawa's hands fell slack and Iwaizumi took the opportunity to rip his arm from his grasp. Stumbling back, Iwaizumi's back hit a tree and he hissed as it bumped into his shoulder blade.

Oikawa jerked forward, snapping out of the shock Iwaizumi's words had put him in.

"Wait, please!" Oikawa cried, feeling ashamed of how he had let his fear push him into anger, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. Just talk to me, let me understand."

"How could you possibly understand?!" Iwaizumi cut himself off as his voice rose, threatening to call attention to themselves. He continued as he lowered his voice.

"You sit up there in your castle, surrounded by your pampered people telling you how great you are, such a golden boy, such a treasure," Iwaizumi mocked, jabbing a finger into Oikawa's chest.

"None of you know how fast a whole town can burn down. None of you know how hard a child can cry when they have nothing left. You don't know what it's like to see your people being slowly whittled away into husks of human beings."

Iwaizumi reached up to shove his fingers into his jet black hair, feeling his voice cracking in the night air, "I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to do something. Something to make our people decide they've had enough and fight back," Iwaizumi slammed a clenched fist against the cutting bark, startling Oikawa in front of him.

Still gripping the tree, Iwaizumi slowly slid to his knees, his voice coming out softer as he continued, talking mostly to himself now, "I really thought I could do it. After everything my people have been through, I really thought I could handle this one thing for them," his hand threaded again through his short black hair, pulling on the strands.

"I guess I failed them again," he whispered.

Oikawa stood, frozen in place. A lot of…everything had just been thrown at him.

What did Iwaizumi mean when he said they were being whittled away? He wants them to fight back? Against who?

It couldn't be Aoba Johsai, his father had given everyone strict instructions to take no offensive actions unless told to. The prince had been there when he had made that announcement.

So why come here? Why did it need to be him?

A never-ending parade of thoughts and questions danced through Oikawa's mind, enough to make him dizzy.

Oikawa went to his knees in front of Iwaizumi, breathing a sigh of relief when the raven didn't even acknowledge the movement.

Once again, Oikawa tried to find something to say. Something to help.

"You haven't failed them," Oikawa murmured, grateful when Iwaizumi glanced over at him, "I know I don't know a lot of your people back home, but I can see just how relieved your friends over there are to see you. Hell, they're even putting up with Maki's awful personality," Oikawa flashed a small smile.

Iwaizumi's face pinched, he couldn't stand such kindness from the foreign prince.

"Just stop. Please," Iwaizumi breathed, shutting his eyes. Maybe if he couldn't see the person in front of him, he could convince himself no one was there.

Oikawa's eyebrows furrowed, "Stop what?"

"This," Iwaizumi gestured between the two of them, "Trying to make me feel better. You're the last person I want to comfort me right now."

"Oh," Oikawa sat back, realizing he had been unconsciously leaning towards Iwaizumi while they talked.

Well, this pain was new, Oikawa thought as he fiddled with his fingers in his lap, trying to draw attention from the pinch in his chest.

"I could go get Matsukawa, if you want, I think I know where he's at," Oikawa mumbled, pushing himself to his feet before Iwaizumi could see the look on his face.

A hand shot out and gripped Oikawa's wrist, keeping him in place.

"No. Don't," Iwaizumi looked at his hand in surprise and pulled it back to fall in his lap, "I'm fine, just give me a minute."

Oikawa nodded and hesitated only a moment before sitting back down, this time beside Iwaizumi.

They both leaned with their backs against the tree for several, long minutes where the only noises were the sounds of the forest at night. Tree leaves rustled above them, crickets announced themselves in a near constant chirp, and if they listened close enough, they could hear the snuffles from small animals.

"You ever hear about the voice of the forest?" Oikawa asked, eyes never leaving the leafy canopy above them.

Iwaizumi glanced over, surprised at the turn in conversation almost as much as the fact that the prince even knew about that legend.

"My grandmother would tell me stories about it, yeah," Iwaizumi hummed, fingering the metal on his wrist.

"Well," Oikawa raised a hand to run sheepishly through his soft, brown hair, "when I was a kid, I thought I heard it."

Iwaizumi jerked his head to look at Oikawa, sure he'd find the ever-present tease in his eyes, only to be met with a slight blush and fidgeting fingers.

"When?" Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa huffed an awkward laugh, "It was actually the day I met you, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi busied himself with the bandages on his arms, mumbling, "We were like, six, Shittykawa. You could've heard anything and thought it was a voice."

Oikawa hummed, not wanting to tell Iwaizumi just how sure he was that he had heard the light, musical voice through the trees that night. How often he thought about that day.

******

_Tooru had been so excited when his father told him he was joining the hunting party. So excited, he couldn't sleep all night and even forgot to eat his breakfast that morning._

_His small legs bounced against either side of the horse as he waited patiently for the rest of the group. His father had even given Tooru his own horse for the hunt and the little boy was practically glowing with pride._

_Everyone was smiling at him and commenting on just how grown up he was acting. Tooru smiled back._

_Adults were much easier to handle than kids his own age. Adults didn't cry and call him mean when Tooru said he didn't want to play with them. It was easy to make the adults happy, all Tooru had to do was sit still and smile at them while they cooed at how well behaved he was. It was easy enough to figure out and Tooru decided that he liked seeing other people smile at him and praise him. It was his peers that Tooru couldn't seem to understand._

_They're moods seemed so fickle. Tooru sat still and smiled just how the adults wanted, but kids apparently found that weird and made fun of him. When he tried to join in on their fun, he didn't understand their games and no one had the patience to explain it to him, so they left him behind._

_Yes, grown-ups were much easier._

_Which was how he found himself in the middle of the woods, a small bow and quiver strapped to his back. His father told him to stick close and not wander too far from the main group and Tooru nodded his understanding, promising he wouldn't._

_Until he saw what looked like a small deer dash off to the side. Tooru jumped from his horse and ran after it, sure the others had spotted it as well and were following close behind._

_His footfalls were loud and clumsy as he raced to where he had seen the flash of deer. Tooru spotted it again, farther out and ran harder to catch up, his breath coming faster now and he giggled, loving the odd chase._

_It wasn't until Tooru stopped to catch his breath that he realized no one was behind him. He tried to listen through the overwhelming beating of his heart in his chest._

_No footfalls. No one yelling his name. No sounds but the rustling of the forest._

_"Father?!" Tooru yelled into the brush._

_No one responded and Tooru felt himself panic._

_"Father?!" He screamed again._

_It was his own fault, Tooru decided, even as his lungs spasmed and his vision became fuzzy. His father had told him to stick close and he hadn't listened. Grown-ups knew best. Of course they did._

_Tooru was suddenly very afraid of his surroundings, every rock was a twisted monster. Every leaf danced, laughing at him. Every sound was his inevitable doom._

_Tooru fell to his knees, clutching at his face and hair, trying to pull himself together and think. Think, think, think._

_'Tooru,'_

_The little boy snapped his head up at the unfamiliar voice, quickly wiping away the snot and tears from his face. Adults didn't like messes._

_"Hello?" Tooru called out, small voice wavering as he sniffled._

_'Come,'_

_Tooru's head turned in the direction the voice was coming from, but didn't see anyone. He hesitated thinking it wasn't a good idea to follow an unfamiliar voice deeper into the woods. Tooru recalled his father's advisors talking about the 'savages' that lived in the forest. Tooru didn't know what that word meant, but he could tell it was nothing good just from the way the men said it._

_"No," Tooru whispered._

_Tooru thought he heard a sigh through the trees, but it could've just been the wind._

_'Your friend is waiting, Tooru,'_

_Tooru pulled his mouth into a frown. His friend? He didn't have any friends. There were the adults that smiled at him and chuckled when he said funny things. And there were the kids of his father's friends, who only played with him because they wanted to brag and tell everyone they met the prince. None of them Tooru would consider a friend. He knew what that word was supposed to mean._

_"You're lying," Tooru whined at the trees._

_'I'm not,'_

_Tooru chewed on his lip and pulled absently at the bottom of his jacket._

_"Ok," he whispered, slowly moving towards the voice. He decided he could always run away if he didn't like where he was going, so he let the voice guide him through the trees._

_After tripping a few too many times, Tooru could only scowl down at the ground to keep himself upright as he moved over the roots and around bushes. He was so focused on where to put his next step, he didn't realize he wasn't alone until a small hand pressed into his chest, making him fall flat on his butt._

_"Hey!" Tooru shouted, crossing his arms in front of him to hide just how much he'd been startled._

_"Who are you?" An unfamiliar little boy asked, towering over Tooru, head cocked to the side as he squatted down to get a better look._

_"I'm the-," Tooru began to snap back when he caught the openly curious gaze of the other. This boy looked at him different than the others did. Other kids looked at Tooru with a blend of jealousy and mockery. He'd always secretly thought the jealousy was due in part to his station, so he faltered before he could finish his sentence._

_The boy raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. He reached out a bandaged finger to poke at Tooru's face, "Hello?"_

_Tooru swatted the hand away, "Tooru. I'm Tooru, ok? Stop poking me," he whined softly, avoiding looking into the bright green of the eyes in front of him._

_"Tooru?" The boy asked, waiting on the other half of his name._

_Tooru stubbornly refused to open his mouth again, pulling up small blades of grass in the silence._

_"Ok," the boy shrugged, offering a hand to help Tooru up, "I'm Iwaizumi Hajime. What are you doing out here, Tooru?"_

_Tooru took the offered hand, feeling himself being pulled to his feet. When he was up, Tooru kicked out at the grass as he shoved his hands in his pockets._

_"I'm lost," Tooru mumbled, focusing on the ground._

_"Oh, you're not from here?" Iwaizumi asked, tilting his head again and looking at the boy with sharp, evergreen eyes. His gaze wondered curiously over the other boy's pale skin, his wide, chocolate brown eyes. They paused on the soft brown strands and Iwaizumi had to resist the odd urge to pet the other boys hair. His small hands fidgeted with the bandages on his fingers._

_That was a weird thought to have and Iwaizumi ignored it._

_Tooru shook his head, answering Iwaizumi's question. He pulled his jacket down again and ran his fingers over the hem, "My father took me out hunting and now I can't find him."_

_Tooru felt his eyes prick with tears and he furiously rubbed his nose in an effort to keep himself from crying in front of this stranger._

_Iwaizumi was quiet for a minute, eyes flickering to the bow still hooked over Tooru's shoulder and the quiver full of arrows._

_"Did they have lots of horses and dogs?" Iwaizumi asked._

_Tooru's eyes lit up and he nodded, grabbing onto the other boy's shoulders, "They did, lots of them. Did you see them? Do you know where they are?"_

_Iwaizumi's face pinched as he was being shaken by the smaller boy. He knocked off the hands holding him._

_"Yeah, yeah. I know where they are. I'll show you, but I'm not getting too close, ok?"_

_Tooru continued nodding, elated to have found someone to help him, not even questioning why the other felt the need for the stipulation._

_Iwaizumi jerked his head, telling Tooru to follow him, frowning at the boy as he watched him trip over his own feet._

_They walked in silence at the beginning, until Tooru decided he didn't like the name Iwaizumi. It felt too long and cumbersome in his mouth._

_Iwaizumi was not a fan of that, insisting it was his name and telling Tooru he refused to answer to anything else. Tooru of course, took that as a challenge and spent the rest of the time trying to find the perfect nickname that made Iwaizumi's face pull down in such a funny looking frown. He settled on Iwa-chan. A silly name for such a serious boy._

_After several minutes of Tooru finding the best way to annoy his new acquaintance, he nearly ran into Iwaizumi's back as he suddenly stopped._

_"Hey-ah!" Tooru almost fell on his butt again, but was pulled up by the small hands gripping his jacket before he even wobbled off balance. Tooru frowned and opened his mouth to tell Iwaizumi he needed to say something when he stopped like that, but then, he heard it._

_There were faint calls in the distance and the sounds of many people shuffling through the forest. He heard his name being called and Tooru's face broke into a relieved grin as he dashed towards the sound._

_"Father!" Tooru called._

_The sounds stopped and began moving towards him now with more energy._

_Tooru clapped his hands and turned to Iwaizumi, who stood there, hands folded across his chest and watching Tooru with an odd look on his face._

_"Iwa-chan! You did it! You found them, thank you!" Tooru crashed into the boy, causing them both to stumble with the force of his hug._

_"Geez, Tooru, I was just doing what I said I would. Get off me, weirdo," Iwaizumi grumbled, shoulders tensing and face turning off to the side._

_Tooru pulled his hands back in on himself and felt his heart sink in his chest. Of course Iwaizumi probably only wanted to show Tooru where to go in order to get him away. Tooru chewed on his lip as he remembered all the other kids calling him weird too. He was either too affectionate, or too dismissive, never able to find the middle ground and now, he messed up, forgetting to regulate his actions, just like his father always told him._

_Iwaizumi was no different from the other kids in the castle, it was silly to think he would be._

_"Yeah," Tooru mumbled, turning away before his stinging eyes betrayed him, "Sorry, I'll go now."_

_Tooru focused on the ground in front of him as he shuffled closer to the sounds crashing through the woods. He heard a sigh behind him and turned to see Iwaizumi picking at the bandages on his fingers._

_"You wanna-," Iwaizumi grumbled, pausing to shift his weight on his feet, "You think it'd be ok to hang out again?" The boy pursed his lips together and stared stubbornly off into the forest, looking ready to bolt any second._

_Tooru's eyes widened. No one ever asked him to spend more time with them before. Not as earnestly as that. Normally they either couldn't wait to get away, never sparing him a second look as they were carted off by their parents, or they were far too clingy, making Tooru feel awkward and uncomfortable._

_No one had ever asked like it was ok for Tooru to actually have an opinion about it._

_Tooru couldn't help the beaming smile that threatened to split his face in half._

_"Yes!" Tooru nodded emphatically, bouncing on the balls of his feet, "Tomorrow we can-,"_

_A particularly loud burst of noises sounded behind Tooru, causing him to jump and look over his shoulder. Turning back, Tooru realized he was all alone, no Iwaizumi in sight._

******

Back in that same forest, Oikawa looked up into the leaves, trying to remember if they were in the same spot or not. He thought they might be too far out now, but the exact location escaped him at the moment.

Oikawa watched the bouncing and waving of the trees above them and hummed, "If it was her, do you think she wanted us to find each other?"

Iwaizumi's fingers fumbled with the cloth of his bandages, feeling his heart beat painfully in his chest. He somehow managed to suck in a breath and answer Oikawa.

"It's just a story. If you heard anything, it was probably a hallucination from eating the wrong shit, like the dumbass kid you were," Iwaizumi grunted into the night.

Oikawa took his eyes off the canopy to look at Iwaizumi in the dark, "So you never heard the voice?"

Iwaizumi smoothed out the bandages, avoiding the quizzical brown eyes, too intelligent for their own good.

"We need to get to sleep. Didn't you say we're supposed to start early tomorrow?" Iwaizumi asked.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa sung softly, "Has anyone ever told you how terrible of a liar you are?"

They had, actually. Iwaizumi grimaced, remembering how he had never been able to get away with anything as a kid. Whenever his parents scolded him for lying, his grandmother would always pat his head and smile, saying his honest face was a blessing, a sign of a truly kind heart.

Right now though, it felt more like a curse.

Iwaizumi sighed, was he ever going to be able to keep his thoughts to himself again with this man around?

"Ok, fine," Iwaizumi grumbled, glaring at Oikawa, "I thought I heard it once, but that's all I'm telling you. Now, can we please go to sleep?"

Oikawa's face brightened at the admission, unbothered by the lack of details, "Yeah, sure! I set your stuff up next to mine," the brunette stood, dusting himself off and offering a hand to Iwaizumi, "I'll show you where."

Iwaizumi took the offered hand, but stayed in place as Oikawa turned to head back into camp.

"Actually," Iwaizumi cleared his throat, making Oikawa stop and turn back, "I was thinking it might be best if I stayed with Matsun and them."

It made sense. Iwaizumi had only stayed with the people from Aoba Johsai because he had to. It would seem off if he didn't go back to his people like they expected.

So why did it hurt to say it?

Oikawa tried to keep his face in the same polite smile as he nodded, "Yeah, no, that makes sense," Oikawa huffed a small, awkward laugh, "I don't know why I thought you'd stay with us."

Iwaizumi ignored the obviously fake smile for once and pretended to accept it as he brushed past Oikawa. He walked a few steps before stopping, feeling Oikawa watching him as he turned back, face hidden in the shadows of the trees.

Oikawa watched as Iwaizumi clenched his fist and knocked it thoughtfully into the tree next to him.

"Thank you," Iwaizumi whispered, barely loud enough for Oikawa to hear with the distance between them, "For listening."

Oikawa felt his face flush and he awkwardly grinned pulling at his fingers in front of him, "Thank you for telling me."

Iwaizumi jerked his head in a small nod and disappeared into the forest in search of the Seijoh camp.

Oikawa stared after him for a while, long after his silhouette had melded with the shadows. Mentally shaking himself, he returned back to his place in front of the fire next to Hanamaki, who was too busy swapping snide comments with Matsukawa to see the troubled look in his prince's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, that flash back was totally unplanned, it just hit me that I'd had their meeting in my head for so long and even with around 8 chapters down, I still had yet to find a way to slide it in. It suddenly hit me like a train that now would've been the perfect time, even if it did kind of make this chapter a little long. Oh well, hopefully it was worth it.
> 
> Ok, I may have went a little overboard in the feelings department with this one, but talks about suicide are very near and dear to my heart. Being someone who once struggled with those thoughts, all it took was talking to the right person about it to make me realize how wrong I was. Now, I know everyone's situation is different and I'm by NO means an expert, but I think just talking about it, putting words to the thoughts and feelings are the most important thing. It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't need to be dramatic. Sometimes it just needs to be said.
> 
> There are so many resources out there, you can even text the hotline if you're not comfortable talking in person. Please don't give in.
> 
> 1-800-273-8255
> 
> So sorry for all the feels! I need a break real quick, maybe eat some pizza or something. This took a lot more out of me than I expected.
> 
> Stay strong, stay safe! Love you guys!! And don't worry, I'll be back, I've already got the next couple chapters typed up, I'm just suffering real hard from perfectionism. You have no idea how many times I need to re-read this shit, I could probably recite it verbatim now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, you guys ready for some action? Finally, right?
> 
> No flashbacks this chapter =( but hopefully next one will make up for it ^_^
> 
> I'm not gonna lie, I've rewrote this thing about four times now and I'm thinking this is as good as it's going to get. It could definitely be better and I might come back and change some things the deeper I get into the story, but for now, I might have to settle. We all might have to settle haha.

The next day, the two groups, though separated by the forest, both woke before the sun peeked through the trees. It was eerily silent as they packed up their things and set out again to pick their way towards Seijoh.

Iwaizumi's group stayed in front, leading Oikawa and his people throughout the day. Oikawa watched Iwaizumi's broad back as he directed both the horse and his people one-handed. Was there some sort of telepathic link between all of them or was it just the ease of being around the people you had known since birth?

Oikawa continued to watch as all of Seijoh automatically deferred to Iwaizumi, seemingly comfortable with his presence and, not for the first time, Oikawa wondered what they would have been like without his steady hand.

The blonde one with two black streaks in his hair, for sure, would have been a handful, Oikawa thought, watching Kyōtani snarl at Yahaba like a wild animal.

To his credit, Yahaba seemed as pissed off as Kyōtani was, curling his lip right back at the intimidating man.

Yahaba caught Oikawa's eye and straightened up, ignoring Kyōtani for the next few minutes.

Oikawa chuckled to himself. It was good seeing Yahaba find his backbone sometimes.

Even with Yahaba and Kyōtani snapping at each other every chance they got, the two groups slowly warmed up to each other over the next couple weeks. Conversations around the fire that had once felt forced, became easy and fluid.

Oikawa never found himself alone with Iwaizumi after that first night, so the prince had to rely on his powers of observation to determine his wellbeing.

Iwaizumi's arm didn't appear in bandages after about a week. Oikawa would often find him stretching and massaging the appendage throughout the day. It looked like it hurt him less and less every day. Oikawa was grateful.

He was also busy, spending every waking moment he wasn't riding with either Hanamaki, pouring over books and maps, or he spent it with Kunimi and Yahaba, working them and himself to the bone until they all dropped like rocks around the fire at night. Kunimi flaked about as often as he joined in, but Yahaba's enthusiasm more than made up for it most nights and Oikawa was grateful to the younger for letting him ease the buzzing in his body with the rounds of sparring.

Three weeks into their journey, Iwaizumi decided it was time to talk about the next four to five weeks ahead of them.

"We're going to work out a schedule to have someone on watch while we sleep," Iwaizumi sat beside the fire, stirring it. A thought seemed to occur to him and he added, "No more fires after tonight."

Iwaizumi had run the basics by Oikawa before, so the brunette had no objections, but the same couldn't be said for Hanamaki.

"So we're all just supposed to freeze our dicks off every night?" Hanamaki leaned forward resting his arms on his knees, "I don't know about you guys, but I'm quite attached to mine."

Oikawa pursed his lips beside the pink-haired man, but remained silent. Hanamaki wasn't a soldier like Yahaba and Kunimi, he'd been brought up in the castle, learning how to read and write while the others endured more physical kinds of hardships. Not that he was soft, he just liked to be difficult sometimes.

Oikawa had warned Iwaizumi that it would be up to him to convince Hanamaki. The good news being once he managed to get Hanamaki on board, the rest were sure to follow. The bad news was that Oikawa would be no help and Hanamaki was notoriously brutal in arguments.

Iwaizumi watched Hanamaki carefully over the fire. From what he had noticed about the man, he was exceptionally bright, almost rivaling Oikawa in intelligence, but his motivations escaped Iwaizumi completely. Sometimes it seemed like Hanamaki was only arguing for the sake of it. Picking fights when he had no personal stake in the matter. People with no motivations except controversy were difficult to reason with.

"Fires attract attention," Iwaizumi stated.

"Are you _not_ expecting a welcome home party?" Hanamaki asked sarcastically, tilting his head, "Seems like the least we can do for them is make it easier to find us."

"We're not starting fires," Iwaizumi was at a genuine loss for how to approach him. He looked over to see Matsukawa staring at him with raised eyebrows. The taller man tilted his head towards Hanamaki and Iwaizumi made a motion that translated to _'By all means.'_

Matsukawa turned and smiled across the flames, "You think just because we grew up here, we know everyone, right? So you know all the people in Aoba Johsai?"

Hanamaki's lips turned down, "Of course not. But at least I know we'd have no problem traveling through Aoba Johsai with fires."

"Ah, but you're not in Aoba Johsai anymore, right? Not after tonight," Matsukawa was enjoying this a little too much.

"So, no fires and round the clock watches?" Hanamaki sat back, arms crossed over his chest, "Sounds like we're supposed to be on the lookout for some unpleasant people."

"And so what if we are? That a problem?" Matsukawa asked.

"I'd like to know who we're looking out for," Hanamaki narrowed his eyes at the taller raven.

"People that aren't us," Matsukawa grinned lazily.

Hanamaki huffed, "If I'm sleeping with a frost covered dick, I want to know why."

Matsukawa looked just a little too happy to respond and before he could say what Iwaizumi was almost positive was going to be something like, 'I'll show you a frost covered dick,' or even worse, 'Let me warm it up for you,' Iwaizumi panicked and interrupted.

"Bandits!" Everyone looked at him and Iwaizumi coughed in his hands to cover the slight flush, "There are bandits along the borders. It's just better to not let them know we're here."

Matsukawa snickered a little too hard for Iwaizumi's liking and nodded at Hanamaki, "The bandits around here give us a few problems sometimes."

Hanamaki's eyes narrowed at the pair across the fire. There was something else too, he could almost sense it. It escaped his grasp before it could even fully form into a thought, so he frowned.

"Why not go through towns? All the maps show several main roads with towns spaced less than a day apart. We'd only need to make it to the next one and sleep in their inn. Fire problem solved right?" Hanamaki asked.

Matsukawa glanced briefly at Iwaizumi before smiling again, "Sorry, no can do. Towns around here are extremely small. No one really travels through, so there's no inns to speak of."

Hanamaki furrowed his brow, "There's not one good Samaritan willing to set us up for a night?"

"Not a single one," Matsukawa chuckled.

Hanamaki shot the both of them a nasty glare that told them he didn't believe that for a second, and turned to Oikawa, "You want to weigh in on this, your highness?"

Oikawa raised his eyebrows, "Oh, no. If Iwa-chan says it's the best course of action, I believe him," the prince threw a wink across the fire where Iwaizumi ignored him, and odd look on his face as he paid a little too much attention to the flames.

Hanamaki lowered his voice so the others couldn't hear him and leaned farther into Oikawa's ear, "Sir, you can't be serious. There's something they're not telling us and I know you feel it too."

"Maki-chan," Oikawa tsked, "while I appreciate the blind faith you have in my people reading skills, I regret to inform you that I don't share your skepticism."

"Don't give me that diplomatic bullshit," Hanamaki snapped, "Tell me why. Give me one good reason why I should trust them as they lead us deeper and deeper into these woods."

Oikawa tilted his head to look at the man next to him, surprised at the seriousness in his voice.

"Maki, to be perfectly honest, I can't think of one good reason," Oikawa grinned at the look of shock on the pink-haired man's face, "Though, if you'll settle for an adequate reason, I'd tell you it's because I just _feel_ it, you know?"

Hanamaki's face soured, "That's a fucking terrible reason."

"You're probably right," Oikawa laughed, "So how about it?"

Hanamaki looked miserably across the fire and back at Oikawa. He knew he'd regret this the closer they got to winter, but screw it. If worst came to worst, he could always skin Oikawa and make him into a blanket.

"Fine," Hanamaki grumbled, shrugging and crossing his arms over his chest.

Iwaizumi looked relieved and glanced over at Oikawa, wondering what he said to make Hanamaki change his mind.

"Actually," Iwaizumi cleared his throat, now that the hard part was over, he just needed to iron out a few details, "In addition to the watch at night, while we're traveling throughout the day, I want Kindaichi and Watari to keep in the back and watch out for anyone following us."

The two nodded their understanding and Oikawa spoke up, adding, "Kunimi, I want you back there with them."

Kunimi sighed softly, but otherwise, voiced no objections to the new arrangement.

Iwaizumi nodded around the fire and spread his hands, "Well, that's all I have for now. Just remember, you're not in Aoba Johsai anymore," he gave Hanamaki a pointed look that the pink-haired man ignored, "Don't be running off and stick close to us."

"Real close," Matsukawa snickered, throwing a gross wink towards Hanamaki.

Hanamaki scoffed, but Iwaizumi was stunned that he'd even responded.

Iwaizumi sighed, this was supposed to be serious. Leave it to Matsukawa to make light of their situation. Iwaizumi looked up to find Oikawa watching him, no humor on his face.

Well, maybe one person was taking this seriously.

******

Another week passed and Iwaizumi led them to a large river. Both groups paused, giving their horses and themselves a small break while Iwaizumi conferred with Matsukawa.

Oikawa watched a worried crease appear on Iwaizumi's forehead as Matsukawa shrugged and gestured towards the river. Iwaizumi ran a hand through his hair before turning to address the rest of them.

"Ok, so there used to be an old bridge here, but it looks like it was torn down," he glanced back, looking farther down the moving water, "There's a shallow portion of the river just before the rapids, but the current is extremely strong. What do you guys think?"

Hanamaki, Yahaba, and Kunimi all gave three different variations of a shrug before looking back to Oikawa.

Oikawa smiled and gestured to Iwaizumi, "Lead on, Iwa-chan. Whatever you think is best."

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at the prince. He'd noticed Oikawa being more and more docile and agreeable throughout their journey. Maybe it was just Iwaizumi reading too much into it, but this version of Oikawa didn't fit with any memories he had of him. It set Iwaizumi on edge.

"Ok, well," Iwaizumi cleared his throat, "The rapids are pretty loud down there. We're going to have to lead the horses so they don't get spooked, which means we'll be in freezing water up to our waists for a while. Whoever goes first needs to start looking for a covered place to build a fire so we can dry out our clothes."

As Iwaizumi lead them to the place they were to make their crossing, they decided to cross two at a time, with the exception of the first group. Matsukawa, Hanamaki, and Watari were to be the first ones across since Matsukawa and Watari knew the best places to start a fire and Hanamaki just wanted to get this over with.

Yahaba and Kyōtani, surprisingly, decided to go next. A collective thought briefly crossed everyone's mind that this could be the moment one of them finally snaps and sends the other to their doom. Both men's faces greatly discouraged any questions, so they all left it alone.

Iwaizumi caught Matsukawa and Hanamaki snickering to themselves and placing bets on who would be taking a frigid trip down the rapids before the day was done. He lightly cuffed Matsukawa on the back of the head and both men grinned sheepishly at him.

Next was Kindaichi and Kunimi. Kunimi had wanted to go last, but one look from Oikawa told him that was definitely not going to happen.

All that left Oikawa and Iwaizumi being the last ones to cross, bringing up the rear and making sure everyone got across safely.

Oikawa busied himself rearranging the saddlebags on his mount for the fourth time, making sure he strapped his sword up high on the horse where the water wouldn't touch it. If he adjusted everything one more time, maybe he wouldn't have to think about just how damn cold this water was going to be.

Oikawa grumbled to himself and sighed as he took off the strap around his ankle carrying a small dagger to place it on the horse as well. Water and metal didn't mix so well and he needed his hands for the horse. Iwaizumi caught his eye and raised an eyebrow at the concealed weapon. Oikawa smiled at him.

"You thought you were the only one with two kinds of weapons, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa teased lightly.

Iwaizumi huffed, "Nope, just surprised you haven't tripped and accidentally stabbed yourself with it yet."

Oikawa laughed, "I couldn't even if I tried. I'm just too graceful now, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi hummed in response, pulling his own axe from its place on his hip and securing it high on the saddle. He left his daggers where they would be safe, under his arms.

Both Oikawa and Iwaizumi watched as their people made it across. Hanamaki only briefly slipping and going under before Matsukawa reached in and pulled him out. Oikawa could hear Hanamaki's teeth clacking and gasping curses over the rush of the rapids next to them.

It became their turn and Oikawa tried not to look too miserable as his legs were dunked in ice cold, rushing water. He felt the current pulling at his legs, threatening to topple him over at the first sign of hesitation. Oikawa gasped as the water moved over his knees and above his hips, giving the current more places to claw at.

Oikawa looked over to see how well Iwaizumi was handling the frigid tug-of-war. Iwaizumi wasn't much better, but he did manage to keep his complaints to himself as they waded to the halfway point.

Iwaizumi wasn't sure why he did it, but in the middle of the river, he turned to look at the bank they had just left. The raven hesitated, his trained, olive eyes catching something his brain was still in the process of thinking out. Call it instinct or maybe just years of obsessing over the one time in his life Iwaizumi hadn't listened hard enough to his gut feelings. Whatever it was, moved Iwaizumi's body before his brain had a chance to process the situation.

Pushing against the current, Iwaizumi threw himself across an oblivious Oikawa, just in time to feel a sharp stabbing sensation lock itself deep in his back. The weight of his body pulled them both under the rushing water where they lost their footing and were quickly swept down river.

Iwaizumi surfaced, still clinging to a sputtering Oikawa and hearing Kyōtani's shouts over the rushing of the water.

"What the fu-?" Oikawa tried to pull against the current and separate himself from Iwaizumi's heavy grasp.

Iwaizumi only gripped him harder, gasping out through the sudden and drastic temperature change, "Keep quiet."

Iwaizumi wanted nothing more than to shout for his people across the river, but he'd lost sight of whoever was on the opposite bank long ago and didn't want to risk calling attention to their defenseless state. He just hoped the horses got out ok.

Oikawa tried to spit back a quick, 'Fuck you,' but the pair of them were being tossed hard by the current and it took all his concentration not to be smashed into the rocks. He could feel rocks scrape his numb legs, cutting through his pants, one even narrowly missing his face as they tumbled down the river.

Iwaizumi's grip grew loose around Oikawa's waist and the brunette spared a quick glance back to see Iwaizumi's face slack and barely above the water level. Panic gripped his already adrenaline soaked chest and Oikawa reached out to pull him closer.

Consciousness flickered across Iwaizumi's face as he grabbed clumsily at Oikawa's arms. He opened his mouth and mumbled something against Oikawa's frozen shoulder before both their heads were pulled underwater.

Surfacing and coughing up nearly half his weight in river water, Oikawa shook the water from his eyes and tried to shout over the sounds of the rapids. Were the rapids always this loud?

"What?!" Oikawa hacked, doing his best to keep both of their heads above the frothing water.

Oikawa bent his face until he felt Iwaizumi whisper into his ear, "Waterfall."

Oikawa looked up and saw it, the end of everything. Where there should've been more of something, anything. More trees to the sides, more hateful, churning water, now there was only sky. The place where the world just dropped.

A new surge of adrenaline flooded Oikawa's ice cold limbs and he renewed his struggles against the unforgiving current. He gasped and coughed up water as they both grew steadily closer to the edge.

If he could just grab onto a rock, any rock would do. If he could just stop his feet from sliding against the pebbled, algae covered bottom. If Iwaizumi wasn't over 170lbs of dead weight, maybe they both could reach the shore.

With only a few feet left between them and the edge, the current pulling them as if it had a mind of its own, Oikawa gave up trying to get to the other side. Oikawa buried his face in Iwaizumi's neck, bringing his hand to cup the back of the raven's head, making sure to hold it in place as everything disappeared except gravity.

The fall felt like it happened in slow motion. Oikawa squinted against the spray of the water as they fell with the river. Water droplets shone in the sun, looking like a shower of fallen stars in broad daylight. It would've been beautiful, if Oikawa didn't know what awaited them at the bottom.

They slammed into the pool of water, with the full force of the river pushing them down and threatening to tear them apart. Oikawa felt his numb fingers dig into Iwaizumi, probably leaving bruises, but he didn't care. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that if he let go right now, he'd never see Iwaizumi again.

Lungs burning without access to oxygen, Oikawa gritted his teeth and pushed against the current, pulling Iwaizumi with everything he had until, miraculously, both their heads breached the surface. Oikawa gulped in the cold, damp air like a man starved and began hauling both of them into the mud on the bank.

Oikawa pulled Iwaizumi until they both lay on their sides in the cold, squelching mud. Oikawa couldn't even find it in himself to care about the mud caking an entire side of his body. His arms and legs shook from exhaustion and the frigid temperature. Oikawa craned his head to look up at the top of the waterfall. Deciding he had depleted all the luck he had in life just surviving that fall, Oikawa groaned and pulled himself up, touching his cuts and bruises tenderly.

With his brow furrowed and mouth open to berate Iwaizumi for being such a dumbass, Oikawa turned around to see the raven had yet to move from where Oikawa had dropped him. His normally tanned face was pale, eyes closed, and his lips looked almost blue.

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked quietly over the sound of the waterfall, with no response his voice went up an octave in alarm, "Iwa-chan?!"

Oikawa scrambled next to Iwaizumi and noticed for the first time that there was an arrow sticking out of his back. Oikawa threw another frantic look behind them, this time looking out for anyone following them. He grunted and pulled Iwaizumi's heavy body deeper into the cover of the trees.

Panting with the exertion and muscles shivering with the cool air, Oikawa fumbled with Iwaizumi's weapon harness and shirt, needing to get a better look at the injury.

"Shit, shit, shit," a ceaseless chant of curses fell from his trembling lips as Oikawa finally worked off both articles and dropped them, soaked to the ground.

Oikawa pushed his sopping hair from his eyes and pulled experimentally at the shaft of the arrow. It moved, making Oikawa certain it wasn't lodged in a bone. That fact comforted him only slightly.

Pulling one of Iwaizumi's daggers from its sheath, Oikawa gently began enlarging the wound in order to pull it out. With one hand lightly pulling the arrow and the other digging around in the wound, Oikawa didn't have an extra hand for when Iwaizumi came jerking back to consciousness.

The back under him convulsed, like it was trying to knock him off and Oikawa barely managed to keep the dagger from stabbing even deeper.

Oikawa placed a knee on one side of Iwaizumi's back and hissed down at him, "You have to stay still. I'm trying to get this out without causing any more damage than necessary."

At the sound of Oikawa's voice, Iwaizumi stopped struggling, turning his head to the side so the prince could get a look at clenched teeth and a creased brow.

"Hurry up and get it out," Iwaizumi grunted.

Flicking a wet strand of hair from his eyes, Oikawa glanced down, grumbling, "What does it look like I'm doing, Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi gasped in pain at a particularly harsh stab and shot the brunette a lethal glare, blinking at the effort it took to just lift his gaze. A sudden, unnatural wave of exhaustion swept over him and Iwaizumi struggled to keep his eyes open.

"Something's not right," Iwaizumi mumbled, so softly Oikawa almost didn't catch it.

"What's wrong?" Oikawa's voice sounded strained and he renewed his attempts to get the arrow out.

"Mmm fuckin' tired," Iwaizumi took a shuddering breath and tried to move his fingers, "Can't move," he whispered in a dull, detached kind of way.

Oikawa's heart rate picked up and finally freed the offending arrow, tossing it aside to press down on the wound to keep it from bleeding out.

"Fuck," Oikawa cursed, "I don't have anything dry to wrap it."

"Leave it," Iwaizumi mumbled, "Need to move. Now."

Oikawa glanced up at the forest around them and back down to cloudy, olive eyes. Something wasn't right. Iwaizumi wasn't nearly as alert as he should've been. Oikawa ran his fingers through Iwaizumi's short, black hair, feeling for a lump or gash, something to explain his haziness. Nothing.

Oikawa frowned, there was no wound on Iwaizumi that Oikawa himself hadn't suffered going over the waterfall with him. His brown eyes looked down at the arrow wound slowly leaking dark red blood.

"Hey," Oikawa pulled Iwaizumi up to grip his chin and make him look at the prince, "Hey, are you drugged?"

Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa as if he'd just asked him if his skin was green. What kind of question was that? One slow blink later and Iwaizumi revised his thoughts. Maybe he was. It would make sense, the last arrow aimed at Oikawa over thirteen years ago had poison on it, but this time was different. It felt like he was struggling to breathe.

"Yeah," Iwaizumi gasped out.

Oikawa cursed and ran a hand through his hair, looking around the forest once more, coming up with no ideas, he looked helplessly down at Iwaizumi.

"What do I do?" Oikawa asked softly.

Iwaizumi realized now he couldn't move his hands, he turned his head to laboriously gesture with his chin, "Cave. Rock wall."

Oikawa nodded, gathering up Iwaizumi's shirt and weapons before picking up the man himself. Well, sort of. One arm draped heavily across Oikawa's shoulders and Oikawa wound an arm around Iwaizumi's waist, pulling him along the rock wall he had indicated.

Oikawa noticed Iwaizumi getting heavier the more they walked and looked over to see the raven blinking slowly and lolling his head to the side.

Oikawa shook him awake and asked, "Are we close?"

"Mmmmmm?"

"The cave, Iwa-chan, are we close? C'mon, lazy bones, open your eyes. Now's not the time for a nap," Oikawa chattered nervously.

Iwaizumi pushed his eyes open again with great effort and lifted his arm awkwardly to gesture along the cliff wall covered in vegetation before slumping over into Oikawa.

The brunette cursed and maneuvered him to drape more fully across his back. Stumbling with the extra weight, Oikawa ran a hand desperately across the stone, hoping for something to give way and tell him they were in the right place. He almost cried with relief when he found an opening hidden by a wall of ivy.

Pushing the curtain aside, Oikawa pulled the both of them into the cave, crashing down on the ground in a heap.

It wasn't as dark as Oikawa thought it would be in the cavern. He looked up, surprised to see the top of the cave was open to the sky. At least they were out of the biting wind. Oikawa tried and failed to suppress a shiver as the cold soaked through his damp clothes and iced over his bones.

Sliding out from under Iwaizumi's limp arm, Oikawa reached back to feel the other's forehead. It wasn't unnaturally warm, so that was a good sign, but his cheeks felt so cold, even against Oikawa's trembling fingers.

Standing up, Oikawa left the cave to find wood for a fire, wishing desperately he knew how to find Hanamaki. He would know how to help Iwaizumi.

******

With the fire lit and well taken care of, Oikawa moved Iwaizumi's limp body closer to the heat source.

Oikawa had found a patch of moss on his way back to the cave and placed it over the arrow wound in Iwaizumi's back. It wasn't perfect, but it would keep the blood in and it was weirdly cleaner than either of their clothes, soaked with river water. He cut a small strip off the bottom of his shirt and used it to secure the moss to Iwaizumi's back.

A thought crossed Oikawa's mind that it might be better if he pulled off their cold, damp clothes to warm their bodies faster, but Oikawa was positive that Iwaizumi would rather freeze to death than have Oikawa see him like that. He debated with himself over it for a while later, but ultimately decided against it.

What he did do was pull his own shirt off to lay beside Iwaizumi's next to the fire. If he couldn't have dry underwear, he was definitely going to have a dry shirt.

Hours passed and Oikawa watched as the sky above them changed, giving it a slight pinkish hue. Oikawa finally deemed his and Iwaizumi's shirts dry enough to slide back on. As he was putting Iwaizumi's unconscious body back into his shirt, he took a moment to check his forehead again. Still no sign of a fever, but something prickled in the back of his mind.

Worry gnawed at the inside of Oikawa's stomach as he remembered Iwaizumi admitting that he might have been drugged. It had been so slow, his breathing seemed so labored.

Oikawa watched Iwaizumi's chest rise and fall in the firelight. Was it slower than it had been?

Oikawa looked closer, moving in to get a better look.

His breathing was definitely slower than before.

Oikawa panicked, pulling the raven's head into his lap, shaking it lightly.

"Iwa! Iwa wake up!" Nothing from the unconscious man, his head slumping against Oikawa's hands, "Iwaizumi, please!"

A new kind of horror gripped Oikawa, one where Iwaizumi's breathing slowed until it finally stopped.

What if he never woke up again? What if Oikawa never saw those piercing green eyes again? Would he ever see the way they looked set above that dull pink tinge his cheeks got when he was flustered?

Oikawa cradled the head in his lap and bent over it, whispering into the silence, "What do I do, Iwaizumi? What do I do?"

Oikawa's mind went into overdrive, thoughts blurring as they sped through his brain. Their clothes were relatively dry now, it should be ok to move through the forest without fear of hypothermia. There might still be people out there looking for them, if that arrow he'd pulled out of Iwaizumi's back was anything to go by. Was it the bandits they were told about?

No, it didn't sound like any bandits he'd ever heard of. One single arrow shot? Unlikely.

So, if it wasn't bandits, Oikawa was at a loss at what they were. He'd just have to hope none of them stuck around and moved on to a different spot if they were still searching for them.

The thought that there might be people looking for them caused Oikawa some small amount of hesitation. How was he supposed to find Hanamaki carrying Iwaizumi through a forest and up a steep rock wall?

Oikawa couldn't scale a wall like that.

Think Oikawa, think. Oikawa shut his eyes.

Maps.

Oikawa opened his eyes.

Every night for weeks, Oikawa and Hanamaki mapped out their position. They took into account their speed throughout the day, direction of the sun, and the landmarks along the way. With all that, they were fairly certain of their position.

Hanamaki had even predicted they would be crossing that damned river today around noon.

What else, Oikawa? Where were the towns? Oikawa screwed his eyes shut again, visualizing the map and the towns he'd briefly glanced at that were down river.

Brown eyes flew open. There's a town off in the east. It was the exact opposite way of Hanamaki and the others, but Oikawa was sure someone there would be able to help him.

Pushing himself to his feet, Oikawa stomped out the fire, pulling Iwaizumi's lax body over his again and stumbling out into the crisp evening air.

With the sunset at his back, Oikawa set his jaw and marched forward through the forest, determined not to let the man on his back die. Not on his watch.

The sunset came and went, leaving behind a chilled and darkened forest. A forest Oikawa was extremely unfamiliar with. He tried not to think about it too much, simply placing one foot in front of the other. Even when he stumbled over hidden roots and through thorn covered bushes, Oikawa kept himself in a straight line, biting his lip to keep himself from falling asleep.

Oikawa tripped for what felt like the hundredth time, but instead of catching himself, he accidentally slammed his head into a tree, causing both him and Iwaizumi to crumple on the ground.

Groaning through the white hot pain lancing through his head, Oikawa reached up to wipe away the blood trickling down his face, catching the sight of a woman out of the corner of his eye.

Oikawa flinched back and scrambled to pull Iwaizumi's daggers from their sheaths to point them at the woman.

Even through his sudden adrenaline spike, Oikawa had a wild thought that the person in front of him was the epitome of beauty. Her dark, coffee colored skin almost melted into the blue black of raven's wings in the light of the half moon pouring through the trees.

She was dressed in a simple, flowing white gown with her curly hair tied up in intricate braids, flowers peeking their way through the strands as if they were grass.

"Who are you?" Oikawa's voiced cracked from the immense amount of open mouth breathing he had done while dragging a full grown man through miles of forest.

The woman smiled and Oikawa felt his chest warm inexplicably at the sight. Her dress seemed to glow in the moonlight as she moved to sit in front of Oikawa.

Pulling Iwaizumi behind him, Oikawa watched her carefully, certain she had not been there before he had taken a tree to the head. He was fairly sure he would've noticed someone as otherworldly as her. Maybe he had hit his head harder than he thought. Maybe the exhaustion finally sent his brain into a hallucination.

"You don't need to push yourself this hard, Tooru," her voice rang beautifully in Oikawa's ears, comforting and ethereal. The sound tickled something like a memory in the back of Oikawa's mind.

Oikawa gripped the daggers harder, "I'll push myself as hard as I want. I need to make it to that town."

"You don't, I can help you take care of him here," she tilted her head at the man behind Oikawa's back.

The daggers in Oikawa's hands dipped as he hesitated. He was so fucking tired. His whole body ached from the tumble through the rapids and the subsequent plummet. Even just sitting here, Oikawa could feel the muscles in his legs trembling with exhaustion.

His eyes struggled to keep open, but when Oikawa looked back to Iwaizumi behind him, face slack and almost peaceful in the faint light of the half-moon. Oikawa shook his head.

"Would they take better care of him than me?" Oikawa asked softly.

The woman raised her eyebrows in surprise, but paused as she thought about his question.

"Yes," her voice held no malice or taunt, just a simple statement of fact, "They would."

Oikawa nodded and returned the daggers back to their original place, gripping Iwaizumi's arms to sling them over his shoulders once more.

"That's all I need to know," Oikawa murmured, beginning his arduous trek through the forest again.

The woman followed, easily matching Oikawa's slow pace through the woods.

"You do not wish to be the one to save him?" The woman asked, voice and face genuinely curious.

Oikawa scoffed lightly, "I might have my pride, but I'm not stupid," he felt the large chest against his back struggle to inhale, "This isn't something I'm willing to risk," he admitted softly.

The woman's laugh was almost musical and she seemed to float over the leaves and blades of grass.

"You amuse me, Tooru. What does it matter how he gets healed? If the end result is the same, why take the more difficult path?"

Oikawa shot the woman a glare, figment of his imagination or not, she was really starting to irritate him.

"What does it matter to you which path I take? It's my decision and I've decided I want what's best for him," Oikawa hissed back.

"Ah, you boys," the woman laughed again, "you have no idea how alike you two are. All these years later, roles reversed and it's like history repeating itself. Both trying so hard to do the best they know how."

Oikawa rolled his eyes, "And what's that supposed to mean?"

His vision smiled as if she was pleased to be asked, "Exactly what I said. One tries his hardest all by himself, his hubris enough to convince him that if he's the best, everything will fall right into place," the woman paused, throwing a taunting smile at Oikawa, "no matter which path he takes."

Oikawa clenched his jaw, leave it to his own hallucinations to hit him where it hurts.

"And the other?" Oikawa gritted out.

The woman's smile faltered a little, "He's not so convinced. He'll believe in his people long before he ever believes in himself. He's convinced that all anyone needs is a strong enough pillar of support. And sometimes he sacrifices himself to be that support. He tries his best to keep everything from falling apart."

Oikawa glanced sideways at the lady following him, "Will he succeed?"

Again, the apparition seemed to think about his words, "I think so, as long as those on his side return his support."

"Those on his side?" Oikawa repeated.

The woman just hummed in response and Oikawa tsked. Since when did his own brain start ignoring his questions?

The woman stayed silent and Oikawa refused to be the one to break the peaceful air of the night. Maybe if he ignored her in return, she'd disappear again.

Without warning, the woman suddenly appeared in front of Oikawa, deep black eyes boring into his.

"Tooru, if you take him into that town, the people there will not treat you kindly. It will be hard. Harder than it needs to be."

Oikawa clenched his jaw and moved past her, "I figured as much. It still doesn't change anything."

The forest lapsed back into silence and Oikawa thought the vision was finally gone until he heard her voice once more.

"Golden child, lion boy; tell me what it's like to conquer."

Oikawa whipped his head to the side, finding no one there.

"Fearless child, broken boy; tell me what it's like to burn."

Oikawa stumbled as he jerked his head around and again, finding no one there. He shook the shivers running through his spine off and continued his trek east.

Her words stayed with him for the rest of the night, playing on loop in his head. Something about it sounded familiar. Was it the voice or the words? Oikawa didn't know and felt too exhausted to try and decipher the words right now, so he brushed it aside and looked up to see the barest hints of dawn dusting the sky.

Another ten minutes passed and Oikawa pulled them both into an enormous clearing with several buildings clustered in the center along a dirt road. Almost sobbing with relief, Oikawa hiked Iwaizumi further up his back and approached the buildings slowly.

Finally someone noticed and began shouting for assistance. Oikawa crumpled to the ground as he felt hands lifting Iwaizumi from his back. He tilted his head up to plead with anyone who would listen to him.

"Help him," Oikawa coughed, clearing his throat, "I think he's been drugged, he hasn't moved for half a day and his breathing's getting slower by the hour," another cough racked his chest.

An older woman leaned down to Oikawa's level and asked him to repeat the symptoms. He did so, gladly, before she nodded and walked away.

Oikawa watched her place light hands on Iwaizumi's face, cradling it softly, almost motherly, before lifting his eyelids and feeling his forehead. Oikawa stood up shakily, wanting to follow her when he was pushed back down by multiple pairs of hands. He looked up, dazed, blinking blearily into the early morning sun.

The man in front of him crouched down and leaned close to his face, making Oikawa pull back slightly in order to breathe.

"Just what exactly, do you think you're doing with that man?" The man's voice was laced with contempt and cynicism.

Oikawa couldn't help but flinch at the hostility in his gaze, "Someone shot him," Oikawa murmured, "I was trying to help."

"And who shot him?" Another face joined the first man's in Oikawa's field of vision.

Oikawa swallowed hard. He was in a strange place, with no allies but the one he'd hauled through miles of forest on his back. He'd find no hospitality here.

"I don't know," Oikawa admitted, admitting it wouldn't help, but he was only able to speak the truth, "I didn't see who it was."

A sharp pain needled Oikawa scalp as his head was yanked back by his hair. His hands went reflexively to grab the offending grip, but couldn't pry the fingers from his hair.

"What the fuck are you doing over here? You're not supposed to come this far into town," The first man spat in his ear, making Oikawa wince.

"We were just on our way to Center City," Oikawa weakly struggled against the hand in his hair, feeling his lack of food and sleep in a big way, "I don't want any trouble. I just want to make sure Iwa-chan's ok."

"What did you just say?" The hand gripping his hair pulled harder as he addressed the others gathered, "As expected of someone from Aoba Johsai," a dark chuckle sounded, this time up close as the man growled in his ear, "You people have no respect for anything."

Oikawa's face slammed heavily into the dirt. Knees pressed into his back to hold him down as his abuse was met with a smattering of cheers and whispers.

Spitting up dirt and blood from his split lip, Oikawa coughed, "I didn't mean it like that, just let me go with him and make sure he's ok."

Oikawa slid his hand out to brace and pull himself up with when a heavy foot came down on it, making the prince cry out.

"You're not going anywhere," a voice growled at him.

As if those words sent a signal to the others, Oikawa felt a flurry of blows begin raining down on him. He could do nothing except cover his head and fold in on himself, waiting until either they stopped, or he lost consciousness. Either way worked for Oikawa.

As suddenly as it started, the hits stopped.

Oikawa waited a few more breaths before lifting his head to see the same older woman that took Iwaizumi speaking harshly to one of the men. The man who held his hair, if Oikawa had to guess. The man threw a disgusted look down at him, but only threw up his hands and stomped off, shouldering people aside as he left.

The woman looked down and kneeled next to Oikawa, her voice soft, "Can you walk?"

Oikawa had a vivid flashback to him, kneeling on a cold stone floor, asking Iwaizumi the same question. Only now it was him on the receiving end.

Oikawa nodded, dazed and felt himself being pulled up by two separate pairs of hands. He looked down to see a pair of teenagers with their hands under his arms, lifting him up. He mumbled his thanks and tried not to sway on his feet.

"You wanted to make sure Iwaizumi-sama is ok?" The woman asked him.

Life filtered back into Oikawa's movements and even though he wanted nothing more than to see Iwaizumi, his thoughts hung up on the honorific.

"Sama?" Oikawa mumbled, running a hand through his filthy hair, trying to think. What was someone very clearly their senior doing paying that much respect to Iwaizumi?

The woman shook his arms lightly, "Do you?"

Yeah," Oikawa cleared his throat, "Yes, I would. Thank you."

Oikawa followed after the woman, glancing back occasionally to find the teenagers close behind him. He found no malice in their presence, just wariness, so he didn't say anything.

The woman lead him into a house and showed him to a small room with a bed shoved against the wall. Oikawa sucked in a breath as he noticed Iwaizumi laying on the bed, head tilted towards the wall, chest rising and falling steadily.

Oikawa looked back at the woman, "Is he going to be ok?"

The woman looked at him, dark brown eyes probably taking in his obviously rugged and disheveled appearance.

"His body needs time to work out the poison, but I've stopped it from reaching his heart and lungs," the woman sighed and glanced at Iwaizumi across the room, "Barely."

Oikawa nodded and leaned against the doorway, body suddenly heavier than he could hold up. He felt the woman watching him again, but he couldn't pull his tired gaze from the figure on the bed.

"Come," The woman pulled at his shirtsleeve, ushering Oikawa down the hall and into a bathroom where the two teenagers were finishing filling up a large, copper bathtub.

"Wash," she demanded.

Oikawa shook his head, "I'd like to stay with him. Make sure he doesn't need anything else."

The woman's grip hardened on Oikawa's arm, surprising him, with the strength, "He needs a lot more than you can give him right now. He needs stitches, medication, nutrients, and rest. But what he needs more than anything right now is a clean environment," she gave Oikawa a hard glare, "You're not getting in that room without washing that muck off you."

Oikawa looked down at himself. He still had the dried mud caked on his side from the waterfall. His pants were in tatters from the rocks of the rapids and the thorns from the forest clawing at his legs. He didn't even want to think about how his hair looked right now.

Maybe washing up wouldn't be the worst idea.

Oikawa reluctantly nodded and the woman, along with the teenagers disappeared, leaving Oikawa to his own devices.

All cleaned up and feeling much better, Oikawa pulled on the set of clothes his hosts had left for him and made his way down the hall to where Iwaizumi still slept.

The sun was now fully in the sky, its golden rays lightly shining on Iwaizumi's face. Kneeling next to the bed, Oikawa tilted Iwaizumi's face towards his, out of the glaring light.

"You almost made my last words to you some sarcastic bullshit," Oikawa murmured, "Do you know how pissed off I would be?"

Oikawa chuckled softly into the quiet room, the sound falling sadly on his own ears. He sighed, laying his head down next to Iwaizumi, finding his limp, but warm hand under the covers.

"Please wake up, Hajime," Oikawa breathed, feeling his breath bounce back against his lips. It didn't occur to him that he was falling asleep until it was much too late to wake back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, I originally only had like, 3,500 words for this chapter, I can't believe I bullshitted almost half of this. College is just not ready for me lol.
> 
> How's it going? Is this what angst is? I don't fucking know, please tell me! I feel like I'm terrible at this lol.
> 
> Also, the quote in here is:
> 
> Golden child,  
> Lion boy;  
> Tell me what it's like to conquer.
> 
> Fearless child,  
> Broken boy;  
> Tell me what it's like to burn
> 
> -oh darling, even rome fell // p.s. (via madzie-bane)
> 
> And I love it greatly.
> 
> It might take me longer to get out the next chapter. I've just started a new job and I'm currently stuck, plot-wise. I'll get it out, I promise, but please don't be upset if it takes two weeks now instead of one.
> 
> As always, love you guys! Thanks for taking this journey with me!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok (phew) I finished this one early. I worked for hours on my day off just for you guys! =D
> 
> Fuck! I nixed like a good 2,000 words out of this whole chapter so now I'm having to bullshit even more. I just really didn't like the direction this chapter went, so I just said "Oh well. Trash!"
> 
> Now I'm stressin'

Iwaizumi blinked awake in the dull afternoon sun. The first thing he saw was a roof over his head. A roof? Last he remembered, he was falling down a waterfall.

A groan slipped through his lips as he shifted, feeling a sharp ache in his upper back, reminding him he was also shot recently.

Iwaizumi twisted his head and saw the top of wavy brown hair that could only belong to one person.

"Oikawa?" Iwaizumi's voice came out raspy and rough. Either from inhaling river water, or however long he had been unconscious, he didn't know.

The light from the window struck Oikawa's hair, turning it auburn as he shifted, letting out a small groan of his own. The blanket draped lightly across his shoulders slipped and joined the rest of his body crumpled up on the floor.

Iwaizumi took in the disheveled state of the nest of chestnut hair on the bed next to him. He would've thought Oikawa would rather die than have his precious hair look like that.

Iwaizumi blinked and looked down to their joined hands, slipping it free before his chest tightened too painfully. He sat up slowly, just noticing his and Oikawa's change of clothes and lack of river mud caked over them.

The motion from the bed pulled Oikawa out of his sleep. Wincing at the awkward angle of his position, Oikawa blinked blearily up to find olive green eyes looking back down at him.

Oikawa jerked to full consciousness and pulled Iwaizumi into a crushing hug, "You're awake! She said it would be a while, but you sure do take your time, don't you, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa chuckled softly, relieved.

Iwaizumi tried to stifle his cry at the jostling of his injury, apparently failing when Oikawa released him immediately and pulled back, hands still gripping the tops of Iwaizumi's shoulders as if afraid to let go.

Now able to take in Oikawa's face, Iwaizumi's brow furrowed in concerned as he lifted a hand to brush across the prince's split lip.

"What happened?" Iwaizumi croaked out, "Were you in a fight or something?"

Oikawa shook his head, waving away his questions with a nonchalant hand.

"This is just what happens when you survive a nose-dive from a waterfall."

Iwaizumi's finger tapped lightly on the thin, red line cutting across his lip, "This wasn't there after the waterfall." His eyes travelled up and saw the cut on his forehead as well.

Oikawa smiled, lips moving under Iwaizumi's finger, "You were drugged, Iwa-chan, what do you know?"

Iwaizumi's face pinched and his hand fell back onto the bed, "I wasn't that out of it, Shittykawa."

"Are you calling me a liar, Iwa-chan? I take offense at the attack on my delicate character," Oikawa snickered.

"What character? Shitty personalities don't get any character, Uglykawa," Iwaizumi grumbled sweeping his hand across his eyes before groaning, "How long have I been asleep?"

"You've been _unconscious_ ," Oikawa stressed the proper term, "for over two days, Iwa-chan. We've been here about a day and a half."

Iwaizumi groaned as he looked around the room, "Where are we?"

Oikawa shrugged, "Some town down river from where we went over."

"Damn it, Shittykawa, I was avoiding towns for a reason," Iwaizumi glanced pointedly at Oikawa's lip, knowing full well where it came from and honestly shocked he didn't have more bruises.

"Hold up, I dragged your heavy ass through miles of forest to get here. A, 'Thank you,' would be nice, Iwa-chan," Oikawa snapped, his lips pulling into a pout.

"For the love of-," Iwaizumi growled, pausing to run his hand through his hair, "I'm not thanking you for putting yourself in danger, especially when I explicitly asked you not to."

"Oh, right," Oikawa bite back, sarcastically, "I totally forgot about the time you told me to let you die whenever you get shot with a poisoned arrow."

"Who says I was going to die? Do you even know what they drugged me with?" Iwaizumi asked, harshly.

Oikawa crossed his hands over his chest, "Why do I need to know that in order to know your life was in danger? You almost stopped breathing, Iwa-chan!"

Iwaizumi opened his mouth to snap back when he was interrupted by a woman's voice from the doorway.

"Iwaizumi-sama."

Both men flinched in surprise at the woman in the doorway. She held a tray filled with food and one of the teenagers behind her held a steaming tea kettle.

She smiled at the pair, "I thought that was you. Everyone will be glad to know you're awake and feeling better."

Iwaizumi nodded somewhat awkwardly, glancing over at Oikawa as the women set the food and drink down on a low table before excusing themselves. The older woman passed by Iwaizumi, squeezing his hand and he smiled tightly, looking up at her as she left.

"Iwaizumi- _sama,_ huh?" Oikawa picked up a piece of fruit from the tray and popped it in his mouth only to talk around it, "You know, now that I think about it, you seem pretty popular around here. Is this your hometown?"

Iwaizumi carefully pulled himself up and over to sit across the table, busying his hands pouring the tea into a small cup.

"Not exactly," Iwaizumi answered.

Another piece of fruit disappeared, "So evasive, Iwa-chan." Oikawa tilted his head, amused.

Iwaizumi's face pinched, but he ignored the bait, lifting the steaming cup to his lips. The metal around his wrists catching the sunlight from the window.

Oikawa tried again, "Well, I guess I could always just go and ask our pleasant hosts. I'm sure they wouldn't mind telling me."

Oikawa moved to get up, hiding his wince from the small aches and pains littered across his body. He got all the way to the doorway before Iwaizumi called out to him.

"Wait," he put the cup in his hands down, frowning and silently cursing Oikawa every way he knew how.

Oikawa paused and turned back into the room, not bothering to hide his triumphant smile as he waited for Iwaizumi to continue.

Iwaizumi avoided the other's gaze, looking down and twisting the bracelets on his arms.

"You asked before if I was someone important, remember?"

Oikawa nodded, it was back in Aoba Johsai when Iwaizumi had been locked up. Oikawa had actually forgotten about it until now, being too distracted with the discovery of his imaginary friend turning out to be real.

Iwaizumi shifted uncomfortably, "My family is actually very important in Seijoh."

"So they're kind of like the nobles in Aoba Johsai?" Oikawa asked, trying to equate it with the only thing he was familiar with.

"Yeah, something like that," Iwaizumi mumbled, twisting the bands on his wrist harder.

Oikawa eyed the motion and slowly crossed the room. Going to a knee in front of Iwaizumi, Oikawa reached a hand out to cover the fidgeting appendage. Iwaizumi stilled his hands and watched as the taller man furrowed his brow, thinking of something to say.

"It's ok," Oikawa whispered, "If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to," he smiled lightly, trying to comfort Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi sucked in a breath. The problem was, he _did_ want to tell him. He really did. Iwaizumi's whole body practically vibrated with the need to tell the man in front of him everything. Everything all at once and just be done with it. Iwaizumi wasn't made for secrets, for falsehoods and half-truths. This was the first time he could remember being intentionally misleading, at least, to this degree.

Why did he feel the need to keep this from Oikawa? It shouldn't have mattered, not when they were only a month out from the Center City where it would be impossible to hide anything from him.

But it did matter. It mattered because Iwaizumi needed this man to trust him. At least for the next month.

Iwaizumi promised himself that the second they both walked into Center City alive, he would tell Oikawa everything. Confess everything and let Oikawa hate him. Iwaizumi could do that. But that day just wasn't today.

For now, Iwaizumi could do nothing but remain silent and nod, allowing Oikawa to keep his hands from fidgeting.

Oikawa's hand lingered on the warm metal bracelets, eyes drawn down to them as they so often were. There was something about them, undeniably beautiful, yes, but there was this sense of melancholy Oikawa felt when he looked at them too. They reminded the prince too much of shackles. Inexplicably gorgeous, but restraints nonetheless.

Oikawa twisted them around Iwaizumi's wrists himself before his eyes caught on some particularly deep and symmetrical grooves etched into the surface. The prince tried to discreetly tilt his head to get a better look before Iwaizumi noticed his keen interest and yanked his hands out of his grasp.

"Quit being nosy, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi grumbled, picking up the cup of tea again.

"You had something etched on it!" Oikawa's grin was breathtaking in the golden sunlight of the afternoon filtering through the window. Even though Iwaizumi could still see the red cut on his lip, the small bags under his eyes, and the rats nest he called hair, under all that, Oikawa still smiled in a way that was so pure, it hurt Iwaizumi's chest.

"I had Matsun do it whenever he was on watch," Iwaizumi mumbled.

Why did he tell him that?

"Can I see it?" Oikawa asked, looking hopefully at Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi sighed, lowering his cup, "Are you going to leave me alone if I do?"

Oikawa's grin melted into a teasing smile, "You can't get rid of me that easily, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and sighed, looking at the determined look on the brunette's face.

"Fine. Here," Iwaizumi decided it wasn't worth arguing, especially when they both knew it mattered to Oikawa a lot more than it mattered to Iwaizumi. For whatever reason.

Iwaizumi watched Oikawa twist the metal around to see the detailed etching Matsukawa had spent hours making in the dim light of the candles.

"Oh, wow," Oikawa breathed, running a finger across the image of a forest under a night sky. There was a small cliff in the imagery, along with a creek flowing along the bottom.

"It's so good," Oikawa marveled at the minute details of the stars, "Is this a real place?"

Iwaizumi nodded, focusing on eating a bite of the food.

"So what happened there?" Oikawa asked, eyes still on the picture in the metal.

Iwaizumi hesitated, coughing to cover up the way his lungs stuttered in his chest.

"I just, sort of realized something there," Iwaizumi mumbled as he pulled his wrist from Oikawa's fingers, "Something I forgot until recently."

"Something important?" Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi's face.

Iwaizumi sighed, unable to stop himself from looking back into the bright, chocolate eyes in front of him. Eyes he desperately needed that day all those years ago.

"Important enough, I guess," Iwaizumi murmured, pulling his gaze down with great difficulty.

Oikawa frowned at the minimal answer and Iwaizumi flicked his forehead, careful to avoid the small gash to the side.

"Now stop being nosy and let me eat, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi grumbled.

Oikawa fell back dramatically, putting his hand to his forehead and crying out.

"Iwa-chan! Be careful, my head is sensitive. You'll make me hallucinate that annoying lady again!"

Iwaizumi snorted, turning his attention to his food, "It makes sense that your hallucinations are just as annoying as you are. I'd like to meet the vision that could annoy you, maybe get a few tips." Iwaizumi grinned.

"Not funny, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa whined, "She was real bossy. Trying to make me stay out in the forest and take care of you."

Iwaizumi hummed, glancing up to look at Oikawa's distressed face and back down at his food, "Good thing you didn't listen to her. Kyōtani might actually murder you if you went back without me."

Oikawa didn't laugh the way Iwaizumi was expecting him to. Iwaizumi tore off a piece of bread in his mouth and looked over to see Oikawa staring blankly out the window. Iwaizumi swallowed and tried to get the other's attention.

"Hey, I was just kidding," Oikawa still didn't look at him and Iwaizumi grew uneasy at the sudden lack of communication, "I mean, he'd probably try, but I think Matsun and Yahaba would be able to stop him."

Still nothing from the quiet brunette.

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi murmured.

Oikawa blinked and looked back at Iwaizumi, his brows knitted together and drawn down.

"What is it?" Iwaizumi asked, voice still soft.

"I remember where I heard her voice before, Iwa-chan," Oikawa whispered, dazed.

"Whose voice? What are you talking about?" Iwaizumi set the bread down, not taking his eyes off Oikawa.

"The lady from the forest," Oikawa answered, "It's the same voice from when I was six. Nineteen years later and it's the same voice. How's that possible?"

"It's not," Iwaizumi declared, "You said it yourself, it was a hallucination."

Oikawa's mouth twisted to the side, "What if it wasn't?" His voice dropped as he looked down at his hands, clenching them as he remembered the way Iwaizumi's daggers had felt in his hands.

"It felt so real," Oikawa muttered and Iwaizumi couldn't tell if he was talking to himself or not.

"Well, it wasn't," Iwaizumi stated, resuming eating his breakfast, eager to finish and get moving before the sun went down in a few hours. He didn't want to think about what Oikawa might or might not have experienced in the forest by himself. It was honestly a miracle he had made it so far by himself. A miracle that needed more time to be examined.

Iwaizumi shoveled food into his mouth and stood to grab his weapon harness by the door, throwing it on loosely, wincing at the small pull in his back. He put a hand out against the wall, steadying himself. His body wasn't ready to move again, but staying here was an even worse idea.

"Let's get moving," Iwaizumi grumbled, pulling Oikawa back into the present, and pushing off the wall, "We need to meet back up with the group."

Iwaizumi turned and walked out the door, not waiting for the brunette to catch up, exiting the house and starting towards the tree line before Oikawa came stumbling out of the doorway, following him.

"Iwa-chan, wait!" Oikawa shouted, running to catch up to the raven, trying his best to grab at his shirt and pull him back, "You're not supposed to be walking just yet, you could pull your stitches or pass out."

Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa off him, not slowing down, "Matsun should have realized where we would go. They're probably still trying to get around the cliff with the horses. If we leave now, we can meet them halfway and continue."

Hands gripped Iwaizumi's arm, firmly pulling him back and not easily shaken this time. Iwaizumi looked down at the hands then back up to Oikawa's face.

"Iwa, seriously. You might still be working off the rest of the poison and not two days ago, I was digging an arrow out of your back," Oikawa's gaze was steady and fierce, "You need your rest. Just for tonight. Please, just rest."

Iwaizumi looked back down at the hands around his arm before yanking himself out of Oikawa's grasp, trying to remember if the brunette touched others so freely. He stepped again towards the trees, but this time he was stopped by Oikawa's voice, softer than he'd heard all day.

"If you won't do it for yourself, then would you do it for me?"

Iwaizumi stopped, blunt fingernails digging into the meat of his palms as he turned and looked at the bloodshot brown eyes angled slightly down at him. He really did look like shit.

Forest green eyes alighted on the small wound to the side of his forehead, the cut on his cracked lips, the pallid tone of his skin that made the bruises on his arms stand out harshly in the afternoon sun. The raven noticed for the first time how unsteady the man in front of him looked on his feet. Maybe even more so than Iwaizumi himself.

Iwaizumi chewed the inside of his cheek, glancing once more to the forest before blowing out a breath. Oikawa had inadvertently hit the nail on the head. Almost like he knew there was only one thing that would have made Iwaizumi change his mind and stay.

"One night," Iwaizumi surrendered, pulling his face into a frown.

A grin cracked across Oikawa's face and Iwaizumi averted his eyes, choosing to focus instead on the growing crowd of people their presence was attracting. Worry flitted across Iwaizumi's features.

Not good. They needed back inside.

Oblivious as ever, Oikawa grabbed at Iwaizumi's wrist, moving them between the scattered people. Iwaizumi ducked his head at the rapt attention the others were giving the pair of them. The raven glanced over at Oikawa.

Did none of this bother the brunette? How could he be so calm and carefree when it was possible the people who had cut his lip open and caused at least some of the bruises on his arms where standing right there, staring at him.

The grip on Iwaizumi's wrist tightened and the raven amended his thoughts. Oikawa wasn't oblivious. He was well aware what kind of position he was in.

Now that Iwaizumi looked closer, he could see the slightest bit of tension plaguing his shoulders that wasn't there before. There was an alertness to his mocha eyes, betraying his easy going smile as he continued pulling Iwaizumi down the street.

Not five steps away from the door, Iwaizumi saw it. A hand reaching for Oikawa. The brunette didn't notice, looking back at Iwaizumi like that, he couldn't have seen it.

Acting more on instinct than anything, Iwaizumi twisted his wrist, gripping Oikawa's forearm and jerking him backwards. Brown eyes widened with surprise as Oikawa came crashing into Iwaizumi's chest.

"What seems to be the problem, Keicho?" Iwaizumi asked, tone flat as he looked at the man.

The man's hand fell by his side, having lost its intended target. Iwaizumi shifted, pulling Oikawa discreetly behind him. To the brunette's credit, he seemed to know when to hold his tongue. At least, for now.

The man, Keicho, shoved his hands in his pockets and tilted his head, "No problem sir, I just wanted to make sure everything here was okay."

"Everything is fine. I appreciate the concern, but there's nothing here you need to worry about."

Keicho shrugged, "Sure didn't seem like it yesterday morning. I'm glad to see you're doing so well after being poisoned like that," his eyes darted over Iwaizumi's shoulder, looking at Oikawa.

Iwaizumi felt Oikawa's body flinch and pull back slightly away from the other's gaze. He resisted the urge to pull the brunette closer.

Maneuvering around Keicho, Iwaizumi inched closer to the door, trying his best at diplomacy, "I'm awfully grateful to your town for taking the both of us in like this. I'll be sure to remember your kindness."

Keicho grinned, either unaware of the vaguely veiled threat, or unbothered by it, "Of course sir, think nothing of it. In fact, we actually have a more suitable arrangement for your _guest_ just down the road a bit. I'm here to escort him."

Iwaizumi did not miss the slight tremble in the wrist he was grasping behind his back. Iwaizumi's fingers tightened and he glanced over his shoulder, mildly irritated at the uncharacteristic meekness he felt from the brunette.

What Iwaizumi was expecting to find when he looked back was an outraged Oikawa, a tumultuous fire alight in those deep brown eyes, ready to unleash vengeance. What Iwaizumi was _not_ expecting to see was a mouth set in a determined line, a steady and resigned gaze looking back at him.

What was he looking at him like that for? Did he think Iwaizumi was seriously considering sending him with this man? Just the thought of it made Iwaizumi's blood boil and his stomach churn.

"He's fine right where he is," Iwaizumi snapped, turning back to a nonplussed Keicho.

Iwaizumi released Oikawa's wrist to take a step towards Keicho. Lowering his voice, Iwaizumi ducked his head to make sure no one else could overhear.

"You would do well to remember exactly who it is you're talking to," Iwaizumi grinned at the small stiffening in the man's body, relishing it in a way he probably shouldn't, "From this moment on, I'm taking any and all slights to this man personally. I'd suggest you and the others think long and hard about what that means before you make complete fools out of yourselves."

Keicho jerked himself back and stared dumbly at Iwaizumi as he pulled Oikawa behind him and slipped them both through the door.

Leaning against the closed door and closing his eyes, Iwaizumi missed the brief, puzzled glance Oikawa threw his way.

"You didn't have to do that."

Iwaizumi cracked his eyes open to see Oikawa standing there with his arms crossed, glaring at him like he was the one in the wrong.

"I just assumed you wouldn't want to spend the night in a filthy jail cell. Was I wrong?" Iwaizumi passed a tired hand over his face. He wasn't in the mood for whatever nonsense that had sent Oikawa into this foul temper.

Oikawa pursed his lips and clenched his hands where they were tucked up under his arms.

"I knew perfectly well what I was getting myself into when I came here."

"So what was I supposed to do, Shittykawa?" Iwaizumi pushed himself off the door with a small wince and spread his arms, "Tell me! Was I supposed to just let you go with him? Is that what you want?"

"It would have been fair!" Oikawa snapped across the room. Oikawa's eyes widened in surprise at himself and he turned to stomp into the small room they had been in before. He passed the older woman who had taken care of Iwaizumi and paused, wanting to thank her again, but she just waved a hand at him, so he continued.

Iwaizumi followed close behind, not nearly as done with the conversation as Oikawa.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Iwaizumi barked back.

Oikawa turned and pushed Iwaizumi in his chest, catching him off guard and making him stumble backwards.

"Just what I said!" Oikawa shouted, "You want me to hold your hand and explain everything to you? It's not my fault you can't put two and two together."

"Oh wow, ok," Iwaizumi growled, finally understanding what Oikawa was trying to say and it pissed him off.

"So you think the world is fair? That things just magically balance themselves out?" Iwaizumi spat, "You delusional fucking prick."

Oikawa looked bewildered at the sudden venom in Iwaizumi's voice. He opened his mouth to defend himself when Iwaizumi surged forward and gripped the fabric of his shirt, throwing him to the ground and pulling him back up by the garment.

"Welcome to real fucking life where hard work sometimes only puts you on even footing," Iwaizumi snarled down at him, "Sometimes bad people lead happy lives and good people die way too fucking early. What makes you so special that you get to decide how you can atone for your sins?"

Iwaizumi yanked Oikawa closer, hissing in his face, "Life isn't fair and you're not the one to decide how to pass off your guilt."

Oikawa gaped at Iwaizumi as he felt his shirt being let go and he slumped to the ground. His immediate reaction was to yell back, deny his guilt, but the more time passed, the more he realized Iwaizumi might be right.

If Oikawa had gone with the man outside, knowing Iwaizumi, he would've felt guilty about it. It wasn't easy to tell, but Oikawa knew Iwaizumi cared what happened to him. The true test had been when Oikawa had asked Iwaizumi to stay for him. Iwaizumi had stared at him so long, Oikawa almost thought he had been mistaken.

But then he said 'Ok,' and Oikawa could see the faint softening of the evergreen eyes. Iwaizumi already felt responsible for the small amount of abuse he had taken, even though Oikawa knew it was nothing compared to what Iwaizumi had endured under his own care. If the roles had been reversed, who's to say Oikawa wouldn't have felt the same?

Iwaizumi left the room, leaving behind a disturbingly quiet Oikawa to get his thoughts in order. Several minutes passed and Oikawa found himself glancing worriedly at the curtain covered doorway.

Was that it? How was he supposed to sleep with this weight on his chest?

Oikawa stood and exited the room, working his way through the older woman's house in search of Iwaizumi.

Following the smell of food, Oikawa hesitated in the doorway of a large kitchen. The woman had yet to notice him with her back turned.

Coughing lightly in his hand, the woman glanced languidly over at him before going back to her cutting board.

Shuffling his feet, Oikawa gripped the hem of his borrowed shirt to keep himself from fidgeting.

"Thank you, again," Oikawa said into the quiet kitchen, gesturing to the room somewhere behind him, "For the last couple days."

The woman nodded, not looking up at him. Oikawa supposed that was fair.

A thought occurred to the prince and he could've hit himself in the face for not thinking of it sooner. He'd been so focused on Iwaizumi the past few days, he hadn't even thought to get to know the person who had actually saved him.

Oikawa moved farther into the kitchen, "I never did ask your name, did I? I'm sorry for that."

The woman hummed, "You still haven't."

Oikawa gave an embarrassed laugh at that. She got him there.

"So," he started awkwardly, "what's your name?"

The woman looked up at him and gave him a soft smile, "Rinta."

"Rinta," Oikawa parroted, moving beside her, "That's a very unique name. I'm Tooru, by the way."

It felt safer to tell her his given name, just in case she happened to recognize his family name.

The woman hummed again.

"Do you want some help, Rinta-san?" Oikawa asked, gesturing to the food in front of her.

"Just Rinta is fine," she glanced up at him before nodding to the pile of small vegetables to the side, "Wash those and start cutting them."

Oikawa nodded and followed her instructions for the better part of an hour. Having never really made any kind of home-cooked meal for himself before (the meals on the road barely counted as meals), the pair of them experienced growing pains.

The prince found Rinta easy to talk to, even if she didn't say much herself, Oikawa was used to it and he could tell she was listening. It felt nice.

At one point, Rinta looked at him carefully and asked, "Were you trying to find Iwaizumi-sama?"

A little surprised that she had known that, Oikawa paused cutting the vegetables and huffed a small laugh, "Yeah, he just up and left me before I could say what I wanted to say."

Rinta tilted her head, "He's always been such a shy boy. Always rather be outside than around other people. He never really gained the confidence to speak his mind to others."

Oikawa clicked his tongue and raised an eyebrow, remembering how Iwaizumi had yelled in his face, "Seems to speak his mind just fine to me."

Rinta chuckled softly, turning her attention back to the food, "I suppose it would seem that way to someone else, but I've known him since before he could talk."

Oikawa glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, she didn't seem that old to him.

Rinta sighed and fixed Oikawa with a meaningful look, "I don't think he knows how to say the things he actually wants to say."

Oikawa didn't have a response to that and they let the moment fade away under the sounds of cutting and scraping.

Just as Oikawa was about to worry that the food would get cold and gross before Iwaizumi came back, the man himself walked in, stopping short at the sight of Oikawa scrubbing used dishes in the sink.

Tossing a smile over his shoulder, Oikawa quickly dried his hands on his pants. He picked up a plate and set it on the table, flourishing his hands dramatically.

"Your dinner, good sir," Oikawa grinned impishly at him.

Iwaizumi shook himself out of whatever shock seeing Oikawa in a kitchen had put him in and wrinkled his nose at the food.

"Tell me you didn't make this yourself," Iwaizumi grumbled.

Delicate lips pulled into a pout as Oikawa whined, "Iwa-chan, don't make such an ugly face at my cooking!"

Iwaizumi looked behind the brunette to address the other person in the room, currently drying and putting the last of the plates up.

"Rinta, did he make this himself?" Iwaizumi asked her, ignoring the indignant gasp from Oikawa.

Rinta smiled, "I helped a little."

"Good enough for me," Iwaizumi mumbled and sat down at the table.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa huffed, plopping himself in the seat next to the raven, "My cooking's not that bad. You always eat it when it's my turn to cook."

Iwaizumi swallowed and rolled his eyes, "Congratulations Shittykawa, your cooking is a step above starvation."

"So mean, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa turned to Rinta, "You see how he treats me? Always so mean."

Rinta just chuckled and waved goodbye before disappearing down the hall.

Oikawa frowned after her. She was no help.

Looking back, Oikawa watched Iwaizumi eat a few more bites before taking a deep breath. It was time to say what he had been wanting to say for the last couple of hours.

Twisting himself in his chair to face Iwaizumi beside him, Oikawa cleared his throat, making the raven glance over at him quizzically.

"I know life's not fair and you were right," Iwaizumi straightened, slightly, swallowing his food and watching Oikawa shift in his seat.

"I was trying to make myself feel better about what happened with you by putting myself through the same situation. I didn't stop and think about how that would make you feel," Oikawa paused, taking a deep breath before turning his face up to look into the deep green eyes sitting so close to him.

With all the sincerity he could muster, Oikawa whispered, "I'm so sorry, Hajime."

Iwaizumi forgot about the food in front of him the second his name left Oikawa's mouth. It affected him a lot more than he thought it would and Iwaizumi had to remember how to breathe through the sudden tightness in his chest.

Oikawa was still in the middle of explaining himself, but his apologies faded as the roaring in Iwaizumi's ears rose to a painful pitch. Those pale, pink lips continued moving, forming words and sentences when all Iwaizumi wanted was for them to go back in time and form the one word he longed to hear more than any other. That's all he wanted those lips to do.

 _This is a close second_ , Iwaizumi thought as he curled his fingers along the back of Oikawa's neck and stopped his mutterings with a brief, spontaneous kiss.

A small, tense second passed before Oikawa relaxed into the sudden embrace. He felt Iwaizumi begin to pull back and the brunette pressed forward, hands landing lightly on the tops of the raven's thighs, not allowing the other a chance to change his mind so easily.

Iwaizumi's grip on the back of Oikawa's neck tightened as he felt the chapped lips under him open up, unsolicited, but no less welcome. Their tongues met and Oikawa sighed as he tasted the food he had cooked for Iwaizumi dance across his palate.

As quickly as he had started it, Iwaizumi suddenly pulled back, nearly sliding off his chair in an effort to put distance between them.

Oikawa blinked at the abrupt loss of warmth and furrowed his brows at the harsh sound of a chair being slid back.

What just happened?

Iwaizumi stood, causing his chair to crash backwards and both of them flinched at the sudden clatter. Oikawa reached out to grab his hand and pull him back, but Iwaizumi twisted violently away, panting lightly and pushing a shaking hand against his mouth.

"Iwa-chan, wait," Oikawa breathed as Iwaizumi turned and left, once again without a word.

Oikawa stood to follow, tripping over the chair on the floor. Cursing under his breath, Oikawa stumbled out of the house just in time to see Iwaizumi's retreating back in the dimming sunlight.

"Wait!" Oikawa tried to call after him, rushing as fast as his legs would take him, so fucking glad he was on the taller side of genetics.

Iwaizumi didn't stop as they moved deeper into the forest, didn't even slow down at the exclamation.

Catching up to Iwaizumi was proving much more difficult than Oikawa had originally thought and the brunette steadily lost sight of the shorter man.

"For fuck's sake!" Oikawa shouted into the darkening twilight. He heard nothing in response and kicked out at an especially overgrown root.

All he wanted was to talk to the man. Why was he making things so difficult?

Oikawa's thin fingers pressed against his lips. He could still feel the warmth of Iwaizumi's solid, self assured lips, but the feeling was fading fast and Oikawa couldn't help but wish it hadn't gone by so quickly.

All those times he had idly wondered what it would be like to kiss such a serious person and it was over too fast for him to truly enjoy it, memorize the feeling.

Not one time did he ever expect Iwaizumi to surprise him like that. He always seemed so reserved and in control of himself, especially around Oikawa. The brunette was beginning to think if he wanted anything to happen, he'd have to take matters into his own hands.

Not that Oikawa minded, the prince loved taking the initiative and watching his partners play catch-up. It made him feel as if he was directing the exchange, orchestrating it.

His thumb grazed his lower lip in thought. Maybe he liked surprises more than he thought.

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa shouted into the, now dark, forest, "I'm not leaving until you talk to me!"

Oikawa's voice echoed back to him, making him feel a little ridiculous, but he stood his ground. The forest night life began to stir around him and Oikawa sat himself carefully on the grass, having complete faith that Iwaizumi had heard him and could find him if he wanted.

Oikawa laid back and placed his hands under his head to look up into the sky. With only a small sliver of a moon in the sky, the stars shone bright for Oikawa. His dark brown eyes flitted across the sky, naming all the constellations he could remember to pass the time.

Hours passed and even though the temperature had dropped, Oikawa still found himself nodding off, catching himself whenever his head tilted too far to one side. He stretched, rolled his neck and began naming the stars again, trying to put them in different orders. Alphabetical, size, seasonal, anything to stave off the drowsiness. Oikawa was nothing if not stubborn.

Eventually, Oikawa heard a small sigh off to the side. Jerking himself up and twisting around, he found Iwaizumi leaning against a tree, face hidden in the shadows, but he was clearly watching the brunette.

"You're going to get sick staying out here in the cold like that," Iwaizumi grumbled, not moving from his carefully distanced position.

Oikawa grinned at the sight of him, "Iwa-chan, are you my mom?"

Iwaizumi folded his arms across his chest and even though Oikawa couldn't see it, he knew the raven had one of the biggest frowns on his face.

Oikawa sighed at the minimal reaction, "I wanted to talk."

Iwaizumi's gaze darted around the trees, not lingering too long on Oikawa.

"So talk," Iwaizumi said.

Oikawa patted the grass next to him and laid back down, "I don't want to yell at you from all the way over there."

Iwaizumi hesitated, he had picked this spot because it offered an exceptionally dark place to hide his expressive face. Something he knew he would need for the upcoming conversation. When Oikawa didn't move again and went silent, Iwaizumi grumbled to himself and sat in the indicated spot.

No words were said for a long time and Iwaizumi almost stood back up when Oikawa spoke softly.

"You ever think about how long we've known each other?"

Iwaizumi pursed his lips, "Too long, if you asked me."

Oikawa ignored the obvious attempt to change the subject.

"How old were we when we met? Five? Six?" Oikawa asked.

"Six," Iwaizumi begrudgingly clarified, unsure where this was going.

Oikawa hummed into the night, "Did you know you were my first real friend?"

Iwaizumi shifted beside him.

"No," Iwaizumi whispered.

******

_It was another hot summer day and the boys, now both newly eight years old, were diving in the crystal clear lake, trying to stave off the melting rays of the sun a little while longer. They had been holding multiple contests for how long they could hold their breath underwater. The winner got to be carried by the loser for the rest of the day._

_Tooru had yet to win once._

_Water droplets sprayed as he shook his brown hair and blinked the water from his eyes, pouting._

_"It's not fair, Iwa-chan! I don't want to carry you all day!"_

_Iwaizumi splashed a wave of water in Tooru's face, "That was the deal and you promised, idiot!"_

_Tooru's small face scrunched up as he wiped his face clear of water droplets, "You're not supposed to use that word."_

_Iwaizumi stuck his tongue out and dove back underwater, leaving the prince to be petulant all by himself._

_Tooru glowered up at the sky, floating on his back and trying to practice holding his breath, keeping it in until his lungs ached and his vision blurred. Tooru still knew it wasn't enough to beat Iwaizumi and that made him irrationally irate._

_Maybe he could talk his way out of carrying Iwaizumi around all day._

_Iwaizumi violently breached the surface right next to Tooru, causing him to yelp and go under momentarily._

_Tooru came back up, sputtering, and rounded on Iwaizumi, only to find him wading back to the shore, cradling yet another large handful of river rocks. Tooru splashed a spiteful wave at his retreating back and continued his peaceful plotting in the water._

_"How about I promise to give you one of my best toys?" Oikawa called out._

_Iwaizumi shook his head, separating his one pile of rocks into two piles of rocks._

_"You promised if I won, you would carry me around the_ whole _day," Iwaizumi reminded him, holding up a rock for inspection, glancing briefly at Tooru floating in the water._

_"But Iwa-chan, I'm tired," Tooru whined, starting a leisurely paddle towards the shore._

_Iwaizumi frowned at the boy before sifting through the smaller pile of rocks, "My dad says you shouldn't make promises you can't keep."_

_Tooru plopped himself beside the other boy, making sure to flick as much water as possible in Iwaizumi's face._

_"I don't want to do it, Iwa-chan," Tooru declared, crossing his arms over his pale chest._

_Iwaizumi had narrowed his rocks down to about four or five and he ran his fingers thoughtfully over each one of them. At the declaration beside him, Iwaizumi glanced up to see the way Tooru's jaw was set and his brow was furrowed. He was impossible to talk to when he got like this._

_"It doesn't have to be today, you can do it tomorrow," Iwaizumi graciously offered, turning his attention back to the drying rocks. His green eyes landed on one in particular that still had a glossy shine to it._

_"I don't want to!" Tooru yelled as his hand swiped at the rocks, sending them flying, some landed in the grass and some landed back in the water with a few scattered 'plops'._

_"Hey!" Iwaizumi cried out, scrambling to find the rock he had seen. He thought it had went in the grass, but the more he looked, the more frustrated he became._

_Coming up empty handed, Iwaizumi sniffled with angry tears and glared at Tooru, who was sitting with his back to him and crossing his arms in defiance._

_"That was mean, Tooru. That wasn't okay," Iwaizumi's small voice shook with all the rage and frustration an eight year old could muster._

_Mouth open to yell back, Tooru turned and stopped short at the sight of green eyes swimming with hot, angry tears. Small, tan hands clenched at Iwaizumi's sides and his childlike shoulders trembled with the effort it took not to burst out crying at the injustice._

_"Iwa-chan! What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Tooru jumped up, reaching for the boy only to be stopped by the look in Iwaizumi's eyes._

_Tooru had never seen Iwaizumi cry._

_Iwa-chan never cried. Even when he fell and his knees got all scraped up and Tooru knew it had to sting. Or when one of the feral cats clawed him and bit at his hands, Tooru would be so scared he would tear up, but Iwa-chan would just grin and shove his fingers in his mouth to stop them from bleeding._

_There were never any tears spilt by the raven. Iwa-chan was really strong, much tougher than Tooru, he knew that for a fact._

_So why was this tough boy shaking with unshed tears all of a sudden?_

_Tooru remembered how his mom used to hold him when he cried and how that made him feel better, so the small prince reached out to Iwaizumi carefully._

_"Don't touch me!" Iwaizumi shouted, startling Tooru. He snapped his hands back and cradled them to his chest._

_"What's wrong, Iwa-chan?" Tooru asked again, quietly._

_Iwaizumi sniffed, going back to combing through the grass, eyes refusing to look anywhere but down. It didn't matter that his vision swam with the unshed tears and he couldn't see anything. He just didn't want Tooru looking at him anymore. He took several deep breaths and felt his hands stop shaking._

_"I spent all day finding those rocks and you messed it all up," Iwaizumi mumbled, rubbing at his nose to keep it from running._

_Iwaizumi felt much calmer now, but his voice was still a little unsteady._

_"They're just dumb rocks," Tooru muttered, kicking out at the larger pile of 'dismissed' rocks beside him._

_Iwaizumi clenched his hands and rubbed them on his knees, "That's not the point, Tooru," Iwaizumi paused to try and think of something to say, something that could explain why he was so frustrated._

_"You were being mean Tooru, and you're not supposed to be mean to your friends," Iwaizumi nodded to himself, that sounded right. He went back to searching, this time turning his attention to the lake. After several seconds, he realized Tooru hadn't said anything._

_Iwaizumi looked up to find Tooru looking at him with tears streaking his face, running from his red rimmed eyes._

_Iwaizumi quickly waded out of the lake, splashing water everywhere, "Tooru? What happened? What's wrong?" Iwaizumi tried to get a look at the boy, but he couldn't see any injuries._

_Tooru sniffled and laughed, pushing Iwaizumi a little, "You called me your friend, Iwa-chan."_

_Iwaizumi furrowed his brow, confused how that explained the boy's tears, "Because you are, idiot."_

_Tooru laughed a little harder, "I don't think you're supposed to call your friends mean words."_

_"Well maybe if my friends didn't have such awful manners, I wouldn't have to," Iwaizumi grumbled. Now that he knew Tooru wasn't physically hurt, Iwaizumi went back to the lake, not giving up on finding that rock again._

_"So what's so special about a bunch of dumb looking rocks?" Tooru murmured behind him, wiping his face off and picking at the seam of his shorts._

_Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, "Maybe to you they're dumb, but I think some of them looked really cool."_

_Tooru looked at the pile of rocks next to him, doubtful, "I don't think so."_

_"Well, one was," Iwaizumi shot back, "It was super shiny and had all these cool shades of brown. It looked just like your eyes and I wanted to show it to you."_

_Tooru's interested was piqued, "That sounds really cool!"_

_Iwaizumi nodded and continued trying to see the bottom of the lake through the ripples. He heard Tooru move behind him, but didn't look to see what he was doing. Iwaizumi was still a little mad at him, so he ignored the brunette for the time being._

_"You said it was real shiny right, Iwa-chan?" Tooru asked._

_"Yeah," Iwaizumi muttered, still concentrating on the lake bed below him._

_Iwaizumi felt a tentative tap on his shoulder and turned to see Tooru offering him something cupped in both his small hands. Tooru gave Iwaizumi a small smile, hoping to be forgiven._

_"Like this?" Tooru asked quietly._

_Iwaizumi grinned and nodded, holding out his hand for Tooru to drop the rock into. He held it up, seeing it catch the sun, shifting the dark mahogany into a bright amber and back. Iwaizumi ran his finger over the sharp cuts of bronze and copper pushing their way through._

_"Is that really what they look like?" Tooru whispered next to him, mesmerized by the shifting colors in the sunlight._

_Iwaizumi frowned lightly and put the rock next to Tooru's head, just at eye level and compared them._

_Iwaizumi squinted and tilted his head, "Pretty close, yeah."_

_"Cool," Tooru grinned, wishing he could show Iwaizumi what his eyes looked like. How the green sometimes reminded him of the sunlight dancing through a canopy of leaves. He'd have to remember to show Iwa-chan next time._

_His Iwa-chan. His friend._

_Iwaizumi grinned back at the prince, outburst of anger thoroughly forgotten, along with the reason they had fought in the first place._

******

Oikawa smiled at the memory, "You were the first person who wouldn't let me just do what I wanted, who called me out when I was being a little brat."

Oikawa sighed softly, wondering what had happened to that special rock all those years ago. Probably at the bottom of some other lake by now.

"Oh, so you knew you were being a little asshole?" Iwaizumi lifted an eyebrow at him.

Oikawa chuckled, "Yeah, sometimes I could get a little too caught up in my own world," he twisted to look at Iwaizumi, "You were the first person to make me think about someone else."

Iwaizumi was glad there was only a faint moonlight tonight, glad it hid his creeping blush as he scoffed, "You make it sound like you were a terrible kid."

Oikawa hummed in response and they let the moment pass by in a comfortable silence before the brunette spoke, voice quiet amid the forest night life.

"Iwaizumi."

Iwaizumi winced at the use of his name, whole and unbroken in Oikawa's mouth. He refused to look at the twin brown orbs following his every move beside him.

"I think I've liked you for a long time. I don't think I understood it when we were younger, but I get it now." Oikawa whispered into the brisk night, pausing to try and fit how he felt into words, "It's like I've always felt your absence, even before I realized you were real."

A small spasm in Iwaizumi's chest made his hands clench out beside him and he avoided Oikawa's watchful eyes.

"That doesn't even make any sense," Iwaizumi mumbled.

"Maybe not," Oikawa smiled softly, "but it doesn't make it untrue."

Iwaizumi felt his whole body ache to move. To move himself closer to Oikawa, or farther away, Iwaizumi had no idea and he didn't want to risk it. So he forced himself to stay still.

Oikawa waited patiently beside him until Iwaizumi finally forced the words up and out of his chest.

"I can't."

Oikawa blinked, lifting his gaze up into the sky.

"Why not?" Oikawa's voice was soft, filled with no malice or spite, just a simple, genuine question.

"I just," Iwaizumi paused, searching for the right words. The words that would get them both out of this with the least amount of damage.

"It's you- you're just," Iwaizumi finally looked over to where Oikawa was gazing up at the stars. Little pinpricks of light glowed in his wide eyes, reflecting the stars. Iwaizumi knew, logically, it was only the stars' light bouncing off the brown eyes, but in that moment, it looked like a whole galaxy swirled, mixing and melding with the light he often found shining in those chocolate pools.

Iwaizumi couldn't bring himself to find a flaw for an excuse. Not with the way the man beside him so effortlessly held entire galaxies behind those eyes.

"I just can't," Iwaizumi finished, lamely.

Oikawa's brow furrowed and he risked a glance at Iwaizumi, only to see him looking up into the sky. Even the prince could tell, Iwaizumi was looking, but he wasn't really seeing. There was something else playing in his mind's eye.

Oikawa sighed, "She was right. You really can't say what you want, can you?"

Iwaizumi's face pulled into a frown, "You think I'm lying?"

"No," Oikawa shook his head, "if you were lying, you'd actually say something. Something like, 'You're just a friend,' or even, 'I'm not into guys'."

Oikawa pulled himself onto his elbows, "The fact that you're not saying anything, is proof enough. So tell me, Iwa," Oikawa pushed himself to the side and held his head in his hand to look at Iwaizumi, "What's so wrong with liking me back?"

Iwaizumi pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

"We're not kids anymore, Oikawa," Iwaizumi whispered, still facing upwards, "It just wouldn't work."

Oikawa twisted his face into an exaggerated frown, "What, you're a fortune-teller now? What makes you so certain?"

Iwaizumi pulled his hands together over his stomach and began twisting the metal bands around his wrists.

"You just don't understand," Iwaizumi murmured, "You have to trust me."

Oikawa reached over with the hand not holding up his head and clutched at the fidgeting, calloused fingers, making them lay still.

"Iwa," Oikawa whispered, "I trust you more than you know. You've saved my life more than any reasonable person would. My trust for you is almost without limits."

Oikawa sighed, "The one thing I don't trust you with- Iwa, look at me."

A reluctant pair of deep green eyes slowly made their way up to where Oikawa's soft brown eyes were waiting patiently. Always so patiently.

Oikawa reached up to brush away a stray leaf from Iwaizumi's short black hair and murmured, "What I don't trust you with, is your own happiness. It's never on your list of priorities, it never even occurs to you that it should be."

Oikawa's fingers threaded tentatively through Iwaizumi's hair, unsure of what liberties he was allowed to take.

"Iwa," Oikawa furrowed his brow and spoke softly into the night, "if I can trust you with my life, do you think you could trust me with your happiness?"

Iwaizumi let himself enjoy the touch for only a moment before pulling on the hand that was buried in his hair, holding onto the wrist.

"It's not that simple, Oikawa," Iwaizumi muttered, trying and failing to let go of the pale wrist in his hand.

Oikawa shifted closer and Iwaizumi felt the prince's breath against his lips and cheek as he whispered, "It could be," Oikawa moved closer, "Please don't run this time."

Unlike the first time their lips met, this time was slow, unhurried, and everything Iwaizumi wished that first kiss had been.

Iwaizumi's heart beat painfully hard in his chest as he brought his hands up to delve deep into Oikawa's thick, brown hair, pulling him closer.

Their lips melded together, barely breaking apart to breathe before diving back in for deeper, more fervent tastes. Who needed oxygen when Oikawa was kissing him like he was trying to steal the very breath from his lungs? If only he knew, Iwaizumi would have given it away freely; it already belonged to the prince anyways.

Oikawa's shoulder ached from holding himself off to the side like that for so long, but there was no way he could stop from leaning on it even more just to be closer to the man next to him.

Iwaizumi's hand left the brown locks to trail down Oikawa's neck before pushing his shoulder and following it to the ground. Oikawa let out a surprised grunt that was quickly swallowed by Iwaizumi as he moved to hover over the brunette. Oikawa smiled into the kiss and felt Iwaizumi doing the same before the raven pulled back momentarily, holding himself up with his arms, caging Oikawa in the most pleasant way.

Opening his eyes, Oikawa only got a glimpse of dark green eyes, blown black with need and want before Iwaizumi grazed his lips down a sharp, pale jawline.

Oikawa sighed, staring up into the wide expanse of the night sky. He had been naming nearly all those constellations up there just a couple hours ago and yet now-an involuntary moan flew from his lips at the feeling of hot suction sliding down the side of his neck.

Oikawa couldn't remember a single goddamn one.

Another light pull at the soft skin of his neck had Oikawa's finger's gripping short, black hair and pulling Iwaizumi closer. He felt their chests meet and realized that when Iwaizumi had pushed him down, the raven had also slotted himself between Oikawa's legs. The prince hummed at the feeling of the back of his thighs being pressed against Iwaizumi's.

Yet another tug against his neck and Oikawa murmured into jet back hair, "Iwa-chan, you keep doing that and there will be marks."

Iwaizumi's teeth lightly pinched Oikawa's earlobe in response and there was no suppressing the pleasant shudder that ran down the brunette's spine as he gasped.

In general, Oikawa didn't have anything against the making or having of marks. In fact, he rather liked the leftover evidence being shown off, either on himself or his partner.

This time though, as Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa's shirt collar off to the side, giving himself more skin to taste, the prince was all too aware of the type of person he was with. He had a nagging suspicion Iwaizumi wouldn't be as pleased with a mark as Oikawa would be. Not yet at least. Oikawa could be patient a little while longer.

For now, Oikawa was content with the soft, shallow kisses pelting his exposed skin like rain. Though rain never felt so warm or gentle.

This softness is not what Oikawa had expected when he had been pushed down so forcefully earlier, but right now, the brunette couldn't think of anything else he'd rather be feeling.

His hips shifted against Iwaizumi's and he revised his thought.

Oikawa could think of _one_ other thing he'd rather feel.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa whispered into the night, feeling breathless.

Iwaizumi shifted and brought their lips together once more, pushing his tongue in and feeling Oikawa's move against it.

Oikawa wasn't sure if Iwaizumi knew what he was going to say and tried to cut him off, or maybe his voice just reminded the raven that there was a better place to put his tongue.

It didn't deter Oikawa from getting his point across. Pressed together like this, there was more than one way to convey a thought.

Nimble fingers left mussed, black hair behind as they travelled across well-defined shoulders, pausing briefly on the bandage under the shirt, just below Iwaizumi's shoulder blade. Deciding that if the raven didn't tell Oikawa he was in pain, the brunette wouldn't be the one to bring it up.

Oikawa continued trailing his fingers down to grip Iwaizumi's hips, nestled right between the brunette's legs. Pressing his fingers into Iwaizumi's hips, Oikawa rolled his own hips, pushing himself against a rather swollen member between them.

Iwaizumi moaned into Oikawa's mouth. The vibrations skittered across the brunette's tongue and warmed his chest.

One of Iwaizumi's arms stayed where it was, supporting him beside Oikawa's chest. The other arm traversed the side of the lean torso under him, feeling just how perfectly it fit in his hands. The hand came to a rest on the side of Oikawa's hips, thumb digging in along the hipbone.

Another lewd roll of the hips beneath him had Iwaizumi biting down gently on Oikawa's bottom lip.

"Fuck," Iwaizumi hissed, pulling back and shifting his weight to the balls of his feet, taking the pleasurable pressure off both their groins.

"Iwa," Oikawa panted, pushing himself up onto his elbows.

"I can't," Iwaizumi gasped into the cold night air, his hands splayed wide across the hips practically in his lap.

"I can't," he repeated, softer, as if to himself.

Oikawa stayed still, watching as Iwaizumi ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the short strands and rubbing his face in his palms.

"You didn't run this time," Oikawa pointed out, softly. He didn't want to raise his voice, afraid that saying anything too loud would remind Iwaizumi he could just get up and leave.

Iwaizumi peered out from between his fingers and shrugged, "You asked me not to."

A warmth spread across Oikawa's chest and he shifted to run a hand through his hair, hoping to hide the effect those words had on him.

"Yeah well, I've asked you a lot of things tonight and you still haven't answered me," Oikawa muttered, miffed.

Iwaizumi sighed, looking up into the sky as his hands moved absent-mindedly to rest on the tops of Oikawa's thighs.

"I can't, Oikawa," Iwaizumi mumbled, miserably.

"I know," Oikawa hummed, shifting his hips back to sit up and place his elbows on his knees, "I don't know _why_ , but I know you mean it when you say it."

Iwaizumi nodded, thankful Oikawa didn't feel the need to press him for more. Not yet at least.

Calloused hands idly began fidgeting with the bands around Iwaizumi's arms and, for once, Oikawa didn't stop him.

After several long minutes, most of which Oikawa and Iwaizumi spent looking up at the endless amount of stars over them, Iwaizumi pulled himself up.

"We should go back inside, it's getting too cold out here," Iwaizumi lowered a hand, offering it to Oikawa.

Oikawa nodded and took the offered hand, letting Iwaizumi pull him effortlessly to his feet.

It took less time than Oikawa thought to find their way back to Rinta's. They both slipped silently into the room they had been offered.

Iwaizumi pulled the extra blanket from its spot at the foot of the bed and laid down on the floor.

"Uh, Iwa-chan, what are you doing?" Oikawa asked.

Iwaizumi turned his back to Oikawa, facing the wall and grumbling, "Going to sleep, Shittykawa, what's it look like?

Oikawa stood in the middle of the room, hands on his hips, "Get up and get in the bed, Iwa-chan. You're the one who had an arrow in the back."

Oikawa lightly nudged the spot with his foot, as if Iwaizumi needed the reminder.

Iwaizumi jerked back, hissing up at the brunette, "You're the one who wanted to sleep in a bed tonight," Iwaizumi rolled back over, muttering to himself, "Spoiled fucking prick."

"Iwa-chan, so mean!" Oikawa pouted.

An idea lit the brunette's face and he grinned down at the man on the floor. Crouching next to him and lowering his voice suggestively, Oikawa murmured in Iwaizumi's ear.

"Why don't you come to bed with me? We can pick up where we left off."

Iwaizumi gave a long-suffering sigh and glared over his shoulder.

"Go to sleep, Oikawa, or we're spending the night outside, in the cold, catching up with the rest of the group."

Oikawa huffed at that, but finally flung himself on the bed and under the covers, sticking his tongue out at Iwaizumi as the raven turned to face the wall again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's wondering, the rock Iwaizumi found is called a tigers eye. It really is a dope looking rock...wish my eyes looked like that ='(
> 
> What?! A flashback AND some smut? Don't get spoiled now haha! (I'm starting to think I'm the only one who loves the flashbacks so much lol)
> 
> Woot-woot what'd y'all think of the barest crumbs of smut? (fluff? Fluffy smut?) I'm god awful at writing that stuff so that took me a solid 2-3 hours just staring at the keyboard, willing my brain to work. Can you imagine how long it would take me to write real smut? *shudders* Hope it was to y'all's liking!
> 
> Ok, holy shit, I did it again and added so much more than intended. Like damn, before I started re-reading this, every one of these chapters had between 7,500-8,000 words. This one has 10,000!! I swear to you guys I had everything spaced out so nice. What have I done?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm not going to lie to you. I hate this chapter. Its ONLY saving grace is the flashback. At least this time y'all might get some answers to a few questions (maayybee...). Everything else is basically just filler and I'm so sorry. It's all just a build up to the next chapter.
> 
> Literally, the only reason this chapter is almost 8,000 words is because I added a whole ass scene that I had been toying with for a while now. Finally just said screw it, I'll add it into this lame ass chapter, maybe spice it up haha.
> 
> Anyways, let's get this over with.

Morning came slow and unwelcome to Iwaizumi. Sitting up and wincing at the aches and pains only sleeping on an uncomfortable floor can give you, he looked over to find the bed against the wall empty. Iwaizumi frowned and got up, finding Rinta sitting in the kitchen, steaming cup of tea in her hands.

Iwaizumi nodded at her and his eyes flitted around the room while he made himself a similar cup.

"He's not here," Rinta said, blowing the steam off her tea and answering Iwaizumi's unspoken question.

Iwaizumi jerked his head to look at her, "What do you mean? Where is he?"

Rinta shrugged, gesturing to the door, "I don't know, he was already gone when I got up about an hour ago."

Iwaizumi cursed and left his undrunk cup still steaming on the counter.

Walking outside to find dawn just barely breaking, Iwaizumi marched up and down the streets, listening for any kind of commotion.

"You absolute fucking moron," Iwaizumi muttered under his breath. He was growing more anxious by the minute.

What exactly had possessed Oikawa to take off like that? Did he not have any sense? Why couldn't he just lay low and stay inside for one fucking day?

Near the edge of town, close to the beginning of the forest, Iwaizumi caught a glimpse of a crowd clumped together and whispering among themselves. Iwaizumi's heart clambered around his chest as he imagined all sorts of terrible things that could draw a crowd like that.

Pushing towards the center of the grouping, Iwaizumi sent up a small prayer, just hoping it wasn't as bad as he thought.

Suddenly, the mass of people gave way as he entered the center, pulling up short and fighting to comprehend exactly what his eyes were seeing.

The first and most important thing he noticed was that Oikawa was indeed there and unharmed. With that weight lifted, Iwaizumi focused more on the situation, which didn't help. He was still at an immense lose for words.

Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi's presence, face flushed a pretty shade of pink and a faint smile on his face. A smile so light, Iwaizumi had a feeling it was unintentional.

Pushing back brown hair, dark with sweat, Oikawa raised a hand and addressed the gathered people, "Look, everyone! All your noise woke up our precious Iwa-chan!"

A light rumble of chuckles wormed its way through the crowd and Iwaizumi fought hard not to blush at the sudden attention.

Stepping closer to Oikawa, Iwaizumi tried to bring his voice low, "What are you doing out here, Shitt-," Iwaizumi cut himself off. Glancing at the group of inquisitive faces. That nickname was too closely associated with Aoba Johsai's royal family to use freely here.

"What were you thinking?" Iwaizumi hissed.

Oikawa laughed and brandished the axe in his hand, "I couldn't sleep, so now, these fine ladies and gentlemen are teaching me how to chop firewood."

"He's so bad it's almost painful to watch," a man piped up from the crowd, inciting another round of laughter.

"Kentaro! We've been over this," Oikawa whined, still smiling, "just because I'm slow, doesn't mean I'm terrible. Maybe I just like to take my time!"

A scoff sounded somewhere, "Any more time and we'll all die of old age."

More laughter.

Oikawa feigned offense with a hand to his chest, "Such harsh words from such lovely people. Well, at least I know you come by it honestly, Iwa-chan," the brunette threw a wink to the confused raven, who responded with a deeper furrowing of his brow.

Iwaizumi moved closer and dropped his voice so Oikawa would be the only one to hear.

"Did you forget there's someone out there looking to kill you?"

Oikawa twitched beside him, his light smile fading as he pursed his lips.

Iwaizumi continued, softer, "Please come back inside."

Oikawa bit his lip and looked down, kicking a small piece of wood.

Feeling like he got his point across, Iwaizumi turned to go back to Rinta's when Oikawa's voice piped up behind him, ringing unnecessarily loud across the hushed crowd.

"I have decided to accept your wood chopping challenge, Iwa-chan!"

Iwaizumi stopped dead in his tracks and slowly turned to look at Oikawa in astonishment.

This little _asshole_.

The raven ground his teeth together at the shear amount of balls this man must have to not only ignore Iwaizumi, but challenge him in the same sentence.

The man in question leaned heavily on his axe and gave him the most cocksure grin Iwaizumi had ever seen.

The crowd around them shifted their attention to the raven and Iwaizumi could physically feel their excitement growing. It felt like a static charge in the air.

Iwaizumi splayed his empty hands, "I don't even have an axe," _you fucker_ , the last part was silent, but Iwaizumi saw his meaning come across in the way Oikawa's eyes sparked with amusement.

"I see, that would be a problem," Oikawa said thoughtfully, bringing a calculating finger to his chin as he turned slightly to address the gathered people, "I don't suppose anyone out there has an axe they'd be willing to let the man borrow?"

Not ten seconds later, Iwaizumi stood next to an immense pile of un-chopped wood, axe in hand, and debating whether he should chop the wood or a certain someone's limbs.

Iwaizumi watched as Oikawa smiled at the gathering crowd. A halfway genuine smile, which was far more than the raven had expected. The prince just looked so comfortable in the spotlight, at ease in a way Iwaizumi would never understand.

Pale cheeks still flush from the earlier exertion, Oikawa tilted his head back to laugh at something a younger boy jeered at him. His hair fanned out around his head and his whole body shook with carefree mirth.

Iwaizumi had forgotten the prince could laugh like that.

As if hearing his thoughts, Oikawa tilted his head and looked over at the raven, chocolate brown eyes alight in the morning sun.

Oikawa smiled a small, private smile, just for Iwaizumi. It was different from his earlier ones. The ones before seemed to take up his whole face, bright enough to distract people from the hollowness of it. And now, it was almost too fast for Iwaizumi to catch, but the raven couldn't deny that he saw it. No less bright than the ones before, but smaller.

It was like looking at the sun too long before remembering it was also a star. Those beautiful pinpricks of light in the night sky shone bright enough to make it all the way through that darkness and come out the other side, smaller, but no less radiant.

Oikawa widened his grin as he spoke, theatrically.

"Just say the word, Iwa-chan," Oikawa pointed the axe at him before slinging it over his shoulders, readying himself for the race, "Since you're hurt, I think I'll go easy on you."

Iwaizumi scoffed, competitive spirit thoroughly inflamed, "The day I need you to go easy on me, is the day I willingly throw myself off the highest cliff I can find."

A loud, boisterous round of laughter sounded, much louder than before, and Iwaizumi scratched the back of his head to hide his discomfort with the attention. Thankfully, Oikawa didn't let him have center stage for too long.

"Ok, I guess I'll start the countdown," Oikawa's brown eyes glittered with determination and the taste of a challenge.

"Three."

Long, nimble fingers squeezed the wood of the axe handle, a motion shared by the sturdy, strong hands across from him.

"Two."

A grin plastered itself across the taller man's face and Iwaizumi couldn't help the slight upward tilt of his own lips.

"One."

The noise from the crowd had tapered to a low rumble, everyone eager to see the outcome of this ridiculous competition.

"Go!"

The shout rang out, followed quickly by the thud of both axes. Iwaizumi grunted softly, feeling a sharp tug around where his wound was on his back. He'd have to be careful not to overdo it or Rinta might actually kill him.

Flinging another log up on the chopping block, Iwaizumi began grinning in earnest. He had spent weeks traveling into Aoba Johsai, only to turn around and come right back. Almost two months had passed since he had been able to do any honest labor and, gods, did he miss it. He missed the way his body heated up in the chilly autumn air, how his breaths came in puffs, the way his body responded easily to him, pushing for more.

Iwaizumi built up an easy rhythm, getting lost in the motions until a familiar, light laugh broke through his concentration. Looking up, he saw Oikawa panting just as hard as he was, leaning over the upturned axe.

"You win! I give, I give! Mercy, please!" Oikawa wheezed, grin still in place as he waved his hand in surrender.

A round of applause surrounded them and Iwaizumi glanced around, somewhat surprised at the amount of people clapping him on the back, congratulating him. A few people even made their way over to Oikawa and gave him a 'nice try' knock to the shoulder, which he accepted gracefully.

One of the elders of the village chuckled, leaning in to Iwaizumi, "The things you young 'uns find amusing nowadays tickles an old man like me pink."

Iwaizumi huffed an awkward laugh, hand running over the back of his neck, "Sorry, sir. The situation kind of got away from me."

"No need for all that, Iwaizumi-sama," the old man smiled up at him, clapping him on the shoulder, "It's good to see you enjoying yourself. You've turned into a fine young man, haven't you?"

Iwaizumi shifted on his feet, ducking his head like the kid he sometimes felt like he still was.

"I've still got a ways to go, sir," Iwaizumi mumbled.

The old man stayed silent, turning his attention to Oikawa, who was tilting his head back and laughing at something. The elder cleared his throat and pulled his cloak tighter around himself, "Well, I know it's been a while, but if you're interested, the whole town's coming out to celebrate the new moon tonight," he shrugged and tilted his head towards Oikawa, "since everyone's taken such a shine to the boy, it might be fun to bring him along."

"What might be fun?" Oikawa's voice piped up from across the crowd.

Iwaizumi groaned internally, ignoring the brunette bouncing over to be included in the conversation.

Iwaizumi spoke to the elder, "We would like to stay, but there's somewhere important we need to be, I hope you understand," Iwaizumi inclined his head and went to grab Oikawa's elbow to drag them both back, but Oikawa's arm slipped from his grasp.

"We'd love to stay!" Oikawa turned to the raven, a pleading look on his face, "Iwa-chan, how could you turn down an invitation from these fine people?"

It was a good thing for the prince that there were witnesses, because Iwaizumi had half a mind to strangle Oikawa.

The raven opened his mouth to tell him off, remind him now wasn't the time for such nonsense, but he paused at the way Oikawa was staring at him.

It wasn't fair. The universe really said, 'fuck you,' to Iwaizumi and made this man's face his biggest temptation in life. Put the prince here to crumble his whole resolve with that look on his face. A look that would put puppies and kittens to shame.

And Iwaizumi hated that he wasn't strong enough to resist it.

Iwaizumi balled his hands into fists and spoke through clenched teeth, "Are you sure that's what you want to do?"

He left a lot of things unsaid, like, 'There's still someone after you,' 'People might not fully accept you,' and even, 'One of us needs to be the responsible one.'

Oikawa either didn't hear the unspoken additions or he chose to ignore them.

Soft brown eyes lit up as the prince nodded, grinning like a fool and turning back to the old man, "We'll be there!"

The elder raised a small eyebrow at Iwaizumi, but said nothing, only chuckling to himself as he nodded and walked away.

Iwaizumi turned stiffly back to Rinta's with an overly interested Oikawa shadowing him, pestering the raven with questions. Iwaizumi ignored him until they closed the door to the house and he rounded on the taller man.

"What the fuck, Shittykawa?" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

Oikawa pursed his lips and put his hands on his hips at the confrontation, he'd been expecting the backlash. Honestly, it was a wonder they had made it all the way back to the house before Iwaizumi snapped at him.

"Would you relax?" Oikawa said flippantly, "All those stress lines age a person, you know."

"We shouldn't even be here!" Iwaizumi cried out, throwing his hands wide, dropping them hastily as his back gave a hot throb of pain.

Oikawa crossed his arms, "But we are, so why not enjoy it? Just a little."

Iwaizumi buried his hands in his unruly hair, clutching at the strands to ground him and remind himself not to get so worked up.

Oikawa watched the raven in distress. This didn't feel right. It felt like there was more Iwaizumi wasn't saying and Oikawa scoffed at the thought because _of course_ there were more things Iwaizumi was keeping from him.

The prince sighed, looking down at the floor, "We don't have to go if you think it's a bad idea. I just-," Oikawa shrugged, shuffling his feet, "I just really wanted to get to know the people here."

"I think it's a good idea, Iwaizumi-sama."

Both men looked over at Rinta standing in the doorway leading to the kitchen. She gave a small smile to Oikawa before turning to look at Iwaizumi.

"It could be worse," Rinta tried to hide a tiny, mischievous smile behind her hand.

Iwaizumi gave her a look that very clearly let her know she wasn't helping and asked, "How so?"

"Could be a _full_ moon celebration," Rinta snickered, enjoying the color that rose on Iwaizumi's cheeks.

"Rinta, this is serious," Iwaizumi carded his hands through his hair again, hoping to distract himself with real issues.

Rinta rolled her eyes, "Always so serious."

Iwaizumi ignored her and Oikawa leaned forward, "I'm not an idiot, Iwa."

Iwaizumi looked to the prince and recognized the look on his face immediately. The set jaw, the small crease in the center of his forehead, the bright eyes, wide with focus and a purpose. It really was impossible to deter him when his face got like that.

Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

"We can't stay here," Iwaizumi's voice came out softer this time, pleading with Oikawa.

Oikawa's face softened, but not enough, "We went over a waterfall, hid in a cave, and trekked through miles of forest to get here. There's no way someone could have followed us."

"You don't know that," Iwaizumi muttered.

"Neither do you!" Oikawa threw up his hands in exasperation, "If you want to leave so badly, then tell me why."

Iwaizumi opened his mouth, but Oikawa rushed to talk over him, "And don't tell me it's because you think we were followed. There's another reason, I know there is."

Iwaizumi snapped his mouth shut and clenched his hands by his side. His brow furrowed as he tried to think of something to say.

 _It doesn't have to be the truth_ , his traitorous brain whispered to him, _anything, tell him anything._

But nothing came out.

Iwaizumi could think of nothing to say that wouldn't make everything crumble down around him. Nothing that wouldn't make the prince ask too many questions and ruin their chances of reaching their destination. So he didn't say anything.

Oikawa waited as long as he could stand the silence, which turned out to not be as long as he thought. The prince turned, passing Rinta on his way to the room and sat on the bed, sighing deeply to himself.

Iwaizumi watched him go, rooted to the spot just in front of the door.

He was such a coward. His fists tightened by his side as his heart thundered in his chest.

This is so stupid.

_Tell him already, enough is enough. Tell him and you won't have to worry about things like last night happening ever again. Let him hate you._

Iwaizumi was familiar with hate, he could understand it. No part of him doubted that he deserved it for the things he'd done.

Hate, to him, was safe. Easy. Anger too. Both emotions were clear, simple things. It took no effort to let them wash over him, drown him. Much easier to name than whatever was happening to his chest right now.

It hurt. It really fucking hurt and Iwaizumi placed a hand just below his collarbone to ease the pain. It was difficult to identify what felt so familiar about this feeling. He hadn't felt this for years. When was it again?

Iwaizumi's fist clenched on his chest at the memory this feeling dragged up.

******

_It was the day after Tooru had been shot and poisoned. The prince grew more flushed and had yet to open his eyes, not even once throughout the night. Iwaizumi knew because he hadn't closed his once._

_The way the sun rose left the boys no shade to crowd in. Iwaizumi put a hand to Tooru's forehead for the tenth time in as many minutes. His brows knotted together. Still way too hot, the damp cloth wasn't doing anything to help anymore. It was like spitting water on a wildfire._

_Iwaizumi pushed his arms under the limp body of the boy and strained to stand up, stumbling slightly with the extra weight._

_Carrying Tooru this way proved to be much harder than it was yesterday and Iwaizumi had to focus hard not to trip over the loose rocks beside the flowing river. The raven fell to a knee, barely keeping Tooru in his arms._

_People's bodies weren't supposed to be this hot. Iwaizumi could feel the heat from Tooru's skin radiating through his clothes. How much more of this could his small body take?_

_Just then, Tooru jerked upright, nearly slamming his head into Iwaizumi's face. In his surprise, Iwaizumi let him go, falling back and letting Tooru tumble down onto the pebbles with the sound of crunching rocks._

_"Tooru!" Iwaizumi shouted, scrambling to make sure his friend was ok._

_Then Tooru screamed._

_The sound shot straight through Iwaizumi and echoed throughout the forest. A terrible, fight-or-flight scream. Iwaizumi had never heard another person make a noise like that and it terrified him, shook him to his core._

_The screaming stopped just long enough for Tooru to breathe in and start again with the same gut-wrenching pitch. It took Iwaizumi too long to realize the prince was actually saying words. The raven couldn't make them out, but he saw Tooru's mouth moving, shaping some kind of half-conversation._

_"Tooru, stop! You're ok!" Iwaizumi was hesitant to touch him, afraid his hands might be the straw that broke the camel's back._

_Tooru sat on his knees, hunched over, screaming into the rocks on the ground with his hands in his hair, gripping and pulling at the sides of his face. It didn't look like he heard Iwaizumi._

_Tooru's voice broke and Iwaizumi saw there were tears pouring from his eyes, splashing on the dry surface of the pebbles, turning them a darker, melancholy color. The sight caused Iwaizumi's chest to nearly cave in on itself._

_Iwaizumi's hands shook as he kneeled down behind his friend and wrapped his arms around the abnormally hot chest. Iwaizumi gripped Tooru's wrists, pulling his hands gently to keep him from scratching at his own face._

_"Tooru, please!" Iwaizumi begged._

_Iwaizumi was scared, more scared than yesterday, when this whole mess started with that man and his poisoned arrow._

_This was different. How do you fight something you can't see?_

_"Please," his voice whispered into Tooru's ear. Iwaizumi's arms still pressed the smaller boy to his chest. His skin was on fire, but Iwaizumi ignored it, focusing on the steadily decreasing wailing._

_As the screaming lessened in volume, Iwaizumi was finally able to understand what Tooru had been saying._

_Tooru's head hung low, sweaty bangs plastered against his forehead as he continued whispering his mantra into the arms that held him._

_"Please, don't leave," Tooru whimpered, "I can do better, I swear, no, don't go."_

_It repeated over and over again, jumbling together until it sounded like one, long whine._

_"I'm here, Tooru, it's ok," Iwaizumi whispered, trying to get the brunette to hear him._

_The whimpering trailed off and Tooru sniffled, "Iwa-chan?"_

_Iwaizumi nodded, a wave of relief flooding through him at the childish nickname. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of the raven's face and fell onto Tooru's shoulder._

_"It's me," Iwaizumi murmured._

_"It hurts, Iwa-chan," Tooru groaned, digging his knees deeper into the rocks._

_"I know it does," Iwaizumi wiped the sweat from his brow by burying his face in his shoulder._

_"Don't leave me, ok?" Tooru's voice was fading fast and Iwaizumi barely heard him over the soft rush of the water._

_"I won't," Iwaizumi whispered, brushing Tooru's hair from his face, "I'm right here."_

_Tooru nodded slowly, relieved._

_Looking up, Iwaizumi glanced at the lazily flowing river next to them. It trickled slowly away from them, an ambivalent audience to their pain._

_An idea landed in Iwaizumi's mind. An extremely terrible idea. Possibly the worst he'd ever had in his short life._

_Iwaizumi began pulling the both of them towards the flowing water._

_Tooru gasped at the movement, but it seemed like all his energy had been spent in whatever horrid hallucination he had been in. The prince slumped into Iwaizumi and let himself be dragged into the cold water._

_Both boys gasped at the sudden temperature change as they laid down and floated down river. Tooru's head fell back into the place where Iwaizumi's neck met his shoulder. Iwaizumi glanced down to see the brunette fall back into unconsciousness as the water cooled his heated skin._

_Keeping the prince's head above water, Iwaizumi brushed the long hair back from his flushed face and waited for any significant changes._

_Iwaizumi couldn't believe he hadn't thought of this sooner. Following the water would easily put them almost three-quarters of the way to Aoba Johsai. He sighed at himself and squinted up into the bright, summer sky as they floated along like driftwood._

_It was hard not to fall asleep in the welcoming chill of the water. Iwaizumi caught himself sinking farther and farther down in his exhaustion. Just before the sun set, Iwaizumi deemed Tooru's body temperature good enough to get out of the water and look for shelter._

_Dripping wet and shaking with fatigue, the raven pulled them both to sit against a tree. Iwaizumi laid his head back, ignoring the way his soaked shirt pulled up, allowing the bark to bite into the skin on his back. Iwaizumi shifted and focused on the light breathing of the boy he still had crushed to his chest._

_Iwaizumi couldn't seem to let the prince go. No matter how hard he tried, the second his grip loosened, Iwaizumi heard the piercing screams and pleas echoing off the surface of the water and through the trees. Despite Tooru being unconscious, he heard the screams loud and clear._

_Iwaizumi didn't think he could stomach hearing that sound again._

_With Tooru's arms crossed against his chest and his back against Iwaizumi, the raven let his head fall forward, joining his friend in a fitful state of unconsciousness._

_***_

_Iwaizumi blinked awake in the darkness, unsure what had woken him at first. He checked Tooru's breathing and temperature, relieved when they were both normal._

_A small twig snapped behind him and before Iwaizumi could turn to see what it was, he felt cold, sharp steel pressed into the soft skin of his neck._

_A deep voice growled in his ear, emotionless and cold._

_"Don't move."_

_Iwaizumi instinctively clutched Tooru tighter, making the smaller boy whimper slightly into the night. The man did not appreciate the movement and pressed the steel harder into his neck._

_Iwaizumi felt his heartbeat thunder in his ears, it was truly a miracle the sound didn't bring Tooru out of his blackout. The raven stifled a whimper at the small sting of the metal delicately piercing his skin._

_"You royally fucked this up for us, you know that? Little brat," the voice hissed in Iwaizumi's ear._

_The boy swallowed, a small, warm trickle of blood slid down his neck._

_Iwaizumi had just started physical training with his father and was confident his smaller body could move through the forest faster than this man._

_Iwaizumi looked down at the unconscious body laying on top of him._

_He couldn't leave Tooru like that._

_The voice continued talking, "Now I have to figure out what to do with you."_

_"You can't kill me," Iwaizumi spoke up, voice wavering with nerves, "My father would stop at nothing to take revenge."_

_The man laughed humorlessly at the bold statement, before spitting back, "Oh, I know exactly who you are, little boy. Which is why I'm so pissed off."_

_The man sighed, singing to himself, "What to do, what to do."_

_Iwaizumi was ashamed to admit that he was too scared to look back at the face behind him. The voice was terrible enough, but maybe if he didn't see his face, the raven could pretend this wasn't real._

_"Why are you doing this?" Iwaizumi whispered, unable to think of anything else to say and unsure if he actually wanted to know the answer._

_The man hummed, probably debating about whether to tell him or not._

_"I guess you can say the short answer is because he met you."_

_Iwaizumi felt his heart sink in his chest. Was this all his fault?_

_The raven looked down at Tooru's relaxed face, at odds with the tense situation around him. Iwaizumi looked at the prince like he would magically wake up, smiling and telling him it wasn't true._

_And he'd do it too. It didn't matter if it was true or not, Tooru would tell Iwaizumi whatever he needed to be ok._

_Iwaizumi clutched at the pale, limp arms. He didn't need to feel better right now. What he needed was the truth._

_The raven set his small jaw and gritted out, "What's that mean?"_

_The man sighed and Iwaizumi heard him shuffle behind him, he guessed to sit down. The cold steel moved to a spot between his shoulder blades and Iwaizumi resisted the urge to wipe the blood from his neck._

_"He's grown too soft with you. Every time someone mentions Seijoh, all the boy talks about is his best friend from there," the man scoffed as if the mere notion was ridiculous, "He's getting too old for us to keep convincing him you're imaginary. So our problem now becomes how to dissolve this little attachment he seems to have to you."_

_Iwaizumi shifted, feeling the small scrape of the weapon on his back._

_"He almost died," Iwaizumi spat._

_How could someone who knows Tooru be so heartless? The boy practically wears his heart on his sleeve, doing everything he can to bring a smile to everyone's face._

_At least that's how he's always been with Iwaizumi._

_"That was the point," the man chuckled, causing Iwaizumi's anger to spark, "I'll admit, plan 'A' was to bring his dead body back with the poisoned arrow as proof. It would've been easy to blame it on Seijoh."_

_"W-why?" Iwaizumi could barely manage that one word, chest so tight every beat of his heart felt painful._

_The man chuckled again, but this time was darker, more sinister and the sound sent a shiver down Iwaizumi's spine._

_"Because I hate you people. You're all worthless, wastes of space, doing nothing with yourselves and the land you occupy. You do nothing but sit around your fires and think you're better than you are," the metal inched forward, making Iwaizumi lean into Tooru to get away from the deadly point, "If his son were to die by your hands, I'd finally get all the support I need to wipe you people off the map."_

_Iwaizumi had never heard someone speak with such hate and disgust in their voice. It made his blood ice over and his muscles freeze up._

_His breathing came faster as his heart tried to escape his chest. Numb fingers gripped and pulled Tooru closer to him as the raven's head fell forward to find small comfort in the brown strands under his nose._

_Everything was ok, Iwaizumi tried to tell himself. This man couldn't kill him, he'd admitted to it earlier, his life was safe, there was no need to be so scared._

_Iwaizumi inhaled deeply, catching the faint honey scent he knew was Tooru. He buried his face deeper._

_Tooru would never say those things to him, those terrible thoughts would never even cross his mind._

_If only he was awake right now, Iwaizumi just knew his friend would know what to do. He always did. Tooru was always the one coming up with ideas for them throughout the day and it was Iwaizumi's job to see those plans through. If Iwaizumi was the musician, Tooru was the composer, bringing beauty and purpose to Iwaizumi's movements. It could happen again. Right here, right now._

_If only Tooru would open his eyes._

_"Look kid, maybe we can work something out. How's that sound?"_

_Iwaizumi didn't like this man, didn't like the way he talked. It was too smooth, empty, lifeless, as if the man held no soul._

_"Like what?" Iwaizumi murmured, head still ducked deep into brown hair._

_"I bring him back to Aoba Johsai, make sure he gets medical care and he can stay alive. It might not be too late to start making him see things our way. In return, you never come around here again."_

_Iwaizumi shook his head, letting the honey from Tooru strengthen him, "I don't trust you."_

_The boy had meant for his voice to sound strong, self-assured. But what came out was weak and shaky._

_The man laughed lightly behind him, "That's fair I suppose."_

_He sighed and Iwaizumi felt the sharp pressure from the steel disappear from his back._

_"Look kid, you can carry him as far as you'd like to make sure he gets there. Would that make you feel better?"_

_Iwaizumi hesitated, it_ would _make him feel better to see Tooru safely in Aoba Johsai with his own eyes._

_"He'll be safe," the man continued, "There's no reason for us to hurt him as long as you keep your distance."_

_The voice hardened behind him, "But if we hear anything about you coming around him again, we won't miss his heart next time."_

_Iwaizumi shivered at the threat in the older man's voice. He looked down, once again, only to see Tooru's eyes still closed, mouth slightly open in unconsciousness._

_The raven would give anything to see the warm, chocolate brown eyes dancing in front of him._

_He'd always loved the color of Tooru's eyes, he saw it back home in the freshly turned dirt, open and ready to give life into much needed plants. He saw it in the shifting color in the bark of trees throughout the forest, all the same and yet each so different._

_To Iwaizumi, Tooru's eyes meant home. They meant warmth, life, cleverness, and so many other things he still had yet to name._

_There was nothing he needed more than his best friend right now._

_"You'll let me carry him?" Iwaizumi had yet to hear his voice sound the way he wanted it to. His hands shook, but the raven refused to let go of Tooru's wrists._

_"If you insist on it, yes," the man sounded like he was talking to a petulant child and Iwaizumi felt the loathing flare deep in his stomach._

_If Iwaizumi was right, there were only a few miles left until they crossed into Aoba Johsai's lands. At most, it would only take him a couple hours carrying Tooru on his back._

_Iwaizumi looked up at the sky, seeing the first hints of dawn tinting the edges pink with the coming sun. He nodded to the man behind him._

_"I'll do it," Iwaizumi declared, finally happy with the way his voice sounded in the early morning._

_Green eyes dropped to dark, full lashes, stubbornly refusing to open. Now wasn't the time to be stubborn, Tooru._

_Guilt gnawed at the back of Iwaizumi's mind and festered in the pit of his stomach, thinking about how it was all his fault. He had no one else to blame for the loss of the animated, mahogany eyes._

_Iwaizumi had been too selfish with Tooru, keeping his ethereal laughs and brilliant smiles to himself for all these years. Never letting the younger boy talk him into seeing his house or meeting his friends back home._

_It had always been a point of contention with them and eventually, Tooru had stopped asking so often and so seriously. The prince had gotten good at lacing his requests with amusement, as if ready to play it off as a joke at a moment's notice._

_Iwaizumi brushed a hand across the thick, chestnut strands, caked with dirt and hanging limply around his face from the dirty river water they had crawled out of hours ago._

_It shouldn't hurt this much, Iwaizumi thought._

_He'd known for years this friendship he had found himself in was a little off. A little strange. It was clear in the way Matsukawa tilted his head in mild amusement whenever he mentioned Tooru's name. The way his parents talked about it when they thought he had gone to bed. His mother's anxious voice, her thin fingers grasping at each other as his father tried to comfort her. Iwaizumi was too afraid to ask what made her so nervous._

It shouldn't hurt, _he thought._

_It didn't stop his chest from aching with a phantom pain._

_"I'll do it," Iwaizumi murmured again, mostly to himself._

_The man hummed behind him, making no move to stop Iwaizumi when he shifted Tooru's body to drape over his back. The raven stood on shaking legs and prayed his body would be ok for at least the next couple hours._

_Please just let his legs carry them to Aoba Johsai. It was honestly the least Iwaizumi could do._

_Each step was further proof to Iwaizumi that he had already convinced himself he could do this. If leaving Tooru behind meant the boy would be safe, Iwaizumi would do whatever was asked of him._

_Whatever was asked of him. Always._

_The miles Iwaizumi walked had never seemed so long and so short all at the same time. The raven stared ahead at the splotches on the horizon, slowly morphing themselves into small houses._

_Iwaizumi stared and tried not to think about how desperately he wished his small, still forming body could outmaneuver the watchful adult behind them._

_Tried not to think about how soul-shattering Tooru's cries had been. How his voice broke when he screamed into the wilderness asking Iwaizumi not to leave._

_Tried not to think about how that's exactly what he was doing._

******

It was this feeling, Iwaizumi realized as he stood in the middle of Rinta's house, hands shaking and chest aching. The feeling that he was losing something important to him. Like every step forward was a step away from what he actually wanted. The feeling of something special slipping through his fingers.

"Fuck," Iwaizumi muttered, diving his hands into his black hair again.

"He's a nice man, Iwaizumi-sama," the raven jumped at the sound of Rinta's voice. He had forgotten she was there, "He deserves to know whatever you're keeping from him."

Iwaizumi stared at her, shaking his head lightly, "I can't."

Honestly, he should just get those words tattooed on his forehead with the amount of times he's said them in the past twenty-four hours.

Rinta rolled her eyes at him, "You can, you just don't want to. You're smart enough to know the difference."

Iwaizumi shot her a look, unable to say she was wrong and he hated it.

Everything he was doing was for purely selfish reasons. At least that much hadn't changed over the years.

Kissing Oikawa like that in the forest was selfish. Letting it go on as long as it did was selfish. His silence right now was selfish.

Iwaizumi knew he was being mean and self-centered. All because he didn't want to lose the way Oikawa still looked at him with his kind, brown eyes, alight with something unnamable when he looked at Iwaizumi.

Rinta watched Iwaizumi's eyebrows pull together in thought and she continued, voice softer, "I think you'd be surprised at his reaction."

Iwaizumi mumbled something under his breath that escaped Rinta's hearing and turned to duck out the door.

Rinta shook her head as the door closed. Honestly, in some ways he was just like he was when he was a child.

She thought about the acute distress, pooling in deep green eyes.

And in some ways, he may have grown up too much.

The small woman sighed and went to the extra room she had given to the two travelers and looked in on Oikawa.

His tall frame curved in on itself as he sat on the edge of the bed. His head rested on his hands, propped up on his knees by his elbows. Rinta cleared her throat and he looked up at her through the hair covering his eyes.

"He stepped out for a minute," Rinta gestured behind her.

Oikawa nodded, sitting up straight, "I heard the door, I figured that was him."

His fingers dropped to fiddle with the edge of the blanket on the bed.

"He'll tell you when he's ready."

Oikawa hummed, "And not a second sooner, right?" He let out a tired chuckle, "He's always been pretty stubborn. Never could talk him into anything he didn't want to do."

Oikawa lifted a hand to brush his thumb against his lower lip in thought.

Rinta moved into the room, sitting next to Oikawa on the bed.

"How long have you known him?" Rinta asked softly.

Oikawa glanced over at her, dropping his hand, "Not as long as you have, but we met when we were six and hung out almost every day until we were about twelve," Oikawa paused, tilting his head to the side, "Well, he was twelve, I think I was still eleven, but only for about a month."

Oikawa shrugged, "I don't know what happened, but a couple weeks after his birthday, he just suddenly stopped showing up."

Rinta furrowed her brows, "The summer he turned twelve?"

"Yeah," Oikawa nodded, running his fingers over the blanket under him. Rinta didn't respond, so he looked over to see an odd look on her face.

"Does that mean something to you?" Oikawa asked.

Rinta hesitated, sure Iwaizumi wouldn't like her discussing his past so openly, but she decided this poor guy had been in the dark for long enough. At least it felt ok to tell him this much.

"Iwaizumi-sama changed soon after he turned twelve," Rinta chewed her lip, unsure how to put what she had seen into words.

"His family traveled a lot and so we all saw him off and on over the years, but after his birthday, we didn't see him much. And every time he came through, I just couldn't shake the feeling that he had lost something. Like something was missing," Rinta shrugged, she was probably reading too much into it.

Then again, she could still see Iwaizumi's eyes, how sad they always looked after he turned twelve. How many times had she seen him lose concentration in the middle of a conversation as he simply stared into the forest? How long had it taken for his eyes to come back to some semblance of life?

Rinta pressed her fingers together in her lap. Seeing Iwaizumi now, she was reminded of the little boy she remembered. The little boy who dug through her herb garden looking for 'cool-looking' bugs to show her.

That boy had lively, green eyes and a smile so bright it could weld all the cracks in your heart together. Over the past day, since he had woken up, she had caught small glimpses of that boy.

He was there in the way the raven sometimes looked at the man next to her whenever he thought no one was looking, his normally sharp face softened just the slightest bit around the edges. His eyes had more color in them than she'd seen in years. It truly warmed her heart to see it.

Rinta squeezed her hands in her lap and took a deep breath.

"Do you know what the Seven Elementals are?"

Oikawa blinked owlishly at the woman next to him.

"I don't think I do, no."

Rinta nodded as if she wasn't surprised, "Do you believe in magic, Tooru?"

Oikawa was completely lost with this whole conversation.

"I guess so," Oikawa couldn't entirely dismiss it out of hand. He thought back to the woman in the forest. It was entirely possible what he was talking to was no hallucination. That woman had felt too real. Too ethereal to come from any part of his brain.

"I suppose magic is too strong a word," Rinta tapped her fingers on her palm, thoughtfully, "It's more like a focus point of the world's energy."

Oikawa tried his best to follow as Rinta explained.

"All things in life give off energy. It's everywhere, all around us. The air you breathe, the ground you walk, the water drink," Rinta gestured vaguely around the room, "And some people, the first people to belong to Seijoh, some say. A handful of these people were given access to that energy."

Oikawa nodded, with her so far.

"Those were the first Seven Elementals. They were given," Rinta paused, looking for the right word, " _gifts_ to match the element they resonated with."

"I thought there were only four elements," Oikawa pointed out.

Rinta nodded, "There's the four main ones of course. Fire, air, water, and earth. But there's also the three subjective elements. Light, dark, and spirit."

Oikawa hummed. He'd never heard of those before and wondered what _gifts_ they possessed.

"So, is Iwaizumi one of the Seven Elementals?" Oikawa asked, curious.

Rinta huffed a small laugh, "Oh dear, no. He's ah," she shifted her gaze across the room, "Iwaizumi-sama is different."

Oikawa humphed, not happy with the non-answer.

Rinta smiled softly and patted his shoulder, "I'm telling you this because I want to give you something."

Oikawa raised his eyebrows and looked over to where she was watching him with an oddly intense look on her face.

"Um, ok, sure."

Rinta stood up and came back with a long object in her hands, wrapped loosely in an old cloth. Sitting back down beside Oikawa, Rinta pursed her lips and folded the cloth down.

Oikawa had never seen handles so beautiful. He'd only heard about this stone, but he'd never seen it before today. Opal, he believed. It's pearly sheen overlaying microscopic rainbows. The cloth slid to reveal the rest of the objects.

One was a set of twin blades, shorter and thinner than Iwaizumi's daggers. More delicate. The strap connected to the sheaths was clearly meant to go on a wrist, possibly under clothes.

The other was a flat sword, a little over half the length of his arm. The sheath had a bright red cloth tied to the top and bottom of it, made to sling over someone's chest.

Oikawa could do nothing but stare at the beautiful weapons.

"I can't take these," Oikawa shook his head. He wouldn't feel right taking something so valuable as a gift.

"It's not up to me, Tooru."

Oikawa looked up, confused.

"I told you the Seven were given gifts," she nodded to the knife, "These are part of it."

"You're one of them?" Oikawa whispered in awe.

Rinta smiled, an old pride hidden in her eyes, "I was. I'm not anymore."

"But you still have these?"

"It's a long story. One that's extremely complicated, even to someone from here," Rinta explained.

"Rinta," Oikawa muttered, hesitantly, "These don't belong to me. These are clearly part of your history and I can't just take them."

Rinta nodded, "I understand and I'm sure the others would agree with you," she sighed, "I'm not even supposed to be showing you these or telling you any of this."

Rinta looked up at his concerned face, "If you truly don't want them, it's not something that can be forced on someone," Rinta shifted the weapons in her lap, studying them intently, "I just get this feeling you're supposed to have them."

"Why?" Oikawa asked quietly.

"I can't explain it," Rinta's face pinched, thumbing the cloth, "I don't hear voices or anything like that, but I'm more in-tune with these weapons than anyone else. They've been mine longer than any other member of the Seven before me."

Again the thought crossed Oikawa's mind that she really didn't look all that old to him.

"And I told you magic was too strong a word for it," Rinta looked up at him before going back down to the blades, "It's more like a dulled thrumming."

Oikawa frowned. He didn't feel anything like that.

Rinta sighed and pulled the cloth back over the weapons, "You don't have to accept them right now. You can take your time, think about it and when you're ready, let me know so I can prepare you."

Minor alarms sounded in Oikawa's ears, "Prepare me? For what?"

Rinta secured the cloth tighter, glancing up at Oikawa, "There's a reason there were only seven people."

"They didn't just run out of elements?" Oikawa couldn't help the playful tone despite the very serious face Rinta was giving him. So he had a defense mechanism, sue him.

Rinta raised an eyebrow at the prince, "You think there's only seven things to this world? Seven things to sum up our entire existence?"

Oikawa pursed his lips, looking away from her piercing gaze.

Rinta huffed a sigh, "It's an immense amount of energy to take in. Some people's bodies simply can't handle it. And sometimes," she looked down at the concealed weapons in her arms, "Sometimes their bodies are the last things to go."

Some days, Rinta didn't know which was worse.

Oikawa didn't like the way that sounded.

"What happens to them?" Oikawa whispered.

Rinta cleared her throat, standing up to take the blades back to their spots in her room.

"If you want to accept them, I'll be happy to explain more, but right now I've already told you too much," Rinta turned to leave the room.

Oikawa called out to her as the curtain dropped behind her, "Why would I want to risk something like that?"

Her response didn't come until she appeared back in the room, empty handed once again.

"Accepting something like that would give you a better understanding of why Iwaizumi-sama is the way he is," Rinta watched the surprised look on his face, "You want that, right?"

Oikawa nodded, "More than anything."

Rinta sat back down beside him on the bed, "You know you can't tell him I told you any of this, right?"

The prince glanced nervously at Rinta as she continued, "It would put him in an impossible spot with the council and the last thing I want is to cause trouble for him. You understand?"

Oikawa avoided her hopeful glance, humming a noncommittal noise.

"And whenever he tells you what's been on his mind, don't be too angry with him," Rinta whispered and Oikawa looked over at the sincerity in her voice, "No matter what he's keeping from you, he's doing it for a reason. Don't be too angry."

Oikawa blinked at the request. It had never even crossed his mind to actually be angry with Iwaizumi.

Frustrated? Yes, without a doubt.

Petty? Of course, when the mood strikes him.

But angry?

The prince idly wondered about the things Iwaizumi would have to do to actually enrage him. It wasn't worth thinking about.

"Of course not," Oikawa quickly replied, realizing he hadn't answered her for a couple minutes.

Rinta's face relaxed into a soft smile and she pushed off the bed, using Oikawa's shoulders to lean on for support.

"Good. I'm sure he'll be back in time for the celebration tonight," she glanced at the prince out of the corner of her eyes and her mouth twisted downwards.

"You should lay down and rest until then," Rinta said.

Oikawa opened his mouth, objections ready on his tongue, but Rinta didn't give him the opportunity, simply talking over him, "It's not until sundown and I happen to know just how little sleep you've been getting since you came here."

Oikawa snapped his mouth shut. Something about her eyes boring into his told the prince he was better off keeping his thoughts to himself.

The brunette nodded and waited until she left to lay back down on the bed, arm coming up to cover his eyes. He willed himself to relax the frown on his face and spent the next few hours trying to fall into a fitful sleep. A sleep filled with odd dreams that Oikawa would wake and forget everything except the sense of impending tragedy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I will say I really like this flashback. Probably one of my favorites. Weird that the chapter sucks, but I like the flashback haha
> 
> Oh god, did that flashback give anyone else feelings? Or am I just too soft?
> 
> Aaaaand sudden left turn into fantasy land lol. Hope the whiplash wasn't too harsh.
> 
> Finally some good fucking food am I right? Some intrigue...mystery? Just give me my dork moment ok?
> 
> Next chapter: party.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I know this one got super confusing, but hopefully it'll all make more sense the next couple of weeks!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I think I have a problem. I use that sparkly heart emoji way too much in the comments.
> 
> But that's how you guys make me feeeeeeel! How else do I express myself?
> 
> Guy, guys, guys, I'm so sorry this is late! (Like a day, but it's still late!) I'm so sorry and I wish I had a better excuse, but truthfully. I was just dog tired this whole week and I'm in panic mode because after the next chapter, this might honestly have to go to biweekly updates and I hate it. But I'm at the end of everything I've had written down! (All this took me MONTHS before I even began posting and the time flew by so fast!)
> 
> Woot woot, another almost 10,000 word chapter, (9,700, but who's counting?) at least y'all didn't wait around for nothing, right? 
> 
> Nooooo!! You guys I'm not ready for this! I only have this chapter and the next one written. I don't know how to end this! Someone help me! I have too many ideas and not enough time!
> 
> Also I cut my thumb pretty good at work so typing this one up might actually kill me. I need to type as fast as I think (it's still slow af but we're not gonna talk about that) otherwise things get lost in the sauce and I stare at the keyboard for 3 hours trying to remember that specific word I was thinking of.

From his spot on a downed tree, Iwaizumi glared at the deepening sunset, blaming it for what was to come next. He stood up slowly, stretching and pocketing the small, whittled down piece of wood he had picked up to waste the time. It settled nicely in his pocket and gave him something positive to think about on the slow walk back into town.

This town.

The town Oikawa had dragged him to. Both literally and figuratively.

Iwaizumi grit his teeth as he walked. No need to beat a dead horse quite so much.

By the time he breached the edge of the forest, night had fully fallen and Iwaizumi could see the ten foot tall bonfire well underway. The flames pushed upwards, licking the star dusted sky, casting flickering light across a decent sized clearing. Iwaizumi caught the shapes of tables and chairs the town's people had brought out and set a good distance from the fire.

The booming drums had started as well and Iwaizumi felt the sound rumble deep in his chest, flooding his senses in a pleasant way. He picked up his pace. Fuck, he had missed this.

Maybe Oikawa hadn't had the _worst_ idea.

Like he'd ever tell him that to his face.

Iwaizumi drifted towards the heat of the fire, warming his cold limbs. His gaze wandered through the packs of people, some eating food, some drinking wine, some simply dancing to the steady drumbeat. But everyone was smiling. Everyone was laughing. Their faces were open, happy, and Iwaizumi couldn't help but think that they earned it. If anyone had earned a good time, it was these people.

Aoba Johsai had nothing on Seijoh's celebrations.

After warmth and life reanimated his fingers and toes, Iwaizumi made his way to an empty table on the outskirts, where the light of the fire was just enough to see by. On his way, he nimbly lifted a full jug of wine from an already severely inebriated man who gasped at his empty hand and began his search for the disappearing wine jug.

No sooner had he taken his seat when a man sat down in front of him. Iwaizumi squinted across the table.

"Keicho," Iwaizumi inclined his head, taking a healthy gulp from the jug.

"You heard about Aoba Johsai's encampment a couple miles out?"

 _Hello to you too_ , Iwaizumi thought sarcastically.

"I heard about it just before I left Center City, yes," another sip from the jug. Iwaizumi needed to already be drunk for this.

Keicho leaned forward, "Every couple months it's another mile closer. The scouts seem to think they're up to something."

"What makes them think that?" Iwaizumi wasn't really paying attention. Keicho had never been his favorite town leader. Too trigger happy for his tastes, but he tried his best to humor the man.

"They said it looked like someone important arrived about three days ago. Their guards were in a tizzy about it."

Iwaizumi hummed in acknowledgement and took another drink. It occurred to him that it might be best to slow down since his tolerance was likely lowered, but what did he know?

"What happens when they take this town like they took Morena?" Keicho growled across the table, unhappy with Iwaizumi's clear disinterest.

Iwaizumi looked up and set his drink down slowly, taking his time to answer, "We'll handle it just like we handled it back then," he spread his hands on the table, palms up, "I don't know what else you want from me, Keicho."

"I have a suggestion."

Iwaizumi waved a hand, telling him to go ahead with it.

Keicho smiled, unkindly, "We trade that guy from Aoba Johsai you came here with to get them to back off."

Iwaizumi frowned across the table. He knew Keicho had no idea who Oikawa actually was, but the fact that his plan would work a little _too_ well caused him some concern.

"Absolutely not, we're due in Center City in the next month, I'm not just leaving him here," another drink down.

Keicho slapped a hand on the table, "Then we need to act first, before they surprise us like that again."

"We've already evacuated all non-combatants from all towns next to encampments," Iwaizumi was tired of having these discussions. The only reason he was allowing it to go this far was because it had been about two months since he'd talked to his own people, but also because the alcohol was starting to kick in.

"It's not enough!" Keicho shouted, drawing a little more attention than Iwaizumi wanted at the moment.

"Stop!" Iwaizumi barked harshly, leaning forward to hiss, "I'm not spending the whole night having a theoretical tactical meeting with you," Keicho snapped his mouth closed and furrowed his brow as Iwaizumi continued, "I'm not saying you're wrong, but there's nothing we're going to get done right now, so please, just enjoy tonight."

Iwaizumi sat back and took another small sip. He had expected Keicho to storm off, but he simply sat there, silently fuming until his face relaxed and he looked around casually.

Keicho turned back and smiled at Iwaizumi, "Where's your _friend_ , Iwaizumi-sama?"

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at the intonation and the grin, but lifted a hand in a vague gesture, "I'm sure he's here somewhere."

Iwaizumi glanced at the alcohol in his hand and thought Oikawa had better fucking be here since it was his idea to stay for this anyways.

Keicho hummed, "What's he going to do without you there looking after him?"

Iwaizumi lifted his gaze slowly to meet Keicho's. The raven was unimpressed and unamused with the new conversation.

"I'm sure he's able to take care of himself," Iwaizumi sneered, "At least from people like you."

Keicho smiled coldly, "Maybe one or two of us, but you know just how many of us aren't too happy with having someone like him around."

"Are you trying to piss me off?" Iwaizumi asked quietly, clenching his hands on top of the table to keep himself seated.

Another smile, "Not at all, Iwaizumi-sama," Keicho stood slowly, fingers tapping lightly on the table, "It would just be a shame if he got himself into some sort of trouble before he could really enjoy the celebration."

Iwaizumi watched as Keicho walked away, disappearing into the crowds of people. The raven took another long drag from the jug and slammed it down on the table, getting ready to pull himself up and find Oikawa. Between Keicho's half-baked plan and his thinly veiled threat, the raven was officially nervous.

Halfway out of his seat, Iwaizumi paused and looked up, finally seeing the reason he was here at all.

And damned if it wasn't a beautiful fucking reason.

Sliding back into his seat, Iwaizumi watched Oikawa as he came into view, twirling around the giant fire. The brightness of the flames painted his face in a mesmerizing array of oranges and reds. His hair seemed to float out around him with every tilt and spin. The strands floated, but they looked like liquid gold, illuminated with its own inner light.

The things Iwaizumi would give to sift his fingers through those priceless threads.

The prince paused his dancing, panting lightly and smiling at nothing. Smiling at everything.

Oikawa flicked his eyes over the clearing, finding Iwaizumi easily through the milling crowds. So easily in fact, the raven guessed he must have been looking for him.

Gods, if Iwaizumi thought the prince's hair looked stunning, his eyes were absolutely divine. Even from this distance, Iwaizumi could tell they looked like melted chocolate, soft and sweet. The shadows flickered with the light and there was the sight of rich ochre melding with a deep, dark mahogany.

Iwaizumi looked away, if only so he could remember how to breathe and- oh yeah, he still had alcohol to drink. He downed the last of it just as Oikawa sauntered over and swung himself into the seat opposite him.

"I'm surprised you came out, even if it _is_ just to sit over here like some weird, old dude," Oikawa said, snickering at his own joke.

The prince leaned a little too far to one side and clumsily grabbed the table to keep from falling, which only made him laugh harder. Clearly, he'd had a fair amount of alcohol beforehand. Possibly even more than Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi felt a smile pull at his lips, "I was right, wasn't I?"

Oikawa hummed, placing his head lazily on his hands as he stared at Iwaizumi, trying to think about what the raven could possibly be referring to before the prince admitted defeat and asked.

"What's Iwa-chan talking about?"

Oikawa grinned at the crease between Iwaizumi's brow as the nickname made its inevitable appearance. The brunette reached over the table to press a finger to Iwaizumi's forehead, trying to see if he could smooth out the crease or if it was just too powerful.

Iwaizumi swatted Oikawa's hand away and gestured to the groups of people around them.

"I told you Seijoh's celebrations were better," Iwaizumi explained.

Now it was Oikawa's turn to frown. The alcohol muddled his thoughts and slowly, painfully slowly, he remembered their last night in Aoba Johsai. The party Iwaizumi had seen, the conversation on the balcony.

Back to grinning like a fool, Oikawa laughed, "Or maybe there's just more alcohol here, making you think it's better."

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, "Admit it, Loserkawa, you're having more fun here."

"Iwa-chan, you wound me with these uninspired nicknames," Oikawa teased.

"Says the person who's stuck with the same one for almost twenty years," Iwaizumi bit back.

Oikawa gasped dramatically, causing himself to fall into a fit of giggles.

"You can't mess with perfection, Iwa-chan," the prince chuckled, sliding his upper body to lay across the table, head resting on his forearms as he stared up at Iwaizumi. Brown eyes wide and luminescent in the dim firelight.

The raven snorted at the comment, expertly avoiding Oikawa's gaze. Iwaizumi shifted in his seat, feeling the sides of his face heat at the rapt attention.

"What?" Iwaizumi barked out. It didn't come out as harsh as he had planned.

Oikawa smiled and attempted to shrug from his awkward position on the table, "Always so rough, Iwa-chan. Can't I just look at you without an ulterior motive?"

Iwaizumi crossed his arms over his chest, "No, you can't. Not with that look on your dumb face."

Oikawa looked sweetly up at Iwaizumi, "I don't know what you're talking about. This just happens to be my beautiful face."

The innocence was spoiled with a lopsided grin and a dangerous glint shining through long lashes.

"Shut the fuck up and go back to dancing, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi grumbled.

"Why?" Oikawa tilted his head, "Did you like seeing me dance?"

Gods help him. He really fucking did.

One glance at the impish gleam in those chestnut eyes and Iwaizumi knew he would never live it down if he admitted it. So the raven grabbed clumsily for the jug, only to remember he had just drank the last of it.

Standing up to find more, Iwaizumi looked over to see Oikawa following, that grin now permanently attached to his stupidly beautiful face.

"No need to be embarrassed, Iwa-chan," Oikawa hummed, "It's only natural to be amazed by such grace."

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow, "You expect me to forget how you almost fell out of your seat not two minutes ago?"

Oikawa chuckled, not phased in the slightest, "All part of my charm. Can't have you being too intimidated by me."

Iwaizumi scoffed at the notion and ignored the brunette. Or at least tried to. It was difficult to ignore a six foot giant latching himself to your arm.

The raven looked down at his arm and raised an eyebrow, "Can I help you, Shittykawa?"

Iwaizumi knew if he wasn't pleasantly buzzed right now, he would have shoved Oikawa off a long time ago, but right now, the warmth from the brunette's hands was nice. Comforting.

"Mmmmm," Oikawa hummed, clinging tighter to Iwaizumi's arm, afraid any second now he would be pushed off.

The prince's hands slid lower and brushed against the metal wrapped around Iwaizumi's wrist. Oikawa looked down and raised the appendage to inspect it closer.

"No one else has these," Oikawa murmured, twisting the bracelets around the way Iwaizumi sometimes did.

"Oh yeah? You've talked to everyone in the world, huh?" Iwaizumi's voice sounded more strained than it had been and Oikawa's ears pricked.

"So mysterious, Iwa-chan," Oikawa giggled, light hands still touching the metal, "So secretive. It doesn't suit a straightforward person like you."

Oikawa reached up and booped Iwaizumi's nose.

The raven pulled back, falling out of Oikawa's grasp and feeling the alcohol heat his face. Yeah, definitely the alcohol.

"It's not secretive, it's called 'having boundaries', Shittykawa. You could learn a thing or two," Iwaizumi grumbled, clumsily moving along the outskirts of the packs of people, looking for another growler of alcohol.

Oikawa followed, tripping alongside. Just how much had he had to drink? How much of a lightweight was he?

The prince smiled at Iwaizumi through lidded eyes, "Looking for this?"

Oikawa reached across a table to pull out another container of alcohol. The brunette winked at Iwaizumi and tilted his head back, starting to gulp it down.

Iwaizumi's eyes widened and he hurriedly grabbed the jug from Oikawa's fingers, causing it to spill a little.

"Hey!" Oikawa's hands reached out to grab at the container being held just out of reach with a hand on his chest.

"No way," Iwaizumi shook his head, "You've had way too much tonight."

"C'mon, Iwa-chan," Oikawa pouted, weakly pushing at the hand on his chest, "We're both adults, let me drink what I want."

"No, come on, we're going back to Rinta's," Iwaizumi turned to set the jug back on the table only to have Oikawa slip behind him and grab it once again.

Oikawa giggled and stuck out his tongue at Iwaizumi as he traipsed away, drinking deeply from the alcohol.

Iwaizumi sighed and followed after him, if Oikawa wanted to get that fucked up, the least Iwaizumi could do was make sure the fool didn't hurt himself.

Easier said than done, Iwaizumi thought bitterly, as he pulled Oikawa away from the burning heat of the flames for the third time. It was like taking care of a child. Except most children weren't taller than him and trying to drape themselves over his shoulders.

"For fuck's sake," Iwaizumi growled for the hundredth time that night, pinching the sensitive skin over the prince's lean torso in an effort to get him to back away.

"Ow! Iwa-chan, so rough!" Oikawa swatted the hand away before draining the last of the alcohol, grinning, "All done!"

Iwaizumi frowned at the significantly slurred words. The raven took the empty jug from Oikawa's limp fingers and turned to set it down. He turned back and found an empty spot where Oikawa had been standing.

"What the fuck?" Iwaizumi sighed.

Just how fast could that man move when he was this fucked up? Apparently pretty damn fast.

Iwaizumi glared into the writhing crowds surrounding the fire, sure he would be able to pick out the giant walking among them.

Finding no one even close to the prince's height, Iwaizumi turned to the darker parts of the celebration, the places the light from the fire didn't quite reach. Hopefully, the idiot finally stopped somewhere and passed out.

How'd he get so lucky to babysit such an animated drunk?

Gaze never lingering too long on the shadowy sections in case he sees something he's not nearly drunk enough to process, Iwaizumi moved through the people, looking for the distinctive flash of brown and listening for the musical lilt of the prince's voice.

It wasn't until his second time through that Iwaizumi saw him with his head cradled in his arms at an empty table.

Iwaizumi frowned and moved to place a hand on Oikawa's shoulder, gently shaking it until glazed, chocolate eyes slowly crawled up to his level.

"Hey, you ok?" Iwaizumi asked softly.

Oikawa nodded sluggishly.

Iwaizumi nudged Oikawa's elbow, silently asking the prince to lift his arm and put it around his shoulders, "Let's get going, ok?"

The taller man nodded again, letting Iwaizumi sling his arm over the broad shoulders, leaning heavily on the raven.

Oikawa was unnaturally quiet for the trek back to the room. Iwaizumi kept glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't read anything on the brunette's face. If the raven had to guess, it looked like the prince was thinking about something really hard. Iwaizumi was scared to ask.

They stumbled into the room, crashing lightly into a few of the walls along the way. Iwaizumi set Oikawa gently on the bed and went to stand up, but was stopped by a hand, fisting into his shirt. The raven stayed bent over the bed with raised eyebrows.

"You need to let me go, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi mumbled.

Oikawa's glassy eyes slid to his fingers, twisted in the fabric, and worked their way, laboriously, back up to the green eyes above him.

The prince leaned in to whisper as if it was an earth shattering secret, "I don't want to."

Iwaizumi sighed and began working to pry off the pale fingers.

"You have to. I want to get some sleep before we leave tomorrow."

"Do we have to leave?" Oikawa groaned, "I like it here."

"Did you forget about the peace talks already?" Iwaizumi was having a hard time extricating himself from the brunette's drunken grasp, "Aren't you going to save the world or something?"

Oikawa grimaced and tilted his head forward, nearly touching Iwaizumi's chest. He whispered so softly, Iwaizumi almost didn't catch it.

"Sometimes, I don't think they need me."

Iwaizumi frowned down at the head of brown hair, "What do you mean? Of course they need you."

Oikawa shrugged, "Maybe."

"You're the heir, right? How could they _not_ need you?" Iwaizumi was genuinely confused at what sounded like an earnest admission.

Another shrug, "Maybe I'm not the best person to do this."

"Who says that?" Iwaizumi asked.

"They say I'm too soft," Oikawa mumbled, staring down at the ground, "That I'll only make things worse."

"They said _you're_ too soft?" Iwaizumi scoffed at the notion.

"They say I'm not fit to be in charge," Oikawa's eyes slid up to look at the ceiling as if recalling the conversation, "I'm not strong enough to lead and do what needs to be done." The prince's face pinched at the unpleasant memory.

Iwaizumi watched his unfocused eyes and murmured, "Do you think you're too weak?"

Those cloudy brown eyes pulled themselves to the raven's gaze.

"How can I not?" Oikawa whispered.

Iwaizumi pulled at the now slack hands hanging on his shirt and held them in his own.

"Tell me you don't think that," Iwaizumi demanded.

How could Oikawa possibly think he was unfit? Too soft? The man never stopped. Iwaizumi saw him on the trip training with Kunimi and Yahaba. He saw the prince going over maps and documents with Hanamaki. The one thing the raven _didn't_ see him do was take a fucking break.

It just occurred to Iwaizumi how little he saw the prince relaxing. It only ever seemed to happen around him. At the castle in Aoba Johsai he had simply sat and talked to Iwaizumi on multiple occasions, even now, the raven could tell from his intoxication, it had been some time since Oikawa had gotten drunk, and it happened with him.

"Oh, Iwa-chan," Oikawa gave a small, breath-taking smile, "You know as well as I do just how sensitive I get sometimes. Of course they're right to say I'm weak."

Iwaizumi gripped Oikawa's shoulders, startling the brunette halfway out of his drunken state.

"Just because you're soft doesn't make you weak. Honey and wildfire are both the color gold. Snow and tsunamis are both made of water. Don't you dare tell me you can't do both, Oikawa."

At the sound of his name, mocha eyes widened and continued to watch as Iwaizumi furrowed his brow, trying to make Oikawa understand.

"Don't let them make you cruel," Iwaizumi murmured, "Don't let them tell you life is better under a thick skin because it's not. Thick skin dulls the things in life worth feeling."

Iwaizumi paused, thinking how true it was. Under thick skin, everything was far away and foggy. Nothing ever hurt, but nothing ever truly felt good either. And Iwaizumi was ok with that for most of his life. For years, he barely noticed not being able to truly feel the cool wash of rain as it cleanses the leftover burn of the sun. Or the crisp crunch of freshly fallen snow under his feet. Or the warm, hushed exhale of a lover's sigh, sliding across his skin.

Seeing Oikawa now, Iwaizumi felt for the first time in a long time that maybe it would be ok to let a few things in every now and then.

Iwaizumi swallowed and began again, "Thick skin is for the truly fragile people, too afraid to feel something. Not for someone like you, who feels every rose petal as if made from silk and every sharp word as if crafted from steel."

"So be light, Oikawa, be soft. Be everything you were meant to be and when you get where you're going, be happy and proud of yourself."

Somehow, Iwaizumi's hands ended up cupping both sides of Oikawa's neck, just below his jawline. Even after realizing it, the raven didn't move to pull away.

Oikawa watched him for a long time, stretching the seconds into what felt like hours. His oak brown eyes flitted back and forth between Iwaizumi's green ones, looking for a hidden meaning to his words, a falsity to point out. But he found nothing in that ocean of evergreen. Nothing but warmth and sincerity.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Oikawa whispered, breaking the silence.

The crease between Iwaizumi's eyebrows deepened as he realized exactly why he was saying things he never thought he would say to Oikawa's face.

Iwaizumi was the worst kind of selfish. Where he only wanted to get things off his chest and not have to deal with the consequences. It's what gave him the courage to talk so freely with the prince, knowing he wouldn't remember it. Not with the severe intoxication he was seeing.

Iwaizumi brushed a hair back from Oikawa's face and answered his question, "Because I'm terribly fucking selfish."

Oikawa leaned forward suddenly to snort a small laugh into Iwaizumi's shirt.

The raven frowned down at him.

"What's so funny?" Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa shook his head and looked up at Iwaizumi through thick, brown lashes.

"Nothing, Iwa-chan. You just say the funniest things sometimes. Like you've got this whole other conversation in your head."

"What do you mean?" Iwaizumi asked, pulling up the chair next to the bed, so he wasn't leaning over Oikawa anymore.

Oikawa shrugged, "Even when we were kids, you'd say odd things. Like nothing ever phased you. I could never make sense of it, it's like the rest of us are out here, trying to tread water, and you're the only one who never sinks below the waves."

Oikawa tilted his head to get a better look at the raven, lowering his voice, "How do you keep from drowning?"

Iwaizumi felt a painful stutter in his chest at the sadness in those deep brown eyes. How was he supposed to tell this man that of course he was drowning?

Every damn time Oikawa talked to him, he sank a little farther. Every time the prince looked at Iwaizumi, his lungs burned just a little more.

He was drowning, fighting for air on dry land every time Oikawa said his name.

Iwaizumi sighed and placed a hand over Oikawa's fingers still tangled in his shirt.

"Who says I'm not?" Iwaizumi whispered.

It was okay, Iwaizumi told himself, Oikawa wouldn't remember this anyways, he was far too drunk. This might be his only chance to have an open, candid conversation without fear of backlash.

Oikawa's eyes struggled to focus on Iwaizumi's face in front of him, "Does it hurt?"

"Every day," Iwaizumi breathed.

The prince nodded wisely, releasing his hold on the shirt just to grab at Iwaizumi's metal covered wrists.

"I like being around you, Iwa-chan," Oikawa slurred.

Iwaizumi reached up to pat the brown locks, "I know you do."

"Do you like being around me?" Oikawa asked, pulling his eyes up to Iwaizumi's.

The raven hesitated, double checking to make sure the prince was still nearly blackout drunk before answering honestly.

"Of course I do."

Oikawa grinned, giggled, and then frowned as a thought occurred to him, "But then, why do you pull away so often?"

Iwaizumi sighed and shuffled to sit next to Oikawa on the bed.

"I don't want you to hate me," the raven admitted softly.

"How could I possibly hate my Iwa-chan?" Oikawa threw an arm to hang over Iwaizumi's shoulder, burying his face in the shorter man's neck.

Iwaizumi tried to steady his breathing as he turned to feel the soft brown strands against his cheek.

"I-," Iwaizumi took a deep breath, "I did something bad and I don't think you'll be able to forgive me for it."

Iwaizumi lifted a hand to entwine his fingers with Oikawa's across his shoulders, whispering softly, "I don't think I can forgive myself."

Oikawa hummed and Iwaizumi felt his warm breath against his neck as he mumbled, "I could forgive my Iwa-chan for anything."

Iwaizumi sighed and let himself be fooled for just a minute. He let himself picture a world in which he told Oikawa his worst parts and felt the brunette wash it all away. The prince's voice never turned sour, his brown eyes never turned cold, and Iwaizumi could stay here for just a little while longer.

******

_Tooru just left._

_No._

_Iwaizumi admonished himself, knocking his head back against the stone wall of his jail cell._

_That wasn't Tooru. That was Oikawa._

_Crowned Prince of Aoba Johsai, the spoiled prince he and his friends would make fun of back in Seijoh._

_Seijoh._

_Would he really get to go back?_

_Did he want to go back? After all the shit he said?_

_Iwaizumi dropped his head in his hands. How could he yell like that at Kyōtani? The kid was a bit aggressive at times, but he had his heart in the right place._

_The raven winced. He'd even snapped at Kindaichi and Watari._

_Iwaizumi groaned. What the fuck was wrong with him?_

_Iwaizumi stared down at the stone floor, there was really nothing else to look at in such a place._

_What was he even doing here?_

_Did he seriously want to be some sacrificial offering to start a war?_

_He thought he did. He travelled miles alone in the forest thinking it was worth it. One measly life for the rebellion that would finally lead to the freedom of his people._

_Iwaizumi thought it was a fair trade._

_Until that fucking guy whispered that gut-wrenching name. A name he'd thought he had forgotten a long time ago._

_"Damn it," Iwaizumi muttered into the ground._

_And now, a dizzying array of doubts clouded his mind._

_Was war ever really worth anything?_

_No, Iwaizumi decided, just now, sitting on that cold stone floor, it wasn't._

_The raven laughed lightly, looking up to the ceiling, resting his head against the wall. It's funny isn't it? How there's a science of war, but no science of peace._

_It's almost like people put an exorbitant amount of time and effort into perfecting one, while taking the other as a given. A naturally occurring phenomenon._

_Neither was natural._

_Both war and peace are nothing more than man made entities, found nowhere else but human history. They both took effort and sacrifices in equal measure._

_Groaning, Iwaizumi leaned his head into his hands, propped up by his knee. Why couldn't he have thought of this before berating his friends and slipping into Aoba Johsai?_

_Maybe he needed his memory jump started by a pair of soft brown eyes._

_Iwaizumi's fingers dug deep into his scalp. How did he not realize his childhood friend was the heir to a kingdom?_

_If he thought about it, Iwaizumi could remember Tooru being a little off, a little more hesitant than most boys his age. More careful of saying or doing the wrong things than Iwaizumi thought six year olds should be._

_Why did the prince keep coming back?_

_Iwaizumi blinked, confounded by his own thought._

_At the time, he hadn't thought anything of it, Iwaizumi had thought maybe Tooru was part of some small town on the outskirts of Aoba Johsai. Maybe he didn't have anyone to play with his own age and that's why he got so attached to Iwaizumi._

_But that wasn't it was it?_

_Tooru quite literally had his pick of all the people in the country. Why did he travel nearly every day to see some random boy he had met in the forest? Weren't there things heirs of kingdoms were supposed to be doing instead?_

_Iwaizumi suddenly remembered how often Tooru had needed to rest. How many times had the raven come to their meeting spot only to see Tooru already fast asleep? Sometimes the brunette leaned on a tree, sometimes he would disappear in the small field of lavender, saying the smell made him sleepy._

_The raven never minded waiting on Tooru to wake up either. He always made sure to find quiet things to do while the brunette slept. It was how he had developed his whittling skills._

_What if Tooru wasn't just a tired kid, though? What if he was cutting sleep just to see Iwaizumi?_

_"Fuck," Iwaizumi mumbled, gripping his hair harder to stop his train of thought before it took him somewhere he wasn't ready for._

_Shouts and a small scuffle drew Iwaizumi's attention and he picked his head up to see someone unlocking his barred door._

_Iwaizumi slid himself up the wall, suddenly feeling caged in. He hadn't felt this way when he talked to Oikawa. The raven clenched his hands and readied himself for a confrontation._

_The man slid the door open with a loud clank of metal and two others appeared behind him._

_Iwaizumi swallowed hard at the smile on the strangers lips._

_"Looks like you're not so confident without your weapons, huh?" The first man snickered as he stepped through into the cell._

_"Looks like you're so confident, you brought back-up," Iwaizumi sneered back, not relaxing his fists._

_"Fucking Seijoh," the man snarled as he lunged to hit Iwaizumi in the stomach._

_The raven danced out of the way and used the man's momentum to topple him into the wall at his back._

_Iwaizumi felt a blow hit him on the shoulder and drew back to block the next hit as his other fist snapped forward. The sound of shouting and a small pop made him think he had possibly broken one of their noses._

_A harsh kick to the back of his legs brought Iwaizumi crashing to a knee. Wincing, he almost didn't block a hit to the head in time._

_One of the men landed a kick on Iwaizumi's ribs, causing him to double over in pain. His lungs struggled to remember how to breathe. He felt hands dig cruelly into both his arms, dragging him back up to his knees._

_Fingers gripped his jaw, forcing his head back to look at the hateful face of the man who had opened his cell._

_The man grinned down at him and Iwaizumi snarled back, snapping his jaws at the fingers that held him._

_The stranger pulled his hand back hastily, but his taunting smile remained._

_"Just as I thought. Nothing but uncivilized, worthless people."_

_Iwaizumi tried to kick out at the men who held his arms, but the first man cocked back and slammed his fist into Iwaizumi's face._

_The taste of copper filled Iwaizumi's mouth as another blow landed on his ribs. The raven tried and failed to double over, protect his body. Another hit to the face, just above his eye made Iwaizumi see stars._

_"That's enough," a new voice demanded._

_Iwaizumi glanced over, blinking heavily through the pain and saw a blurry outline of another person standing in the doorway of his jail cell._

_The raven felt an involuntary shiver at the sound of the voice._

_"He's not worth talking to," the one in front of Iwaizumi said to the newcomer, "his skull's too fucking thick."_

_As if to prove his point, the man's fist reared back again and Iwaizumi flinched, his eyes closed as he waited for the pain. A pain that never came._

_Squinting his eyes open, Iwaizumi saw the new man calmly holding the other's fist._

_"I said that's enough," his voice rang old, dusty alarm bells in Iwaizumi's head. It chilled him to the bone, a long forgotten feeling._

_Iwaizumi sagged, held up only by the grip the other two men had on his arms. The raven stared at the floor, realizing where he'd heard that voice before. It had been thirteen years ago._

_The day he had left Tooru._

_Iwaizumi's fight-or-flight response kicked in at the last second and with nowhere for the adrenaline to go, he felt his body shiver._

_Fighting to control himself, Iwaizumi watched the pair of boots in front of him turn towards him._

_"I see you're all grown up now, aren't you, Iwaizumi?"_

_Iwaizumi clenched his teeth. He wasn't twelve years old anymore. He wasn't someone who could be frightened with just a voice now. Damn him for ever letting this person gain a foothold in his nightmares._

_Emboldened green eyes glared up from the floor to meet a striking, deep blue, set under raven black hair. His gaze was almost worse than his voice. Cold and dead, like a fish._

_"What do you want?" Iwaizumi gritted out, feeling out his split lip with his tongue._

_The man tilted his head to the side, appraising the raven. Iwaizumi didn't like it one bit._

_"You don't seem especially stupid," the man hummed, "So tell me why I'm hearing about you traipsing through here, looking to get a rope around your neck."_

_Iwaizumi scoffed and looked off to the side, eager to break the chilly gaze._

_"It almost worked didn't it?" The man taunted, "I can't imagine how much support your father could drum up with your death at our hands."_

_Iwaizumi glared up at him, still refusing to speak._

_The man chuckled, "For once, our prince's obsession with Seijoh worked in our favor, didn't it?"_

_A jolt of understanding passed through Iwaizumi and he couldn't stop himself from blurting out, "That was your prince you poisoned back then."_

_The man looked at him, amused._

_Iwaizumi's lips curled in disgust, "You're a fucking traitor."_

_The smile on the man's face never wavered, he waved a hand at the accusation, "Of course it was the prince. You think I went through all that trouble to assassinate some random civilian's child? Maybe you are a little slow."_

_Iwaizumi lunged forward, but was pulled back. A swift kick to his side served as his reminder not to move again._

_Panting lightly, Iwaizumi watched the man move to sit on the small cot off to the side. The man spread his hands towards Iwaizumi._

_"Since you're so slow, I'll make this simple. The night before you leave for Seijoh, I want you to find the prince and," the man paused, an odd smile on his face, "distract him. Keep him occupied for a good bit of the night."_

_"You going to bust me out of here too?" Iwaizumi sneered._

_"Oh no, I don't think we'll need to do that. I believe it'll take care of itself," the man picked invisible lint from his pants._

_Iwaizumi furrowed his brow. He wasn't inclined to give this man anything. Wouldn't give him a glass of spit if he was dying of thirst, much less a favor._

_The raven shook his head, "Not a chance."_

_The man tsked, leaning forward to place both arms on his knees, "I'm not asking that much of you here. Just a small portion of your time. Trust me, it's in both of our best interests that the prince is otherwise engaged at that time."_

_"I wouldn't trust you if the gods themselves told me to," Iwaizumi spat, "Keep him occupied yourself if it's that important."_

_The man sighed, "We would, but the prince is a rather sharp individual. Anything coming from us will be immediately scrutinized."_

_"Sounds like it's not my fucking problem," Iwaizumi growled._

_The man grinned and it chilled Iwaizumi to the core._

_"I suppose we could kill him ahead of schedule. It shouldn't upset our plans too much."_

_Iwaizumi's gaze shot up to stare, dumbfounded at the man._

_"What?" Iwaizumi whispered._

_"I told you it would be in your best interest to help us," the man chuckled mirthlessly, "See, if he were to get in our way that night, we'd have no choice but to take care of him right then. Don't you want to at least be on your way home by the time he dies?"_

_Iwaizumi stared at the man, feeling no small amount of panic twist his heart and lungs._

_"You said he'd be safe if I never came back," Iwaizumi heard his own voice and felt small, like he was twelve again._

_"And yet here you are. I just assumed you no longer cared about your little friend from Aoba Johsai," the man's eyes seemed to glow in the dull light of the cell, "Am I wrong?"_

_Iwaizumi hesitated, hands clenching uselessly._

_"Keep him occupied and you'll get your ticket back to Seijoh," the man rested his head in his hands, watching Iwaizumi's internal struggle with amusement, "Fail, and you can rot in here for all I care. The prince dies either way."_

_At that, Iwaizumi kicked out again, connecting a solid hit to the side of one of his capture's knees, making him release the raven. Iwaizumi lunged forward, trying to get a hand on the man sitting calmly on the cot before hands grabbed at his shirt, ripping it as he was tossed to the ground._

_A boot pressed against the back of his neck and Iwaizumi felt harsh hands holding him down once again. The raven twisted against them and swore up at their faces, feeling the cold of the stone floor against his cheek._

_"I'm surprised at you, Iwaizumi, I really thought we had an understanding," Iwaizumi heard the man moving about, but with his face pressed into the dirty stone, he couldn't see him anymore._

_"Fuck off," Iwaizumi snarled, struggling harder at the hands, hating that this man felt they had any sort of understanding at all._

_"Does this really need to be done the hard way? Do you still harbor such childish feelings of loyalty? The prince is a liar. He lied to you every day for six years," the man's voice moved as he circled Iwaizumi._

_"Stop it. Just shut up," Iwaizumi gritted out._

_One of the men lifted Iwaizumi's arm behind him and the raven twisted, only to be brought back to the floor with a boot to his back. Iwaizumi gasped as his arm was stretched beyond its limits, sending shooting pain through his shoulder._

_"I'll bet you felt sorry for him, right? Such an odd little boy probably had no friends to play with, so you took it upon yourself to be that friend. Do you think he laughed at you when he was back home? Back in his castle, surrounded by the people who actually knew him?"_

_"Shut. Up." Iwaizumi struggled to breathe around the intense pressure on his shoulder. Any minute now, he was sure something would break, his joint would give. The raven's spine popped from the boot stomping down on it._

_"I bet he did," the man continued, finding joy in Iwaizumi's misery, "I bet he found you amusing. Like a pet. I heard he didn't even call you by your name. What was it again? Iwa-chan, right? Now doesn't that sound like something you would call a cute, little pet?"_

_"Shut up!" Iwaizumi roared, jerking forward. His shoulder finally giving out with a sickeningly wet pop._

_The raven crashed his forehead into the floor, unable to stop the shout of pain that echoed around the stone halls._

_The hands holding him down disappeared, but it didn't matter. Iwaizumi couldn't move. Not with his shoulder on fire and every breath he took laced with agony._

_A boot pressed into his shoulder, flipping Iwaizumi on his back to glare up hatefully at the man._

_In a chilling calm, the stranger placed his boot against Iwaizumi's bad shoulder, digging in and pinning him to the floor._

_A loud ringing pierced Iwaizumi's ears and it wasn't until his throat began to hurt that the raven realized the sound was his own voice, echoing back to him._

_"We're not asking for much here, Iwaizumi," the man's voice barely changed, like he wasn't subjecting a grown man to mild torture._

_"You lose nothing by helping us. You even stand to gain a ticket back home."_

_Iwaizumi seethed under the ice cold stare, wishing he'd been brave enough to bite off a finger or jam a thumb in his eye when he was twelve._

_At Iwaizumi's silence, the man sighed before putting even more weight on the dislocated joint._

_The raven's head cracked against the stone floor as he threw his head back and screamed once more. The worst part was he couldn't move, every motion made the pain worse, blinding him until the only thing he could do to relieve the pain was scream._

_The pressure lifted and Iwaizumi pulled in a deep breath, panting heavily. His overworked vocal chords felt like he had inhaled sand._

_"I need an answer, Iwaizumi. I could do this all night if I have to," the man lifted an eyebrow at the raven under his foot, "This isn't the hill you want to die on, is it?_

_Iwaizumi hated this man. Loathed him with every ounce of his being. This kind of hate flooded his veins with fire, blistering his insides with malevolence. Iwaizumi had never felt this much animosity towards another living being before and it almost scared him. Almost._

Accept it.

_The thought was as disgusting as it was brief, but Iwaizumi couldn't help thinking it over._

_The man said they would kill Oikawa if Iwaizumi didn't do as they said._

_They said they're killing him regardless._

_But this way, Iwaizumi had more time._

_The idea appealed to him as he remembered the stuttering breath Oikawa had taken against the iron bars before whispering his nickname. The prince had uttered it like it was something precious, a part of himself, spoken into existence._

_Iwaizumi could never truly hate that name. Not even when this man did his best to disparage it. It would never mean anything less than Tooru to him, for better or worse._

_And the way Oikawa had smiled when he said the raven's full name. It was something straight from Iwaizumi's dreams, an image that dissipated with the rising of the sun, but the raven saw it clear as day sitting on that dirty floor when Oikawa's face lit up and he repeated his name like that._

_Iwaizumi Hajime._

_He needed more time._

_"Ok," Iwaizumi croaked out, voice raspy._

_The boot lifted off even more._

_"Pardon?"_

_"I'll do it," Iwaizumi sneered and coughed, leaning his head back against the cold floor, "I'll keep him occupied the day before we leave."_

_The boot disappeared completely and Iwaizumi watched as the man nodded his head, smiling down at him._

_"Good. I'm glad."_

_Iwaizumi glared up at him, hoping the man could see the depth of his hatred for him._

_Suddenly, the stranger squatted down, levelling his face with Iwaizumi's, "And you'll be sure to keep this little discussion between us, right?"_

_The man looked like he was about to reach out and clap Iwaizumi on the shoulder and the raven couldn't help but flinch away. The man smiled at that and lightly brushed dirt from Iwaizumi's shoulder, as if that was the plan all along._

_"There's just so many ways to kill a prince," the man continued, "I'd hate to be forced into picking the most painful one, all because you can't keep things to yourself."_

_Iwaizumi swallowed, "Fine," he murmured, holding the man's cold, blue stare._

_The stranger grinned and straightened before pulling one of the other men to the side, talking softly enough for Iwaizumi not to hear. Then he was gone without so much as a backward glance, leaving him with the three who had opened his cell door._

_Iwaizumi risked a glance at his shoulder and found it jutting out at a sickening angle. He moved his other hand to feel the damage, when he was violently hauled up and thrown through the door of his cell, hitting the wall on the other side of the hall._

_"Fuck you," Iwaizumi uttered, huskily, kicking weakly at the others._

_The men shared a laugh and the one who had unlocked his door moved forward._

_"Seems like you're getting a little out of hand. Maybe a change of scenery will do you some good."_

_With that, Iwaizumi was kicked and shoved along, too spent to try anything but keeping himself on his feet._

_As the heavy, oak door slammed shut, trapping him in total darkness, Iwaizumi pulled his dislocated arm into his lap, tuning out the clanking of the chains as he moved, and thumbed the metal bracelets around his wrists._

_He was well and truly fucked._

******

"I wish you trusted me enough to tell me what's bothering you," Oikawa mumbled into his neck, sounding almost sober.

Iwaizumi blinked, pulled back into the present, where the prince's grip tightened around him.

"I do trust you," Iwaizumi surprised even himself with the admission, and paused, wanting to give Oikawa a reason, but not wanting him to ask too many questions, "I just don't want to hurt you," he admitted softly.

"You're hurting me anyways," Oikawa muttered against the sensitive skin on Iwaizumi's neck.

"I know," Iwaizumi closed his eyes, wincing, "I'm sorry."

Oikawa pulled back suddenly, making Iwaizumi's eyes fly open in surprise. The prince pressed both hands to either side of Iwaizumi's face, making him look into his eyes.

"I want to sleep with you, Iwaizumi," Oikawa whispered.

"Gods, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi tried to jerk his head back, but the brunette's fingers dug into the back of his neck, keeping him still.

The raven half-heartedly pulled at the wrists trapping his face, groaning, "I'm not sleeping with you like this."

"Just this once, Iwa-chan," Oikawa whined, lightly pulling Iwaizumi's face closer, "It's not like we both don't want to!"

"No!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, trying harder to pry the surprisingly strong hands from his head.

"Why would I want to sleep with someone as drunk as you?" Iwaizumi muttered, finally able to peel off the pale fingers.

"Mmm not drunk, Iwa-chan. Plus," the brunette grinned wickedly at Iwaizumi, "I'd be willing to bet I can get you to sleep with me."

"Yeah, right," Iwaizumi snorted, "And Matsun's able to convince me he's a saint."

Oikawa's face lit up, "Oh, Matsun. I like Matsun. He's tall and funny."

"Well, the sooner you get to sleep, the sooner we can see everyone again," Iwaizumi tried to distract the prince. The tactic seemed to work on small, tired children, maybe it would work on over-sized, intoxicated adults.

Oikawa dropped his head to burrow into Iwaizumi's chest, mumbling, "Not without my Iwa-chan."

The raven glared softly down at the drunkard clinging to him, wondering when he had started calling Iwaizumi ' _his_ ' anything.

"Tooru," Iwaizumi said quietly, watching the brunette still and look up at him in hazy surprise. The raven swallowed, not wanting to examine exactly _why_ that look made his heart stutter.

Iwaizumi tapped the prince's shoulder lightly, "Let me up so I can get you some water, ok?"

Oikawa shook his head, petulantly, "No, you're just tricking me into letting you go so you can leave again."

"Again?" Iwaizumi asked softly, threading his fingers through silken brown hair. It was something he never could get enough of, feeling the prince's hair under his fingertips. It was so much softer than the raven's and it gave him a small amount of satisfaction seeing the ever-perfect locks mussed up by his hand.

Oikawa nodded, "You always leave. You leave when we fight. You left when we kissed," Iwaizumi thought he heard a small sniffle against his chest, "You left me when we were kids."

"Tooru, I-," Iwaizumi stopped himself. He wanted to come clean about what had happened all those years ago. He wanted to tell Oikawa he hadn't wanted to. That he had never wanted to leave him like that.

But knowing the prince, he'd ask more questions. Questions the raven wasn't ready to answer. Not yet. Not when he could still have _this_ Oikawa, soft and unguarded. Just like his friend used to be before the time apart changed them both.

"You left me all alone," Oikawa continued, either ignoring Iwaizumi's low mumble, or just not hearing it.

"No one ever believed there was a Seijoh boy in the forest. They all laughed at me," Oikawa turned to wipe his nose with the back of his hand, still pressing his head into Iwaizumi's chest.

"No one wanted to be friends with me because they didn't like the way I played sometimes. They called me too mean and said I should go back into the forest to play with the 'made-up' boy."

Iwaizumi realized he had stopped petting Oikawa's hair and began again, this time digging his fingers deeper in an effort to ease his own guilt.

"And I tried, Iwa-chan. I really tried. I went out there every day for months, just waiting on you to come back," Oikawa sighed, "I thought if I waited long enough, you'd find me again."

A small piece of Iwaizumi's heart crumbled into dust at the tearful admission. He could just picture it. Could just see the hopeful waiting written across the small brunette's body language, looking up every time a squirrel dashed through the grass. The crestfallen look on Oikawa's face as he slowly realized, long after the sun had gone down, that his friend hadn't shown up again that day.

When did the prince give up on Iwaizumi?

Did Iwaizumi really want to know the answer to that?

Oikawa tilted his head up to look into Iwaizumi's eyes and smiled a devastating smile. It wasn't earth-shatteringly beautiful, the way Iwaizumi knew it could be. It was a desolate, tragic display covering up long buried sadness and deep seated hurt.

Iwaizumi didn't know what to do in the face of that despair and wondered if even the prince was capable of handling his own emotions.

"I guess I really was a terrible friend after all," Oikawa laughed and Iwaizumi winced at the emptiness of it.

Iwaizumi lightly touched the pale skin pulled uncomfortably taut over flushed cheekbones and whispered, "Don't do that. Don't close yourself off like that and pretend you're ok. Not with me. Not tonight."

Oikawa hesitated, his unfocused gaze struggling to hold onto the important things about this moment. Like how Iwaizumi's mouth twisted to the side in the most endearing way, the ever-present crease in his brow, the lush, deep green of his eyes.

The prince closed his own eyes, holding tight to Iwaizumi's broad shoulders in an effort to stop the room from spinning too fast.

Oikawa shook his head slowly, unable to put his drunken thoughts together in a way that told Iwaizumi just how badly he needed to keep these feelings inside. Nearly a lifetime of suppressing himself had given the prince an almost inhuman ability to laugh off any emotional injury and yet...

Oikawa could feel the dam he built beginning to crack under Iwaizumi's firm and steady hands. Under this penetrating and unyielding gaze, at the raven's soft request, the prince could feel the surging river that was his emotions swell and batter the walls of his slip-shod control.

Would it be so bad to let go? Oikawa briefly wondered. To let go and simply _be_ this river of emotions he was probably meant to be anyways.

Rivers were beautiful with their constant motion and steadfast resolve to return to the ocean they unknowingly longed for. Rivers needed no home, because they were their own safe haven, their own universe unto themselves.

It was the waters rivers were made of that gave life to the world and the people in it. Those same waters could be equal parts deep, dangerous, and unforgiving, but also had the capacity to be calm, soothing, and patient.

What was so wrong with being a river? What mountain made him so ashamed?

One slow blink at the man in front of him and the prince had his answer. It probably wasn't Iwaizumi's intention, but Oikawa couldn't help feeling disappointed with the realization that he was never meant to be like the man beside him.

Oikawa was meant to continue onward, never looking back, only forward to the future and his journey to get there. Iwaizumi grounded himself to the earth and the people around him, standing as an indomitable boulder that Oikawa had no choice but to bend around and wash over.

It was rivers that wore holes and crevices into mountains and it was those same mountains that made beautiful winding curves out of the rivers that adorned them.

A single, small tear leaked out of Oikawa's eye and was quickly brushed away with Iwaizumi's thumb. The prince closed his eyes again and felt a fleeting touch of warmth press into his forehead before Iwaizumi began to pull away.

"N-no, Iwa,"Oikawa whined softly, gripping the shoulders in front of him harder to make him stay.

Iwaizumi's hands encircled Oikawa's wrists and pulled them off, giving them a gentle squeeze, "Relax, I'm just getting you some water, ok? You drank a lot tonight and this stuff is stronger than you're used to."

The raven released his hands and stood up.

"Don't go," Oikawa murmured, so quietly, Iwaizumi didn't think he meant to say it out loud.

Iwaizumi squatted in front of Oikawa and put his hands on the prince's knees, getting him to look down at him, "I'm coming back, ok? I always come back, don't I?"

Oikawa sniffled a little and wiped a hand across his face before mumbling, "Just don't take thirteen years getting me a cup of water."

The raven chuckled at the unexpected joke, tilting his head, "Yeah, ok. I promise to come right back."

Oikawa nodded and wiggled himself back on the bed, dangling his feet off the edge and propping his back against the wall.

Coming back with the largest cup of water he could find, Iwaizumi saw Oikawa beginning to nod off, catching himself when his head dipped too far to one side. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and pushed the cup into his hands.

"Drink."

Oikawa obeyed, almost mindlessly and Iwaizumi took the empty cup from him after he drained it.

"Lay down."

The raven pointed to the bed and again, Oikawa did as he was told, letting Iwaizumi pull the blankets over him.

"Sleep."

Oikawa's hand shot out from under the covers and gripped Iwaizumi's wrist in a surprising show of strength for the prince's state.

"Stay, Iwa," the brunette mumbled and for the first time tonight, Iwaizumi thought he saw the clouds in his eyes clear for just a moment.

"I'm just going to be across the room, ok?"

Oikawa shook his head, murmuring, "No, Iwa. Stay."

"Oikawa," Iwaizumi sighed, "this bed isn't made for two grown ass men. There's barely enough room for your giant ass ego."

"Hajime," Oikawa whispered.

Iwaizumi felt his heart try to leap out of his chest. He stared down at Oikawa with a painful mix of longing and guilt.

"Don't," Iwaizumi murmured, unsure what exactly he wanted Oikawa to stop doing.

"Hajime," clumsy fingers worked their way over the metal on his wrist and climbed up to pull on the inside of the raven's elbow.

"Just for tonight," Oikawa whispered, "pretend you can do anything."

Iwaizumi closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

"Gods damn it," Iwaizumi growled with no heat, running his free hand through his hair, unable to look at the big, soft brown eyes staring up at him, begging him.

Iwaizumi grumbled a few other choice words as he reluctantly climbed over Oikawa, placing his own back against the wall.

Oikawa grinned at the raven and wormed closer until his forehead rested against Iwaizumi's chest. It took a while to figure out how to entwine their legs, but when they were settled, both men found the position to be inexplicably comfortable.

Feeling Oikawa's shoulders shake with mirth, Iwaizumi growled down at him, "One fucking word, Shittykawa, and I'm not even sleeping in the same house as you."

Oikawa pressed his face closer to Iwaizumi's chest.

"Told you I could get you to sleep with me, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi glared down at the brunette and pinched the top of his ear, causing the brunette to pull away, laughing.

"Stop, Iwa-chan! So rough!" Oikawa whined, breathless with laughter as he wiggled under the covers, trying to protect his ears.

"You're a little brat, you know that?" Iwaizumi mumbled, feeling himself drift closer to sleep, despite the warm body next to him.

Oikawa hummed under the covers and Iwaizumi came screaming back to alertness when he felt soft, warm lips graze the inside of his wrist, just above his bracelet.

The prince pulled away before Iwaizumi could jerk back. Oikawa sighed and nestled back into his previous position, head tucked under Iwaizumi's.

The raven stayed awake long after Oikawa's breathing softened and evened out. He tried to convince his thundering heart to calm down and let him sleep.

Sleep was a long time coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was "The Chapter" for quotes, let me tell you...
> 
> "There is a science of war, but how strange there isn't a science of peace." -Audrey Hepburn
> 
> "i am afraid that if i open myself i will not stop pouring (why do i fear becoming a river. What mountain gave me such shame.)" -Jamie Oliveira, "Erosion" (via featherumbrellas)
> 
> "Just because you are soft doesn't mean you are not a force. Honey and wildfire are both the color gold." -Victoria Erickson, Edge of Wonder: Notes from the Wildness of Being (via woodlandfawn)
> 
> Also, I'd like to remind every one that kawa in Japanese means river and iwa means rock soooooo do with that information what you will. I insinuated it heavily here and I will not apologize. I think it is utterly beautiful.
> 
> (kawa apparently can also mean leather but I'll hear none of that blasphemy on here)
> 
> So sorry this took me so long, but I'm proof reading this all on my own and I am such a terrible perfectionist with an oddly timed streak of apathy (sister of mine, if you're reading this, I hate you so much for not helping me right now)
> 
> As always, I am forever grateful there's even a hint of positive feedback for this so shout out to you guys, you're all so great! Please be patient with me, I'm a deeply sensitive soul lol


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, a LOT happens in this chapter and it really is testing me. I hope it's not too much shoved into one, I just couldn't find anywhere to segue into the next chapter.
> 
> And boy did I try, I didn't even mean to add a flashback in there but the cutest idea just came to me so now there's an extra 800 words on top of an already long ass chapter.
> 
> Also, if you're not one for cliff-hangers, you might want to wait for the next chapter. I'm so sorry, I know that frustrates me to no end, but if I didn't end it there, it would've been a ridiculously long chapter and while I know some people don't mind, I didn't want it to feel like the story was just rambling on.

All Oikawa felt was pain. Every breath triggered a wave of nausea. When he cracked open his eyes, he almost cried out at the brightness of the sun attacking his brain through his eyeballs.

Oikawa groaned and moved his head to get the sun out of his, now closed, eyes, pushing his face into something warm, almost hot. The prince turned his face, catching the faint smell of sharp lavender and something else he couldn't name. The smell was something Oikawa could only describe as being from the forest. Dark and of the earth.

Deciding it was a pleasant smell, Oikawa sighed and moved closer to the warmth, hoping death by smothering was a peaceful way to go.

Then the warmth moved, startling Oikawa, making him pull back, the room tilting around him. Seeing the source of the warmth was another person, Oikawa furrowed his brow.

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa croaked out, voice thick with sleep and whatever poison he had drank last night.

Iwaizumi pulled his eyes open, humming sleepily.

"What are you-? Why are-? What happened last night?" Oikawa stuttered out, trying to pull himself up without vomiting, which was proving to be herculean task.

Iwaizumi groaned, pulling his arms over his head in a stretch and Oikawa noted with some odd mixture of relief and disappointment, that they both had all their clothes on.

Turning his head, Iwaizumi watched the prince, "You remember anything?"

Oikawa screwed up his face, trying to string the weird flashes from last night into a comprehensive memory.

"Uh, I was dancing," Oikawa glanced at Iwaizumi to see him nod slightly.

"Ok, I was dancing and I saw you. We talked and," Oikawa winced, "drank some more."

Iwaizumi scoffed lightly, " _You_ , Shittykawa, you drank way more."

Oikawa groaned, not needing that particular reminder.

"Whatever. _I_ drank more and then," Oikawa paused, scrunching up his face.

"We came back here?" Oikawa glanced back at Iwaizumi who was still watching him with his head propped up on his arms.

"Anything else?" Iwaizumi asked softly.

"No, just weird flashes," Oikawa sighed, rubbing his temples, "Did we talk about mountains and rivers?"

Now it was Iwaizumi's turn to be confused.

"Uh, no. We didn't," Iwaizumi answered.

Oikawa groaned again, "Then I honestly have no idea what happened."

Iwaizumi was silent for several seconds and Oikawa glanced back at him again to find a contemplative look on his face.

"Why? Did I do something?" A brief flash of worry twisted Oikawa's overly sensitive gut.

The prince knew from experience he got overly-animated when he was drunk. Normally, it wasn't a big deal because he never let himself get that wasted, but last night, he'd had a lot on his mind and decided he wanted to not have to worry about things for a while.

Oikawa felt if anyone could handle him when he was like that, it was Iwaizumi. And now, seeing the raven's troubled expression, the prince began to have doubts. He didn't think he'd ever be able to forgive himself if he'd done something to upset Iwaizumi when he was like that.

Iwaizumi glanced up, surprised at the question and shook his head, "No, nothing bad. Just your usual, annoying self."

Oikawa scoffed and winced, pushing his fingers harder into his head.

"Well that's a relief," Oikawa mumbled.

Iwaizumi hummed in response behind him and Oikawa looked back again to see an odd look on Iwaizumi's face, brow pulled down and bottom lip between his teeth. The raven almost looked unsure of himself, but that didn't make any sense to the prince.

"Hey," Oikawa interrupted Iwaizumi's thoughts, nudging his feet under the covers and making the raven look at him before continuing, "You'd tell me if something happened, right?"

It was more or less a rhetorical question. It wouldn't surprise Oikawa in the slightest if Iwaizumi was truly bothered by last night and just wouldn't tell him what he'd done. No it wouldn't surprised him, he just wanted to offer the raven an out.

Iwaizumi twisted his mouth to the side and glanced out the window across the room, "Nothing happened, we just talked."

Oikawa hummed, "About what?"

Iwaizumi pulled himself up to lean his back against the headboard and shrugged, "I don't know, Shittykawa. Just stuff about the truce."

Not a lie. Unfortunately, Iwaizumi was getting good at telling half-truths.

"Ah," Oikawa threaded his fingers through his hair and paused at the familiar feeling. A faint memory, so blurry it might have been a dream of Iwaizumi pushing his own fingers through the brown strands. Not in a heated, passionate way, more like a comforting, soothing way.

Why did he need to be comforted last night?

Oikawa tried his best to dig more memories up, he felt Iwaizumi's hand in his hair more solidly now, so if he could just remember what they were talking about, the prince felt that he could put the whole night together.

The prince growled in frustration and turned to glare at Iwaizumi, giving him a look that told the raven he wasn't believing him for a second.

"Fine, Iwa-chan. Don't tell me," Oikawa sighed bitterly before angling himself to lower his feet on the floor, "It wouldn't be the first time."

Iwaizumi was quiet for a while and Oikawa didn't bother looking up to see what kind of face he was making this time. Which was good because Iwaizumi didn't feel like being scrutinized just yet.

Not when he could still hear Oikawa's soft voice.

_"You left me all alone."_

_"Why are you being so nice to me?"_

_"I could forgive my Iwa-chan for anything."_

Everything was on a constant loop and Iwaizumi struggled to focus on what Oikawa was saying at the moment. Now that the prince had stopped speaking, Iwaizumi worried he had upset him, but was unable to bring himself to tell the brunette exactly what they had talked about last night.

_"I could forgive my Iwa-chan for anything."_

Iwaizumi stared at the back of Oikawa's head as the prince hung it between his knees off the side of the bed.

Would Iwaizumi be strong enough to test that theory?

Oikawa felt the bed dip as Iwaizumi moved around him, but he couldn't find it in himself to look up.

"Here."

Oikawa felt something nudge the inside of his wrist and he peeled an eye open to look at the cup of water Iwaizumi held out for him.

"How can I even think about drinking anything right now, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa mumbled miserably.

"Just shut up and drink it," Iwaizumi pushed the cup into Oikawa's hand, forcing him to either hold it or drop it. The latter choice almost won out, but the prince thought the sound of breaking glass might actually permanently damage his brain.

"It's got some light painkillers Rinta was kind enough to let you have," Iwaizumi said, pulling up the chair beside the bed and sliding into it.

Oikawa squinted at the clear liquid and sniffed it skeptically.

"Are you trying out the placebo effect on me, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa lifted an eyebrow at the raven, "This is just water."

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest, "Not all medicine has to taste bad. Just shut up and enjoy the benefits of generations of collected medical knowledge."

"You talk too much," Oikawa grumbled, bringing the glass to his lips and taking a tentative sip.

Iwaizumi scoffed softly, but stayed silent, watching Oikawa drain the water. With the glass empty, the prince got up to stumble/vertically-crawl to the bathroom.

There, he splashed water on his face and tried to at least make it so his hair looked halfway presentable. He grimaced at his reflection, his bloodshot eyes and dehydrated lips stood out against the pallid tone of his skin.

Again, he tried to conjure up the events of last night. He got as far as the moment Iwaizumi set him on the bed and he grabbed at his shirt, then it goes blank. Until he feels Iwaizumi's strong, steady hands in his hair, fingernails scraping pleasantly and soothingly in tight circles. If Oikawa could just remember a few words, everything would fall into place, he just knew it.

When the prince got back, Iwaizumi was staring out the window with that same hesitant look on his face, as if he were trying to convince himself of something.

Oikawa laid gently back on the bed, throwing one arm up and over his eyes, blocking out the worst of the blinding afternoon light.

The room was quiet for a long time before Iwaizumi spoke softly.

"We need to talk."

Oikawa snorted and winced at the sharp ache the action sent through his skull.

"The question isn't whether we need to talk, but where should we even start," Oikawa sighed, not lifting his arm.

Iwaizumi pursed his lips, "You don't have to be an asshole about everything."

Oikawa smiled softly, "But I'm just so good at it."

"Fine. Forget it," Iwaizumi shrugged and turned his head to frown at the wall.

Oikawa lifted his arm to squint at Iwaizumi, "Ok, ok, I'll stop. Say what you have to say, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi stared at the wall a little longer before cracking his knuckles against his thighs in a show of nerves.

"You realize that arrow was meant for you, yeah?" Iwaizumi glanced at Oikawa out of the corner of his eye.

Oikawa lifted an eyebrow.

"Yeah," the prince said quietly, eyes softening, "and you took it instead."

Iwaizumi shifted uncomfortably in his seat, gripping his bracelets habitually.

"You're not as bothered by people trying to kill you as you should be," Iwaizumi stated.

"Why would I worry when I've always got you to protect me, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa grinned lazily at him.

Iwaizumi glared at Oikawa, "At least try to take this seriously, this is now the second time you nearly died."

Oikawa sighed and draped his arm back over his face, "I did nothing but think about it in that cave, Iwa, but when I realized what kind of state you were in, I became a little preoccupied with keeping you alive. Then, when we got here, and you were safe," Oikawa shrugged on the bed, admitting softly, "I just didn't want to think about it anymore."

"Well, it's important to think about now. When we meet back up with the others, we need to make sure they're more vigilant. Maybe have them pair up. Since they seem to be getting a long so well, I don't think it would be that big an issue, even with Hanamaki," Iwaizumi began mumbling to himself, lost in his thoughts and Oikawa had to sigh dramatically to get the raven to stop.

"Iwa-chan! I'm literal seconds away from puking my guts out and you're trying to talk about shit that can wait?" Oikawa passed a heavy hand across his face, "Seriously? Is this what you wanted to talk about?"

"I just want you to be more careful, Shittykawa!" Iwaizumi shouted, gripping the sides of the chair, "That wasn't the first attempt on your life and it won't be last, so if you can just, please, take this situation more seriously!"

Oikawa raised an eyebrow and lifted his arm to peer at the distraught raven across the room.

It wasn't his yelling that concerned the prince, Iwaizumi yell at him all the time. No, what worried Oikawa was the desperation of it, the pleading.

Iwaizumi wasn't even looking at the prince, his head was turned towards the wall, but his focus wasn't on anything here, Oikawa could see that. Iwaizumi had a hand raised and absently digging into his shoulder, massaging it. The same shoulder that had been previously dislocated.

The prince watched as Iwaizumi chewed on his bottom lip, fingers tightening on his shoulder. Whatever he was keeping himself from saying was eating away at him.

"Iwa, what is it?" Oikawa asked quietly.

Iwaizumi looked up at Oikawa and away just as quickly, hand dropping into his lap as if he just realized what he was doing. The raven hesitated before speaking again.

"He's still out there, you know."

Oikawa lifted his head up from the bed, distracted from the spinning of the room by the sound of Iwaizumi's voice. When had the raven ever sounded so small?

"Whoever's trying to kill you is skilled enough to follow us and escape all of our detection. Even with all those watches, none of us had any idea he was there until it was almost too late. And-," Iwaizumi clenched his hands in his lap, "and I'm worried I won't see it coming next time."

"Iwa-," Oikawa began, but was cut off by the raven.

"It would be foolish to think you weren't followed here," Iwaizumi didn't want to talk about that last part. Wasn't even sure why he'd said it.

Oikawa furrowed his brow, "Well, if I was followed, they had plenty of opportunities to kill me in the forest, why didn't they?"

"I don't know, Oikawa. I don't know anything," Iwaizumi pushed himself up and began to pace around the small room.

"Do you think it's the same people who tried to kill me when we were kids?" Oikawa asked.

Too close. Iwaizumi threw Oikawa a glance. He's getting too close. This was why Iwaizumi didn't want to talk to the prince about any of this. He was always too bright for his own good.

"I don't know," Iwaizumi lied, coming to a stop behind the chair and gripping the back of it to keep himself from fidgeting.

Now, Oikawa was far from an expert at reading Iwaizumi's face, but the raven was practically like an open book anyways and the prince wasn't _too_ hungover to miss the force with which he was gripping that chair.

Oikawa narrowed his eyes and placed a hand under his head to keep it propped up in order to watch Iwaizumi closer.

"Iwaizumi."

The raven looked up, startled at the use of his actual name in place of the more common nickname. He guessed the time had come for the prince to get serious and Iwaizumi dreaded it.

"This is what you wanted to talk to me about, right? Please say it. I swear I'll listen."

The room stayed silent and in the quiet, Oikawa massaged his own head absently, feeling the medicine begin to take hold of his hangover. The brunette watched from his place on the bed, keeping the quiet going while Iwaizumi chewed his lip and fought with himself.

The raven opened and closed his mouth multiple times. Each time he opened it, Iwaizumi was sure this was the moment he'd been waiting for, but then the image of Oikawa's face surfaced, plagued with hurt and betrayal and Iwaizumi stopped himself.

But he needed Oikawa to understand the seriousness of all this.

"You can't ask me how I know what I know," Iwaizumi mumbled into the quiet room.

Oikawa raised his eyebrows and sat up fully, nausea and headache on hold for the time being.

"Okay," Oikawa said, stretching the syllables, wondering what the raven was thinking.

Iwaizumi closed his eyes, letting the wood from the chair ground him.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath, "I think they're after both you and your father, trying to replace your lineage on the throne."

The raven felt his heart thundering in his chest. No going back now.

Hearing Oikawa spring up from the bed, Iwaizumi opened his eyes to see the confusion on the prince's face.

"What are you talking about? What do you mean?" Oikawa threaded his fingers through his unkempt hair, pulling at the knots and rounding on Iwaizumi, "Is my father in danger? Do you know who's doing this?"

"Just hold on, Oikawa," Iwaizumi let go of the chair, backing up a little to keep space between them, "One thing at a time."

"No, fuck you!" Oikawa shouted, passing a slightly shaking hand over his forehead, trying to quell the throbbing behind his eyes, "I asked you if my father was in danger!"

Iwaizumi winced at the harsh tone, feeling his heart sink into his stomach.

"I think it might be too late, Oikawa," Iwaizumi answered softly, reaching a hand out to comfort the brunette.

As soon as Iwaizumi's hands touched Oikawa's shoulders, the prince shoved them off.

"No, don't touch me!" Oikawa shouted, digging his hands once again into his hair and turning to sit back on the bed before springing back to his feet. The prince was in constant, frantic motion, halfway though an action before moving on to the next one.

"We have to go back," Oikawa said, hands dropping to his hip where his sword would be. He glanced down as if thrown off track by the missing weapon.

"We can't, Oikawa," Iwaizumi said softly, afraid to speak too loud, in stark contrast to the prince's behavior, "We're a month out and I told you I think it's already too late."

"What the hell do you know?!" Oikawa yell at him, powering through his headache.

"You've-, you-," Oikawa pressed his fingertips hard into his temples, trying not to get side-tracked with the pain.

Breathing deeply, he tried again, "When exactly did this thought occur to you? Hm?"

Iwaizumi pursed his lips, "I told you not to ask me how I know."

"Oh, so I'm not allowed to know how long you've kept this life altering thing from me?" Oikawa seethed, fingers flexing next to his legs, aching to ball up into fists.

"Was it before or after your people ambushed us in the woods?" Oikawa asked, taking a menacing step towards Iwaizumi.

The raven held his ground, turning his face stubbornly to the side as Oikawa got closer with his next question.

"Was it before we even left the kingdom?"

More silence.

"Holy shit, Iwaizumi. Was it before you even got to Aoba Johsai?" Oikawa asked incredulously.

"N-no."

Iwaizumi shouldn't have answered. As soon as he said it, he wished he could take it back because he saw Oikawa's face change from lost and confused, to focused and deadly.

There was blood in the water and Iwaizumi was lost at sea.

"So after you got there, but before we left," Oikawa's voice trailed off, trying to fit in the things he learned from what he remembered.

Iwaizumi watched in muted horror as Oikawa's face flitted through every memory. He saw ideas take hold in the milk chocolate of his eyes. Iwaizumi shouldn't have said anything about Oikawa's father. He knew the prince would ask too many questions.

Oikawa took another step towards Iwaizumi, scanning his face for any other hints.

"The night they injured your shoulder," Oikawa said, fishing for a reaction.

The raven's brow twitched downwards and Oikawa continued.

"Tell me who."

"Does this really matter right now, Oikawa?" Iwaizumi shoved off the chair he was holding on to in order to turn and face the window. The raven was tired of being read so easily.

"Of course it matters!" Oikawa shouted, "If they hate my family so much, I probably know them! Don't I deserve to know who's after me?"

Iwaizumi pressed his lips together, staring at his own reflection in the glass. Why could he never deny this man anything?

"I don't know his name," Iwaizumi admitted softly.

"His face," Oikawa moved to stand next to Iwaizumi, trying to get the shorter man to look at him, pleading, "Iwa, tell me what he looks like."

Iwaizumi didn't dare look at the man beside him. Just watching Oikawa's profile reflected in the glass was enough to make the raven crack and bend.

"Blue eyes, black medium length hair," Iwaizumi whispered, stifling an involuntary shiver at the memory of the man's gaze, "His eyes were cold, almost lifeless."

Oikawa swore and paced the room, fingers shoving their way through his hair again.

Iwaizumi turned to watch the distress, "Who is he?"

Oikawa looked at him, face pulled down in distaste, " _Fucking_ Kageyama," the prince spit the name, "He discovers some miniscule, distant relation to the throne and suddenly his son is the one, true king."

Oikawa scoffed and stopped his pacing at the opposite wall.

After a pause, the prince turned back to look at Iwaizumi, "He was the one who hurt you that day?"

Iwaizumi's eyebrows raised at the sight of simmering rage in Oikawa's eyes. The raven hoped that lethal emotion wasn't for him.

"More or less," Iwaizumi whispered.

"Why?" Oikawa demanded, "He's a disgustingly practical man, he wouldn't torture just for fun, there has to be a reason. So, did he want something from you?"

Iwaizumi's mouth twisted to the side as his moment finally came. The raven looked at Oikawa, face full of remorse.

"Oikawa, I'm so sorry," Iwaizumi murmured.

"Iwa," Oikawa whispered, feeling his heart sink in his chest. Iwaizumi never apologized. Not with words, at least.

******

_They were both ten and Tooru had been in a particularly playful mood all day, all his classes had been put off for a few days as the prince's reward for being so far ahead. Now the brunette felt like he had an endless supply of energy and Iwaizumi was being dragged along._

_Iwaizumi had found a stick almost as big as him and he was occupying himself with seeing just how hard he could swing it. Sometimes, if he swung it hard enough, he could hear the wind whistling around it._

_The raven had been ignoring Tooru practically all day and the brunette folded his arms across his chest, unhappy with this turn of events. He finally had all this energy and Iwaizumi couldn't even spare him the time of day. He needed to get his attention somehow._

_With the raven's back to the prince, he couldn't see the moment a mischievous light illuminated those big brown eyes._

_Taking a running head start, Tooru sprinted at full speed and leaped onto Iwaizumi's back._

_Iwaizumi stumbled, letting go of his stick to reach back and hold Tooru up on his back. Once the raven was sure they both wouldn't fall, his irritation spiked and he forcefully shoved Tooru off him, making the boy hit the ground rather hard._

_"You can't just do that, stupid!" Iwaizumi shouted at the brunette._

_Tooru sniffled and began to tear up, at the pain of being dropped or from the unexpected yelling, he didn't know._

_"That hurt, Iwa-chan," Tooru whimpered._

_The brunette wiped at his face and pulled his knees up to hide his ugly crying face from his mean friend._

_Tooru peeked up when he heard Iwaizumi sit down beside him, his small hands fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt and his mouth opening and closing like the words were right on his tongue._

_Tooru waited for the apology he knew the raven wanted to say, but it never came and the prince turned to bury his face in his arms again, not even noticing Iwaizumi had left his side until he came back several minutes later._

_No longer crying, Tooru glared up at Iwaizumi as he sat down beside him again. He would have called the raven mean words, but something about the look on the other boy's face told him anything he said would be nothing compared to whatever he was saying to himself._

_Iwaizumi held something out to Tooru in his hands, his face turned stubbornly away while the brunette inspected his offering._

_It was pretty. Tooru picked it up carefully. He liked pretty things._

_It was a small circlet made of the many wildflowers found in the woods, it was all the different colors held together by stalks of lavender._

_"For me?" Tooru asked, dumbly. Iwaizumi never really gave him anything before and the prince wasn't sure if he was allowed to just take it._

_Iwaizumi rolled his eyes but nodded anyways, gesturing to the circlet, "It's not like it'll last long. It's just a bunch of dumb flowers."_

_The brunette looked down at the 'dumb' flowers and smiled. He shoved the circlet back at Iwaizumi._

_"Put it on me," Tooru grinned._

_The raven scoffed and grumbled something about the boy acting too big for his britches sometimes. But he lifted the circlet of flowers and laid them on top of Oikawa's head, where they nestled perfectly in the soft, brown hair._

_"How do I look, Iwa-chan?" Tooru crowed._

_Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow as he appraised the smaller boy. The flashes of blues, reds, and yellows melded flawlessly with Oikawa's chestnut hair. Light pink, puffy eyes looked at him expectantly and even just minutes after crying and with a handmade crown of flowers, the brunette somehow looked like he was made for it. Like something worth a lot more than the forest flora was meant to sit atop his head. The boy looked...regal._

_It was a dumb thought and Iwaizumi shoved it down._

_"Like you have flowers in your stupid hair," Iwaizumi mumbled, crossing his arms in front of him._

_Tooru laughed lightly and began picking at his fingers in his lap._

_"Thank you, Iwa-chan," Tooru said, suddenly getting quiet, "And I'm sorry I jumped on you like that."_

_Iwaizumi hummed, "If you wanted me to carry you, all you had to do was ask."_

_The raven pulled on the bottom of his shirt, looking off to the side._

_Tooru smiled softly at Iwaizumi. Maybe if it was anyone else, they would have demanded a verbal apology and maybe when they first met, the prince would have done the same. But now, Tooru knew how sorry Iwaizumi was without the raven having to tell him. He made things right in his own way and who was Tooru to ask for more than that?_

******

No, Oikawa thought, Iwaizumi didn't apologize with words. Or rather, he'd never done anything that warranted such an apology.

"Iwa, what did you do?" Oikawa asked, afraid of the answer.

The raven winced at the distress in Oikawa's voice. It was too late to salvage anything, so maybe he should just break it beyond repair.

"They asked me to keep you occupied the night before we left," Iwaizumi whispered, feeling that familiar weight on his chest. There it was again, the feeling of something important slipping away.

Oikawa took a moment to let the words sink in and he remembered. The way Iwaizumi had asked where he was going that night and even though Oikawa had thought it was odd to be asked, he still answered, saying he was going to see his father.

The acute distress he had seen on the raven's face that night. The fear he had seen.

"You kept me out of the way so they could harm my father," Oikawa's voice fell flat in the small room.

It wasn't a question and Iwaizumi didn't answer. He only tried to let the prince see how sorry he was.

Oikawa brought a hand to cover his face, rubbing at his eyes and through his hair. Where did he even start thinking this one out?

"You were willing to let my father die and not even tell me?" Oikawa felt his voice rising and could do nothing to stop it.

Iwaizumi knew this would happen. He'd tried to avoid it for as long as he could.

"Oikawa please, listen-," Iwaizumi tried.

"No!" Oikawa shouted, hands clenched by his sides, "No, don't you dare try to explain yourself to me right now."

Oikawa turned to face the doorway, hand over his mouth to try and keep at least some of the hateful words in.

"What did they give you?" Oikawa asked, still facing the wall.

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow, "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Oikawa turned back around to hiss across the room, "What did they give you for the opportunity to hurt my father? It must have been something pretty fucking good. So what was it? I want to know."

Iwaizumi's gaze darted out the window, out the doorway, looking for a way out of this conversation.

"They didn't-," Iwaizumi stuttered, "They-I didn't-."

Oikawa dipped down to pull one of Iwaizumi's daggers from the harness that lay forgotten in the corner. Shakily, the prince pointed it at him.

"Tell me what they gave you."

Iwaizumi shook his head, "They didn't give me anything, Shittykawa, put that down."

"No!" Oikawa shouted, his grip tightening on the handle. The blade was a lot heavier than Oikawa remembered it being, "They gave you something, I know they did."

"They didn't!" Iwaizumi shouted. How was he supposed to tell Oikawa that he sold him and his father out for more time with the prince? How was he supposed to live with the disgust he would see on Oikawa's face? He couldn't.

Oikawa's brow furrowed and before Iwaizumi could stop him, the prince had crossed the room and pushed Iwaizumi against the wall next to the window.

Laying the flat of the blade against Iwaizumi's neck, Oikawa hissed, "Tell me what it was, Iwaizumi, or I swear I'll do it."

The raven sucked in a painful breath as his back hit the wall, his wound gave a sharp throb against the wood. Iwaizumi didn't truly think Oikawa would hurt him beyond repair, but right now, the shorter man could only find the smallest traces of his childhood best friend in those hot, angry eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Tooru," Iwaizumi murmured, looking at nothing but Oikawa's furious brown eyes.

The prince gripped the dagger's handle harder, his jaw clenched. Twice. Iwaizumi had apologized to him twice now.

"Tell me what they gave you," Oikawa whispered, face so close to Iwaizumi, he could see the raven's pupils dilate as the prince pressed the edge closer into his skin.

Iwaizumi gasped as he felt the metal bite into the soft skin of his neck. He tried to press further into the wall behind him, but his arrow wound screamed at him.

"Fuck, Oikawa," Iwaizumi cursed, gritting his teeth through the pain in his back and neck.

"It was-," Iwaizumi swallowed thickly, "T-time. They gave me more time."

Oikawa pulled the dagger back and looked down at Iwaizumi, confused.

"Time?" Oikawa mumbled, brow furrowing, "Time for what?"

Iwaizumi leaned his head back heavily on the wall, taking a deep breath.

"They would've killed you if you interfered and even though they said they were killing you anyways, I did what they wanted because-," Iwaizumi stopped short before deciding maybe it was time Oikawa knew just how selfish the raven really was.

"I did it because I wasn't ready to lose you. Not again," Iwaizumi whispered, "I needed more time."

The weight of the dagger disappeared from Iwaizumi's neck, but the raven refused to open his eyes. He heard the clatter of metal hitting the floor and the sound of Oikawa shuffling back a few steps.

"Again?" Oikawa mumbled, "You mean when we were kids?"

A small nod from Iwaizumi.

"Was I the thing you lost?" Oikawa whispered softly. So quietly, Iwaizumi didn't think he was meant to hear it.

But he did.

Iwaizumi opened his eyes to stare at the prince, "Who said that?"

Oikawa barely registered the uptick in Iwaizumi's voice.

"Rinta did," Oikawa mumbled, feeling around for the right question he wanted to ask.

"Why?" Oikawa stammered, staring at Iwaizumi, "Why take that arrow? Why go through so much effort? Ju-just why?

The raven sighed and ran a hand desperately through his hair.

"Because I'm a fucking bastard, Oikawa! Look at me," Iwaizumi threw his arms out wide, accepting the burn in his back as a sort of punishment.

"I've never done a selfless thing in my life! Never done something that didn't somehow benefit me. Coming to Aoba Johsai even when everyone tried to talk me out of it? Selfish!" Iwaizumi leaned harder into the wall behind him, feeling more pain.

"Kissing you like that? With everything I knew? Fucking selfish," Oikawa winced at the bitterness in his voice, but Iwaizumi didn't stop, "So yeah, I did what they asked me. I'd do it again, too. I'm only sorry I couldn't keep this from you until we made it to Center City, because I can't fucking _stand_ the way you're looking at me right now."

Iwaizumi clenched his hands out beside him and watched as some kind of light went out in Oikawa's eyes. It didn't go out all at once. Things like that take time and Iwaizumi was helpless to stop it from growing fainter and fainter.

The raven felt like his heart had actually cracked. A fissure formed and plunged deep down in Iwaizumi's chest, making it harder and harder to breathe.

That unique radiance reserved only for when the prince looked at Iwaizumi was nowhere to be found. Iwaizumi was no longer special. The world no longer looked dull in comparison to the raven's silhouette.

Now, Oikawa could finally see him for everything he was. Everything he had always been; a deeply flawed, utterly selfish individual.

It only struck Iwaizumi now that it was gone, just how much he had treasured the way Oikawa looked at him. Some part of Iwaizumi thought if the prince could look at him like that, then maybe he was someone worth the effort. Someone worth standing next to such a remarkable person.

Iwaizumi couldn't take it anymore and shut his eyes, sliding down to sit with his back against the wall.

"That's not why."

Iwaizumi's eyes sprang open to stare at Oikawa.

The prince had his jaw set and his eyes burned into Iwaizumi, different than before, but no less intense.

"I don't accept that reason," Oikawa said, "if that's what you want to tell yourself, then fine, but don't expect me to swallow that bullshit."

Oikawa turned to leave, throwing over his shoulder, "I'm going out to find the rest of the group. Come find me when you want to have an actual conversation."

Iwaizumi stared at nothing while Oikawa left. He never heard the sound of the front door and the raven wondered if Rinta caught him on the way out.

Iwaizumi's eye caught on the gleam of his dagger on the floor where Oikawa had dropped it. A detached part of his brain noted how clean his weapon was. Like it had been cleaned while he was unconscious.

Reaching out to grab his dagger, Iwaizumi winced at the pull in his back. He shoved himself up slowly, stumbling to the other side of the room to put the weapon back in its sheath, loosely throwing the harness over his shoulders, not even bothering to fasten it across his chest.

Pulling the curtain aside, Iwaizumi walked into the hallway, catching the faint sounds of hushed voices coming from near the front door.

Iwaizumi rounded the corner in time to see Oikawa catch his eye and straighten slightly. An oddly shaped object was clutched in his hands, wrapped in some kind of cloth.

Rinta turned to look at what caught Oikawa's attention and pursed her lips at the sight of Iwaizumi.

No one spoke for several seconds.

Oikawa clenched the object in his hands harder against his chest and spoke to Rinta, ignoring Iwaizumi's presence.

"Thank you, Rinta. I'll think about what you said," Oikawa went to turn towards the door, pausing at the last second, seeing the look on Rinta's face.

The smaller woman hesitated, throwing a glance at Iwaizumi.

"Please be careful, Tooru," Rinta ran a light finger along the rough fabric in his hands and whispered, "Don't try to take more than you can handle, ok?"

A crease formed in Oikawa's brow as he tipped his head in a small nod and disappeared through the door.

Rinta stared at the closed door, twisting her fingers in her hands, hoping she did the right thing.

"What was that?" Iwaizumi asked.

Though the words sounded confrontational, the raven was too emotionally drained to say them with any real anger.

"He said he needed space," Rinta inhaled deeply, smoothing her fingers over her hips to keep them still, "He'll need something to protect himself if he's going to be out there by himself."

Iwaizumi nodded slowly, his fingers crawling through his hair.

"I should, uh-," Iwaizumi paused to rub at his face, "I should go with him."

"Leave him be, Iwaizumi-sama."

"You know-," Iwaizumi's voice grew irritated, clenching his hands and suppressing the need to pace, "You had no right to tell him anything about me like that."

Rinta turned to fully face the raven, confused at his sudden mood swing.

"Tell him what?" Rinta asked, "The only thing I've ever told that man is the truth."

"No, you told him something he had no right to know," Iwaizumi snapped.

Rinta raised her eyebrows, taking a few seconds to make sure she responded the way she wanted.

"If I've overstepped some boundary, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

"You told him I looked like I lost something when we were kids and now he thinks it was him," Iwaizumi glared at her, crossing his arms across his chest, "That was nothing but speculation and you had no business telling him."

"I see," Rinta placed her hands on her hips, "Do you not remember yourself back then?"

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow, glancing away from Rinta's stern stare.

"You don't remember how quiet you got?" Rinta was unfazed by the lack of eye contact, "You don't remember staring off into the forest like you were just waiting for it to give you answers?"

The raven's mouth twisted to the side.

"You might not think you lost something, but that doesn't mean you came back to us whole."

"Rinta stop," Iwaizumi mumbled. He didn't want to hear this, he didn't want to remember how he was through someone else's eyes.

"You lost all that childlike fascination with medicine and became obsessed with it," Rinta ignored Iwaizumi's clear discomfort, "It wasn't healthy, but I never said anything did I? Because I knew you needed it and now I understand why. You needed something big enough to fit into your life in order to forget the overwhelming presence of that-,"

"I said stop!" Iwaizumi shouted, slamming his hand against the wall and startling Rinta into silence.

Iwaizumi pursed his lips and adjusted the bracelets on his wrists, avoiding Rinta's eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose and opened his mouth to apologize for his outburst when he stopped.

Cocking his head to the side, Iwaizumi turned slightly, facing down the hallway, eyes and ears searching for something he wasn't finding. It was like the drone of crickets going missing. Something so small it only tickles the back of your mind until you suddenly remember what used to fill that silence.

Iwaizumi turned back to Rinta, still standing at the front door, but he wasn't seeing her. His eyes were unfocused, looking beyond the walls of the house.

"Rinta, what did you give him?" Iwaizumi asked quietly. Deadly quiet.

Rinta stiffened.

"I told you, I gave him weapons," the elder answered, just as softly.

"What. Weapons?" Iwaizumi asked between clenched teeth.

Now it was Rinta's turn to look away, bringing her hands nervously behind her back, she whispered, "I think you know what weapons I gave him."

Iwaizumi stared at Rinta for several seconds. Long enough to make her shift under the scrutiny.

The raven stepped forward slowly, so slowly, it almost looked like he didn't move until he was right in front of her.

"Does he know what those things will do to him?" Iwaizumi's voice never rose higher than a whisper, but Rinta still found herself taking a small step back.

"You think I gave them to him and didn't tell him what could happen?" Rinta crossed her arms in front of her chest, using them as a barrier between them.

"We don't know what could happen, Rinta!" Iwaizumi suddenly exclaimed, making Rinta jump, "There's no way to predict what could happen to any of us, let alone someone from Aoba Johsai."

Iwaizumi stopped talking to pace the room, holding a hand over his mouth. He couldn't believe this was happening. Not once did he think Oikawa and those weapons would ever be in the same room and now he was out there traipsing through the forest with them.

They were volatile, unpredictable things and Oikawa had no idea what he was messing with.

"You told him it was dangerous and he still took them?" Iwaizumi couldn't seem to get past that one fact.

Rinta huffed a sigh, "I might have told him how they could make him understand you better and he seemed willing to accept the risks."

"That doesn't-, Rinta, that doesn't make any sense," Iwaizumi spread his hands, "You must not have explained it properly. Does he know he could burn alive from the sudden influx of energy?"

Rinta said nothing and Iwaizumi surged forward, gripping the tops of her arms and shaking her as lightly as he could manage in his distress.

"Rinta, does he know he could become someone else entirely?" Iwaizumi hissed down at her.

And that was the true rub of it. The thing Iwaizumi feared the most. Yes, the prince could burn and that image alone would haunt the raven's nightmares, but the thought of Oikawa not being himself stole the very breath from his lungs.

The idea of those beautiful brown eyes turning cold and his carefree laugh being laced with contempt was too much for Iwaizumi. The thought of Oikawa being right in front of him, but nowhere to be found was horrific and Iwaizumi's brain supplied him endless images of it.

Rinta tried to pry the hands off her arms. Failing that, she glared up at her capture, "You think him some weak minded boy?"

Iwaizumi pulled back at the venom in her voice, giving Rinta the opportunity to shove his hands off.

"For someone who thinks the world of that man, do you really not see how incredible he is?" Rinta spat, tired of having to explain herself.

For a small second, Iwaizumi was at a lose for words.

"Of course I can see that," Iwaizumi mumbled.

"Then start acting like it," Rinta snapped.

"Rinta," Iwaizumi took a deep breath, reminding himself he wasn't the one in the wrong here, "You're the one who sent him off, alone, with our country's most valuable assets. Maybe _you_ should start acting like you can see how fucked up that is."

Rinta stubbornly looked off to the side, clenching her jaw, "I'm not sorry I did it. The council gave me the Elemental weapons to find an actual successor."

"We _have_ a successor," Iwaizumi said, exasperated.

"That _child_ ," Rinta scoffed, clenching her hands as she seethed, "can barely be in the same room as the weapons. I'm doing us all a favor. An Elemental without their weapon is useless!"

"So you give them to someone from Aoba Johsai?!" Iwaizumi shouted, "And not just anybody, you gave them to the fucking _heir_."

The raven said the words like it was some great reveal and Rinta raised her eyebrows at the tone.

"Do you think I'm deaf, Iwaizumi? Or maybe just stupid?" Rinta laid her hands on her hips, "I recognized that childish nickname for the royal family immediately, so don't act like that was supposed to be kept a secret."

"You knew and you just gave them away?!" Iwaizumi asked, incredulously.

"I didn't _give_ them away," Rinta barked back.

"Gods," Iwaizumi ran a hand down his face, digging in particularly hard around his eyes, "I don't have time for this. The more we fight, the farther away he gets with those weapons and we need them back."

"I'm not taking them back," Rinta declared, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Oh yes you are," Iwaizumi glared at her as he moved to open the door, "And this discussion isn't over. We're continuing this when I get back."

Rinta clenched her jaw and turned to look angrily at the wall as the door closed behind Iwaizumi.

Grumbling to himself, Iwaizumi made a beeline for the buzz of the weapons. He felt them moving slowly through the forest and he tsked.

"Wrong way, dumbass," Iwaizumi mumbled to himself.

The raven moved easily through the forest, quickly able to pick up Oikawa's trail. He began following it on autopilot, everything else became a blur.

Something caught the corner of his eye and Iwaizumi stopped, turning to look more carefully.

Were there more people out here?

Iwaizumi's first thought was that Hanamaki and Matsukawa had finally caught up with them, but the longer he looked, the more certain he became that it wasn't the terrible duo.

For one thing, they came in at the wrong direction. And for another, the tracks didn't indicate horses. It looked like two people, three max, traveling at a slow pace.

Iwaizumi backtracked a little to see the place where they had met up with Oikawa. From the way the two trails interacted, the raven could tell the strangers weren't following Oikawa for too long, if at all. It was possible they simply crossed paths at the right time.

The raven chewed his lip. The fact that the signs pointed to a peaceful interaction should have comforted Iwaizumi. Instead it planted small seeds of doubt in his mind because Iwaizumi could only think of one type of person who would be wandering around out here, leaving trails a blind eight year old could follow.

The people who found Oikawa were likely from Aoba Johsai and the only place close enough for them to come from was the military camp beside town.

Iwaizumi reached up and brushed a thumb across his daggers to reassure himself. He remembered to secure the strap across his chest at the last second.

What were their scouts doing so close to town? They weren't supposed to come this close. What changed?

As Iwaizumi followed the trail, he could only think of one major thing that might cause the camp to change their routine.

Oikawa.

The raven clenched his jaw as he moved silently through the fallen leaves.

The scouts from that camp tended to shoot first, ask questions later, so Iwaizumi had to ask himself, did they recognize their prince? Or was this somehow pre-planned?

Iwaizumi cursed to himself. If this _was_ planned, it was a fucking perfect one. Oikawa and Iwaizumi had managed to get separated at the most opportune time. With the raven unconscious, Oikawa could have picked any of the towns, but he chose this one. The one with the only Elemental weapons not assigned to anyone.

Not only did Oikawa pick the perfect fucking town. He managed to sweet-talk the perfect fucking person. The person who was actually responsible for the weapons.

Iwaizumi resisted the urge to curse out loud again because he could hear a small group of people just ahead of him. Keeping to the shadows, Iwaizumi watched as two guards with Aoba Johsai colors talked with Oikawa.

The group appeared relaxed and Iwaizumi could see the weapons still in their cloth slung across the brunette's back.

Well, at least he found the weapons.

Iwaizumi was too far away to pick up on individual words, but he could faintly hear the tone. A tone that was non-confrontational, almost friendly.

Too soon, the group pushed through the trees and into a clearing.

 _That's not right_ , Iwaizumi thought, the camp should have been miles out, but here it was, in this man-made clearing, looking for all the world like a cancer infesting the forest.

Was this what Keicho had been talking about? This was definitely closer than ever before. Iwaizumi could see why the man was nervous.

While Iwaizumi was inspecting the camp, he thought he saw Oikawa pause at the sight of the buildings and guards, but when the raven blinked, the hesitation was gone, replaced by a detached kind of look. One used commonly by royals when they knew they owned everything in sight and had no need to look too close at all their possessions.

Iwaizumi hated that look.

The guards led Oikawa deeper into the camp and Iwaizumi lost sight of him, if he wanted to keep following Oikawa, he wouldn't be able to use the front gate.

The outer edge of the camp was spaced out, not a lot of room to hide, but Iwaizumi managed to slip behind the patrols and find his way to the inner part of the camp where the makeshift buildings had more blind spots. It took him a while, but eventually, Iwaizumi found himself under an open window of the largest building, dead center of the camp.

Surely this is where they would take the visiting prince.

With boxes and barrels to either side of him, Iwaizumi was pretty well hidden. He just hoped this window didn't lead to a useless room.

His worries were assuaged when there was the sound of a door opening and a familiar, revolting voice drifted through the cracked window.

"-latively docile, compared to the ones that attacked at Morena. My men barely escaped there with their lives."

Iwaizumi clenched the handles of his daggers and tried not to gasp for air at the sound of the voice.

What was _he_ doing here?

Iwaizumi remembered Keicho telling him it looked like someone important arrived a few days ago. The same day Oikawa had brought him here, unconscious.

The raven suddenly felt sick to his stomach.

"I remember, Kageyama," Oikawa replied coolly.

Iwaizumi was torn between wanting Oikawa to get away from that man and wanting to hear more. In the end, his indecisiveness turned out to be a choice as well.

"Then you know why we need to move on this town. It sits almost directly over the river. If we gained a river port, we could resupply faster than ever," Kageyama pointed out.

Oikawa hummed and there was the sound of shuffling papers.

In the silence, Iwaizumi wanted to yell at the prince. Ask him if he was seriously considering this.

Iwaizumi had gone into Aoba Johsai, convinced everyone there was guilty for the sins of assaulting his people. It was their military, sanctioned by their king. Of course they were guilty.

Then Oikawa had shown up at his jail cell, declaring himself the heir of the kingdom and asking him questions with such open and honest fascination it made Iwaizumi doubt.

Those doubts only grew stronger the more he spoke with Oikawa. But it wasn't just the prince.

Hanamaki could be a jerk, but it was a far cry from anything malicious. Yahaba was young, trying hard to prove himself. Kunimi was- well, Kunimi was honestly too lazy to put the effort into hating anything. None of them had any idea what their country was doing and Iwaizumi knew it.

But as the silence grew longer, Iwaizumi grew increasingly nervous.

 _Tell him to fuck off_ , Iwaizumi thought, fingers tightening on his weapons, _don't do this, don't play games with him, just tell him to shove it and get out._

Obviously, Oikawa couldn't hear him.

"Have you heard from my father recently?" Oikawa asked.

To anyone else it would have sounded like a son asking about his father after a month with no contact.

To Iwaizumi, it sounded barbed with contempt.

"The last words I heard were his orders to come here and I found no letters upon my arrival," there was a small pause, "Do you wish for me to send your greetings?"

"Oh no," Oikawa said, "I sent him a letter just a few minutes ago. I'm only confused as to why he sent you here. It seems very unlike him," Iwaizumi heard the sound of a chair being pulled out and sat in.

"He values your opinions highly, it seems such a waste to send you so far away," Oikawa continued.

"He trusts me to see a duty through, that's all."

Oikawa hummed again, "Father had you leave behind your son as well? Tobio, wasn't it? Such a serious boy. Takes after his father well enough."

"He does indeed."

If Iwaizumi was expecting to hear something resembling emotion from the man, he would have been disappointed. It chilled him to think someone could talk about their son with such little warmth in their voice. It made Iwaizumi wonder how much affection the poor kid had been shown.

"How is little Tobio?" Oikawa asked, conversationally.

There was the sound of another chair being sat in.

"He's progressing very nicely. Years ahead in his studies. Quite intelligent. Genius, almost."

"Yes, of course," Iwaizumi could just hear the frown in his voice, "But how _is_ he?"

A small pause, "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, your highness."

Oikawa sighed, "Never mind, it's not that important, I guess."

An awkward silence descended, punctuated with more rustling of papers. Finally, Oikawa spoke up again.

"I don't see the point of taking this town away from these people. It doesn't make sense for me to show up in Center City talking about a truce when there are towns being controlled by us. It doesn't put us in a good light."

It wasn't the outright denial Iwaizumi wanted, but he'd take almost anything at this point.

"I don't pretend to know how the King thinks, your highness. I simply do as he asks."

"Father's not here, is he? I am," Iwaizumi heard the faintest hints of deep seated irritation settle in, "And I say to hold off."

"I apologize, but my orders come from a little higher on the food chain," it sounded like Kageyama was enjoying the back and forth.

"I won't condemn a whole town based solely on your word," Oikawa was one step away from shaking rage.

"It's not your place to condemn, _Prince_ Tooru. It has already been decided."

Iwaizumi heard the deep breath Oikawa took to steady his voice before responding.

"Are you telling me you're disobeying me?" Oikawa's voice went quiet, dangerous.

"Not at all, your highness. I'm following my king's orders."

The sound of crinkling paper reached Iwaizumi outside the open window and the raven knew Oikawa hadn't meant to crush the paper like that.

"You have new orders," Oikawa gritted out, "Stand down, Kageyama."

Kageyama chuckled and Iwaizumi felt his heart lurch in his chest. It was the same laugh he'd heard when he was twelve and had a knife to his throat. It was not a kind laugh. It was the laugh cruel people used when they knew they had won. A laugh filled with all the gentleness of crushed glass.

"You seem awfully testy today, your highness," Kageyama mused aloud, somehow unfazed by his prince's irritation, "Has something happened to the companions you were traveling with?"

 _Don't rise to the bait, Shittykawa_ , Iwaizumi thought, his fingers had long grown numb from squeezing the handles of his daggers for so long.

"I think you know damn well what happened to them," Oikawa glowered.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm interested to know why you would say that."

Oikawa paused and Iwaizumi silently begged him not to say it. Not to tell him what they talked about. Just don't say anything. How hard could it be?

"Iwaizumi told me what you did," Oikawa murmured.

The raven pressed his head into the wall in front of him and closed his eyes.

Gods damn it, Oikawa.

"He did, did he?" Kageyama hummed, sounding pleased with himself, as if he'd finally had his suspicions confirmed.

"You used him to get to my father," Oikawa spat, "You've always been a coward, but somehow I'm still shocked at the lengths you'll go to for your shameless power grab."

"I barely touched the man," Kageyama said, dismissively, "It's not my fault he has a low pain threshold."

Iwaizumi heard the sharp intake of breath from Oikawa.

"You disgust me," Oikawa hissed.

Kageyama chuckled, "I know the feeling, my _prince_."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Oikawa asked, angrily.

"Oh, nothing much," Kageyama sighed, "I've just never been a fan of your particular...proclivities."

"My proclivities?" Oikawa repeated, spitting the word out as if it were rotten.

Kageyama hummed, "I suppose your father never seemed to mind, but your _interests_ have been noted and frankly, some of us are a bit concerned."

Oikawa stayed quiet and somehow, the silence worried Iwaizumi more.

"You see," Kageyama continued, an amused tilt to his words as Iwaizumi heard the scrape of a chair being pushed back, "They don't know which part to be more worried about."

There was the sound of liquid being poured and Iwaizumi pursed his lips at the mental image of this man being so unconcerned with his attitude towards the prince that he felt the need to pour himself a drink.

"There's the issue of you being more interested in men than women, leading some to believe an heir for the future is unlikely," there was a pause as Kageyama took a drink before continuing.

"Though, I have to say, I personally couldn't care less who you like to sleep with. Myself and others are more concerned with the individual you seem to be currently infatuated with."

There was another pause, this one longer than the rest. Iwaizumi hated that there was nothing he could do right now for Oikawa. It was one thing to be settled and comfortable with who you are. It was another thing to deal with other's opinions of you.

It was easy to say other's opinions didn't matter, but if there was one thing in life Iwaizumi was sure of, it was how desperately Oikawa wanted the approval of his people.

It was evident in the way he talked to Hanamaki, Kunimi, and Yahaba. Each one he spoke to differently and while some might say that showed the prince's flighty nature, Iwaizumi saw it as more. He saw it as Oikawa understanding his people on a deeper level.

Oikawa understood different people needed various things in order to get through the day.

For Hanamaki, sometimes it was deep conversations with a snide comment or two. For Yahaba, it was stern, detailed instructions with highly specific praise. For Kunimi, it was sweet cajoling along with a steady push.

No one was the same and Oikawa knew that. He _cared_ enough to know that.

And Kageyama was taking advantage of the prince's heart-felt desire to connect with his people by making Oikawa feel like he had wronged them somehow.

"You see our concern, don't you?" Kageyama continued, showing little regard for the spiteful words he spewed, "Not only would you have this kingdom without an heir, but you wish to tie yourself with these people? Dragging us along with you, I might add."

Oikawa still hadn't said a word and Iwaizumi never thought the day would come when he actually wished for the brunette's flippant comments.

Kageyama sighed, "I wish we could've seen eye to eye on this whole Seijoh issue, I truly do. I take no joy in seeing a promising future cut short before its time," Iwaizumi heard a sharp thump of something piercing what sounded like wood, "You should thank Iwaizumi for this. He knew what would happen if he told you about me."

Iwaizumi needed to move _now_.

Flinging open the window with so much force spider cracks wormed their way through the glass, Iwaizumi pushed himself over the ledge to tumble into the room.

For a brief, wonderful moment, Iwaizumi saw the purest form of surprise on Kageyama's emotionless face. Unfortunately for Iwaizumi, he couldn't enjoy it for long. Not with how tightly the man was gripping Oikawa's hair, forcing the brunette's head back so far, he was unable to see Iwaizumi's dramatic entrance.

Iwaizumi quickly took in the mid-sized room, neat and orderly with an oak table in the center, covered by documents and maps. By Oikawa's elbow, sitting on the table, Iwaizumi saw the weapons, thankfully still enclosed in their cloth.

Kageyama recovered quickly and smirked across the oak table at Iwaizumi.

"Not a step closer, lover boy," Kageyama pried the knife from the table and laid it against Oikawa's exposed throat, "My hand's feeling a little unsteady."

Oikawa jerked to look, only catching a small glimpse of a familiar silhouette before his head was shoved back again, pulling his neck over the back of the chair he was sitting in. The prince's hands gripped Kageyama's wrists, no trying to pull him off, just holding them to ground himself.

Iwaizumi stopped moving, hands on his still-sheathed daggers as he glared at Kageyama.

"Let him go," Iwaizumi growled.

"I don't think I'll do that," Kageyama chuckled, shaking his head.

"You're outnumbered," Iwaizumi pointed out, nervous with the man's extreme calm in the face of being caught, "We're in a camp surrounded by guards loyal to the crown you're threatening. You're not getting out of here alive if you don't put that knife down."

That fact should have given the man some pause, but Kageyama just grinned and raised his eyebrows at Iwaizumi.

"So go on then," Kageyama gestured to the closed door with his chin, "Yell for them. Get them in here. They won't see me. All they'll see is Seijoh's warrior, strapped with weapons in a room with the prince and a helpless noble. See what they'll do."

Iwaizumi hesitated and saw Oikawa straining to look at the raven, confusion on his face.

Kageyama grinned at the hesitation, "No? Well, why don't I get them in here?"

The man opened his mouth to shout for the guards, but Oikawa reached up awkwardly to grab at the arm that held him.

"No don't. Please," Oikawa begged quietly, afraid what would happen if the guards came in and saw Iwaizumi.

"Aw," Kageyama tsked, shoving Oikawa's head up to get a good look at Iwaizumi, "You don't actually think he needs you to protect him do you? Look at him."

The hand in Oikawa's hair shoved him forward, slamming his upper body against the side of the table, nearly knocking the breath from the prince's lungs.

"That man right there has been trained from birth to do nothing but kill people like us. And you want to help him," Kageyama's lip curled in disgust and he shook Oikawa's head by his hair, "What is wrong with you?"

Oikawa glared up at Kageyama, inching his hand closer to the weapons on the table. His fingers brushed the fabric.

"Stop!" Iwaizumi shouted desperately, drawing both men's attention, but he was only speaking to Oikawa, "Don't fucking touch those."

The brunette closed his eyes and clenched his hands on the table, but he stopped moving for the weapons.

Iwaizumi's relief was short lived when the door across the room burst open and two guards came stumbling into the room.

Kageyama was the first to react, releasing the prince's hair, but still keeping the knife discreetly attached to the pale throat. The man pointed towards Iwaizumi.

"Seize him! He's trying to kidnap the prince!" Kageyama shouted, beating Oikawa to the punch.

The guards turned their eyes and drawn swords to Iwaizumi who hesitated. He spared Oikawa a worried glance before drawing his daggers, shifting his weight to the balls of his feet and readying himself for a fight.

"Stop," Oikawa coughed, feeling cold fingers wrap themselves around his throat, beginning to cut off his air supply.

"Stop," the prince wheezed, even softer than before. He tried to take in a shuddering breath, but couldn't and he clawed at the hand around his throat.

Tears of panic and desperation filled Oikawa's eyes as his body convulsed, hopelessly trying to kick or shove off his assailant. The prince could do nothing but watch as Iwaizumi's fright-filled eyes slid to his own.

Oikawa's kicking had knocked a corner of the cloth loose around the weapons and the pearly sheen of the handles caught the prince's frantic eyes. Oikawa reached on instinct and felt his fingers curl around the warm handle of the short sword. The prince looked up one last time to see Iwaizumi dodging the deadly curve of the guards swords.

Green eyes locked with brown ones and Oikawa pulled the blade free from its sheath with all his might.

The last thing the prince saw before everything went black was two emerald pools, begging him to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slaps the cover for this non-existent book* This bad boy can fit so much trauma in it.
> 
> Guys I'm so sorry for the cliff hanger, but it already felt like this chapter was going on too long so I made an executive decision.
> 
> I spent most of the day just typing this out and didn't spend as much time as normal editing it so I'm going to probably post it and then edit it. Like a hooligan.
> 
> If anyone is a Tobio Kageyama stan I'm so sorry, but I can't stand the guy. I didn't want to make him the main antagonist, so I just redirected all my spitefulness into creating his dad's character. Don't hate me, I just have strong feelings about that guy for no damn reason. Like seriously, no damn reason. He's one of the main characters of the show and I can't stand him. I feel like that says something about me, but I'm too broke to find out what it is haha


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH NOOO!
> 
> Guys, I did it again. It's a cliff-hanger and god dammit I tried, I really fucking did. I barely even knew how to start this chapter when I posted the last one and now it's just as long as the other one.
> 
> I haven't even started typing it on my computer, but I can just FEEL that it's a hefty boy. It might be the one to finally break 11,000. What a time to be alive. 
> 
> But this one is just FILLED to the brim with information, so I kind of went a little overboard...
> 
> Also, god DAMN I made myself sad af with this one. How am I so sensitive AND dead on the inside at the same time?
> 
> It just don't make no sense.
> 
> And...this is the one where I added that non-con tag. It's nothing explicit so don't worry, I just don't want you to be surprised (sorry if anyone already read it and was caught off guard). It's not even really non-con, but it falls kind of in that realm, it just givens me the heebie-jeebies writing it, but thats not a very helpful tag, so here we are.

Everything was...hazy.

No, hazy wasn't the right word. Blurry? Shimmering?

Oikawa shook his head at himself.

Or did he?

Looking down, the prince didn't see his body the way he remembered it. There was some kind of glimmer to it. Like a mirage on an extremely hot day.

A blinding pain rocked his brain and Oikawa tried to cry out and clutch at his head, but nothing happened.

Why couldn't he move?

No, that wasn't right either. He could still look around this place.

Wherever this place was.

Was this the forest? When did he get outside? Wasn't he just inside?

Yes, Oikawa remembered he was inside speaking with Kageyama, arguing, and then...

Iwaizumi.

Oikawa's gaze searched his surroundings frantically, but he couldn't find the raven. Couldn't find anyone.

" _Hello_?" Oikawa cried out, nearly unable to get that one word out. His mouth didn't even move. How odd.

No one answered. Not that Oikawa really expected an answer.

That's when he felt his body move and Oikawa was suddenly falling.

Disoriented and vaguely nauseous, Oikawa landed on the ground and looked up to see his own body stand, facing something in the distance.

Oikawa discovered he could move now, but looking down, his body was practically nothing. Almost just an outline. And it felt odd too. Like his whole body was numb.

" _Hello_?" Oikawa tried again, speaking to...well, to himself.

Oikawa's body turned its head to look at him and the prince gasped lightly. Had his eyes always looked so cold? He didn't know he could look so hateful.

His body turned back around again, ignoring Oikawa and the prince was ashamed to admit that he felt relief at being ignored by that sinister stare.

The prince shook himself, setting his jaw, he scrambled to stand up and took a step towards himself. That was his body, damn it. He was getting it back.

Within arms distance, Oikawa reached out to grab his own arm. His fingers gripped his wrist and the prince yelped, pulling back and staring at his non-hand.

What the hell was that? It felt like burning ice. Something so cold it could burn. Was that even possible? And why was that the only thing he could feel?

Oikawa's body didn't even turn to acknowledge the prince, still staring at the thing in the distance, moving closer.

Oikawa squinted, trying to see through the haze of the forest. It looked like a person.

And then he heard his own voice. Or what sounded like his voice, but there was no way he ever sounded so vile and hateful.

"There's my Iwa-chan," his body chuckled malevolently, "Come to play with me like the good old days?"

Oikawa looked and sure enough, he recognized that stocky silhouette, stalking towards his body.

The prince looked back at himself and realized with horror that his hands gripped both the short sword and one of the small daggers Rinta had given him. His face was grinning in Iwaizumi's direction and Oikawa had a sinking feeling his body was spoiling for a fight with the raven.

Desperation seized him and Oikawa tried again to grab himself, but drew back with a cry as that icy burn singed his fingers.

" _What are you doing?!_ " Oikawa shouted at himself, moving into his line of sight and throwing out his hands, " _What the fuck's wrong with you?_ "

His body ignored him because just then Iwaizumi spoke up.

"You shouldn't have drawn those weapons, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi's voice made the prince look over his shoulder, but the raven wasn't looking at him. He was tilting his head and squinting at whatever was in his body.

The brunette's body grinned, "What's wrong? Scared I might actually beat you a something, Iwa-chan?"

His body drew out the nickname, making it twice as long and Iwaizumi frowned.

"You're not yourself right now," Iwaizumi mumbled, his grip on his weapons faltering as he looked at Oikawa.

Though the prince was relieved Iwaizumi could tell that thing wasn't him, Oikawa grew concerned with how exactly he was supposed to get his body back if he couldn't touch it.

"Oh," the prince's body tsked, "I'm more myself than I've ever been, sweet Iwa-chan."

Oikawa's body lunged forward, short sword aimed at Iwaizumi's stomach. The prince cried out, reaching for the raven, only to see him expertly divert the attack, sending his body off to the side and putting space between them again.

His body laughed, unkindly, "Good job, Iwa-chan! Is there anything you're not good at?"

Iwaizumi watched Oikawa's body carefully, not rising to the bait.

"I mean seriously," Oikawa's body chuckled, flipping the small dagger in his hand casually, "It's one thing to just be stronger, but you actually got some technique don't you?"

Iwaizumi pursed his lips, but remained silent.

Oikawa's eyes sparkled and he smirked, "I particularly enjoyed that one _technique_ you have for your tongue."

Iwaizumi clenched his jaw and his frown deepened, "Are you going to shut up any time soon?"

"Unlikely," Oikawa's body flicked his wrist and the small dagger went flying towards Iwaizumi.

The raven barely managed to dodge it before their sword and daggers clashed again. Oikawa's body grinned, tilting his head to the side so he could see Iwaizumi over their weapons.

"But do you want to know my favorite part, Iwa-chan?"

"Stop calling me that," Iwaizumi gritted out, his arms starting to shake with the amount of strength Oikawa was putting behind his sword.

"My _favorite_ part," Oikawa sighed, ignoring Iwaizumi's demand, "is how good you were at convincing me you're not the same as every other savage out here."

Iwaizumi's arms faltered at the words and Oikawa's body pushed its advantage, smiling gleefully as his sword bit shallowly into Iwaizumi's shoulder.

The raven hissed at the cut and pushed Oikawa off to the side, kicking out at him to put more distance between them again.

" _Iwa_ ," the real Oikawa fretted off to the side. He was pacing. Had been pacing since the last time he tried grabbing onto his body.

Nothing worked. The prince had tried punching and hitting his body, but whoever was in there didn't even flinch and Oikawa had fallen back each time on fire and iced over all at once.

The prince growled in frustration, gripping at his hair, which he didn't even feel, making him even more disoriented and upset.

What the fuck was this? Rinta didn't mention astral-fucking-projecting.

But she did mention something about people losing themselves.

Oikawa stared at the continuing fight. He watched as the short sword opened another shallow cut on the top of Iwaizumi's thigh and the prince's face beamed with unbridled joy at the blood staining the raven's pants.

This was no part of him, Oikawa thought to himself. There was no sick, twisted part of him that could smile like that while he inflicted pain on people. Especially not on Iwaizumi. This wasn't something that came from the prince.

This was someone else entirely.

" _Who are you?!_ " Oikawa asked it, having to shout over the sounds of Iwaizumi's panting and the crash of metal.

His body spared a glance over at him and smiled.

Oikawa's stomach twisted.

" _Who are you?!_ " Oikawa yelled again, clenching his see-through fists against his equally glassy legs.

"Hey, Iwa-chan," Oikawa's body swiveled its head to look at the raven. He stopped his assault and allowed Iwaizumi to back up and watch him from a distance.

"Who do you think I am?" Oikawa's body asked.

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow in confusion, but answered steadily, "Someone who doesn't listen when I say 'Stop fucking calling me that.' That's who I think you are."

Oikawa's body giggled, smoothing his hair out with his free hand, "So, so mean, Iwa-chan. I've called you this since the day we met, you remember?"

"No," Iwaizumi lied, clenching his daggers and taking the time to test out the use of his leg.

"Someone's a liar," Oikawa's body sang, dangling the short sword in his hands out to the side as he smiled, "You don't remember showing me that clearing when we were kids?"

"Nope," Iwaizumi shrugged stiffly, done with this conversation and ready to get back to fighting.

Oikawa's body hummed, "How about when you made me that crown of flowers?"

Iwaizumi shifted on his feet, "I don't remember anything like that."

"You do, though," Oikawa's body laughed again, "Why are you trying so hard to pretend you don't? Is it because you don't think I'm me?"

"I know you're not Oikawa," Iwaizumi snapped, "You might look like him, sound like him, and have his memories, but you're not him."

"You sound so sure, Iwa-chan," Oikawa's body looked at the raven out of the corner of his eyes, "Maybe this is who I am when I finally learn everything you've been keeping from me."

Iwaizumi hesitated, pursing his lips, "You're not Oikawa," he said again, only this time it was softer, less sure.

Oikawa's body smiled and looked over at the real prince. He was standing off to the side watching the exchange with rapt attention, eyes flitting back and forth between the two.

The prince's body never took its eyes off him when he spoke to Iwaizumi, "You were never going to be with me in the first place, isn't that right, Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi took a stuttering breath as if his lungs had forgotten how to pull air in.

The raven shook his head in denial, but Oikawa's body kept going, tearing his gaze away from the crumbling prince.

"The last Warrior of the mighty Seijoh," Oikawa's hands lifted as if announcing a world renowned title.

"The very, very last one," Oikawa's body dropped his hands, mockingly.

"Stop it," Iwaizumi murmured softly, his daggers dipping.

"You're a rare creature indeed, aren't you, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa ignored the quiet plea, "So rare, in fact, that they actually developed those disgusting breeding programs a while back, just to make you."

"I said stop," Iwaizumi said again, still quiet, but louder this time.

"How old were you when they put you in that program, Iwa-chan? Were they nice enough to wait until you were eighteen, or were you still a child?"

Iwaizumi's gaze flitted around the forest as his breathing became ragged. His grip on his daggers tightened and the tips of the blades shook as his hands trembled.

"Stop," Iwaizumi rasped out.

"You know the best part, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa's body was smiling hard, on the verge of laughing, "Everything we had means _nothing_ because little old me has no uterus to pump a baby into."

"Shut! The fuck! Up!" Iwaizumi shouted, punctuating each word with a swing from his daggers.

Oikawa's body only laughed and danced away from the wild swings.

"Ooo, is that a nerve I struck, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa's body taunted, "I don't see why you're the one getting so upset. I'm the one just finding out I was nothing more than an interesting way to pass the time."

The real Oikawa felt numb. Before, when he was forcibly removed from his body, he noticed the lack of feeling, but this was different.

When he couldn't feel the ground under him, Iwaizumi's firm stance reminded him it was there. Without the feeling of breath in his lungs, the raven's steady voice told him there was nothing to be scared of.

And now, Oikawa felt like he was losing his grip on everything. He was slipping into nothing because the one person who had grounded him here, had caused the rug to be pulled out from under him.

The prince knew Iwaizumi didn't like talking about important things. He'd known that for as long as he'd known the raven. But it was still a shock to discover the depth of the things he had been keeping to himself.

Was it Oikawa's fault Iwaizumi didn't tell him? The prince had always talked about the most minor inconveniences. How sometimes his hair became unruly with the humidity. How the other kids made fun of him when he couldn't say the word 'rural'. Stupid things that held no real weight.

Everything the prince had ever been was always right there in the open. Of course, he'd hid his title, but who his family was had nothing to do with who Oikawa was as a person and he had never hid that from Iwaizumi. He'd never been anyone but himself, good or bad, it was always out there.

The prince collapsed to his knees, pushing his fingers into the dirt below him and gasped out at the feeling of nothing.

A nervous sob shook Oikawa's chest as he began tearing up the blades of grass around him.

Was he going to be stuck like this forever? A numb ghost with no one to hear him but the hateful thing inside his body? Could he do nothing but watch as the thing inside him continued berating Iwaizumi with only his words?

"I'll bet you have a few kids already huh, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa's voice rang out harshly in the forest, "Any of them inherit daddy's great warrior power?"

"Gods, just stop fucking talking!" Iwaizumi yelled, knuckles white on the handles of his daggers.

"I'm not hearing a 'no'," Oikawa's body sang out, sending a meaningful glance to the disembodied prince.

 _Did I always look so spiteful?_ Oikawa asked himself.

"Because I'm not entertaining this shit from you," Iwaizumi snapped.

Oikawa wanted to talk to him. He wanted to be the one to ask Iwaizumi about all this. Something like this wasn't meant to be some spiteful show. It tore the prince apart to see such terrible anguish in those green eyes.

"Aw come on, Iwa-chan," Oikawa's body put his empty hand on his hip and pouted lightly at the raven, "You won't talk to me seriously, you won't fight me seriously. What's this all about, huh?"

Iwaizumi glared at Oikawa's body as he turned his back on the raven.

"Do you think you're just waiting for me to suddenly come back to my senses? You think by the end of the night we'll be laughing about all this over a pint or two?" Oikawa's body half turned, watching Iwaizumi out of the corner of his eye.

"I'm not coming back Iwa-chan," Oikawa's body murmured, "because I'm right here. I never left."

The real Oikawa could do nothing but watch the seeds of doubt begin to take hold of Iwaizumi's deep evergreen eyes. The points of his daggers dipped just the slightest bit and Iwaizumi shuffled his feet with the first signs of insecurity.

"I'm right here," Oikawa's body repeated, fully facing the raven. He pulled out the other small dagger from the set and flipped it expertly with one hand while holding his short sword out to the side, ready to swing.

"I know everything," Oikawa's body continued, "and you, along with all your people, disgust me. I can't believe I ever saw anything in any of you."

Oikawa watched, horrified as his own face peeled back in revulsion. His body continued to carefully stalk towards Iwaizumi, who had yet to move from his spot, looking at Oikawa's body with wide eyes.

"You want to know why I was so ready to believe you were imaginary when I was little?" Oikawa's body said softly, raising the small dagger and pointing it straight at Iwaizumi's chest.

"Because you meant so very little to me, I didn't even care enough to think you could be real."

Iwaizumi closed his eyes and the real Oikawa shouted, begged, pleaded, tried anything to get him to open his eyes.

" _It's not me! You know I wouldn't say that! Look at him! Iwa please, it's not me!_ "

His begging went unanswered and Oikawa's body sent the prince a bone chilling smile before sinking the very tip of the blade into the skin on Iwaizumi's chest with such tranquility, it looked like he was achieving a life-long goal.

" _Hajime!_ " Oikawa shouted, gripping at his head and feeling a sharp, stabbing pain right behind his eyes.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa's body faded away, melting into the forest. A forest that had somehow became much darker than before.

Oikawa picked his head up, sobbing in frustration as he looked around.

" _Bring him back!_ " Oikawa demanded of the empty forest.

" _My son._ "

Oikawa jerked his head around and from the tree line, he could see a familiar build. Much like his own. Tall, lean, and strong.

" _Father?_ " Oikawa whispered, getting shakily to his feet.

" _Hi, Tooru,_ " his father's kind, oak colored eyes smiled warmly at him and Oikawa wanted to collapse again.

" _You-, wh-, how are you here?_ " Oikawa stuttered, reaching out to his father.

The King graciously accepted the embrace of his son and shrugged at the question, looking around the trees intensely, " _I thought it sounded like you needed help._ "

Oikawa was clinging desperately to his father, distracted by the feeling of something real. His father's warm soothed him and his hand at his back steadied him.

" _Are you ok?_ " Oikawa asked, holding his father out at arm's length for inspection, " _Iwa said Kageyama tried to hurt you just before we left._ "

His father smiled at his son and reached up to pat his head.

" _You shouldn't be worrying about an old man like me, Tooru. Whether I'm ok or not doesn't change things here. If I'm alive, all your worrying is for nothing and if I'm not,_ " his father shrugged again, " _then you worrying won't change a damn thing._ "

" _How can-,_ " Oikawa sniffled and wiped his face quickly, unwilling to let his father go for too long, " _How can you say that? Of course I'm worried._ "

His father chuckled good naturedly, " _Yeah, I figured you would ignore me and worry yourself to death anyways._ "

Several seconds passed and neither Oikawa said a word. They were content to simply stand in their silence.

" _So tell me what brought you here, Tooru. Why are you so upset?_ " His father's soothing voice broke the prince out of his thoughts.

Oikawa raised his eyebrows in surprise, but quickly furrowed them as he tried to think of a way to explain something he didn't think he truly understood in the first place.

" _Father, I think-,_ " Oikawa glanced around the forest. Familiar and foreign all at the same time.

" _I think I'm lost,_ " Oikawa whispered.

His father hummed as he glanced around the trees with the prince, " _Well, to be honest Tooru, I don't have a clue where we are either._ "

The older chuckled at that and the prince frowned at him.

" _I'm not just talking about being lost physically,_ " Oikawa pulled away from his father to hold his arms across his own chest.

The King mirrored the frown on his son's face.

" _What's troubling you, Tooru?_ " His father's words were kind and his tone was soft.

Oikawa's bottom lip trembled and he bit down on it to stop. He had only just realized how much he had been needing someone to be gentle with him. He needed someone to remind the prince of his own tenderness.

" _What do you do when the person you trusted most turns out to be keeping so many important things from you?_ " Oikawa chewed his bottom lips and brought his hands in front of him to play with his fingers.

His father hummed in thought, looking off in the distance and tilting his head.

" _Do the things they kept from you change who they are?_ "

Oikawa furrowed his brow at his father's question. He looked down as he scuffed his boots in the dirt.

It's not like knowing what he called Iwaizumi or knowing what the man had been through changed who he was. That infuriating streak of competiveness still ran though the raven and Tooru could still see the solid calmness he'd always had. But something still tickled the back of Oikawa's mind, nagging at him.

" _It's the fact he kept them from me at all that makes me concerned,_ " Oikawa mumbled into the ground.

" _He?_ " His father asked, looking over at Oikawa as he nodded. The prince still had his face tilted towards the ground.

" _I'm sorry, Father,_ " Oikawa whispered.

Despite the brunette's earlier tears, the prince found the ones he held back now to be incredibly hard. They hurt more, maybe because they meant more.

Oikawa wasn't even sure why he was crying or why he was sorry. His father had never been anything but kind to him. The prince couldn't help feeling he was letting his father down in some way by finding men attractive. Like he was letting his people down by not producing an heir.

It wasn't just what Kageyama told Oikawa earlier, though the harsh wording didn't help. No, this had been plaguing the prince for some time now, since his late teen years, possibly even earlier if he was being honest with himself.

He told himself it wasn't that big a deal, he found women attractive enough. An heir wouldn't be a problem...sometime in the future. It hadn't truly bothered the prince until Iwaizumi came back into his life. Headstrong and full of life, as evident by his emerald eyes.

Iwaizumi came back and Oikawa felt drawn in. As helpless as the planets in orbit around the sun.

" _Why are you sorry?_ " His father asked.

Oikawa shuffled his feet, wiping his face quickly, " _I didn't mean to have these feelings, they just happened and I'm so sorry._ "

His father stayed quiet and Oikawa continued talking, unable to stand the silence just as he was incapable of stopping his momentum.

" _I didn't even realize what was happening until it was too late,_ " Oikawa began picking at his fingers nervously, " _I know as the next in line, part of my duty to the kingdom is to ensure a successor._ "

The prince wiped a stray tear. How was he still crying? He had always planned on telling his father how he'd felt all along. It wasn't supposed to feel like this.

" _It might take more time, but I'm sure I could provide an heir eventually, so you don't have to worry about that._ "

" _Tooru stop,_ " His father's voice was too soft and Oikawa missed it as he continued his speech.

" _It's not too late, I can still be a good king for Aoba Johsai, I know I can,_ " Oikawa gave up on wiping his trickling tears and focused more on making sure his voice didn't tremble, " _I don't have to do anything about these feelings. If it's for my people, I could do it._ "

" _No Tooru, you won't,_ " the King's voice came out stern, finally interrupting his son's words, making the younger look up in surprise.

" _I would!_ " Oikawa exclaimed, afraid his father didn't believe him, " _I could find a wife and have an heir. If that's what this kingdom needs, I would do it!_ "

His father frowned and shook his head, " _No, you won't, because I'm telling you not to._ "

" _You're-, what?_ " Oikawa asked, blankly.

The elder Oikawa stepped forward, reaching out and clasping the prince's fidgeting hands in his own.

" _There are some sacrifices you make for your people, Tooru. This isn't one of them,_ " his father's voice was soft, but firm. It was a voice spoken with no doubts and years of experience to validate it.

Oikawa shook his head, ready to argue, but his father spoke over him, " _I don't care about the heir. You, of all people, should understand heirs aren't born into it. They're made. They work for it, they lose sleep over it, they take every bit of themselves and push until all that instinct is perfectly honed into a razor-sharp edge._ "

" _I can do more, though,_ " The prince tried again, stubbornly shaking his head, " _I can be better._ "

" _And what's better than being with the person who makes you happy?_ " the King challenged, " _You think any of us can do better than that?_ "

Oikawa looked away, pursing his lips. This wasn't how the prince saw this conversation going and he wasn't sure he wanted to keep pushing for something that didn't sit right with him in the first place.

" _Tooru, the only thing you could ever do to make me disappointed would be to deny yourself something like this, especially over something as trivial as the succession,_ " his father's face was set much like his son's got from time to time. Stubbornly and ruthlessly passionate.

" _But,_ " Oikawa couldn't stop himself from arguing, " _the bloodline..._ "

" _Forget about the bloodline for a second. Tooru, your child,_ " the elder reached up to squeeze his son's shoulders, " _The child you raise, whether it's your flesh and blood or not, will make an extraordinary heir. Not because they have your genes, but because they have you. Do you understand?_ "

Oikawa nodded slowly, focusing on the solid feeling of his father's hands.

" _So don't set this aside because you're worried about the bloodline. That's not a good enough reason,_ " his father chastised lightly.

" _You're not mad?_ " the prince asked quietly.

" _Oh, Tooru,_ " his father murmured, eyes softening as he looked at his son, " _No, of course not. Why would I ever be mad at you for finding someone that makes you happy?_ "

Oikawa closed his eyes and let another tears escape, falling down his cheek. It hadn't occurred to him until he asked just how much he needed to hear his father say that. Not just that he wasn't mad, but that he wanted his son to be happy.

They weren't necessarily a close, touchy feely family and maybe there was some small part of the prince that thought his father would let him push himself until he broke as some kind of atonement for the sin of being himself.

His father's words lifted a weight off Oikawa's shoulders he had convinced himself he didn't have.

" _I love you too,_ " Oikawa whispered.

His father smiled at him and asked, " _Feeling a little less lost, now?_ "

Oikawa rubbed at his eyes. Gods, when was the last time he had cried so much?

" _A little,_ " Oikawa admitted, looking around the forest again, " _but how do I get back?_ "

His father hummed, " _Sorry, son. I barely know how I got here._ "

" _I need to get back there, Iwa needs me,_ " Oikawa gently extricated himself from his father's grasp and began pacing through the trees, thinking.

The prince stopped, remembering what the thing in his body had called Iwaizumi. He said it like it was supposed to mean something to him.

" _Father?_ " The elder looked at him, humming in acknowledgement, " _Do you know anything about some kind of chosen warrior from Seijoh?_ "

His father nodded, pursing his lips, " _There were a few old texts about them, mostly legends now though, why do you ask?_ "

Oikawa shrugged, flexing his fingers, " _It's just something I heard. Can you tell me about them?_ "

His father blew out a breath, " _I don't know how much help I'll be, but I think the warriors go all the way back to the foundation of Seijoh. They used to choose their leaders based on the strength of their connection with the lesser deities. It was said the Warriors were the offspring of those deities and humans._ "

Oikawa had stopped moving about the forest and stared at his father.

" _Having ancestry like that, it's no wonder their children had remarkable abilities,_ " his father continued, looking around the trees, trying to see if he could tell where he was.

" _What kind of abilities?_ " Oikawa murmured.

" _The kind that allowed them to push past normal, human limits,_ " his father answered vaguely.

" _Like, how?_ " Oikawa urged.

His father sighed, " _Well, from what I could tell, there wasn't much they couldn't do. Incredible strength, lightening quick reflexes, even superior healing abilities. They named them the Warriors of Seijoh._ "

" _So what happened to them?_ " Oikawa asked. The thing in his body had said Iwaizumi was the last one. What happened to all the others?

" _You know anything about the Seven Elementals?_ " His father turned to him.

Oikawa nodded quickly, not wanting to waste time on something he already knew about.

" _Well, they tried to see if they could put the two together,_ " his father explained, shifting on his feet, " _They wanted people who could heal life threatening wounds in minutes, wield a devastating power, and be able to simply pass it on to the next generation with no need for the Elemental Weapons._ "

His father pursed his lips, looking beyond the tree line, " _They could have made a terrifying people._ "

" _And then?_ " Oikawa brought his father's attention back to him.

The King shook himself, " _Well, that's when the experiments began._ "

Oikawa's stomach flipped.

" _It was unsuccessful, as you can imagine. Even if a Warrior could withstand one of the elements, the people in charge forced them to take more. It left thousands of people either dead, or walking husks of human beings._ "

" _That's terrible,_ " Oikawa murmured, unable to imagine the kind of horrors these people endured at the hands of their own country.

" _It was a long time ago, Tooru,_ " his father scratched the back of his neck, " _So long ago, anyone who remembers anything about it has long since crumbled into dust. There's no Warriors left anymore to mourn._ "

" _I think there might be one left,_ " Oikawa whispered, thinking back to what his body had said to Iwaizumi.

His father looked at him, surprise and concern across his face, " _Well, then it sounds like we're all in trouble._ "

Oikawa furrowed his brow, " _What do you mean?_ "

" _Seijoh's Warriors went through specialized training, practically starting from birth,_ " his father looked at him sadly, " _They decided warriors didn't need their empathy and had it forcibly removed after the age of three._ "

" _Removed?_ " Oikawa frowned and shook his head in disbelief, " _You can't just take away someone's empathy._ "

" _Well, I don't know how they did it. That's just what all the texts say,_ " his father looked at him in exasperation, " _They say empathy was removed and they only left the bare minimum of emotions so as not to drive them completely insane._ "

" _But why would that mean we're in trouble?_ " Oikawa asked.

His father pursed his lips, " _The only way there was a survivor to those horrific trials, was if that person passed them. If that happened, they would have come out the other side in possession of earth shattering power and the ability to pass it on to generation after generation, eventually building up a supply of cold-hearted demi-gods._ "

Oikawa shook his head, but his father wasn't done.

" _With the way things have been between our two people for as long as I can remember, I am indeed worried for the future if the Warriors have returned._ "

The prince pressed a hand to his mouth, his head still shaking.

If that's what Iwaizumi was, then how had Oikawa missed having a demi-god in his presence?

Enhanced healing abilities? Iwaizumi's arm was in a sling for a week after he dislocated it and even afterwards, the prince could tell he used that arm less than he used to.

Incredible strength? Sure, Iwaizumi had always been stronger than the brunette, but winning a few arm wrestling competitions was a far cry from inhuman abilities.

They removed their empathy when they turned three? That was before Oikawa even knew Iwaizumi so it was hard to be sure if he was different, but the raven had never struck Oikawa as unfeeling.

Sure, his feelings were a little hard to get to, but to say he had no empathy just didn't sit right with the prince. He vividly remembered having a crown of flowers in his hair as Iwaizumi mumbled.

"If you wanted me to carry you, all you had to do was ask."

Like it should have been obvious to Oikawa how much Iwaizumi would do for his friend.

That wasn't someone who had their emotions cut out. That was a little boy who felt bad about hurting his friend. A little boy, unsure how to put his apology into words.

And yet, Iwaizumi had reacted so viscerally to the title.

Rinta had told him Iwaizumi was different. Was this what she meant?

" _Tooru, will you be okay going back there?_ " His father's worried gaze pierced through the prince's thoughts.

Oikawa nodded, setting his jaw in determination and standing straighter, " _Iwaizumi's not like that at all. He's not some mindless cog in a machine._ "

" _Iwaizumi, huh?_ " His father's warm brown eyes twinkled with amusement, " _So I finally get to know the real name of the man who makes my son this courageous?_ "

Oikawa flushed at the words, " _No need to be so sentimental, Father._ "

The King chuckled, smiling fondly at his son, " _Have I ever told you the words your mother said to me the day before our wedding?_ "

The prince shook his head, eager to know anything about his mother who had passed away before Oikawa truly got a chance to know her as a person. His father rarely spoke of the only woman he had ever chosen to be his queen, but every time he did, it left such a warm, feather-light feeling behind for both of them.

" _She told me,_ " his father laughed lightly, remembering something so distant it finally out weighed the sadness of his loss, " _Being deeply loved by someone give you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage._ "

Oikawa smiled, he loved his mother's way with words.

" _And I couldn't be happier to see that my son has been given both courage and strength,_ " the King murmured, looking intensely at the prince.

Oikawa rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, " _I don't know about that, Father._ "

" _Well, when you do know, I'm sure it will come as no surprise,_ " the elder chuckled, good-naturedly.

Oikawa went about his pacing of the forest, his eyes wandering, looking for an excuse to change the subject.

It's not like the prince hadn't thought about his feelings for Iwaizumi. In fact, he was sure that out of the two of them, the brunette was the only one to admit that there even _were_ feelings.

But love?

Oikawa twisted his fingers. Did he really want to love someone who could leave him so easily and for so long? Did he really want to love someone who kept everything about himself walled up behind thick, iron gates?

As if Oikawa had a choice.

" _Is it possible to love someone and not truly know them?_ " Oikawa wondered aloud, more to himself than anything.

" _I don't think love cares if you know the person or not,_ " his father hummed, looking around the forest with his son, " _I don't think it has any kind of criteria like that._ "

Oikawa glanced at the King from the corner of his eye, " _So what kind of criteria do you think it has?_ "

His father shrugged lightly, sighing, " _I don't know, Tooru. It's not an exact science. Millions of people have felt it and yet not one of them can agree was it is. Love's not something we were meant to understand. It's something we're meant to find in others._ "

Oikawa frowned down at a particularly dense bush. This didn't help him at all.

The prince almost turned away, but something caught the corner of his eye. Something shiny in such a gloomy place stuck out indeed.

Bending down to get a better look, Oikawa found one of the elemental daggers laying discarded under the foliage of the bush.

" _You find something?_ "

Oikawa jumped at the sound of his father's voice right next to his ear. He gave an embarrassed chuckle.

" _Uh yeah, I think so. I think that's one of the reasons I'm here. I grabbed the sword from the set and I think I passed out for a few minutes,_ " Oikawa tilted his head to get a better look at the small dagger, " _I think it can get me back._ "

That made sense, right?

Oikawa sure as fuck hoped so.

" _A dagger?_ " His father seemed to voice his own skepticism back at him.

Oikawa nodded, more confident than he felt.

" _It's kind of a long story, but I really need to get back in my body before it hurts Iwa._ "

His father looked at him in confusion, " _Well if you're here, then who's in your body?_ "

" _I don't know,_ " Oikawa furrowed his brow.

The mannerisms disturbed him because they truly did look like his at times. He also had knowledge of things only he and Iwaizumi should know. Nothing about the thing in his body sat right with Oikawa and it worried him.

" _Well go on then,_ " his father bumped shoulders with him, making the younger look at him, " _go back and help your man._ "

" _Father, please don't ever call him that again. It's just embarrassing,_ " Oikawa mumbled, blushing.

His father chuckled, but at the look on the prince's face he sobered up.

" _What's keeping you, son?_ "

" _What if I don't get to see you again?_ " Oikawa whispered, staring at the weapon that had somehow become his salvation and his damnation all in one.

" _How do I even say goodbye?_ "

The King looked up at the colorful leaves, shaking with the wind, " _You never did like saying goodbye, did you?_ "

The prince looked over at his father, trying to tell him to take this seriously.

His father smiled back, " _Even if we had all the time in the world, there still wouldn't be enough to tell you everything I think you deserve to know,_ " the elder clapped Oikawa on his shoulder.

" _Like, how I couldn't have asked for a better son. Or how proud I am of everything you're doing and the man you turned out to be._ "

Oikawa felt his eyes prick with tears again and stubbornly held them back. If this was going to be the last time he saw his father's face, it would not be a memory marred by tears.

" _You're a wonderful person, Tooru. I'm only sorry I wasn't as strong as you were. You're out here, blazing a new path our ancestors never even dreamed of, and you've done it all alone._ "

" _I'm not alone,_ " Oikawa whispered, wiping his nose quickly.

He wasn't just thinking about Iwaizumi. It wasn't anyone else but Hanamaki who stayed up later and later with him going over documents, working out speeches and contracts. No one had ever made him think on his feet quite like Kunimi. Yahaba had always looked up to him and Oikawa found himself rising to meet the man's expectations.

No, he wasn't alone at all.

His father beamed at him, " _I'm so glad you found someone to keep up with you. You're quite lucky to have found this Iwaizumi._ "

Oikawa laughed at that and sniffed lightly, " _He's actually the one who found me._ "

Returning his laugh, the elder squeezed the prince's shoulder, " _And don't forget he's equally as lucky to have you, ok? Don't lose sight of people's worth, especially your own. Can you do that for me, Tooru?_ "

The younger nodded.

" _Good,_ " his father pushed him lightly towards the discarded dagger, " _Now go Tooru, go back out there and be everything you were meant to be._ "

Oikawa's fingers brushed against the opalescent handles before he had a chance to process the words his father said and when he did, a burning pain began behind the prince's eyes, making him screw them shut. But he never let go of that dagger.

The burning subsided and Oikawa was left crouching on all fours, panting into the grass and fallen leaves. Looking up, the sight of Iwaizumi, bloody and laid out was enough to make the prince forget how to breathe.

His body sat on top of the raven who was panting and holding his side. When he pulled his hand from his side, it came away shining and wet with crimson blood. Iwaizumi's face was pinched in distress and pain and his own body had just sat back up from viciously muttering something.

The prince whimpered slightly at the look on Iwaizumi's face and that's when the thing in his body turned to lock eyes with him.

Oikawa could see his own fingers curled around one of Iwaizumi's daggers, sitting directly on top of Iwaizumi's heaving chest, just over his heart. It was his own, lean frame that hunched over the raven, preparing to drive the weapon deep into flesh and bone. It was his own face that smiled back at him, lips whispering one last thing to Iwaizumi.

******

**Iwaizumi's POV:**

"You want to know why I was so ready to believe you were imaginary when I was little?" Oikawa's body raised the small dagger, pointing it straight at Iwaizumi's chest.

Everything was just the same as it was in Iwaizumi's nightmares.

The perfect, pink lips curled in disgust and mouthing all those hateful words Iwaizumi never thought he'd hear Oikawa say.

The cold, unfeeling brown eyes, glaring at him as if he was worse than the mud on the bottom of the prince's boots.

Iwaizumi was always asking for this. Maybe there was a time when he could have told Oikawa everything about him. In his cowardice and selfishness, the raven had let the moment pass by.

All that emotional tax he'd accumulated since then was finally coming due and Iwaizumi wasn't sure he had enough left to give.

"Because you meant so very little to me, I didn't even care enough to think you could be real."

The raven closed his eyes. If he had to look at Oikawa's face twisted in that vile glee for one more second, he was afraid he'd vomit.

The tip of the dagger split the skin on Iwaizumi's chest and for the smallest second, he thought he heard his name being called.

Iwaizumi knew that voice.

Iwaizumi's eyes burst open and he kicked the brunette in front of him square in the stomach. Oikawa clearly wasn't prepared for that and doubled over, trying to choke back the air that escaped his lungs.

Iwaizumi scrambled to put distance between himself and the prince, trying to figure out what he was going to do about this.

The cuts littered across his body gave a particularly harsh throb and the raven winced, running a hand over the fresh one just opened up on his chest. His hand came away with smudges of bright blood, but it wasn't too much. He could still fight.

Whether the thing in Oikawa's body was actually the prince or not was slowly becoming a moot point because Iwaizumi wasn't sure he could actually harm the other. Even if it wasn't Oikawa, it still had his face, his laugh, and his memories.

Was there a way Iwaizumi could get the real one back?

Iwaizumi deflected the short sword and continued stepping back, leading Oikawa in a wide circle through the woods.

No one had ever come back from wherever the Elemental weapons sent them. Iwaizumi had seen bodies whither away because their loved ones were unable to let them go for years until their own bodies gave up on them.

Then again, no one had ever touched them and became this...different.

Maybe there was a chance.

Iwaizumi's back hit a tree and he threw himself to the side at the last minute, hearing the sword bite into the bark behind him.

The raven was beginning to pant and Oikawa showed no signs of stopping. No signs of being quiet either.

"Come on, Iwa-chan. Show me what kind of Warrior you are. Show me Seijoh's Spear," Oikawa yanked the sword out of the bark of the tree and turned to face the raven again, "Show me the monster they created."

"Fuck you!" Iwaizumi yelled at him, wincing as he stumbled.

"I wish you fucking would, Iwa-chan," Oikawa tilted his head back in laughter, "What happened last night anyways? Got a case of whiskey dick?"

"Shut up," Iwaizumi muttered, "You don't even remember what happened."

"Are you sure about that?" Oikawa tilted his head, amusement glinting in his eyes, "I remember you being exceptionally sweet to me."

Iwaizumi ran a hand across the cut on his shoulder, making sure it was mostly dried blood now. Maybe if he stopped interacting with Oikawa, he would shut up.

"I also remember explicitly asking my sweet, handsome Iwa-chan to fuck me and you wimped out on me!" Oikawa stomped his foot on the grass like a child.

Iwaizumi's brow furrowed, "That's not what you said."

Oikawa groaned dramatically, "Ugh, fine Iwa-chan. So I said 'sleep with me' and you took it literally? What are we, eight? You knew what the fuck I wanted."

"You didn't want anything," Iwaizumi snapped, "You were drunk."

"I wasn't drunk in the forest," Oikawa grinned mischievously.

Iwaizumi hesitated, "No, you weren't," he admitted softly.

"So mean, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa teased, moving slowly towards Iwaizumi, "I just wanted to get laid and you're being such a prude."

"Shut up, Oikawa!" Iwaizumi shouted.

The prince stopped moving towards Iwaizumi and smiled, "So you finally believe I'm me?"

Iwaizumi jerked in surprise. He hadn't meant to call this thing by the brunette's name. Did some part of him think this was his Oikawa?

"Of course not," Iwaizumi spat, "I just have nothing else to call you."

The brunette chuckled, not believing Iwaizumi for a second.

"I don't see how you don't believe me. Just because I'm not blindly infatuated with you anymore doesn't mean I'm not me," Oikawa hummed, scratching the side of his head with the handle of his sword.

"What'll it take to convince you I'm the real thing?" Oikawa asked, voice serious for the first time.

"Nothing," Iwaizumi said, no hesitation.

"Nothing, Iwa-chan? Are you sure?" The prince cocked his head and took a small, curious step towards the raven.

Iwaizumi replicated the prince's step, only backwards. He didn't like the look in Oikawa's eye as the brunette watched him.

"Nothing," Iwaizumi repeated, firmly.

"Hmmm, I'm sure there's something I can do to show you the truth," a thin finger tapped the man's chin in thought.

"Why are you trying so hard to convince me you're him?" Iwaizumi asked.

It had been bothering the raven for a while now. He couldn't find the upside of convincing him. And antagonizing him on top of that? Iwaizumi didn't understand.

Since this Oikawa look-alike seemed to be in a conversational mood now, instead of his infuriatingly teasing one, Iwaizumi figured he'd try and ask it.

"Because you don't believe me, Iwa-chan," Oikawa pouted, "and that hurts my feelings."

Iwaizumi couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes. It was such a deeply ingrained habit, he thought nothing of it. Every time Oikawa's voice and face got like that, Iwaizumi reacted to it on an instinctual level and whatever was in Oikawa's body saw his automatic response.

Oikawa's face suppressed a small grin and sighed at the raven, "Look Iwa, I know I haven't been acting like myself and I'm sorry, but there's a lot of stuff happening to me right now and I don't think I'm feeling that good."

The prince pushed the back of his hand against his forehead, wiping away non-existent sweat, "You keep yelling at me and there's all these voices in my head, telling me different things."

Iwaizumi stared at the brunette. His voice was softer now, making it harder to keep telling himself it wasn't Oikawa.

When the prince looked at Iwaizumi, there were tears in his eyes and the raven lost his firm grip on his conviction.

"I just-," the prince sniffled, wiping his eyes quickly, like he didn't want Iwaizumi to see, "I just don't know who to trust. I want to trust you so bad Iwa, but you're not making it easy right now."

The raven shuffled his feet, pressing his lips together and furrowing his brow.

If this wasn't Oikawa, whoever it was at least knew the prince well, because Iwaizumi was beginning to doubt himself.

Last time he'd seen Oikawa get truly angry at him was when they were kids and he was a dramatic little brat then too. So, maybe all this was just Oikawa letting off some steam.

If it was, Iwaizumi couldn't blame the brunette for his hateful words, his cutting blade. He was sure he deserved worse.

Oikawa might have hid the fact that he was a prince from the raven, but Iwaizumi hid a whole life from Oikawa. After almost twenty years, they were finally at a point where the foundations of the bonds they formed were stripped bare. No more pretty lies to hide the warped frame of their friendship. No more half truths to keep out the cold blast of reality.

"How do I know it's really you?" Iwaizumi asked softly. He wasn't ready to lower his weapons, but maybe they could talk.

Oikawa's face brightened and Iwaizumi hated that he felt relief at the sight.

"Ask me something," Oikawa offered.

"Like what?"

"Anything," Oikawa leaned forward, eagerly, "Maybe there's something you always wanted to ask me."

Iwaizumi hesitated, because there was one thing he'd been wanting to know ever since he learned the brunette's heritage.

"You kept coming back to see me," Iwaizumi mumbled, looking at a tree just behind the prince, unable to maintain eye contact while he asked, "You could've had any friend you wanted, but you were always there, waiting for me in the forest."

"That's not a question, Iwa-chan," Oikawa said, playfully.

Gritting his teeth, Iwaizumi grumbled, "I want to know why. Why keep coming back to some snot nosed, borderline bully you met in the woods?"

Oikawa tilted his head and pursed his lips. He was quiet for so long, Iwaizumi almost opened his mouth to take it back when the prince smiled and huffed a laugh.

"You treated me like a real person, Iwa-chan. Everyone else either wanted something from me or they wanted it from my father. But you only ever asked for more of me," Oikawa grinned and Iwaizumi had to look away.

The raven wouldn't know which was worse, seeing the smile was fake and realizing Oikawa wasn't the one saying this or seeing the genuine joy in the real Oikawa's face and knowing he might have destroyed all that with his lies.

"And you kept coming back just for that?" Iwaizumi still couldn't look at Oikawa's face.

"Of course!" Oikawa took a step towards Iwaizumi and the raven let him get closer, "I know I never told you who I really was and you never did either, but we have a chance now. A real chance to be ourselves with no pretenses."

The brunette took another small step forwards and Iwaizumi pursed his lips, watching the prince's boots shuffle towards him.

One more step and he was within arm's reach.

Oikawa slowly reached back and sheathed the short sword across his back. He hesitantly reached for Iwaizumi's forearms.

"Do you think it's possible for us to start again?" Oikawa's voice fell quiet.

Gods, Iwaizumi wanted that more than anything in the world. If he had the chance to do it all again, Oikawa would have been the first person he told about everything.

The first time his mother sat him down and explained to her son that he had something special inside him.

The first time his father had explained how important it was that Iwaizumi share that special something with his people. To make more kids like him.

The first time he had curled himself under covers and cried because he was confused and overwhelmed with responsibility and expectations.

Iwaizumi wanted Tooru there every time.

He was told so often and by so many people how lucky he was to be so blessed by the gods that his time with Tooru became the only normalcy he had in his life.

Iwaizumi thinks he might have been about ten when he finally asked what exactly made him so special.

******

_"Grandma," a young Iwaizumi played with the blanket covering the back of his chair as he sat in his grandparent's living room._

_"Mmmm?" A much older woman hummed in response, her hair, well on its way to fading into gray, but her sharp, hazel eyes were just as quick as ever. They lifted off the pages of the book in her lap and caught her grandson playing with the corner of the blanket._

_"Can you tell me why people are always telling me I'm lucky?" Iwaizumi asked._

_His grandmother eyed the continuingly fidgeting fingers, "Haven't your parents explained everything to you?"_

_Iwaizumi frowned down at his lap, "They said I got something inside me, but I don't feel anything like what they say."_

_"What do you think you're supposed to feel?" His grandmother asked softly._

_"Strong," Iwaizumi pulled harder on the blanket, "Powerful. Like the heroes in your stories."_

_His grandmother closed the book on her lap slowly, "You don't feel any of that?"_

_Iwaizumi shook his head._

_The elder's eyebrows furrowed, concerned, "Well, what do you feel, Haji?"_

_Iwaizumi opened his mouth, about to say something, before realizing he hadn't a clue how to describe it. Scrunching his face in concentration, the small raven tried again._

_"I don't really feel anything a lot of the time, Grandma," the boy admitted softly._

_His grandmother's eyes saddened for a moment, "But not all the time, right?"_

_Iwaizumi nodded._

_"So what makes you feel something?" The elder's voice stayed soft, coaxing Iwaizumi to open up more._

_The raven's hand twitched on the blanket. Last spring, his father had made it clear that he didn't want Iwaizumi playing with the boy from Aoba Johsai anymore. Iwaizumi didn't want to get in trouble, but he didn't want to lie to his grandmother, either._

_"My friend makes me feel really annoyed sometimes," Iwaizumi mumbled, chewing his bottom lip._

_His grandmother quirked up an eyebrow, "Is that all you feel?"_

_Iwaizumi frowned, "Not all the time. Sometimes my friend's funny. He does stupid things that makes me laugh."_

_His grandmother smiled at that, "He's the only person to make you feel things?"_

_Iwaizumi shrugged, "I guess."_

_The elder hummed and leaned forward, setting her book on the table to the side of her chair._

_"You remember your lessons about the Warriors of Seijoh, right?" Iwaizumi nodded and she continued, "You remember why there hasn't been one in several hundred years?"_

_Iwaizumi nodded again, sitting straight and reciting from memory, "The warrior trait is extremely rare and the more human in your ancestry, the less likely you are to have it."_

_"Which means as the years go on, the chances of a Warrior coming get smaller and smaller, right?"_

_Iwaizumi had been told this many times already, but he nodded again anyways._

_"And that's why I'm so special," Iwaizumi said and even though he was only ten, he said it with all the bitterness he could muster._

_"But I still don't understand. What do Warriors do Grandma?" Iwaizumi asked quietly, fingers moving to pull the hem of his shirt._

_"Our country used to use them as weapons against a lot of people," his grandmother's face twisted as she shook her head, "I wish I could tell you they were like the heroes of the stories, but I can't, Haji."_

_Iwaizumi looked up, confused. If they weren't the heroes, then what were they?_

_"Our country broke those poor people," his grandmother continued softly, "They used them until they had nothing left to give but their lives."_

_The elder sighed, looking off to the side, "I wish things were different."_

_Iwaizumi looked down, confused, "Were they the bad guys?"_

_"Oh no, sweetie," his grandmother leaned forward to place a hand on Iwaizumi's knee, "No, they weren't bad, they were just in a bad situation."_

_"But they did bad things?" Iwaizumi whispered._

_His grandmother hesitated. It was cruel to let him continue thinking his ancestors were some perfect, wonderful people. But how was it any better to shatter that image with the truth?_

_At ten years old, the boy still saw the world as black and white. Shades of grey had yet to blur things for him. To him, his people were either good or bad, there was no in-between and the elder wasn't sure she was able to explain it._

_"No one's perfect, Haji," she said softly, "the Warriors did the best they could with what their people asked of them. It would have been too much for anyone, so they found a way to cut themselves off from their empathy. They needed to, for their own sake."_

_"Is that why I can't feel things?" Iwaizumi mumbled, looking up at his grandmother._

_The elder woman placed a hand on her grandson's head, "What about your friend? You said he makes you feel things."_

_Iwaizumi nodded, pinching his face, "He's really annoying."_

_His grandmother gave a light chuckle at that, "Well, if he irritates you so much, get a new friend."_

_Iwaizumi stiffened and his eyes went wide, "No!"_

_The elder pulled back in surprise at the outburst._

_Afraid he had upset his grandmother, Iwaizumi hurried to correct himself, "I mean, like I said, sometimes he's funny."_

_"We know plenty of funny people, Haji," his grandmother raised an eyebrow at him, "How about that Matsukawa boy? He always seems pleased about something."_

_"It's not the same," Iwaizumi mumbled, back to pulling on the bottom of his shirt._

_"Haji," his grandmother said softly, making the younger look at her, "Is he special to you?"_

_Iwaizumi furrowed his brow. His grandmother's tone had changed and the raven didn't know why. It made him feel like he needed to whisper too._

_"He's ok," Iwaizumi murmured, fingers tightening in his shirt._

_The elder's eyes tracked the movement and she lightly pinched the smaller boy's cheek, "Don't you dare try to get out of this by giving me half-assed answers, boy."_

_Iwaizumi scrunched his nose and pulled away from the assaulting fingers, "Ok, ok!"_

_"I like being around him. He doesn't ask me hard questions like the others and even when he's being a big baby, it's not always a bad feeling," the raven crossed his arms over his chest and turned his face stubbornly to the side, "He makes me laugh more than the others."_

_Iwaizumi glanced at his grandmother to see if that answer was sufficient and the face he saw worried the small boy. Her eyebrows were pulled together and her bottom lip was clenched tightly between her teeth._

_She stared at him like he was making her sad._

_"What's wrong, Grandma?" Iwaizumi asked, feeling his heartbeat pick up, "It's ok, right? This thing inside me doesn't make me hurt people does it?"_

_Oh no. What if his father told him not to play with Tooru because Iwaizumi was dangerous?_

_The raven dug his fingers deeper into his shirt._

_Iwaizumi complained all the time how annoying Tooru was. How Iwaizumi would always call him dumb names. Maybe his father was trying to protect Tooru from his son._

_Would Iwaizumi accidentally hurt his friend?_

_"Haji, hey," his grandmother cupped the boy's face and made him look at her, "Calm down. You're ok. Nothing's going to happen to your friend, I promise."_

_Iwaizumi frantically searched his grandmother's soft eyes. Finding no deceit in them, his fingers relaxed. But only just a little._

_"But why do you look so sad?" Iwaizumi asked quietly._

_His grandmother's face fell slack in surprise before she shook herself and tried to smile down at him, "I don't want you worrying about me right now, ok?"_

_Iwaizumi let her pet his head, still looking up at her face. She was still upset about something, Iwaizumi could tell, so he waited patiently for her to notice his interest._

_"I'll tell you more when you're older, ok?" The elder sighed at her grandson, eyes darting across the room, "Right now, just enjoy the time with your friend, ok?"_

_Iwaizumi pushed his bottom lip out in a pout, but nodded, giving his grandmother a sullen look, "I will, Grandma."_

******

If he had just told Tooru then what his grandmother had said about the Warriors, maybe they could have figured something out together. Maybe Iwaizumi didn't have to be alone all this time.

Iwaizumi blinked at Oikawa's face only a few inches from his own. Maybe this was his chance.

"I think I'd like that," Iwaizumi whispered.

Oikawa smiled at him and before Iwaizumi could register the emptiness of it, he felt a deep, burning pain cut into his side.

Iwaizumi stumbled back, gasping and looked down at the opalescent dagger handle sticking out of his side, just below his ribcage.

Confused, Iwaizumi looked back up at Oikawa who was now grinning in the worst way possible.

"Got ya," the brunette giggled.

Iwaizumi's knees gave out and the ground suddenly became a lot closer. The raven panted and fumbled with the foreign object stuck in his side. He vaguely registered the heavy thump of his daggers hitting the ground, but Iwaizumi could barely think through the pain.

"Oh boy, I wouldn't pull that out if I was you," Oikawa chirped up, prancing over and squatting in front of the raven, looking at him curiously.

"I don't-," Iwaizumi groaned as a wave of pain peaked and crashed into him, leaving him gasping, "I don't understand."

The raven panted, hunched over in the leaves, lost. Had he wished for forgiveness so hard that he actually didn't see this? Didn't he see the cruel glint still shining in those brown eyes? Did his desperation blind him this much?

"You should've gone with your first instinct, Iwaizumi."

The raven looked up, breathing heavily. That wasn't Oikawa's voice.

"You were right," the voice continued, "I was never Tooru."

"Who?" Iwaizumi gritted out, unable to say much else.

Oikawa's boy sighed and rolled his neck, stretching it out, "We've never met, you wouldn't know me."

Iwaizumi shook his head. This person knew way too much about the raven. Things he wouldn't have gotten from Oikawa's memories.

"I asked," Iwaizumi panted, "a question."

The brunette looked at him in amusement and chuckled, "I applaud the gumption, Iwaizumi."

The raven just glared at him. He could feel the steady trickle of blood running through his fingers and over his hip. If he removed the dagger, he'd be able to cover the wound and hopefully keep some of his blood in, but Iwaizumi needed to focus on finding out whoever this was. Another person showing up inside an Elemental host was unheard of.

The imposter sighed at the lack of a reaction and shrugged, "Don't know what good it'll do you, but my name's Oikawa Tenko."

"Oikawa?" Iwaizumi's eyes widened and he choked on the name.

"Mhmm," Tenko smiled and nodded, " _Apparently_ , Tooru here is some number of 'greats'-grandson of mine. Imagine my surprise when I come here to find one of my descendants buddy-buddy with a Warrior of Seijoh."

Iwaizumi was beginning to feel light-headed.

"Although," the man tilted Oikawa's head and stared at Iwaizumi curiously, "You're not like the Warriors I knew back in my day. How come you haven't healed your wounds yet? You defective or something?"

The man poked a finger against the cut on Iwaizumi's chest, making the shorter man hiss.

"How do you even know about me?" Iwaizumi squeezed his eyes shut and murmured, "I never told Tooru."

"I've been around," Tenko waved a hand vaguely, "You can call it the afterlife I guess, but it felt more like a really long dream I had no control over. And in these dreams, I saw the things your people did."

The man twisted Oikawa's face into contempt, "They nearly killed off their greatest weapons trying to make them godlike."

Iwaizumi blinked slowly up at the brunette.

"I saw you being born," the man pointed a finger at the raven, "and I saw them training you the same way they trained the Warriors. It wasn't that hard to put the pieces together."

"The place you came from," Iwaizumi gritted out, "is it the same place Tooru went?"

Tenko shrugged, not giving the question a lot of thought, "I don't see him anymore, so I got no clue where he went. All I know is I've been nothing more than a sentient dream for centuries until I saw Tooru pick up the sword and suddenly, I had a body."

The man sighed, running a hand through Oikawa's brown hair, murmuring, "A weirdly tall body with someone else inside."

Tenko sat in front of Iwaizumi, bending his knee to prop an elbow up and continue, "He was barely hanging on anyways, so I just gave him a little push," he lifted his hands to pantomime the action and pulled his lips into a frown.

"And I saw images of you," Tenko pointed to Iwaizumi who was having trouble following along.

"I touched Tooru's soul, or whatever, and I think I saw all his memories," Tenko cradled his head in his hands, "And there were so many of you, I just couldn't believe it. Some descendant of mine, traipsing around with a childish crush on a Seijoh Warrior."

Tenko shook his head, lip pulled back in disgust, "Unacceptable. I don't know how you did it, but you managed to gain that foolish boy's trust. What were you planning to do with him, huh?" Tenko glared at Iwaizumi, still holding onto his side, "Hold him hostage in Seijoh? Kill him and start an all out war like the good old days?"

Iwaizumi shook his head, numbly. He couldn't think past the searing pain in his side. His blood filtered through his fingers and down his side, turning his hands sticky and oddly warm in the chilly air.

Was he going to die?

The raven's breath stuttered. He had so much more to say. So much more to do. There were places he wanted to go. Things he wanted to see one last time.

Iwaizumi wanted to sit down to dinner with his friends and family one last time, wanted them all happy and together. He wanted them to meet Tooru and everyone else from Aoba Johsai. He wanted them to get to know the foreigners the way he had. He wanted to be there when his people realized the strangers were people like them.

Iwaizumi wanted to see his grandmother one last time, see her steady gaze set him back on firm ground again. He wanted to see the mountains again. See the way the snow fell so beautifully on the very tops of the peaks. He wanted to see Tooru's face when he took the prince to see the skylights. The dim, florescent brushstrokes across the sky would look breath-taking in Oikawa's eyes, he just knew it.

Iwaizumi wanted to say he was sorry. He'd start with his family and tell them he didn't mean to leave them like that, full of venom and spite. He'd tell them no matter what, he knew they always loved him. He would then tell his friends how Iwaizumi had never thanked them for always being with him. He'd thank them from the bottom of his heart for never letting the words he said in anger tear them apart.

Iwaizumi would end this all with Tooru. The one he wanted to talk to the most. The one who was always waiting for him, no matter how long Iwaizumi left, Tooru was still there as if telling him he always had somewhere to come home to.

"Sorry," wouldn't be enough for all the things he'd done to Tooru.

Iwaizumi would say it anyways.

He was sorry for not telling the prince everything he deserved to know. He was sorry his actions had led to Tooru seeking other ways to connect with Iwaizumi. He was sorry he didn't know how to bring the prince back. Iwaizumi was sorry he couldn't love the prince the way he deserved to be loved.

"Thank you," wouldn't be enough for all the things Tooru had done for him.

Iwaizumi would say it anyways.

He'd thank him for being bright enough to shine through the darkness of his life and be his beacon, showing him everything worth seeing. He'd thank him for every time he made Iwaizumi's name sound like the crackle of holy fire. He'd thank Tooru for letting Iwaizumi love someone who had always been too good for him.

A small tear leaked out of Iwaizumi's closed eyes and he heard Tenko hum softly. Looking up, Iwaizumi saw Tenko cocking his head to the side, appraising the raven thoughtfully.

"I never thought you guys could cry," Tenko murmured.

Iwaizumi didn't make a move to wipe the tear away. He simply let it fall down his cheek and run slowly down his neck.

The face in front of him changed from curious to outraged.

"You don't get to feel sorry for yourself after everything your people have done to mine," Tenko hissed, grabbing Iwaizumi's dropped dagger and pushing it against the raven's chest.

Iwaizumi groaned in pain and fell back, scrambling weakly to get away from the pointed blade. His hands tried to keep himself up, but his arms gave out and his upper body fell in the leaves.

The raven's breath hitched as the movement jostled the dagger in his side and he felt Oikawa's body move on top of him, pinning him to the ground.

Slowly, Iwaizumi looked up and saw Oikawa's angry face looking down at him.

"I won't have you be used against my people like before!" Tenko shouted down at him, clenching the dagger and bringing it to Iwaizumi's chest, just over his heart, "We lost thousands of people to your kind and I won't have you begin that cycle again. I'm ending it right now!"

Iwaizumi wanted to fight, he really did, but there wasn't anything left in him.

Maybe when he died, he would go to the place Oikawa had been sent. That wouldn't be so bad. They'd talk again, this time leaving nothing left unsaid. Tooru would eventually say something dumb, making Iwaizumi roll his eyes. Iwaizumi would like that, even if it only happened one more time.

"Not going to beg for your life?" Tenko taunted sadistically, "I'll bet you would look so pretty if you begged, Iwaizumi."

Iwaizumi grunted in pain, "Just fucking kill me already, you piece of shit."

Tenko laughed at the show of bravado and tilted his head down at the raven, "Now, now, Iwaizumi. Is that any way to speak to your cute little boy-toy?"

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow.

"Don't call him that," Iwaizumi groaned, pushing weakly at the body on top of him.

"Oh, don't pretend like you want to preserve his dignity," Tenko knocked the raven's hands off him and leaned down, brushing his lips against the shell of Iwaizumi's ear, "He was nothing more than something to fuck and you know it."

"Shut up," Iwaizumi hissed, tilting his head further into the ground, trying to get away from the revolting feeling of his breath on his ear.

Tenko pulled away smiling, "I bet you wish you'd fucked him in that forest when you had the chance, right?" Iwaizumi shook his head and Tenko chuckled darkly, "Nah, you're too chicken-shit for that, aren't you?"

Iwaizumi tried again to push against the body on top of him. It paused for a second and looked up at something in the forest, but Iwaizumi didn't hear anything. Tenko's smile widened at whatever it was he saw in the trees.

He looked back down at Iwaizumi and whispered, "I'm so glad I get the chance to end this nightmare for both of us."

Iwaizumi was helpless to stop him from lifting the dagger above his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God DAMMIT.
> 
> I really tried. I really did, but did you see how much stuff I pushed into this one? I barely wasted a single paragraph and I still ended up with 11,800 words.
> 
> There's a lot to dissect there, so if anyone is unclear about what exactly is going on, I'd be more than willing to explain. Hopefully I wrote it well enough, but I'm actually pretty sure I didn't haha.
> 
> I hate ending this here, I really, truly and honestly do.
> 
> Maybe next time I can get my timing right and not fuck shit up. Ugh. Whatever.
> 
> Now I'm sad. Sad boy Iwa and Oikawa gives me feels.
> 
> Oh yeah, the thing Oikawa's mom tells his dad I saw it on an episode of criminal minds (is it weird that show's kind of like my comfort show? Yeah probably)
> 
> "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." -Lao Tzu
> 
> I thought it was cute as fuck.
> 
> Also I'm not that in love with the way this chapter turned out, something about it just doesn't feel right, I can't explain it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sing song voice*
> 
> It's happening! It's happening!
> 
> This is the moment that started everything for me so many months ago (ok you got me, it was like 3 months ago) and once again I would like to remind all you girls, guys, and non-bies (non-bi's? non-bis? How do I write that?) please go look at santa.ana.winds (TikTok) santa.ana.windz (insta). I love the way she draws, the faces are so expressive and realistic and she tells such short, impactful stories with her videos. Hands down one of my top 5 creators. I can't sing her praises enough.
> 
> Anyway, we sure took a long ass time to get here, didn't we? This is sooo close to 100,000 words and I can't believe I made it this far with this story. I mean, anyone who knows me will tell you I literally do NOT shut the fuck up (can't stand the silence sometimes) but still, to see that there's 100,000 words dedicated solely to one thing just blows my mind.
> 
> And it's all thanks to you guys!! Seriously, I wouldn't have stuck with this so long if I wasn't getting constant positive feedback, call it commitment/self-confidence issues or whatever you want, but it just be like that sometimes haha.
> 
> It's all you guys, you're the real MVPs.

**Iwaizumi:**

Time didn't slow down for Iwaizumi like he thought it would. There was no signal to indicate this was the end, no angels singing, no flashes of his life, nothing. It was just like every other moment of every other day.

So when Tenko lifted the blade in his hand to bring it down into Iwaizumi's chest, the raven didn't flinch. He didn't shudder, he didn't fight, he didn't move. Iwaizumi only stared up as Tenko reached the apex of his swing and stopped.

Tenko held the blade, ready to swing down, but he sat frozen for a moment before looking down at his own chest and clutching at it with his free hand. His fingers digging deep into the fabric, scratching his chest as if trying to pry something off. Tenko gasped out before his eyes fell shut and he slumped off to the side.

Iwaizumi stared up into the slowly darkening sky, his chest heaving. Part of his body was still convinced he was going to die and he felt his heart hammering away in his chest, pumping the blood out faster over the dagger still in his side.

Gulping down air and trying to steady his pounding heart, Iwaizumi looked over to where Oikawa's body lay, on its side and crumpled up in the leaves. Iwaizumi groaned and pushed himself over, grabbing his dagger from where Tenko had dropped in on the ground beside him.

This was his chance. Iwaizumi had no idea what had happened, but he couldn't stand the thought of dying out here and leaving Tooru's body to such a hateful person, and he was sure Tooru would agree with him. Iwaizumi could do this one small kindness, even if it killed him.

Oikawa's body lay still and Iwaizumi dragged himself to hover, upside down over the brunette. Blade in hand, face to face with Oikawa, Iwaizumi laid a hand on the prince's shoulder and tilted him until he was flat on his back.

The brunette's eyes were closed and Iwaizumi was glad because he didn't think he'd be able to go through with this if he had to look at that rich, mocha color. Imposter in them or not, this face and those eyes meant too much to Iwaizumi for him to just ignore.

The raven sat there, hunched over Oikawa's body, just staring at it for a moment. Relaxed like this, Iwaizumi's brain was doing a terrible job of convincing him to end his friend's life.

There's no other way, Iwaizumi thought. His fingers betrayed him, cupping the side of the prince's face, his thumb brushing Oikawa's forehead, just above his eyebrow.

No one comes back from this.

Iwaizumi remembered the last person to be lost to the Elemental weapons. It was several years ago and the whole country had been shocked. Her name was Inoue Yutsuki and Iwaizumi still couldn't believe she wasn't the one.

Inoue was the strongest in her class, both mentally and physically, no one even came close. It shook everyone when she became non-responsive. She drew one of the axes for Dark and simply stood there. Iwaizumi remembers the looks on the faces of the Council. Disappointment and grief. He remembers standing in front of her and looking at the far off stare on her face.

Seeing the families were the worst part. No mother would believe her child is gone when their body stands right in front of her without a scratch on it. No father can grasp the concept of a world without his child. It's never the same grief and it never gets any easier to hear them calling their child's name, pleading with an empty husk. It breaks Iwaizumi's heart every time because he knows they won't come back. Whether they hear their parent's call or not, the child never comes back.

And Oikawa is no different. It doesn't matter that some loose soul managed to hijack his empty body. It doesn't matter that he's the most stubborn and hard-headed person Iwaizumi's ever known. None of that matters because everything the prince _was_ is no longer in there.

There's nothing there for Iwaizumi to hold onto anymore.

Iwaizumi allowed himself one moment. Just one single moment of grief. He let his chest cave in and his lungs burn with it. He let his eyes close and his lips press into the pale skin of the prince's forehead, lingering because he knew it was the last time and there were never enough times before.

Pulling back, Iwaizumi whispered, "Please forgive me, Tooru. I'm so sorry."

**Oikawa:**

Oikawa truly had no earthly idea how this all happened.

One second, he was watching his body lean over Iwaizumi to whisper something, and the next thing he knew, he was slamming the dagger in his hand into his body's chest.

Well, he would have.

Actually, he remembers vividly everything up until the part where the tip of the dagger pierced his chest. He remembers the panic that seized him when he saw his body lift the blade for the final plunge. He remembers closing the distance between them in the blink of an eye. Then, with no warning, no preamble, no nothing, he was inside his own body again. Only it seemed to be a lot heavier than he remembered and he couldn't keep himself up.

Oikawa could have cried with relief at all the sensations he had previously been robbed of.

He felt everything now.

There was the feeling of the dead leaves, crunching under him as he lay on his side.

The cold air nipped at his fingertips, curled loosely in front of him.

The steady warmth of a hand pressing into his shoulder and laying him on his back in the leaves.

Oikawa tried to open his eyes because he just knew it was Iwaizumi who had moved above him, but his eyes were so tired and heavy.

Then there was a soothing hand cupping his face and a soft, feather-light brush of lips against his forehead.

"Please forgive me, Tooru. I'm so sorry."

Oikawa's brow furrowed. Why was Iwaizumi's voice so soft and sad? Didn't he know the prince was back?

Oikawa tried to lift his hands, but his body felt like he had bricks laying on top of him. He managed to lift them less than an inch before they collapsed back to the ground.

Maybe now he could open his eyes.

Slowly, painfully slowly, Oikawa cracked his eyes open, his vision swimming with dancing waves of color.

The prince moved his mouth, he was sure he moved his mouth, but he didn't hear any words come out.

Why was everything so damn heavy?

"Iwa?" Oikawa croaked out, that one word barely above a whisper as he shut his eyes again. Even his eyelids were weighted.

There was a sharp intake of breath above him and he heard Iwaizumi growl, "Stop it."

Oikawa opened his bleary eyes again, but he couldn't seem to see anything through the dizzying array of colors. He was sure Iwaizumi sounded right there, though.

"Iwa, what's wrong?" Oikawa tried again to lift his hands, but he got nowhere, just like before.

"No, that's enough. I'm not falling for this again," Iwaizumi snapped back at him.

Through the shimmering colors, Oikawa could finally make out the raven's face and he almost wished he couldn't. It was the most devastating thing the prince had ever seen.

Why was Iwaizumi so consumed by grief?

"Hajime?"

At the uttering of the raven's name, the colors in the air shifted, flaring into a bright, pale green before deepening into a heavy, dark blue. Oikawa found it so beautiful.

"I said shut up!" Iwaizumi yelled, gripping the weapon hanging above the prince's neck even harder.

"Hajime, please," talking was coming easier to Oikawa now and his vision was becoming sharper. Though the colors stayed, swirling around Iwaizumi, clinging to him like his very own halo.

In all Oikawa's life, he had never seen anything so stunning. The colors swirled, melding together, separating only to come together again to make new colors. Some colors seemed permanent fixtures, like the dark blue ringing the outside, trapping in the rest, but most were ebbing and flowing like the tides, constantly changing, never the same pattern twice.

Oikawa became entranced by the display, forgetting for a moment that he had a dagger at his neck until Iwaizumi shifted and the prince caught the gleam of the sharpened steel.

"Wait," Oikawa whispered, "just wait Hajime, please."

"No, shut up! Why can you never just shut up?!" Iwaizumi shouted, releasing something from his chest that could have been a sob, "I'm tired of hearing you talk!"

"It's me Hajime, look at me," Oikawa opened his eyes wider for the raven, trying to maintain eye contact for him to see that the prince was really back, that this was him. He tried, but his eyes couldn't help drifting back to the multitude of colors cloaking Iwaizumi.

The prince couldn't keep from murmuring to himself, "Beautiful."

Iwaizumi shook his head, refusing to look any longer in Oikawa's eyes than he had to. His hands clenched harder on the handle as he shouted down at Oikawa, "I'll cut your throat! That'll shut you up!" The point of the blade trembled, moving closer to the exposed neck.

Oikawa lost himself in the tumultuous swirls. They painted a thousand pictures a second and each one was more heart-breaking than the last. Every other thought failed him until all he could think to whisper was, "You're beautiful."

Maybe the prince should have been scared with a weapon at his throat and a man screaming over him. Maybe if it was anyone else, he would be terrified.

But this was Iwaizumi. _His_ Iwaizumi. This was the person who refused to let Oikawa kill any creepy-crawly bugs when they were little, fiercely protecting them until they were out of the brunette's sight. This was the person who still saw the prince as someone who trips over his own feet sometimes, allowing him a safe space to mess up and be human.

This was the person who shaped Oikawa as much as he, in turn, shaped Iwaizumi. No matter what terrible things had taken chunks out of them over the years, they still managed to find the places untouched by time, where they fit together seamlessly.

No, Oikawa wasn't scared. He was mesmerized.

Iwaizumi's hands shook and the trembling of the blade increased. He was using the last of his energy just to keep himself from falling over. Iwaizumi didn't have enough strength or heart left to kill the thing in his childhood best friend.

Iwaizumi had thought he did. He was so fucking close, but then his eyes opened, showing the raven traces of the real Oikawa in there, soft and strong.

Traces weren't enough. He should have known better than to think Oikawa was coming back. He should have ended it before he had a chance to talk.

No one comes back from this. Once they were gone, they stayed gone and nothing anyone did could bring them home.

Iwaizumi's breath hitched looking down at the brunette.

But he looked so real.

Oikawa looked dazed and confused, but he looked like himself again. No sharp edge of cruelty shaping his face. His eyes were unfocused, flitting about the air surrounding Iwaizumi, but they had returned to their normal brown of soft, overturned earth. Not the frigid mud they were earlier.

And when the prince said his name like that...

It was enough to make the raven hesitate, but not enough to make him stop.

"It's over," Iwaizumi whispered, "Just please, don't make this harder than it has to be."

Oikawa's eyes closed for a few seconds and when they opened again, they had somehow grown even calmer than before.

"It's ok," Oikawa murmured, smiling sadly at Iwaizumi, "I think I remember telling you I could forgive my Iwa-chan for anything."

Iwaizumi's hands twitched in surprise.

"I might have been drunk, but I meant it," Oikawa said, eyes glued to the raven as his jaw clenched in determination, "If you truly think the thing that hurt you is still inside me, I would rather you kill me right now. Kill me, and know that not once have I ever judged you, nor have I ever hated you."

Oikawa's face soften as he murmured, "How could I hate you, Hajime? You're the best thing in my life."

Iwaizumi stared down at Oikawa, waiting for the moment that told him this wasn't the prince. He searched the brunette's eyes, searched his face, but there was nothing there except blind faith. That same blind faith Oikawa had always had when it came to Iwaizumi. Faith he would catch him, faith he would find him, faith he wouldn't hurt him.

Iwaizumi's knee slipped on the leaves and he groaned as he caught himself, sending fresh waves of pain through his stab wound.

That dagger really needed to be removed. Surely bleeding to death would be less painful than this.

The raven lowered his dagger slowly and tossed it in the leaves. Grimacing, Iwaizumi slid himself away from Oikawa, hands going to check his wound.

Oikawa moved his head laboriously to the side, following Iwaizumi and gasped at the large, dark red stain along the raven's side.

Just how long had he been bleeding out?

"Iwa, you're hurt," Oikawa mumbled, trying hard to make his body sit up and do what he wanted.

Iwaizumi shot an exasperated look at the brunette, "Yeah, I think I noticed that."

Gripping the fine, opal handle, Iwaizumi shut his eyes and steadied his breathing before yanking the blade out of his side with a harsh shout of pain.

Fresh blood started to pour from the open wound with nothing to stop it. Iwaizumi groaned as he put his hands awkwardly on it, trying to slow the bleeding.

Oikawa just barely managed to sit up, spurred onwards by Iwaizumi's quick breathing and pinched brow.

"Let me help," Oikawa offered, dragging himself beside Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi glanced at him, hesitating and Oikawa had never felt so lost.

It wasn't just that he had paused, Iwaizumi was now looking at him like the prince was one step away from hurting him. Like any second he would grab a discarded weapon and lunge for the raven. Exactly what had the thing in his body done to make Iwaizumi look at Oikawa like that?

"Please?" Oikawa asked softly, spreading his hands in the most placating way he could think of.

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow and pursed his lips, fingers tightening on his side. The blood was seeping through faster than ever now and Iwaizumi knew he didn't have a good angle on the wound.

One last glance at the prince and Iwaizumi jerked his head in a small nod.

Relief flooded Oikawa's limbs, making them easier to move as he crawled his way over to where Iwaizumi was leaning back on his elbow, watching him carefully. Dignified movements were still beyond the prince, but he could at least move slow and be sure he didn't make the raven nervous.

Looking at Iwaizumi for permission, Oikawa reached out and tentatively pushed the hem of Iwaizumi's shirt up. The raven moved his hands, allowing Oikawa to carefully move the fabric up and over the wound oozing blood.

Oikawa's thin fingers pressed into Iwaizumi's side, making the raven groan quietly and clench his hands into fists in the leaves.

"Sorry, Oikawa muttered, focusing on keeping the pressure on the wound. Two heartbeats later, he realized it was too much blood. His hands weren't going to be enough to stop it.

Taking his hands away for a moment, Oikawa fumbled with his shirt, ripping it and pressing the fabric into Iwaizumi's side.

The prince felt dread pool in his stomach when the red stained his shirt too quickly.

"It's not working, Iwa," Oikawa choked out, staring at the darkening fabric under his hands, "What do I do?"

Oikawa looked down at Iwaizumi's pale face and tried his best to swallow the panic that began to bubble up.

"Hajime?" Oikawa asked desperately, making the raven slowly lift his eyes to the prince's face.

"What do I do?" He repeated, whispering now.

Iwaizumi shook his head and lay himself gently on his back, taking the weight off his elbows.

"I don't think there's anything you _can_ do, Tooru."

Oikawa blinked back tears at the softness of the raven's voice. For fuck's sake, why could he not stop crying today?

"No, there's something. There has to be," Oikawa stared down at the bloodied fabric, an endless supply of ideas clicking in his brain, demanding to be heard.

"You can heal this right? Why aren't you healing this?" Oikawa asked frantically. Every passing heartbeat was simultaneously precious and panic-inducing. It kept Iwaizumi alive, while also slowly killing him with every drop of blood that slipped through Oikawa's fingers.

Iwaizumi looked at the acute desperation in Oikawa's face. He watched entire scenarios play out in those brown eyes, wide with fright. There was the small crease in the middle that signaled just how hard the prince was thinking.

Because this was him, wasn't it? He was really back?

Iwaizumi smiled slowly to himself. If there was one person that was ruthless and stubborn enough to come back from having his soul shoved out, of course it was Oikawa. How could Iwaizumi have ever doubted him?

"Iwa!" Oikawa shouted, pulling Iwaizumi's attention back to the present, "Heal this!"

"I can't," Iwaizumi murmured.

Oikawa shook his head, not wanting to hear it, "You can. Aren't you one of those Warriors? They can heal their wounds, right?"

Iwaizumi closed his eyes and clenched his blood drenched hands in the leaves, "How much did you hear?"

"It doesn't matter right now, Iwa. Just heal your wounds so we can talk ok?"

"I can't," Iwaizumi repeated, softer.

"You can!" Oikawa shouted, choking back a sob, "You have to!"

"I'm sorry for all this, Tooru," Iwaizumi murmured, looking up at the prince's face, "I shouldn't have made you feel like this was the only way you could understand me."

"Stop sounding like you're saying goodbye," Oikawa growled, his hands putting more pressure on the steady stream of blood. It was a small dagger, how was there this much damage?

Iwaizumi's breathing stuttered at the force, but he ignored Oikawa, "I should've been more honest with you. I should've thanked you every day you kept me around. I should've made you happier."

Oikawa couldn't tell if he was crying out of frustration or grief. He decided anger was easier to express so he dug his fingers deeper into Iwaizumi's side, but the raven wasn't done.

"I'm sorry for a lot, Tooru," Iwaizumi gasped at the increased pain, "but I was never sorry I met you. I only wish I could tell you how much you meant to me when we were kids."

"Tell me about it when you've healed your _fucking_ wound!" Oikawa exclaimed.

Iwaizumi turned his head away from the prince and spoke calmly in the face of Oikawa's panic, "I can't heal my wound, Tooru."

Oikawa stared down at him as he continued, "I can't do anything the Warriors could because the energy is too much for my body to handle."

"No," Oikawa mumbled, dumbly, "No, that's not right."

"It is," Iwaizumi turned his head back to look up at the prince, sadly, "That's what these bracelets are. They're constantly absorbing and dissipating the energy. I couldn't do it even if I tried."

"Then break them!" Oikawa cried, glancing at the offending bracelets out of the corner of his eye.

"If I do that, I'll just die faster," Iwaizumi whispered.

"Iwa," Oikawa whimpered, "You can't just leave me again."

How long had it been since Iwaizumi had come back into Oikawa's life? A little over a month now? It wasn't enough, he wanted more. Was it too much to ask for just a little more time?

"I'm sorry, Tooru," Iwaizumi sighed, lifting a heavy hand to set on top of Oikawa's fingers, coated in his blood.

The raven smiled up at Oikawa, "Maybe this time, I'll be the one waiting on you."

Oikawa furrowed his brow, squinting to keep the tears from blurring his vision, "You're not going anywhere, Hajime."

Iwaizumi hummed, lightly, a headache beginning to form behind his eyes, "Just promise me you'll take your time. People need you here and I promise I won't be going anywhere," Iwaizumi shifted on his back and chuckled quietly, "If you follow me too closely, I'm going to be so pissed."

"Shut up, Hajime," Oikawa whispered, "Just shut up and let me think."

Iwaizumi lifted an eyebrow, but remained silent. Truthfully, he was getting pretty tired. It was becoming harder and harder to think straight, so Iwaizumi was happy to just watch Oikawa for as long as he had left.

The prince sniffed and looked around the trees. How far from the camp were they? Surely someone heard all this fighting in the woods. Why was no one coming to help?

Brown eyes drifted back down to the bloodied, discarded dagger, just a couple feet from them. Oikawa blinked hard and looked at Iwaizumi. All the colors were still there, swimming around the raven. Were they not some hallucination from having his brain scrambled earlier?

Exactly what happened to Oikawa when he pulled out that sword?

If he could see invisible colors, could he do more?

"Can I do it?" Oikawa murmured.

Iwaizumi looked up at him, confused, "Do what?"

"Heal you," Oikawa could still see the colors tinting the air, as real to him as Iwaizumi's face.

Iwaizumi shook his head, "You can't. No one can heal people with the elements."

"I can try," Oikawa argued, blindly feeling inside himself for the place of power he supposedly had now.

"Do you even know which weapons those are?" Iwaizumi asked, regaining a little of the spark he had before.

"No," Oikawa glanced again at the dagger, muttering, "I didn't think to ask Rinta."

Iwaizumi sighed at the prince. Honestly, was it so hard to look before he leapt?

"They're Soul's weapon's," Iwaizumi explained, "You sense auras, astral-project, and alter emotions, but that's it. No healing."

Oikawa stared at Iwaizumi. Was that the colors he was seeing? Iwaizumi's aura?

"You don't know that," Oikawa said softly, but he was losing his confidence. He hadn't even known which element he had. How was he supposed to use it?

"I know more than you," Iwaizumi groaned, feeling dizzy, his fingers slipping on Oikawa's hands.

Oikawa felt the hands on his falter and frantically renewed his pressure on the wound, "You can't just bleed out here."

"I can do whatever I want, Tooru," Iwaizumi mumbled sleepily, closing his eyes for just a moment.

"Hey, no," Oikawa pressed deeper into Iwaizumi's side, making the raven open his eyes again, "No, don't close your eyes. Keep them open, keep talking to me."

Iwaizumi blinked. He was so tired. So fucking tired.

All his limbs felt sluggish and his brain could only think about closing his eyes and resting. Why wouldn't Oikawa let him rest?

"Mm so tired," Iwaizumi whispered, turning his head to squint up at Oikawa.

Oikawa looked down a Iwaizumi's face, paler than he'd ever seen before.

There had to be something else he could do.

So he had the soul element. What did that mean? Presumably, all the other Elementals could manipulate their element, right? So maybe Oikawa could manipulate the soul.

Whose soul, though? Was it just his own or was it others?

No, the question was: What can a soul do?

Oikawa groaned softly. None of this was helping. He was overthinking it, like he always did. Time to start simple. Feel for the soul.

The prince took deep breaths, calming his racing heartbeat and focusing inwards, searching for something that could be his soul.

Whatever that meant.

Seconds passed and Oikawa grew frustrated. Nothing was happening. He felt nothing. Iwaizumi didn't have this kind of time. He was basically just closing his eyes for no reason while Iwaizumi bled out under his fingertips.

Opening his eyes, Oikawa looked down again at Iwaizumi, trying to think of something else, frantically scanning the raven's slackening face for any ideas.

A pale pink caught his eye as it washed over Iwaizumi's aura, like sunlight dripping through summer leaves.

"What are you thinking about?" Oikawa asked softly, trying to keep his mind from its downward spiral.

Iwaizumi hummed, "I don't know, just thinking about how maybe this isn't such a bad way to go."

"You're at peace?" Oikawa mumbled, watching the pale pink shift and grow, his mind working things out faster than he could process.

"I guess," Iwaizumi breathed, looking up into the evening sky, trying his hardest to keep his eyes open for the prince.

Oikawa pursed his lips and dug his fingers deeper into Iwaizumi's side, making the raven cry out and shoot a glare at the prince.

"What the fuck was that for?" Iwaizumi groaned, clenching Oikawa's wrist tightly, half in confusion and half in irritation. Oikawa didn't answer him.

Oikawa wasn't ignoring Iwaizumi, he was watching the colors around him intensely. When Iwaizumi snapped at him, there were brief streaks of burnt orange tinging the colors.

Was that Iwaizumi's anger?

Iwaizumi said he could alter emotions. Maybe the prince should see how far it would go. Maybe he could snap Iwaizumi out of this resigned state. Make him fight.

"Is this really all it takes to take down the great Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked, looking closely at Iwaizumi's aura, trying to find that flash of dark orange he saw.

Iwaizumi looked at the brunette like he had lost his mind, "Are you being serious right now?"

"Come on, Iwa-chan," Oikawa continued, watching the orange flare and grow, "One little hole and you crumple like parchment. What's up with that?"

"Is now really the time for this, Oikawa?!" Iwaizumi snapped and then winced when the movement jostled his side, "You want to joke around right now?"

Oikawa stared at the flickering orange and took a hand off Iwaizumi's wound to reach out and touch it, feeling for something that told him he was doing it right.

A small tingling settled in the bones of Oikawa's hand and ran up his arm as he touched the color. It felt like a hive of bees were buzzing in his bloodstream and the prince clenched his jaw at the foreign feeling.

_Bigger._

The color came to life under his fingers and Iwaizumi gasped, panting into the sky.

"What did-," Iwaizumi wheezed, hands curling themselves into fists by his side, "What did you do?"

Oikawa scrambled to keep pressure on Iwaizumi's wound and snapped at him, "Break them, Iwa. Break them now."

"You're fucking insane," Iwaizumi seethed, twisting his body as his aura became engulfed in that rust-colored shade.

"Just hurry up and do it," Oikawa challenged him, keeping his hands on the wound while Iwaizumi writhed in barely suppressed rage, "Just one, Iwa. Just break one."

"Gods, I fucking hate you right now," Iwaizumi glared up at the prince, his eyes cutting holes in Oikawa as he gripped one of the bracelets on his wrist.

"I promise I'll stop as soon as you break it," Oikawa panted, he was beginning to feel tired, but he didn't pull away.

The grip on the metal band stalled and Oikawa saw a brief flash of doubt cross into Iwaizumi's mind. One more push to the raven's aura and Iwaizumi was gritting his teeth, bending the metal like it was nothing.

When it was enough to get his hand through, Iwaizumi slipped it out and dropped it on the ground. The metal seemed to flicker in the dim light of the evening sun, odd writings fading away until the light sputtered out and dulled.

Just like that, all the anger fell away and Iwaizumi looked up at Oikawa, brows pulled together worriedly.

"What did you just make me do?" Iwaizumi whispered.

Oikawa opened his mouth to answer, but he didn't get a chance.

A faint glow distracted him, building up quickly and blinding Oikawa before he could answer Iwaizumi. The raven's aura turned pure white and became so bright, Oikawa had to shut his eyes and turn his face away.

The skin under the prince's hands became blistering hot, singeing his fingers. Oikawa clenched his jaw and dug his hands in deeper.

It was like standing next to a roaring fire. Oikawa felt like he was back at the bonfire, getting the hairs on his arms burned by the flames.

Iwaizumi cried out and his body arched of the ground, making Oikawa fumble for the wound again. The raven's hand reached up and grabbed onto Oikawa's arm, just below the elbow.

Oikawa whimpered at the heat, but let Iwaizumi's hand grip him as hard as the raven wanted. This was all happening because of the prince, it was truly the least he could do.

Iwaizumi writhed on the ground in agony and Oikawa squinted at the blinding aura, trying to see past it to check on Iwaizumi.

The air left the prince's lungs when he saw the damage all that energy was doing to Iwaizumi.

The raven's skin had turned amber, lit from the inside, but his veins were turning dark. The fire was pouring itself through his bloodstream, slowly turning Iwaizumi's insides to ash.

Oikawa's hands began to shake so hard, they slipped off Iwaizumi entirely. Scrambling to put the ripped fabric back against the raven's wound, Oikawa realized the skin on his torso had closed up. There was only a small sliver of a scar left under drying blood to prove anything had even happened.

Relief flushed through the prince, but only for a moment, because Iwaizumi was still twisting on the ground, panting through the pain.

"Iwa, you did it," Oikawa said, voice rising to be heard over Iwaizumi's heavy breathing and his own hammering heart, "You're healed."

Iwaizumi wasn't responding, his grip only tightened on Oikawa's arm, crushing it in his hand.

"Ah!" Oikawa yelped.

He couldn't help flinching like that, it felt like Iwaizumi was only seconds away from breaking his arm with the strength of his grip.

"Iwa, how do I stop it?" Oikawa whimpered, his arm giving another throb of pain.

Iwaizumi couldn't hear him.

The prince was the one who got them in this mess, he needed to be the one to stop it from eating away at Iwaizumi.

"Hajime!" Oikawa shouted down at the raven.

A small, miniscule thread of bright green streaked across Iwaizumi's sun-like aura, becoming swallowed up by the brightness almost as quickly as it came. At the sight of the only other color in the sea of white, Oikawa had an idea.

It was very likely to be a bad idea. Possibly even worse than the last idea he had.

"Hajime!" Oikawa shouted again, looking for the blur of green.

Catching it at just the right time, Oikawa pressed into that color and grit his teeth at the burning vibrations that began to eat away at his hand. His fingers felt like they were being torn apart from the inside, but the prince refused to let go. He pushed harder, feeling a kind of resistance that wasn't there before, like he colors had a mind of their own now.

Holding his own against the burning waves of energy, Oikawa yanked whatever emotion he held right alongside him. He demanded that it fill every crevice of the raven's aura, bleed out the sunny flames, douse them until only a small bit was left, smoldering and tamed.

Oikawa's arms gave out and he slumped over Iwaizumi's chest, panting almost as hard as the raven was.

Lifting his head shakily, Oikawa looked up to see Iwaizumi breathing heavily into the night. His face was turned up to the sky, eyes flitting about the night stars, looking at something Oikawa couldn't see.

"See?" Oikawa panted, making Iwaizumi look down at him, laid across his chest, "Told ya you could do it."

Iwaizumi's face was unreadable, the low light casting impenetrable shadows across the man's face. The colors had retreated, leaving behind vague outlines now that Oikawa couldn't decipher.

"You," Iwaizumi whispered, his voice low and ambiguous as he reached for Oikawa's head.

The prince almost flinched back, sure the raven was pissed, but his hands fell gently in the brown hair.

"You crazy, egotistical, hard-headed, son of a bitch," Iwaizumi continued.

Though the words were nothing but insults, Iwaizumi's face had softened, giving the prince a look he had never seen on Iwaizumi.

The prince wasn't sure what it meant.

Iwaizumi softly pulled Oikawa's head up to his, lifting his own head off the ground to press their foreheads together as he breathed, "You just can't take 'no' for a fucking answer, can you?"

Oikawa huffed a laugh. A laugh born of such overwhelming relief and amusement at the accuracy that it tingled his mouth. The prince tilted his head forward, closing the last few centimeters separating their lips and hummed softly in contentment.

To Oikawa, Iwaizumi tasted like sharp metal, an iron forged tongue pushing against his own and reminding the prince even metals can be melted down, forged into something new.

To Iwaizumi, Oikawa tasted like honeysuckles in spring, the sweetest treat, if you knew where to look and dear gods did Iwaizumi want to spend the rest of his life searching.

"How did you," Iwaizumi broke away briefly before going back again, "do that?"

Oikawa smiled against Iwaizumi's lips and shook his head as much as the soft fingers in his hair allowed.

"No fucking clue," Oikawa whispered.

Shifting to hover over the raven, Oikawa put his hand on the ground and almost collapsed in pain.

Feeling Oikawa hiss against him, Iwaizumi straightened up, almost pulling Oikawa into his lap.

"What's wrong?" Iwaizumi asked, his bright green eyes moving hurriedly over the brunette in search of the source.

Oikawa shook his head, "It's nothing, just got a little burned, that's all."

Iwaizumi's eyes landed on Oikawa's arm and grabbed it, bringing it to him gently.

"Oikawa, what happened?" Iwaizumi asked softly, turning over the arm in his hands.

The skin around the tips of the brunette's fingertips sported red, angry blisters and deep purple bruising radiating all the way down to his wrist. Another circle of bruising caught the raven's eye and he lifted Oikawa's arm to see the imprint of his own hand in the pale skin.

"Don't say it, Iwa," Oikawa murmured, lifting his arm carefully out of the raven's grasp.

"I'm sorry, Tooru," Iwaizumi whispered, ignoring Oikawa.

"Way to kill a mood, Iwa-chan," Oikawa muttered, pulling out of Iwaizumi's lap and trying to sit up on his own.

"I am, though," Iwaizumi insisted, watching the prince struggle.

"I heard you the first twenty times you said it," Oikawa hissed, panting with exertion.

Between Iwaizumi's undeserved apology and the fact that his body wasn't listening to him, the prince was starting to get frustrated.

"Why the fuck can't I move?" Oikawa snapped.

"You used too much energy at one time, your body isn't used to it," Iwaizumi looked down at Oikawa and frowned, "It'll take time to build up the necessary resistance."

"Well, that's just great," Oikawa bit out, sarcastically, "I guess we'll just lay here until someone from the camp finds us and then we can all start fighting again."

"I think we're a little too far from the camp for that to be a problem," Iwaizumi mumbled, looking around the forest.

Oikawa glanced at the raven, "Well, where are we?"

Iwaizumi looked down at his hands, flexing them as he answered Oikawa, almost like an afterthought, "We _were_ at the camp, but when you pulled out that sword, you knocked Kageyama out and took off running. I was barely able to catch up with you."

"I don't remember that," Oikawa murmured, rubbing at his eyes.

"Well, it might not have been you, now that I think about it," Iwaizumi admitted, looking off into the trees.

Oh, right. Oikawa hadn't exactly been present in his body for a while.

"Hey," Oikawa said, waiting until Iwaizumi looked at him before continuing, "You know I didn't say any of that, right?"

Iwaizumi turned his head and began chewing lightly on his bottom lip, "Yeah, I know you didn't. You still heard it, though."

"I heard some of it," Oikawa admitted, "I don't think I heard everything he said to you."

Iwaizumi didn't say anything, but he nodded his head in acknowledgement.

The colors that had previously faded were becoming clearer the longer he looked at Iwaizumi and Oikawa could tell the raven desperately wanted to bolt, run away from this conversation. The residual white aura from before had stretched itself into a thin line and formed itself to Iwaizumi's silhouette. It looked like that one was going to be another permanent one along with that ocean deep blue along the outside.

The colors twitched, seemingly agitated by the silence and Oikawa knew the only reason Iwaizumi wasn't disappearing was because the prince could hardly move.

"It's ok if you don't want to talk about it," Oikawa murmured, wincing as he pulled his hand to cradle it against his chest, "I'll understand."

Iwaizumi frowned down at his own hands, marveling at the feeling of his one wrist freed from the metal bracelet he'd had since he turned fifteen. It was an odd feeling, it wasn't just his arm, it was across his whole body. Everything felt lighter and even though he knew it was just after sunset, he could still see the forest as clear as day.

Oikawa's words registered to the raven and he glanced up at the sky, filled with more stars than he'd ever seen before.

"I want to talk," Iwaizumi mumbled, purposely not looking at the brunette who jerked his head to stare at him in surprise, "I want to, but I don't think I know how."

Oikawa closed his mouth that had fallen open in shock. The prince nodded, understanding the feeling of wanting to talk and just not knowing how. It was frustrating to him and it seemed whenever he got like that, he couldn't rest until he had found a way to express himself. Iwaizumi, on the other hand, seemed to be more accepting of his inability to communicate, simply allowing it to become a part of him.

The prince looked down at his hands to keep himself from looking at the halo of colors around Iwaizumi. It felt wrong, like he was spying on something personal. Every emotion just out there for him to read. It felt too intimate.

Oikawa was thoroughly examining his damaged hand when Iwaizumi spoke back up.

"You're not just something interesting to pass the time," Iwaizumi murmured.

Oikawa looked up, confused how the raven had gotten to that line of thinking.

"Huh?" Oikawa asked, wincing internally at how undignified he sounded.

Iwaizumi looked down and ran a thumb over the bare spot on his arm that used to be under the bracelet he bent.

"He said you were an interesting way to pass the time, but that's not true."

"Way to hurt my feelings, Iwa-chan," Oikawa tried for playful, but it rang oddly around the empty forest.

Oikawa watched a muscle twitch in Iwaizumi's jaw as he continued, "You're a loud-mouth, pain in the ass who's too pretty for his own good."

"You think I'm pretty?" Oikawa interrupted, smiling quietly.

"Pay attention, dumbass," Iwaizumi snapped, turning Oikawa's smile into a shit-eating grin, "You're smart, you're kind, and you're so fucking ruthless with the things you want. You're not _just_ interesting."

Iwaizumi hesitated, afraid the brunette would make a joke out of the next part, but he was too far gone now to stop and he needed him to understand.

"You're _everything_ Oikawa, you always have been," Iwaizumi murmured, rubbing the skin around his wrist, "I was never good at being myself and letting other people get to know me, but it's like you want the whole world to get to know you. Maybe I wanted that, or maybe I was just glad to find someone who didn't push me to be what they wanted, I don't know."

"What I do know, is that you've never once in your life been _just_ interesting to me," Iwaizumi forced his hands to stop fidgeting and glanced up at Oikawa, "You've been so much more for a very long time."

Oikawa was speechless. For the second time in his life and both times being with Iwaizumi, he had no clue what to say.

Oh, he had plenty of things he _wanted_ to say, but nothing seemed to fit.

"Thank you so much!" Too dismissive.

"I feel the same!" Sounds disingenuous.

Nothing worked. So Oikawa fell back on the one word that came close to making him feel the same as Iwaizumi's words.

"Iwa," Oikawa choked out.

Iwaizumi raised a hand, making the prince close his mouth.

"You don't have to say anything," Iwaizumi gave a small smile, "You're not exactly the most subtle person in the world, especially when you're drunk."

Oikawa groaned and covered his eyes with his good hand, "Gods, did I really ask you to sleep with me like that?"

Iwaizumi huffed a laugh, feeling the tightness in his chest loosen for the first time in a long time, "Yeah, it was pretty embarrassing."

"Shut up, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa exclaimed, grabbing a fistful of leaves and throwing them at the raven, "You said some pretty embarrassing stuff too and you weren't even half as drunk as me."

Iwaizumi shook his head, holding back a small grin, "I don't have a clue what you're talking about. I don't say stuff like that."

"Horse-shit," Oikawa pouted, going to cross his arms over his chest when his hand gave an immense throb of pain and the prince hissed. Iwaizumi looked over and his face dropped.

"I really am sorry you know," Iwaizumi said softly.

Oikawa rolled his eyes, exasperated, "I told you not to apologize, it's my own fault, making you angry like that."

Iwaizumi's face pinched and his frown deepened, "Being angry isn't an excuse for hurting people."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," Oikawa snapped, "You didn't know you were grabbing me and you were in pain. It's perfectly understandable and I won't have you feeling guilty over something that's not your fault."

Iwaizumi didn't respond, he only pursed his lips and looked off to the side.

Oikawa sighed, "Look, I don't need you to keep apologizing to me for the rest of my life, so let me just say this."

Oikawa took a deep breath and fixed Iwaizumi with a firm stare, "I don't care."

Iwaizumi pinched his brows together and opened his mouth to argue, but Oikawa talked over him.

"I truly don't. I don't care where you came from. I don't care what names you call yourself. I don't even really care about the things you've done. None of that is important to me, unless it's important to you. It doesn't change who you are to me."

"How can you say that when I betrayed you?" Iwaizumi asked quietly, unable to look Oikawa in the eye, "I let your father get hurt and said nothing."

"Honestly, Iwa," Oikawa sighed again, "Did you think I cared so little for you that betraying me would make a difference?"

Iwaizumi didn't know what to say, he had never thought about it like that, but his guilt still gnawed away at him.

"I know you Iwa, and I know you don't like talking about things you're uncomfortable with. I would never force you to talk to me like that," Oikawa glanced down at his fingers, "but I think if you gave me a chance, I could prove to you how much I care."

Iwaizumi suddenly remembered Rinta urging him to be honest with Oikawa. Didn't she say he would be surprised at his reaction?

If worst came to worst and Oikawa abandoned Iwaizumi, he could always just blame it all on Rinta and her infuriatingly vague-ass advice.

"I don't think I'm ready for everything yet," Iwaizumi whispered, gripping his wrist hard, "but I think I can promise you the truth from here on out."

Oikawa lifted his eyes up, catching the nervous flutter in the raven's aura. It took a lot for him to say that and Oikawa felt an immense wave of gratitude for him.

The prince swallowed and nodded, "That sounds really good, Iwa. Thank you."

Iwaizumi pursed his lips and jerked his head in a short nod, avoiding the brunette's eyes. Pulling himself up, Iwaizumi began recovering his and Oikawa's strewn weapons. He wiped his own blood off the small, light dagger and sheathed the both of them, attaching them to his own harness.

The raven glanced over at Oikawa, still on the ground with the short sword strapped to his back. He doubted the prince even realized he had it, but as long as it was safe, Iwaizumi supposed it was Oikawa's now anyways.

Oikawa tried again to stand, pushing himself on his knees with his good arm while keeping his damaged one close to his chest. From his knees, he was unable to stand, his body swaying dangerously close to tipping over.

Sliding next to the prince, Iwaizumi put an arm around his waist and draped Oikawa's good arm over his shoulders. Iwaizumi hesitated, looking at the prince out of the corner of his eye.

"Is this ok?" Iwaizumi murmured, gesturing to the contact.

Oikawa nodded and sucked in a breath as Iwaizumi pulled them both to their feet. Oikawa clutched at the raven's shoulder to keep himself from falling, his knees too weak to hold him.

Oh holy shit, Oikawa thought to himself, they'd really come full circle. Now it was his turn to be injured and half carried by Iwaizumi. All they needed now was a castle full of gawking busybodies to stare at them and the recreation was finally complete.

"I'm sorry, I know it hurts," Iwaizumi whispered, interrupting Oikawa's thoughts, "We can't stay here though. We need to get your arm taken care of, ok?"

Again, Oikawa could do nothing but nod. With the adrenaline working its way out of his system, the pain in the prince's arm began waking up.

"How far?" Oikawa gritted out.

Iwaizumi glanced at the dark forest and back up to the sky before pursing his lips and admitting, "It'd be a miracle if we made it back to the town before sunrise."

The mention of the town jarred something loose in Oikawa's mind and he jerked to grip the raven's shoulder, "The town! Iwa, Kageyama wants to attack the town. I don't know when, but with me disappearing like that, he might move up the timeline."

Oikawa tried to move his legs, but all he managed to do was tip himself over, nearly dragging Iwaizumi down with him.

Steadying the both of them, Iwaizumi calmly began the journey back through the trees, Oikawa in tow.

"That was always a possibility. It's why there were no children in the town," Iwaizumi said and Oikawa opened his mouth, but the raven talked over him, "We evacuated all towns next to the military camps a few months ago. All that's left are people willing and ready to fight."

"Months ago? How long have these camps been there?" Oikawa asked. It wasn't right, he would have noticed squadrons of soldiers going missing, just vanishing into Seijoh.

Iwaizumi spared an odd glance at the brunette, but he answered, "They set up about five months ago. They didn't do anything at first, so we let them be."

A shadow passed over Iwaizumi's face and Oikawa felt that there was more.

"But then?" Oikawa offered, waiting patiently.

"They attacked Morena a little over three months ago," Iwaizumi said softly, "It was horrible. They barely left anyone alive and those that survived just kind of-," Iwaizumi paused, searching for the right way to describe it, "It's like they can't get away from what happened to them."

"They told me it was an unprovoked attack on our scouts," Oikawa whispered.

"They probably had to tell you something to explain the loss of life," Iwaizumi muttered, pursing his lips.

"I knew it wasn't right when they showed me the camp," Oikawa murmured, "But I had no idea it was so bad."

Iwaizumi glanced at the prince out of the corner of his eye. It sounded fake, but be had no reason to lie to him now. None that Iwaizumi could see.

"Yeah, I know."

"We're the ones you wanted to fight against when you came to Aoba Johsai," Oikawa breathed, feeling his legs turning numb.

"I-," Iwaizumi paused, but he did promise Oikawa he would be truthful with him, "I did."

Oikawa nodded, not lifting his gaze from the forest floor, "Why'd you change your mind?"

Iwaizumi shifted Oikawa higher up on his shoulders and looked around the forest, "I, uh, guess it was because of you."

Oikawa glanced up to look at Iwaizumi's face. The raven noticed the attention and blew out a breath, lifting his shoulder in a half shrug, "I don't know, Oikawa. It was just a lot to process at the time. I thought the kid from my childhood was some peasant living on the outskirts. I never thought I was going to see him again and if I did, even if he remembered me, it wouldn't matter because we'd be on two separate sides."

Oikawa raised his eyebrows. Boy, when Iwaizumi said he was going to be more honest, he really meant it.

"But then you came to me, sitting down and talking to me like you cared and I couldn't understand it. I understood it even less when you said you were the prince," Iwaizumi continued to explain, watching Oikawa come back a little from that lost look he had in his face. Iwaizumi would talk all day if it kept his face from looking like that again.

"And when you introduced me to Hanamaki, Kunimi, and Yahaba, I thought maybe there was a possibility not everyone knew the things happening over here. I saw a chance with the truce you seemed dead set on making. I thought maybe," Iwaizumi sighed, furrowing his brow, "Maybe there was hope."

Iwaizumi continued pulling Oikawa through the trees while the brunette thought over his words. From the small glances out of the corner of his eyes, Iwaizumi could tell he wasn't as lost as earlier. The prince seemed more focused now, the strategic brilliance Iwaizumi had long admired began firing behind those mocha colored eyes.

"Bring me back to camp, Iwa. I have an idea," Oikawa murmured, still thinking things over in his head.

"Do you even know what you look like right now, Oikawa?" Iwaizumi asked, giving the brunette a pointed look, "No offence, but you look like shit. Your eyes look like some kind of drunkard, your hair has leaves in it, and you can barely stand on your own."

Oikawa threw Iwaizumi a dirty look, but the raven wasn't done, "Not to mention, your arm is three kinds of fucked up and you just want me to, what? Drop you off at the camp with a homicidal nut-job?" Iwaizumi shook his head, "I don't think so."

"Hold on, back up," Oikawa winced, lifting his arm, "What do you mean my arm is three kinds of fucked?" It was an oddly specific number.

Iwaizumi glanced down at the damaged arm and sighed, "The burns are obviously from you touching me and me grabbing you while the energy was surging," Iwaizumi bit his lip and Oikawa knew he was physically stopping himself from apologizing again.

"I also think I might have grabbed you too hard," Iwaizumi added, miserably, looking at the fresh ring of bruising just below his elbow, "It's possibly fractured."

Oikawa looked down at his arm as well, eyes traveling along the appendage, assessing the damage.

"And the bruising on my hand?" Oikawa murmured.

It wasn't like the discoloration around his forearm, these bruises looked like they radiated out from his fingers almost like a spider web. Cracks of blues and dark purples wormed their way up to just above his wrist. It was an odd pain too, like a sharp, bone-deep ache.

Iwaizumi looked worriedly down at Oikawa's hand, "That's what it looks like when you use too much of the energy. It's different for everyone, some burn up, some bleed out, and some fall apart like that."

"Lucky me," Oikawa mumbled dryly.

"You're _lucky_ it's just your hand," Iwaizumi bit back. It sounded harsher than he meant it, but Oikawa took no notice.

"Ok, so I'm a little banged up," Oikawa admitted.

Iwaizumi looked at him as if to say, ' _A_ _little?_ ' but Oikawa ignored him.

"I still need to go to the camp," Oikawa insisted, "It's closer than the town, right?"

Iwaizumi reluctantly nodded.

"Great!" Oikawa smiled, "It'll take less time and we can bandage my arm on the way."

Arguing at this point would get Iwaizumi nowhere. He knew that, Oikawa knew that, fuck, even the sleeping squirrels knew that. And yet...

"I'd feel better if you let Rinta take a look at your arm," Iwaizumi said softly.

Oikawa's set jawline softened just the slightest bit as he looked at Iwaizumi's concerned face. It was obviously turned away from him, but his concern was still in his body language.

"I just have to do one, _tiny_ thing at the camp and then we can go back to Rinta, ok?" Oikawa offered, giving Iwaizumi an encouraging smile.

It wasn't a good idea. Iwaizumi could just _feel_ it in the air, or maybe he was getting better at reading Oikawa's face. Either way, he wasn't a fan of whatever plan the prince wanted to keep to himself.

Things would work out, right? Iwaizumi tried to convince himself as the pair of them stumbled through the woods, Oikawa's legs regaining more of his strength every passing moment. Things always did seem to just work out lately.

Meeting the prince in Aoba Johsai, catching that arrow in time, the prince being weirdly compatible with the soul element. Everything had been rough, but they had all managed to scrape by.

Surely whatever the prince had planned couldn't be that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, we're back down to a cool 9,000 chapter and it's so DAMN close to 100,000 I want to cry haha.
> 
> Less of a cliff-hanger this time, so that's a plus. Yay!
> 
> Ok, who was shocked Oikawa got the soul element? Honestly, I can't imagine him having another one, but that's just my humble opinion. (Maybe water, but that one's taken)
> 
> There's, like, a minor reference to Hamilton in here. When he dies (that's not a spoiler, right? Like, this happened 200 years ago) and he's telling Eliza to take her time.
> 
> "My love, take your time,  
> I'll see you on the other side."  
> -Hamilton, (Lin-Manuel Miranda)
> 
> I was watching Doctor Who in the background while I was writing this, so you got a bomb ass DW quote from the great Peter Capaldi in here.
> 
> "Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?" -12th Doctor, Doctor Who (Peter Capaldi)
> 
> And just between us, that whole season of Docto Who just hurt me so fucking much. Like damn, I'm here for the aliens and shitty animation, not to have my soul put through a shredder, k thanks...
> 
> ALSO!!! How would you guys feel about me adding some other characters in here? I've had this idea to bring in Atsumu, Sakusa, Daichi, Suga, Bokuto, and Akaashi (maybe also Kenma and Kuroo just to make my sister happy) and Hinata! Ugh I love that sunshine bean, I need him in here somewhere. Fuck if I know where though...
> 
> God, you guys are just so great. It's only like 3-4 of you that are always giving me feedback but you have no idea how much I appreciate it. Like, I get so happy when I see the inbox notification. It's y'all's fault this thing is as big as it is, honestly, I think I would've ran out of inspiration at 40,000 words.
> 
> You guys are the best, keep being awesome!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm losing it, guys. I know where I want to end and I know the broad strokes along the way, but actually writing it out is taking soooo much time. For reference, I'm just now starting to type this Monday night at 9 PM and I've got 3,000 words on my phone that I gotta transfer to my laptop, it's a hassle. And we all know 3,000 words just won't cut it. Do you know how pissed I'd be if I was reading a fic that had consistent(ish) chapter length and out of nowhere it just gets halved? So pissed.
> 
> I know I've been saying this since like, chapter 6, but this time I really mean it. I'm putting my foot down (softly, because I have a spongy backbone). I'm updating bi-weekly now.
> 
> I want to give you guys something good, not something I'm just okay with, but something I'm actually kind of proud of and I feel that I might have been letting it slip the last couple chapters because I was focusing too much on the deadline and not enough on the actual story that I want to portray.
> 
> Please find it in your hearts to forgive me, I'll keep working until it's finished, I can promise that, it just might take a little while longer.

Oikawa was one long blink away from packing up his pride and asking Iwaizumi to carry him the rest of the way back to the camp.

They had been walking literally all night. The second after Iwaizumi had tightened the bandages around Oikawa's damaged arm, he pointed in a direction and the pair started walking.

Oikawa was so _fucking_ tired.

In his drowsy state, the prince's foot slipped in the dry leaves and he flung an arm out to catch himself on a tree at the last second. Taking a minute to pull himself together, Oikawa didn't notice Iwaizumi watching him until the raven spoke.

"You need to take it easy," Oikawa opened his tired eyes to look at Iwaizumi, "you've put your body through a lot today and it needs rest."

Oikawa glared at Iwaizumi, having the nerve to stand there and lecture him about self care like he _hadn't_ been minutes from death just a few hours ago. Yet there he stood, not a scratch on him, while Oikawa was struggling to put one foot in front of the other. Maybe people with godly ancestors should just stay in their damn lane and let everyone else decide how to ruin their bodies.

"I'm well aware of what my body's capable of, thank you," Oikawa muttered dryly, "You said we're almost there and we've got a few minutes before sunrise, so I was just taking a quick break."

"Right," Iwaizumi drawled, raising an eyebrow at the exhausted droop to the prince's body as the tree supported over half his body weight. Iwaizumi decided he didn't want to push the issue any further. Last thing he needed was a tired _and_ cranky Oikawa.

Hearing the sarcasm in the raven's voice but opting to be the bigger person, Oikawa let it go in favor of a few seconds of rest.

It would have been nice. Except for the fact that now, whenever he closed his eyes, he saw bright red blood splattering and pooling on the insides of his eyelids.

Sighing and opening his eyes back up, Oikawa frowned at Iwaizumi, "For future reference, exactly how worried should I be the next time you get stabbed or shot with an arrow?"

"Please tell me that's not part of your secret plan," Iwaizumi grumbled, cringing at the thought of having to be stabbed again. It wasn't a particularly pleasant feeling and he didn't like how the prince said 'next time'.

"No," Oikawa pouted, turning his face to the side, "I'm just tired of having a heart attack every time something happens to you."

A gentle reminder that he cared.

A faint blush crept up on Iwaizumi's face. Despite everything Oikawa had told Iwaizumi about his feelings, it still didn't feel real to the raven.

If he thought about it, ultimately nothing had changed. Oikawa was still the talkative one, over-sharing while simultaneously leaving a lot unsaid and Iwaizumi was the quiet one, saying the important things and leaving the rest to be assumed.

Oikawa's love and friendship had always been loud in both volume and intensity.

Iwaizumi's had always been quiet.

Oikawa was the lightening and the thunder, bright enough to light the sky and shake the world, while Iwaizumi was the unwavering rain with its soft caresses under silvery clouds and endless pitter-patter sounds. One capable of setting the hottest fires and the other able to soothe the burn.

Iwaizumi scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "I think as long as it's not instant death, I should recover pretty quickly. I don't really know a lot about it and it's not like there's someone I can ask about this stuff."

"That's true," Oikawa mumbled, leaning his head against the bark of the tree and looking up into the faintest brightening of the sky.

Several heartbeats of silence passed until Iwaizumi spoke up.

"Can you please tell me what you're thinking, Oikawa?" Iwaizumi's voice grew soft, trying to coax the details out of the prince. Just like he'd been doing for hours now.

Oikawa sighed, not taking his eyes off the sky, "I told you Iwa-chan, I'm still working a few things out. It's not complete, but I'll get there."

"Tell me what you have already, maybe I can help," Iwaizumi offered.

"Well, step one is going back to camp, but," Oikawa shook his head, "I don't want you going back there, it's not safe for you."

"It's not safe for you either, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi growled.

Oikawa tilted his head to look at the raven instead of the early morning sky, "If I don't go, they're going to attack that town, Iwa. You know I can't have that on my conscious."

"Neither can I!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, running a hand through his hair, "I'm not saying stay out of the camp, I'm saying don't go there alone."

"I'm just going there to talk to them," Oikawa huffed, turning his face away.

"Yeah, and look how well 'talking' went last time," Iwaizumi snapped.

"So I don't go in rooms with possible assassins," Oikawa said sarcastically, "I think I can manage that this time."

"All of them are possible assassins, Oikawa!" Iwaizumi barked back.

"They're still my people, Iwa," Oikawa's face soured, "I won't be scared of my own kingdom."

"It's not being scared, it's being smart," Iwaizumi reasoned, unhappily, "You don't know everyone on Kageyama's side. It could be all of them or none of them, we don't know! You have just as good a chance of being killed as you do walking out of there and I don't like those odds."

"Well, you say it like that then literally everything has a 50-50 chance of killing me," Oikawa theorized, much to the irritation of the raven, "Something either kills you or it doesn't."

"For fuck's sake," Iwaizumi groaned into the hand covering his face, "I'm not getting in a philosophical debate with you right now. I want to know what you're planning to do about this."

"I'm going to talk to them," Oikawa said, as if it were obvious.

"That's it?" Iwaizumi asked, incredulously, "That's your big idea?"

Oikawa frowned and pulled the wrappings on his arm tighter, making him wince, "I told you, I still needed to work a few details out."

"You need to work _all_ the details out!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, looking at Oikawa pleadingly, "At least take me with you so I can make sure you're ok."

"No," Oikawa shook his head firmly, "It'll be hard enough to make them listen to me, but if you're there looking over my shoulder, it'll be impossible."

Iwaizumi shot a glare at Oikawa, still leaning against the tree. He was right, but Iwaizumi didn't want to admit it. The raven began to pace, needing an outlet for the immense tingling he felt in his veins. All the walking had helped keep the buzzing at bay, but now that they had stopped, Iwaizumi realized how bad it was getting.

Oikawa watched Iwaizumi pace, "You should go back to Rinta's. I'll meet you there when I'm finished and we can join up with the rest of the group."

Oh shit, Iwaizumi had almost forgotten they had been traveling with other people. The raven glanced up at the slowly pinkening sky foretelling the rising of the sun. Matsukawa should be arriving at the town sometime around noon today so long as nothing had happened. Oikawa and Iwaizumi could have met up with everyone last night, if everything hadn't gone so sideways.

"I'm not sitting at Rinta's with a thumb up my ass just waiting on you to come back," Iwaizumi grumbled.

Oikawa groaned softly as he pushed himself off the tree and gave Iwaizumi a playful smile, "What you do in your downtime is up to you, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, "Eat shit, Trashykawa."

"I'll pass, thanks," Oikawa chuckled as he began walking again, feeling refreshed enough to face the camp now.

Iwaizumi followed silently behind him, shifting with barely a sound over the dried leaves.

"Hey, Iwa?" Oikawa murmured, looking ahead through the trees.

Iwaizumi hummed, telling the brunette he was listening.

"Can you tell me more about this soul element thing?" Oikawa asked softly.

Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips in thought, "I've kind of already told you everything I know. The emotional manipulation, astral-projecting, and the visible auras are all pretty common knowledge. Rinta might know more, but for the most part, Soul is a pretty ambiguous element, there's not a lot we know about it."

"How come?"

"It's not really the same for everyone," Iwaizumi shrugged, moving some low hanging branches to the side, "It's also different because it's the only one without a balancer."

"A balancer?" Oikawa glanced back at the raven.

Iwaizumi nodded, "Yeah, all the others have a balancer, something to keep them in check or supported in some way."

Oikawa opened his mouth to ask for more clarification, but Iwaizumi had already seen the question on his face.

"It's like an opposite. Air has Earth to keep them together and grounded, just like Earth has Air to keep them from being too locked down and serious. It's a give and take for all the elements, except Soul. We really don't know what it means to balance that one out."

Oikawa furrowed his brow. He didn't _feel_ unbalanced. Not that he felt particularly all put-together, but he would know if he was unstable, wouldn't he?

"We think it's because of the lack of a balancer that no one can keep Soul for more than about five years at a time," Iwaizumi continued, "Rinta had it the longest at eighteen years."

It was actually a majorly researched subject back home. Most people claiming to be the best and brightest minds in Seijoh travelled for miles to work in Center City where the Elementals lived, just to get the chance to study Soul. The pair of researchers they had now were a little odd, but they did come up with interesting theories every now and then.

"What makes them give it up?" Oikawa asked, interrupting Iwaizumi's thoughts.

Iwaizumi shrugged, "They say they just can't handle it anymore and ask to be muted."

"Muted?" Oikawa was beginning to get tired of only speaking in questions.

Iwaizumi held up his wrist with the only bracelet he had left and shook it, "Muted. It's regular metal put through a special refining process and inscribed with markings. It attracts the energy and dissipates it."

"Wait," Oikawa rubbed his forehead while he walked, trying to remember his time with Rinta, "but Rinta didn't have a bracelet like that."

"It doesn't have to be a bracelet. Doesn't even have to be a permanent thing," Iwaizumi explained, looking at his own metal covered wrist, "They made Rinta's into a necklace. She says she doesn't like wearing it all the time. Makes her feel like she's living underwater."

Iwaizumi looked down at the leaves and murmured, "She only wears it on the bad days."

Oh, Oikawa did not like the sound of that.

"You wouldn't care to elaborate on that one, would you?"

Iwaizumi ran a hand through his hair, "I told you, this affects everyone differently."

Looking up, Iwaizumi saw Oikawa's unsatisfied face and sighed, "It's not my place to say anything more, but I will tell you I don't think you have to worry about those particular side effects."

Oikawa pursed his lips, but didn't pursue the issue. Instead, he changed the subject.

"So can the Elementals manipulate it for the rest of their lives?"

Iwaizumi hummed, "No, it sort of fades the more time you spend away from the weapons. Most people don't need to be muted for more than a few years until they're back to normal."

Well maybe that was comforting, knowing Oikawa hadn't permanently altered his body.

But then it begged the question.

"What am I now?" Oikawa asked himself quietly.

Prince of Aoba Johsai _and_ one of the Seven Elementals of Seijoh? It didn't sound right. Was it possible to be both? And if he couldn't be both, did abandoning one mean he was truly worthy of the other in the first place?

"Gods, you're so dramatic, Tooru. I can practically hear the high-pitched whirring of the gears in your head," Iwaizumi groaned.

Oikawa shot him a look and the raven grinned, shrugging, "What's the point in labelling yourself? To have something define you?" Iwaizumi scoffed, "Definitions only mean there's no room to grow and change. They're only there to make other people comfortable and I don't remember you ever giving a shit about making people comfortable."

"Ok, first of all, rude," Oikawa huffed, "and second, have you even met me? All I do is try to make people comfortable."

Oikawa frowned and kicked out at a large clump of leaves he passed, "I'm not saying it's _healthy_ , but..."

Iwaizumi squinted at Oikawa, "No, you're not listening. You _push_ them, Oikawa. You think Maki stays up late refining documents because it's his idea of a good time?"

"Well, no," Oikawa mumbled.

"You think Yahaba _wants_ to keep getting his hand nearly bitten off by Kyōtani every time he reaches for something? The kid wants to make you proud."

"He doesn't need to try so hard," Oikawa whispered.

"The point is," Iwaizumi sighed, "making people comfortable and making them better are not the same things."

Oikawa looked back to see Iwaizumi smiling softly at him.

The raven was doing that a lot more now. Smiling at Oikawa. Smiling in general. And every time the prince saw it, the sight never failed to make him pause. Make him take stock and realize this was important. This was something he needed to remember.

Oikawa wanted to learn how to make Iwaizumi smile like that more.

"What?" Iwaizumi came to a stop, face falling into concern.

The prince just realized that he had stopped walking when he had looked back at Iwaizumi.

"Nothing," Oikawa coughed, turning around to continue walking, "You're just being awfully chatty today. It's new."

"Yeah, you're right," Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at Oikawa's turned back, "maybe I should stop talking so much."

"No!" Oikawa blurted, swinging around only to see the teasing look on the raven's face.

"Real cute, Iwa-chan," Oikawa mumbled, cheeks flushing as he turned back, "You're _so_ funny."

Since when did Iwaizumi tease the prince? Ok, sure, it was a little exhausting being the one responsible for the humor in the relationship, but now that it was directed at him, Oikawa wasn't sure he liked this new dynamic.

Iwaizumi chuckled, clearly the only one being amused.

Approximately ten more minutes of walking and Iwaizumi spoke up, face and voice serious once again.

"We're only about two minutes out now. How do you want to handle this?"

Oikawa pursed his lips and raised a hopeful eyebrow, "By myself?"

Iwaizumi frowned down at the leaves for several heartbeats.

"Is there any way I can talk you into letting me stay?" Iwaizumi murmured.

If Oikawa was being honest with himself, he really didn't know what he was going to say to his people to make them stand down. Having Iwaizumi there with him would give the prince such an immense feeling of relief it was almost worth the risk. Oikawa just couldn't figure out how he could let Iwaizumi stay without putting him in danger.

"I wish there was," Oikawa said quietly.

Iwaizumi nodded, absently rubbing at his bare wrist. He'd been expecting that answer. It didn't mean he had to like it though.

"Don't go getting yourself killed now," Iwaizumi huffed, "You didn't go through all this shit just to be killed by the likes of bigots."

Oikawa grinned and huffed a soft laugh, "Oh don't worry, there's only one person I've given permission to kill me and for some reason he's decided to keep me around."

"He sounds like an idiot," Iwaizumi grumbled.

"The biggest," Oikawa agreed.

The pair shared small smiles in the brightening morning.

Iwaizumi jerked his chin in the direction they had been heading, "You keep going that way and you can't miss it. You remember the way back to town?"

Oikawa nodded.

"Good," Iwaizumi rubbed a hand through his hair, not wanting to go, but running out of reasons to stay, "I'll meet you there, then."

"Iwa, wait," Oikawa blurted out.

Iwaizumi, who had been in the middle of turning around, paused and looked back at the prince.

"I, uh," Oikawa pulled at the bandages they had made for his arms out of scraps from his and Iwaizumi's shirts. The cloth tightened and the prince focused himself with the pain.

"I can do this, right?" Oikawa murmured, allowing himself the smallest show of doubt with the only person who knew him well enough not to panic over it, "I'm not about to make things worse, am I?"

Iwaizumi slowly turned to face the prince, giving him his undivided attention.

"You remember the night of the bonfire?"

Oikawa nodded.

"You remember what I said when you doubted yourself then, right?"

Oikawa nodded again. The prince had been right about only needing to remember a few words and then everything that night would just fall into place. His father's last words to him sounded awfully familiar when he heard them and it wasn't until Oikawa had seen Iwaizumi's face that he suddenly remembered where he'd heard it before.

And now the prince could remember things he couldn't believe he had ever forgotten, things he would hold near and dear to his heart for as long as he lived.

Iwaizumi had told him that he liked being around the prince, had said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He'd told him to be light, to be soft, happy, and proud. And just like his father, Iwaizumi had told him to be everything he was meant to be, as if Oikawa had a clue what that was supposed to be.

"Don't let them take your kindness," Iwaizumi whispered, making Oikawa look up at him, "it's not wasteful, it's not weak, and it's not _nothing_."

Iwaizumi glanced up at Oikawa to find him watching and then brought his eyes back down to his wrist, "I've seen you do the impossible in the last twenty-four hours and I think it would be a mistake to think you can't do it again."

Oikawa felt color rise in his cheeks as he stared at Iwaizumi. The raven's aura had simply become a living, breathing background because, as beautiful as it was, Iwaizumi was what drew his attention the most. More than the dancing colors, the ethereal swirls, Oikawa wanted to see the raven's face.

"Worst pep-talk ever, Iwa-chan," Oikawa said softly through a small grin.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and pulled his arms across his chest, defensively, "It wasn't meant to be a pep-talk, Shittykawa. It was just facts and advice, take it or leave it."

"I'll take it," Oikawa chuckled, "Thank you, Iwa."

Iwaizumi shrugged, still not used to saying things like this. He doubted he'd ever be able to simply say these things without feeling ridiculous.

It was worth it though. Iwaizumi looked up to Oikawa's face, more relaxed and confident than it had been moments ago. He'd say anything to keep Oikawa like this.

"You good now?" Iwaizumi asked, raising an eyebrow at the prince.

Oikawa nodded, "I'm better."

"Ok, see you at Rinta's," Iwaizumi turned again, raising a hand in a wave, "and don't take too long or I'm dragging your ass back, like it or not."

Oikawa sighed. Somehow, he didn't doubt the raven would do exactly that, whether the prince was still in the camp or not.

The prince turned to continue on, his focus now solely on making his people stay their weapons.

Too soon, the camp came into view through the trees. Oikawa could hear the sounds of rumbling. A lot of rustling. An army's worth of noise.

Squaring his shoulders, Oikawa walked confidently through the makeshift gates of the camp, the guards hesitating at the sight of their prince in their midst.

Gesturing to the handful of guards that had noticed him, Oikawa smiled at the group and spoke loudly.

"I need you to round up everyone you can find. Tell them their prince has something important to say."

Jaws slack and eyes wide, the young men and women nodded dumbly. Snapping back to their senses, they scrambled to do as Oikawa asked, dispersing and spreading the word. Oikawa looked after them, surprised to find that their auras were visible to him as well, though not as bright as Iwaizumi's was.

Oikawa gave the bandages one more nervous pull before walking towards the center of camp. His presence garnered a lot of attention. It was hard to miss the heir to the kingdom walking calmly through the camp with bloodied bandages wrapped around half his arm. Before long, the prince had a large group surrounding him.

All the different colors were very distracting and Oikawa had to fight to keep himself from gawking at the air around his people. Hopefully, there would be time for that later.

His walk was slow and serene as he glanced about the camp, finally finding what he was looking for and making a beeline for it.

No good camp was complete without a dining hall to feed its people. There, Oikawa would find a space open enough not to have to worry about Kageyama and his followers.

Iwaizumi had made it seem like every person here could be on Kageyama's side, but if that was true, why did the elder lie when those guards came in? If they were all in on this together, why didn't he just tell the guards to kill both Oikawa and Iwaizumi? It would have been a lot easier and probably would have worked out better.

No, Oikawa didn't think everyone here was against him. Not yet anyways.

Strolling through the giant double doors and into the dining hall, Oikawa hopped up on one of the long tables stretching the length of the room while he waited for more people to flood in.

A hush fell over a small section of the crowd and when Oikawa glanced over, he saw Kageyama staring back at him. Emotionless as ever, but Oikawa couldn't help the small, smug grin on his face when he saw the elder's black eye marring his features. The prince really wished he was able to remember that, he bet it felt great.

Oikawa should have been surprised at the lack of color in Kageyama's aura, but the prince found that it suited the noble. The muted tones moved lazily about the man, slow to move and slow to react.

Noting the people glancing nervously at the noble, Oikawa passed his eyes over the crowd. This was a lot more people than he had thought. It looked like at least two hundred people, possibly three hundred. Were there this many people in all those other camps? Did Aoba Johsai's military really have this much to spare?

The flow of people was beginning to taper off and Oikawa had a moment of panic because he still hadn't decided the best way to approach this.

A part of him wanted to demand answers from each and every person here, but he knew most of these men and women were only here because they had been told to be here. Oikawa had to remind himself they had little say in the matter.

Another part of him wanted to simply tell everyone to pack it up and head home. He knew there would be questions and as the heir, Oikawa wasn't required to answer any of them. He didn't have to, but his people deserved to know.

More and more people started to look at him expectantly and Oikawa cleared his throat, causing a blanket of silence to descend.

"In politics, there's a fair amount of beating around the bush that gets done," Oikawa hid his fidgeting fingers in the folds of the bandages, "That's what happens when someone's entire job boils down to a lot of talking. They start using fancy words, vague ideas, and will never admit that their arguments might be flawed. It's all a distraction. Smoke and mirrors with words."

"But I see no politicians here today," Oikawa did his best to make eye contact with as many people as he could, purposely ignoring Kageyama, "I see honest, hard working people who have put their blood, sweat, and tears into this kingdom. You are not people of words, you are people of action."

A small ripple of nods washed over the crowd.

"Which is why I want to make this as clear and concise as I can," Oikawa took a deep breath, definitely not pausing for dramatic effect, "There will be no more advances in Seijoh's territory for the foreseeable future."

A heartbeat of silence passed.

Two heartbeats.

The people around him looked to each other as if to verify they were not alone in their confusion.

Kageyama's voice broke the quiet rustle of restless bodies.

"Sir, all this has already been decided by your father. He told me so himself," a creepy, empty smile worked its way onto Kageyama's face, "If there's an issue with the order, it's something we can discuss more in private."

Oikawa knew he had a much more convincing smile and the prince displayed it now, "You wouldn't mind showing me the royal stamp from the palace, would you? Since I'm sure we're all aware that no decree is valid without the royal seal."

"Of course, sir. If you would come down, I'd be happy to lead the way."

The prince sincerely hoped this was only a last ditch effort at getting him alone, because if it wasn't, he'd have to reconsider Kageyama's intelligence.

"I would like to continue speaking with my people while I wait," Oikawa said, voice smooth as honey, "I'm sure they have questions and I've been away from home for so long, it's nice to see familiar faces."

Kageyama's face soured and Oikawa waited until him and his group turned to leave before adding, "And it's actually, 'your highness', Lord Kageyama. Do try your best to remember that for next time."

A faint flicker of rage burned in those cold blue eyes and Oikawa's smile widened as the doors closed and he was alone with his people.

"Any questions?" Oikawa asked politely, eager to dispel the unnerving quiet.

The crowd of people shuffled their feet, looking around to see the person brave enough to be the first one to speak.

"Really," Oikawa insisted, "I don't mind. Please, if you have something to say, you can say it. No repercussions here."

Another awkward couple of seconds passed until a slight woman near the front piped up, raising her hand like they were in a classroom.

Oikawa nodded at her to speak.

"I think we all just want to know why, your highness," the woman lowered her hand slowly, looking around to see if anyone objected.

The prince sighed, relieved and grateful for the question, "Does anyone know why you're attacking in the first place?"

The woman glanced around at the dozens of people now looking at her, expecting her to be their mouthpiece.

"Um, to control the river port?" She sounded unsure.

"The river's a big place, it stretches for miles, why not go someplace else?" Oikawa asked.

"Because there's already a port here," the woman said hesitantly, "it's easier to set up here where there's already buildings established."

"So are we the type of people who kill others because it's easier?" Oikawa furrowed his brow and softened his voice.

The woman looked down and shuffled her feet, unsure what to say to that question.

"Maybe 'easy' isn't the right word choice, your highness."

Oikawa looked over to a stout man in the middle of the crowd, "What would you call it?"

"Necessary, your highness," the man said, confidently.

"How so?" Oikawa challenged, standing straighter, "Is it 'kill-or-be-killed'? Are you in fear for your life every time you leave this camp?"

"It would be foolish not to be cautious," the man said slowly.

"There must be a reason you're so cautious," Oikawa said, moving closer on top of the table, "So how many casualties have there been since you came here?"

The man opened his mouth to respond and shut it when he realized it wouldn't help his case.

"How many, sir?" Oikawa asked again. His voice didn't get louder, nor did it soften. It was simply a repetition.

"None that I know of, your highness," the man admitted.

Oikawa raised his eyebrows in mock shock and looked around the large room. Some people looked as if this was new information, while others nodded, brows creased as if he had voiced a concern they'd had for weeks.

"Surely, you've encountered the people from Seijoh out on patrols," Oikawa said.

More nods.

"And not one of them got violent with you?" Oikawa mused, "Even though we're stealing their resources and occupying their land without permission?"

It was a rhetorical question and Oikawa was glad to see no one trying to defend themselves.

"Is it possible," Oikawa continued, voice quiet, but still loud enough to echo across the high ceiling, "that we're not the ones in the right?"

No one spoke, men and women stood in loose groups around the table and glanced at each other. Seeing the doubts in others only increased their own feelings of doubt, so they looked down at their shuffling feet.

"We've been told the people from Seijoh are violent, but there's not a single person in the sickbay to confirm this," Oikawa began to move up and down the long table, letting his voice carry across his people.

"We've been told Seijoh would never agree to a peace treaty, but I'm traveling with a group risking everything to get us to Center City."

"We've been told Seijoh can't be trusted, but I'm only alive because of them," Oikawa watched their eyes widen and travel down to his arm, wrapped in stained strips of cloth.

"Aren't you tired of being told what to think about people you've never met?" Oikawa exclaimed, voice sweeping across the mass of people, "Aren't you tired of holding grudges against strangers?"

"They've killed us too, your highness," a small voice rose out of the crowd, "Maybe not all of them are bad, but I don't think all of them are good either."

Oikawa turned to see who had spoken. It was a kid, maybe just turned eighteen, straight out of the training camps. Life had yet to really hit the kid, her face was still fresh with innocence and the confidence of youth.

"You're not wrong," Oikawa said softly, his body still bore the faint bruising from his first night at that town, "but the same could be said about us and killing them won't change that."

"We can try," someone else spoke up, seemingly emboldened by the one objection to the prince's words.

"Killing people isn't something you just _try_ _out_ and see if it works," Oikawa snapped.

The last person to speak flinched slightly at the prince's tone and Oikawa had to take a deep breath.

"The lives we lost to Seijoh were each important and irreplaceable," Oikawa murmured, "but has anyone thought about the importance of Seijoh's lives? Do they matter less simply because we don't know them?"

"That's exactly why they matter less," Kageyama's voice rang out over the crowd and Oikawa turned to look at the elder.

"Every person at that town is someone's parent or child," Oikawa said, careful to keep the bite out of his voice.

"It doesn't matter to me what they are, as long as I can protect my own family," Kageyama argued.

"Your family's not in danger," Oikawa bit back, "No one's family is, there hasn't been an attack on Aoba Johsai soil in over fifty years."

"That's because we've brought the fight to them and have kept it from our own people."

Oikawa ground his teeth. Every argument he made always seemed to be shot down by Kageyama. It must be a real talent to be able to corrupt and twist anything to your own advantage.

"Have you come back because you've found the royal seal?" Oikawa asked bitterly.

"Apologies, your _highness_ ," there was an inflection on the title Oikawa didn't appreciate too much, "but I'm afraid the paperwork with the seal is nowhere to be found, there's just so many papers and documents on my desk, it must be lost."

"Then it's official," Oikawa straightened up, "No attacks on this, or any other town. Does that sound doable to you, Lord Kageyama?"

Kageyama etched out a short bow, looking up at the prince with a small smile, "Of course, your highness. I'll await royal approval before any major action is taken."

Oikawa nodded and glanced around for one last look at his people, "I believe, wholeheartedly that Aoba Johsai and Seijoh will be able to come to an understanding. If not by the summer, then surely before the end of our lifetimes, we will see peace."

And that was it, the prince had said all he'd come to say. If there were any other objections, no one was voicing them anymore. Maybe he should have been concerned that Kageyama had agreed with him so readily, but Oikawa knew the longer he stayed, the more time his followers had to set their sights on him. He'd done all he could do, the prince had gotten Kageyama to concede in front of a couple hundred witnesses, it would have to be enough.

Stepping down from the table carefully, Oikawa made sure to avoid being corralled towards Kageyama as he made his way quickly through the doors. Pushing them open, fingers twitching nervously, the prince barely made it five feet before he felt someone crash into him.

Panic gripped Oikawa and he violently shoved the person off him, reaching back to grip the handle of the short sword still attached to his back.

"Whoa, hey, you ok?"

Oikawa blinked and looked at the messy head of pink hair set above a familiar, concerned face. His fingers released the short sword, making it slide back into its scabbard.

"Maki?" Oikawa asked, taking deep breathes to steady his heaving chest and shoving the man back, "Gods, you nearly gave me a heart attack."

Hanamaki grinned, wrapping his arms around the prince, careful to avoid the bandaged side, "Holy fuck, it's good to see you."

Oikawa awkwardly patted the pink hair, "It's good to see you too, but how'd you know where I was?"

Not that he wasn't happy to see his friend, he was actually so relieved he felt like he could collapse. Oikawa smiled and took in Hanamaki's aura with his newfound sight. It was lovely, for lack of a better word. The colors moved, slow and steady, like the waves of an ocean.

It made sense to Oikawa, Hanamaki never truly seemed flustered or out of sorts with the world. He was the type of person that took everything life had to throw at him and asked if that was all it had to give him. Oikawa sometimes wished he had that calm, self-assured demeanor to keep him together at times.

Hanamaki pulled back and nudged Oikawa to begin moving in a certain direction, "Iwaizumi found us on the way to that town by the river and told us where you were."

"Of course he did," Oikawa muttered. As much as he hated to admit it, Oikawa was glad Iwaizumi had gone looking for the others instead of going back to Rinta's like the prince had asked. Oikawa's thoughts about being ambushed flew out the window now that he had Hanamaki next to him.

Granted, they could still be ambushed even with Hanamaki, but Oikawa had a feeling it would make the attackers think twice.

"Hey, you ok?" Hanamaki asked, eyes flitting over the prince, lingering on his arm, tucked up against his chest, "Iwaizumi said you'd gotten banged up, but fuck, tell me you still have an arm under there."

"Why? You afraid you're going to have to hold my dick for me when I take a piss?" Oikawa grinned.

"That wouldn't happen even if you had _no_ arms," Hanamaki chuckled before his face fell into something more serious, "No, I'm just concerned. Can't I be worried about you?"

Oikawa glanced at Hanamaki who was refusing to look at the prince, staring ahead to wherever they were headed.

"Of course you can, Maki," Oikawa murmured.

"Well, good. 'Cause I was going to do it whether you liked it or not," Hanamaki pursed his lips.

Oikawa smiled softly and looked up to where Hanamaki was leading him.

"Oh, holy shit," Oikawa exclaimed, looking at the most beautiful four-legged creature he'd ever seen in his life, "You are officially my new favorite person, Maki-chan."

Hanamaki smirked, reaching up to grip the reins of his own horse, "Yeah I've been told I'm pretty fucking great."

"You are," Oikawa agreed, putting his foot in the stirrup and hoisting himself up onto the horse, so grateful to be off his feet for once that he was momentarily speechless.

"I'm never taking you for granted ever again," Oikawa whispered to his horse, petting her mane and giving her a one-armed squeeze.

Hanamaki watched the prince with a raised eyebrow, following Oikawa whenever he was done doting on his horse.

"So, um," Hanamaki started, staring at the reins in his hands, "what happened at the river? Kyōtani said it looked like someone got shot, but he couldn't tell who it was and when he saw you guys go over the waterfall, he lost sight of you."

Oikawa rubbed the back of his hand against his forehead. It seemed like the waterfall happened a whole lifetime ago when in reality, it hadn't even been a week. So much had happened, Oikawa wasn't even sure where to begin.

"First, tell me what happened after we went over," Oikawa said, deciding that story would probably take less time than his.

Hanamaki scratched his head in thought and told him how Kyōtani had ran back to them, saying he'd seen the prince and Iwaizumi fall over the waterfall. Matsukawa had sent Watari, Kyōtani, and Yahaba to the cliff to see if they could find a way down while the rest of them began getting their horses ready to ride again, wet clothes or not.

They had started out racing with the horses, but when the sun started to set on the first day, they decided to rein it in for the next few days to keep from overworking the poor creatures. According to Hanamaki, no one had slept well that first night. They'd all seemed to have this prickling on the back of their necks, making them feel like they were being watched.

Hanamaki would catch Matsukawa glancing around nervously in the dark, fiddling with the knife in his hands. Kyōtani was so worked up, he paced the campsite the entire time, barely sitting down at all. Even Kunimi sat with his back against a tree, looking for all the world like he was sleeping, but Hanamaki could see his eyes open at the smallest sound. So, yeah, sleep had been hard.

Next few days were pretty much the same after that, they woke before the sun and didn't stop until well after it had set, always looking at the cliff in the distance from the corner of their eyes until it was little more than a steep hill.

They flew through the forest until Iwaizumi had appeared seemingly out of thin fucking air, nearly making everyone jump out of their skin and telling them Oikawa was at a military camp a few miles off track. Hanamaki had volunteered to be the one to bring him back, and here he was.

"Now, your turn," Hanamaki said, shifting to look at Oikawa in his saddle, "What the fuck happened to you guys?"

"That's a loaded fucking question, Maki," Oikawa muttered.

The prince started the story with finding out the arrow was poisoned and having to drag Iwaizumi through all these miles of forest to get to this town. He told Hanamaki about Rinta and how she helped them both. Oikawa left out a few events that he felt weren't particularly important to the story, such as getting the shit kicked out of him that first day, making out with Iwaizumi in the forest, and getting blackout drunk. Hanamaki didn't need to know all that.

When he started talking about the Seven Elementals and the Warriors of Seijoh, Oikawa was surprised to find out Hanamaki already knew most of it.

"Wait," Oikawa said, unhappily, "How is it that you know more about this than me?"

Hanamaki smirked, "Besides the fact that I'm just better?"

Oikawa shot the man a look and Hanamaki chuckled.

"Ok, ok. Well, I guess it's because I've actually read all the books about Seijoh's myths and lore. You remember when I tried to talk to you about it?"

"Maki, you started talking about dragons and elves," Oikawa pursed his lips, "How was I supposed to take you seriously?"

"And just after the elves, I would have told you about the Elementals and the Warriors, but _someone_ has no patience."

"Whatever," Oikawa said dismissively before continuing his narrative.

At the mention of Rinta giving him the Elemental Weapons, Hanamaki's eyes flitted over the sword on his back and he grumbled, "Tell me you didn't."

Oikawa twisted his mouth to the side, "Would it make you feel better if I said I was being choked to death by Kageyama and I had no choice?"

"It actually would not," Hanamaki said.

"Well, everyone's still alive now, so I guess we can put it down in the win column."

"You're an actual dumbass, you know that?" Hanamaki scolded him.

"So I've been told," Oikawa mumbled.

"So, what?" Hanamaki asked, "You're an Elemental now? How's that going to work? You realize the Elementals are like Seijoh's nobility, right? You're not even supposed to be near those weapons, let alone own them."

"I don't know how this is going to work, ok?" Oikawa snapped, "We'll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it."

Hanamaki fell silent for most of the ride back into town. He listened to the rest of the prince's story, but if he had any other objections, he didn't voice them. The silence made Oikawa nervous.

With the town drawing near, Oikawa stopped talking and watched it come closer. He hadn't even been away from Iwaizumi for more than a few hours and already, he was starting to feel on edge. Oikawa wasn't a fan of the subtle co-dependency tendencies, but if it meant he got to see Iwaizumi again, he could ignore it for just a little while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone says anything, let me just say that I was so fucking close to not posting this today because I was so unhappy with it. I've only gotten the chance to go through it like twice and I just barely got the word count over 7,000. I'm so disappointed, you have no idea.
> 
> Finally, we get Hanamaki back! I missed him so much. I love that little unemployed bastard.
> 
> Ok, the quote in here was when Iwaizumi was talking to Oikawa about labels and definitions. It's a tumblr quote so don't come for me.
> 
> "I'm having a conversation with one of my friends and I ask him, "What defines you?" and he responded with, "Nothing. A definition excludes the possibility for change."
> 
> This is one of the best responses I've ever received to any of my questions." -caramelgoddessxo (tumblr)
> 
> So, yeah not exactly the same thing, but it's where I got the inspiration and I think about it at least once a week.
> 
> Ok guys, I'm sorry about this whole thing and I wish I was able to write beautiful and eloquent shit in a matter of hours, but I am a mere mortal with dreams of divinity and I'm going to need those two weeks in between. 
> 
> As always, I'm so glad you guys are here, even if you don't comment, it's wild that everyday I get more and more hits on this thing. I see you guys and love you too lol!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Describing Tenko: Don't say evil twin. Don't say evil twin. Don't say evil twin.
> 
> Whispers quietly while typing: Evil twin.
> 
> If you see a reference to "I hate to see 'em go, but I love to watch 'em leave," no tf you didn't.
> 
> I started re-reading this whole thing from chapter one and does anyone else get super embarrassed reading their own stuff or is that just me?
> 
> Yay! I finished this one extra early and had all this time to make it good for you guys. I actually kind of like this one. It's a little slower, so if you guys were wanting your break, this is about as good as it's going to get haha!

Turning away from Oikawa to send him into that camp was simultaneously the hardest and easiest thing Iwaizumi had ever done.

It was difficult to leave him after having just gotten him back. Between Oikawa wandering off on his own from Rinta's and seeing him looking at the raven with stranger's eyes, Iwaizumi had honestly thought he'd lost him for good. It was nothing short of a miracle that Oikawa was able to pull himself back and Iwaizumi wasn't about to forget it any time soon.

He wished he could though. Iwaizumi wished he could forget what it felt like to realize the person standing in front of him wasn't Tooru. Instead, it was something pulled fresh from his nightmares. It was all the terrible things Iwaizumi thought about himself given shape and sentience.

It was a sickening feeling, facing that. A feeling so real, Iwaizumi could have puked. The ground had opened up underneath him, putting his stomach in his throat and knocking his feet out from under him. Nothing could have prepared Iwaizumi for that.

The relief of having Oikawa back didn't come easy to Iwaizumi either. Some part of him was still struggling to accept it, thrashing around and trying to convince the rest of him that this was only temporary. It tried to tell him Oikawa could disappear again at the drop of a hat and Iwaizumi could do nothing about it.

It was a small part of him, but it was a loud one.

Iwaizumi chose to walk behind the brunette in an effort to shut the voice up. He watched Oikawa like a hawk, waiting for something, anything to convince himself of either one or the other.

Nothing ever happened.

Oikawa was tired and snippy, but Iwaizumi figured that was par for the course when your soul gets shoved out, thrown back in, and you release your energy for the first time. All that in a matter of a couple hours was bound to leave a mark, physically and mentally.

Tired and snippy though he was, Iwaizumi couldn't deny it was Oikawa. Not with the way he had demanded to return to that camp like the snot nosed kid he remembered.

It was hard to watch him go, but it was easy to let him leave.

It was a simple choice because, for the first time, Iwaizumi stopped seeing Oikawa as the small child he used to be. The boy who had squealed at the sight of 'creepy' bugs was only there in the raven's memory now. Instead of being the bubbly boy begging to be hoisted on Iwaizumi's sturdier shoulders for a chance at grasping the better fruits in the trees, Oikawa was now his own person. Always had been, Iwaizumi supposed, only now it was obvious enough that even the raven couldn't deny it. Oikawa was a fully grown adult who had lived more years _without_ Iwaizumi than he had _with_ him.

When it came down to the core reason it had been easy to let him go, it was because Iwaizumi believed with all his heart, no matter what happened at that camp, Oikawa would come back to him. As he always had.

Iwaizumi bit his lip as he smiled down at the ground like an idiot. Maybe Oikawa wasn't the only one with blind faith.

The raven decided before he even parted ways with Oikawa that he wouldn't be heading straight for Rinta's. He had one small thing to do before making his way over there.

If he knew anything about Matsukawa (and unfortunately for them both, he did), Iwaizumi knew which way he would take through the forest.

Taking his time and testing out the odd buzzing in his body, Iwaizumi started on the path that would eventually lead him to the others.

Iwaizumi's body felt different, but he couldn't exactly describe how. The most obvious things were his improved vision and hearing. He wasn't sure about his other three senses, but if he had to guess, those were far better now too. His veins felt like they contained sparks, like lightening was poured into him. His limbs felt lighter, like if he wanted to, he could jump ten feet off the ground.

Iwaizumi looked down at his bare wrist, flexing it and turning it over. His Elemental side was still muted, thanks to his other bracelet, but Iwaizumi was pretty sure some of it was starting to bleed through. He could tell because the forest felt... _more_ now.

It felt like Iwaizumi could sense where every rock and tree was, like he felt every dip and curve of the earth under his feet. The air felt sharper, more alive. Iwaizumi took deep breaths to feel the air cleansing his lungs.

If this was just his Warrior side and only a small taste of the Elemental, Iwaizumi wasn't sure he'd survive taking off his other bracelet.

"Fuck," Iwaizumi whispered, threading a hand through his unkempt hair.

He wasn't sure how he was still alive right now.

After leaving Tooru when they were twelve, Iwaizumi had started running fevers nearly every day. His body temperature had skyrocketed and the only thing his family could do to keep his brain from boiling was to bring him into the mountains. Iwaizumi stayed there, with nothing but the melting puddles of snow at his feet to keep him company while his people worked on a more permanent solution.

They were finally able to make bracelets for his dual nature and had to hold him down while they heated and shaped them around his wrists. The searing heat had managed to break through Iwaizumi's own body temperature, making him scream and twist away violently. Hands protected by gloves had to hold him down while they worked quickly to inscribe the runes and shape them to his wrists using metal tools. The burning skin was the last thing his body was able to heal before being drained of energy.

So when Iwaizumi had felt that familiar heat coursing through his body, he thought he was truly done for. He would've shove Oikawa off to keep the prince from being burned if he'd had control over his body. Sadly, he had done nothing but make it worse, crushing Oikawa's arm like that.

The burning had just been so strong. It was so much worse than when he was a kid. It scalded his lungs and blackened his veins. It even evaporated his tears before they could fall.

It was a sea of flames Iwaizumi had found himself lost in and the only thing he could hear was the sound of his own name rising above the crackle of his own body.

And suddenly, Iwaizumi could breathe. Like a bucket of water dashed over a campfire, Iwaizumi could feel the tendrils of energy blink out as he was filled with...something else.

Something he couldn't quite grasp, despite being overflowing with it. Iwaizumi had no idea how to describe that feather light brush of everything all at once.

Iwaizumi had felt calm. It was fierce, it was peace, it was a taste of divinity.

It's how he felt when he looked into an endless night sky and let the wonder of the stars captivate him and hold him a willing hostage.

It's how he felt running breathless off a cliff and diving into a crystal clear lake.

It was the feeling at the very apex of the jump, where time slowed and he was invincible, with the whole world at his feet.

It filled him and yet he craved more. It touched every part of Iwaizumi and pushed back against the flood of fire, reining it in and containing it to the smallest section.

Walking through the forest, Iwaizumi could still feel the faint tinges of that foreign feeling on the edge of his being. It was all Oikawa's doing, he was sure of it. Only, Iwaizumi wasn't sure what that idiot had done to him now.

Speaking of what Oikawa had done to him. Oh, he could have throttled that bastard when he kicked Iwaizumi's irritation into overdrive like that. He'd had to dig his hands into the dirt to keep them from choking the life out of the prince.

Thankfully, that anger was long gone and now he just had to wait for the other feeling to fade as well.

Apparently, the distance wasn't helping.

Frowning down at the ground like that, even with his enhanced senses, it was still a wonder Iwaizumi heard the group coming at all. The raven looked up in time to see Matsukawa and Hanamaki riding their horses next to each other, heads bent and discussing something intensely.

At the same time, the pair happened to look up at Iwaizumi and all of them stopped in their tracks.

"Oh, holy fuck," Matsukawa was the quickest to recover as he swung a leg over the horse and slid down to the ground, "Iwaizumi? Is that you?"

"Who the hell else would it be, Matsun?" Iwaizumi grinned, relieved at the sight of familiar faces and pulled the lanky raven in for a tight hug.

"Ow, Iwaizumi, fuck," Matsukawa winced, slapping the shorter man on the back to make him let go, "I know you missed me, but try not to crush me you fucking gorilla."

"Shit," Iwaizumi mumbled, releasing Matsukawa and running a hand through his hair in mild embarrassment. He was probably a lot stronger then he realized now.

"Where's the prince?" Hanamaki said, interrupting their reunion and glancing back the way Iwaizumi had come, hoping to catch a glimpse of the brunette.

Iwaizumi hesitated, thinking it was a long story and he wasn't sure where to begin. Hanamaki read his hesitation differently.

"Iwaizumi, where's Oikawa?" Hanamaki growled. The sound of his voice caused Matsukawa to turn slightly and raise his eyebrows at the pink-haired man.

"He's ok," Iwaizumi rushed to explain, keeping his bare wrist down for the moment. He didn't want his people getting side-tracked with him. Not while Oikawa was still at that camp with no reinforcements.

"It's a long story, but he's at an Aoba Johsai military camp a few miles that way," Iwaizumi used his other hand to point in the direction. He looked back at Hanamaki, "He's actually a little injured, so do you mind helping him out?"

Iwaizumi didn't think Oikawa actually needed the help, but he'd be damned if he didn't give it anyways.

"You just left him? Why isn't he with you?" Hanamaki snapped.

"He didn't want me there, what was I supposed to do?" Iwaizumi bit back, unhappy this was taking so long.

"Stay with him!" Hanamaki exclaimed, making his horse restless underneath him.

"Ok, ok," Matsukawa lifted his hands and stepped between the two, "everyone calm down."

"If you're so worried about him, why don't you get your ass over there already?" Iwaizumi said, ignoring Matsukawa and gesturing to the pink-haired man still on his horse.

"If you think he needs help, why'd you leave him in the first place?" Hanamaki seethed, gripping his reins.

"Both of you shut it!" Matsukawa shouted, clapping his hands together to get their attention.

"Yahaba, give Maki the reins for Oikawa's horse," Matsukawa waved the younger over, not happy with being set in the mediator role. Hanamaki snatched the reins from Yahaba's hands, earning him a quizzical stare from the younger.

"We'll see you when you bring him back, yeah?" Matsukawa's voice interrupted Hanamaki's glare at Iwaizumi.

"Yeah, fine. Later," Hanamaki grumbled, pulling his reins to turn both horses and trot off in the direction Iwaizumi had pointed.

Watching the pink-haired man disappear through the trees, Iwaizumi felt his body release a small amount of tension.

"You good?" Matsukawa nudged Iwaizumi's shoulder, making the shorter man look at him, "You don't normally snap at people like that."

Iwaizumi gripped his bare wrist behind his back and frowned, "Yeah, I'm good. I just didn't want to waste time talking."

Matsukawa hummed, not taking his eyes off Iwaizumi as the shorter raven reached for his horse. Iwaizumi smiled softly as he let his horse sniff at him, petting her between the eyes and sliding his hand down her neck affectionately.

"Stop staring, Matsun. It's creeping me out," Iwaizumi grumbled, not turning around until he realized Matsukawa wasn't saying anything. Looking over his shoulder, Iwaizumi sighed, "I'm fine, let's just get to town."

Matsukawa waited only a couple more heartbeats before pursing his lips and pulling himself back up on his horse.

They rode in silence for approximately twenty seconds before Kyōtani turned and asked like he'd been holding it in for weeks, "So, what happened since the waterfall?"

"I'll tell you," Iwaizumi paused and raised his eyebrows in warning, "but I'm not answering any fucking questions until I'm done."

Kyōtani nodded and so did everyone else.

Well, everyone except Matsukawa and Kunimi. Matsukawa didn't nod because he wasn't making any such deals and Kunimi because there wasn't anything he wanted to say anyways.

The retelling was going smoothly until Iwaizumi mentioned Rinta giving Oikawa the Elemental weapons and Matsukawa nearly fell off his saddle turning around so fast.

"She did _what_?" Matsukawa scrambled to sit upright and stare at Iwaizumi, "She can't just do that, can she? Why would she give him those?"

Iwaizumi glared at Matsukawa, refusing to answer any of his questions, just like he said he would.

"Oh, fuck you, Iwaizumi," Matsukawa hissed, turning back around to mumble to himself, "Dropping shit on us like that, I can't believe you."

Iwaizumi waited while Matsukawa seethed less than silently to himself before the taller raven sighed dramatically and waved a hand telling Iwaizumi to continue.

When he told them how Oikawa had drawn and bonded with the weapons, Matsukawa grit his teeth so hard Iwaizumi swore he heard his jaw creak from several feet away. At least this time he didn't interrupt.

Unbeknownst to Iwaizumi, his retelling of the story was remarkably similar to the prince's. He had left out the more personal bits and skimmed over his injuries, since there was none to speak of anymore. He was wrapping up, telling them how Oikawa had gone off by himself to the camp and how Iwaizumi had come across them.

"And, uh," Iwaizumi pressed the inside of his bare wrist with his thumb, "There's one more thing, but I don't want you guys freaking out about it."

All eyes tilted curiously to him and Iwaizumi bit the inside of his lip as he raised his hand to eye level, giving everyone an unobstructed view of his unadorned wrist.

The people from Seijoh all sucked in a collective breath and stared at the bare wrist while Kunimi and Yahaba looked at his arm blankly.

Yahaba leaned closer and whispered to Kyōtani, "Was that bracelet like a family heirloom or something?"

Kyōtani shushed him, making Yahaba frown and reach across to tug at a strap on the blonde's belt. Kyōtani swore and fumbled for his sword as it almost fell to the ground, shooting Yahaba a deadly glare.

Matsukawa took it upon himself to address the elephant in the room, ignoring the two juniors on the verge of war.

"So," Matsukawa drawled slowly, "how do you feel? Any fevers? Spasms? Odd vibrations? Cold spots?"

Iwaizumi lowered his hand, gripping the reins in front of him, "I already told you, I'm fine."

There was a round of disbelieving glances and Iwaizumi raised his voice, "I said I'm fine," he glanced down at his wrist and mumbled, "It seems to be working now, for whatever reason."

"Yeah, so far," Matsukawa hummed, following Iwaizumi's eyes down to his hand, "There were plenty of days when we were kids that you were fine too."

Matsukawa raised his eyes to Iwaizumi's, "Until you weren't."

Iwaizumi dropped his voice to talk to the taller raven, not wanting to make the younger ones worry any more than they already were, "I'm fine now, that's what's important. There's no point being worried about something that might not happen."

Glancing around at the curious looks being thrown their way, Matsukawa pulled on the reins to his horse, bringing him to walk beside Iwaizumi and tilting his head to offer more privacy.

"But it could still happen. They put those bracelets on you to protect you, Iwaizumi," Matsukawa looked at the man next to him with raised eyebrows, "They were there to protect you from yourself and the people on the council who still want to use you as our country's personal attack dog."

Matsukawa sighed at the look on Iwaizumi's face and continued, "Good job not burning yourself to death, but now we have to worry about the council."

"I know, Matsun," Iwaizumi grumbled, "I know what this means."

Iwaizumi ran a hand through his hair, "We'll just have to get Saeko to make me a fake one."

"You're out of your fucking mind if you think she doesn't have rats in her workshop," Matsukawa hissed.

"Saeko wouldn't sell us out, you know that," Iwaizumi murmured.

"No, but they're not stupid, Iwaizumi. How's she supposed to explain how she's making a bracelet that looks identical to one of yours?" Matsukawa asked.

Iwaizumi had no answer and Matsukawa groaned, running a hand down his face, "You couldn't have just waited for us in that town, could you?"

"Don't you dare try and blame this on me," Iwaizumi pointed in the general direction of the military camp behind them, "The dumbass you want is that way."

"Yeah, no," Matsukawa shook his head, "Not my dumbass, not my problem."

"Then shut it, because I don't want to hear it," Iwaizumi grumbled.

Matsukawa sighed and looked up ahead where the clearing for the town was coming into view.

"Just let Rinta take a look at you, ok?" Matsukawa asked softly.

Iwaizumi pursed his lips, but nodded his head stiffly.

Leaving the horses in the stables, Iwaizumi led the group to Rinta's house, politely knocking on the door until it opened.

To Rinta's credit, she only looked a little shocked to see all the people on her doorstep. Opening the door wider, she gestured inside, watching everyone shuffle quietly past her.

When her eyes landed on Iwaizumi, Rinta squinted and tilted her head slightly, eyes flitting about the air around him. Iwaizumi felt Matsukawa nudge him forward and he shot the man a warning glare.

"What happened?" Rinta whispered, reading something Iwaizumi couldn't see.

Swallowing, Iwaizumi tentatively brought his hand in front of him, showing her its lack of metal.

"Oh," Rinta gasped, reaching out to touch his wrist, hesitating at the last second, "How?"

"Oikawa's an idiot," Iwaizumi grumbled, earning himself a slap to the back of his hand. Snatching his hand back, Iwaizumi twisted his mouth to the side, "Well, it's true. Can't imagine any of this happening if it wasn't for him."

"Where is he?" Rinta asked worriedly, eyes flicking behind the group and out the door she still had open, waiting for the gathering to be complete.

"He's fine, Rinta. Damn near killed us both, but he's more or less ok now," Iwaizumi told her, pulling the door out of her grasp and shutting it behind him.

"He's ok?" Rinta pushed a hand over her chest and looked up at Iwaizumi, bottom lip between her teeth.

"Yeah, he is," Iwaizumi said softly, reaching out a hand to land on her shoulder.

Rinta's face relaxed in relief and she patted Iwaizumi's hand, "Aren't you glad I was right about him?"

"Yeah, about that," Iwaizumi pulled back, allowing Rinta to move past him and lead them all into the kitchen where she started pulling out food for everyone, "How about next time we give life-altering tools to people, we all just sit down and talk about it first?"

Rinta paused and glanced over at the raven, eyebrows raised.

"What?" Iwaizumi frowned down at her, raising his own eyebrows.

Rinta shrugged, a small smile on her face, "Nothing. Just never thought you'd be the one suggesting a nice long talk."

Matsukawa chuckled behind Iwaizumi, making the shorter raven dig an elbow into his ribs.

Wincing and rubbing at the spot, Matsukawa grinned at Rinta, "You mind taking a look at this guy and making sure he's not seconds away from a literal meltdown?"

Rinta glanced at Iwaizumi and nodded, wiping her hands on a towel. Yahaba and Kindaichi moved in behind her and picked up the food she had been preparing. Rinta gave them a small smile in thanks and grasped Iwaizumi's arm to lead him into the room he and Oikawa had shared for the last few days.

It was odd being back in here and seeing how little had changed. It was just how they had left it, covers on the bed a mess, empty glass cup beside the bed, the wooden chair at an odd angle in the middle of the room. It reminded Iwaizumi that no matter how many lifetimes he felt like he'd been through, it had only been about a day since he was last here.

"Sit," Rinta pointed to the bed.

Iwaizumi obeyed, grumbling, "You can't do this out there?"

"No," Rinta answered, matter-of-fact. She moved the chair and sat on it, facing Iwaizumi, "It's been a while for me, so I need to concentrate to see your energy field."

Iwaizumi sighed and waited patiently while Rinta watched him. Her eyes hovered just outside the outline of his body and Iwaizumi was reminded of the way Oikawa had looked at him right after he had come back to himself.

"What's it look like?" Iwaizumi whispered, "The auras. What do they look like?"

Rinta hummed, still concentrating, "Everyone's looks different, some can look similar, but no one's is exactly the same."

"But mine's pretty average, isn't it?" Iwaizumi asked quietly, "I mean, it's nothing too special, right?"

Rinta's eyes flickered to the raven's face for a moment before going back to her task.

"Can't really say," Rinta said, squinting at the air, "It's unique in its own way."

Iwaizumi furrowed his brow and whispered, "Because of the things you had to do to it?"

Rinta's concentration broke for a moment as she looked down at her hands, twisting around themselves in her lap. She looked back up and sniffed, rubbing at her thighs to stop her hands from fidgeting.

"I hated doing it just as much as you did," Rinta said, her voice lowering to match Iwaizumi's.

"Can he tell?" Iwaizumi breathed, looking at a spot on the wall behind Rinta, "When he looks at my aura, can he tell some of me is missing?"

Rinta chewed her lip and furrowed her brow, "None of you is missing, Iwaizumi. It's just harder to get to, you know this. You know we had to do it to keep the energy at bay while you were young."

"I know," Iwaizumi said, flexing his fingers, "I know, I just didn't like the way it made me feel sometimes."

******

_It had been pure coincidence that Rinta had seen Iwaizumi as a baby and noticed his glaring aura._

_The Seven had been called to a meeting in Center City and Rinta was running late. Well, to be honest, she hadn't wanted to go anyways. She hated the city with its noise and crowds. Hated the scholars that hounded her with questions the most. Anywhere she went, Rinta always took the least populated route to avoid as many issues as she could._

_Which was why she was surprised to hear a squalling baby in the empty corridors. Rinta rounded the corner and saw the parents cooing at the child, trying to lull him back to sleep. They looked up apologetically when they saw Rinta hesitating at the corner._

_"Sorry," the mother said, bags visible under her tired eyes, "Sometimes he quiets down when we walk, but it looks like a bad day."_

_Rinta could barely see the child in her hands through the radiating aura. It was blinding, easily the brightest she had ever seen and it caused her to squint._

_"Is he ok?" Rinta asked, concerned. Typically, auras were only as strong as the bodies themselves and to see one so bright in someone so young, Rinta just had to ask._

_"He's, uh-," in the parent's exhaustion, Rinta didn't blame them for not noticing until just now. Their gazes fell on the sword at her back and they shared owlish glances before the father spoke back up, "We don't want to trouble you, ma'am. I'm sure he'll quiet down soon."_

_Rinta looked again at that blinding aura, "Is he running fevers a lot?"_

_The parents straightened in surprise and glanced at the baby in the mother's arms. They nodded slightly._

_Rinta moved closer to get a better look and squinted through the glare. It was a baby, alright. He looked just like every other baby Rinta had seen, nothing extraordinary about him except his out of control energy field._

_"May I?" Rinta held up a hand and glanced up at the parents. They nodded her on and the mother held out the boy to give her better access._

_The closer Rinta's hand got to the child's aura, the more she had to grit her teeth._

_Oh, this poor child, having to endure this feeling constantly._

_"His aura's out of control," Rinta said, glancing up at the parents who were watching raptly, "Is there a reason for this?"_

_The parents shared small glances and shuffled their feet. The mother spoke to Rinta quietly, "They say he's supposed to be a Warrior."_

_Rinta furrowed her brow and glanced at the father who was nodding. Rinta looked back to the woman, "That's impossible. The last Warrior died over a thousand years ago."_

_The pair shrugged and glanced at the baby, "The council seems to have found a way to track the descendants and they said he's the real thing," the father ran a light finger around the baby's forehead, "We just can't seem to help him."_

_Rinta looked down again. Listening harder now, she was able to hear how hoarse the child's voice sounded. Just how long had he been screaming like this?_

_"Would it be ok if I tried to help?"_

_Both parents looked at each other before nodding._

_"If you think there's something you can do, yes," the mother held the child closer to her chest, "He's not eating and he's barely been sleeping, anything at all would help."_

_Rinta chewed her lip in thought. She'd never tried to alter an aura so wild before. She was positive she had the technique. After four years, she was approaching the limits her own spirit could take, but in exchange, her grasp on the element was firm._

_Placing both hands on either side of the baby's head, Rinta closed her eyes and felt for the edge of the vibrating field. Her fingers brushed it and she pushed it in, using the scraps of the child's left over soul to keep it from overflowing._

_The screaming lessened and Rinta opened her eyes to look down at the hiccupping child, blinking up at her with light green eyes. Ok, maybe he was a cute kid._

_The aura pulsed and wavered, trapped for the time being and the baby's body began to cool in the light breeze._

_At the sight of her child's open eyes, the mother sighed in relief and looked up at Rinta, "Thank you so much."_

_Rinta nodded and almost turned to continue on to the meeting thinking how pissed the others would be that they had to wait on her for so long. Two steps away and something just didn't feel right. Rinta looked back to see the dimmed aura waver and flicker the slightest bit._

_"It's not permanent," Rinta said, making the parents look over at her, "All I did was compress it so it's not effecting his body. It's still there and it'll come back every so often."_

_The father looked at the child worriedly, "But you can help him though, right? We just need to find you again?"_

_Rinta hesitated because yes, she could do this every now and then, but truthfully, there was no way of knowing the effects this kind of treatment would put on his body as he grew older. This wasn't just calming someone down or easing their anxiety. This was wide spread suppression of nearly everything._

_"There needs to be a more permanent solution," Rinta shuffled on her feet, "but yes, I can help whenever he starts having fevers again. Just until you find a better way."_

_The parents nodded eagerly and thanked her again. Rinta was almost to the end of the corridor when a thought occurred to her and she turned back._

_"What are your names?"_

_The father smiled and said, "Iwaizumi."_

_The mother tilted the child in her arms, adding, "And this is Hajime."_

_Rinta huffed a small laugh and smiled back at the two, "Fitting."_

******

Looking at Iwaizumi now, Rinta was flooded with guilt. They hadn't realized until much later exactly how much Rinta'd had to suppress in order to keep Iwaizumi from being hurt. Even now, his aura hadn't fully recovered from what she'd had to do.

"I'm sorry," Rinta murmured softly.

Iwaizumi clenched his hands in his lap, "Yeah, I know. It's not your fault."

Silence spread between them until Rinta spoke back up, "Can I take a look at you now?"

Iwaizumi sighed and nodded.

Swallowing thickly, Rinta raised her eyes to look at Iwaizumi's aura, checking it for anything out of the ordinary.

"Oh," Rinta lightly gasped, surprised.

After waiting a few seconds in silence, Iwaizumi lifted an eyebrow and parroted, "Oh?"

Rinta cocked her head and rubbed at her eyes, making sure she wasn't seeing things.

"Well, it looks like there's already something in place, keeping the Warrior's energy away from everything else," Rinta hummed, squinting to get a better look at it. Despite being so close to the weapons for years, she hadn't touched them for over a decade and her control was rusty at best.

Iwaizumi groaned. What did Oikawa do to him now?

"Is it safe?" Iwaizumi asked nervously. He felt physically fine, but he'd been through an emotional ride from hell in the past few days, so it was possible he was only hanging on by a thread and was just in denial about it.

"It looks pretty sound," Rinta pulled her bottom lip between her fingers in thought, "Did Tooru do this?"

Flicking her eyes to his, she saw Iwaizumi shrug, "I don't know. I'm sure he did something, but I didn't stop and ask him exactly what."

"It looks good," Rinta murmured, sitting back in her chair.

"But, I don't-," Iwaizumi paused, trying to explain the way this felt different than when Rinta had fixed him, "It's different than yours, right?"

Rinta furrowed her brow and pulled at her lip again, "The way I did it suppressed everything along with the Warrior and Elemental energy, but Tooru's managed to single out the Warrior and contain it by itself."

Rinta went quiet for a little longer before coming back to the conversation a hand, "I think it looks stable enough for the foreseeable future. You should be fine."

Iwaizumi nodded, "Good."

Rinta nodded and they both stood up to join the others in the bustling kitchen.

***

Waiting for Oikawa and Hanamaki was painful.

Iwaizumi was glad to see everyone again, but waiting around had never been his strongest trait. After being forced out of the kitchen for pacing, Matsukawa took it one step further and kicked Iwaizumi out of the whole house.

"Iwaizumi, stop wearing holes in the fucking floor," Matsukawa shouted at him from his seat in the kitchen. How that man knew Iwaizumi had been pacing, the raven would never know.

"Take that shit outside," Matsukawa grumbled, irritated, "Go for a run, take a shit in the woods, I don't care, just stop fucking pacing."

Muttering things that would make harden soldiers blush, Iwaizumi stomped out the door. Just before the door closed, Iwaizumi caught sight of Kyōtani and Watari falling in behind him.

"You don't have to come with me," Iwaizumi said to the pair.

"Matsukawa's setting me on edge too," Watari shrugged, scratching the back of his neck, "I just like the way you handle your nerves better."

"Thanks?" Iwaizumi said, hesitantly.

Watari shrugged again and continued following the raven.

Iwaizumi didn't know where he was going. His feet angled themselves, taking the trio around the back of the house and down a short, man-made pathway lined with different colored stones, each about twice the size of Iwaizumi's fist. The raven smiled softly, remembering how he had helped Rinta pick some of these stones out when he was a kid.

So, maybe he didn't have a full range of emotion when he was a kid. At least his childhood hadn't been completely empty. All thanks to the people he had in his life. Rinta being like an aunt to him despite no blood relation. Matsukawa being his friend, reminding him sometimes life wasn't all that serious. And Tooru being...the most welcoming enigma Iwaizumi had ever met.

At the end of the path, there was a large greenhouse. The windows were clouded with fog and Iwaizumi could see green blobs behind the glass, beckoning him.

"I was wondering where she got all those fresh fruits," Watari murmured, maybe making conversation, or maybe he just couldn't help point it out.

Iwaizumi nodded vaguely, not really paying attention as he pulled the door open.

The air inside was thick and warm, enclosing Iwaizumi in the smell of life. This...This was what he needed right now.

Iwaizumi could feel the harsh edge of his movements dull down and fade as he lightly touched the plants packed along the wall. Some hung down from the ceiling as well and Iwaizumi tilted his head to avoid them out of habit.

Kyōtani was frowning at the plants like he had been expecting something better in here. His honeyed gaze fell on an axe propped up against a wall and he grabbed it, gesturing with it as he spoke, "I'm chopping some wood for that lady in there."

"Her name's Rinta," Watari chastised lightly, earning a glare from the blonde.

"Like I care," Kyōtani growled.

Watari and Iwaizumi shared eye rolls at the other's expense. They both knew that no matter how bad the blonde's bark and bite were, when it came down to it, he was chopping wood to make himself helpful. Because he cared enough to be of use.

Though, if they pointed that out, Kyōtani was likely to snap at them and not do it at all.

"I'll help," Watari told him. Looking at Iwaizumi, Watari could tell the raven would like some time by himself in here. The elder looked like he wasn't paying much attention to them anyways.

Iwaizumi nodded, feeling the soft petals of a white lily under his fingertips. He heard the door open and shut, but he didn't take his eyes off the green surrounding him.

Everything about this place put Iwaizumi's mind and soul at ease. The warmth bled into his bones, chasing away the chill that had descended. The thickness of the air felt good too, draping across his body and blanketing him in soft breezes.

Here, there was no demanding presence, no friends watching him for the slightest falter in his footfalls, no council eyeing him suspiciously. It was just him. Just Iwaizumi and the blooming life.

The raven moved to the plants sitting atop tables, placed in the middle of the room. Lifting a hand, he lightly dug his fingers into the soil at the base of the plants. It was fresh soil, soft and fluffy, crumbling in his hand and slipping through his fingers.

This is what the color of Tooru's eyes meant to him. It was the color of the earth. It gave the world it's life, allowing the plants to take root and unfold, blooming and growing. It accepted the world's death too, embracing the things life had no use for anymore and turning it into something beautiful again.

Maybe it was morbid to think about death like that, but Iwaizumi found comfort in knowing everything his body was wouldn't be for nothing when it came time for him to leave it. That he still had more to give.

The door to the greenhouse opened again and Iwaizumi felt the cold air from outside ruffle his tattered shirt.

The longer the door was left open, the deeper Iwaizumi's crease grew until he grumbled, "Either get in or get out, you're letting all the warmth out."

The door fell shut slowly and Iwaizumi heaved a small sigh.

"Hey, Iwa."

Iwaizumi snapped his head up at the soft greeting, eyes landing on Oikawa, standing on the inside of the closed door in one piece and in no worse shape than when he had left Iwaizumi. With the exception of even bigger bags under his warm, brown eyes.

"Gods, Crappykawa," Iwaizumi rounded the table between them and looked closer at Oikawa's exhausted face, "What are you doing out here? You should be getting something to eat and resting."

A small, selfish part of Iwaizumi warmed at the thought of Oikawa coming to see him, but he was mostly worried for the prince's health. They'd both been awake for over a day now and Iwaizumi honestly couldn't remember the last thing they had eaten.

"Come on," Iwaizumi reached out to grab the brunette's shoulder and steer him towards the house when Oikawa threw his uninjured arm around the raven's neck and burrowed his head in Iwaizumi's shoulder. The movement caught the raven off guard and he stumbled, pulling Oikawa with him.

Righting them both, Iwaizumi tried to look at Oikawa, "You ok?"

The brunette nodded, face still pressed into the space between Iwaizumi's neck and shoulder.

Iwaizumi brought a hesitant hand up to ghost over Oikawa's back. Tilting his head, Iwaizumi murmured, "You need a minute?"

Oikawa nodded again, arm tightening around Iwaizumi's neck.

"Ok," Iwaizumi whispered, maneuvering both of them to the tables in the center, "Sit up here for me."

Iwaizumi helped the brunette sit on the table, holding him up by his good hand until the prince was settled. The raven looked up worriedly at Oikawa's face.

Iwaizumi wasn't concerned with what had happened at the military camp. The fact that Oikawa came back at all told him the prince was at least somewhat successful. No way Oikawa would have left without being reasonably sure they wouldn't attack.

So Iwaizumi wasn't worried about the camp. He was worried about Oikawa.

"Your aura looked really nice when I came in," Oikawa mumbled, voice thick with exhaustion, "What were you thinking about?"

A frown threatened to pull Iwaizumi's face down and the raven had to remind himself that he'd promised Oikawa the truth. No matter how much he wished the brunette would go back to a time when he couldn't see auras, Iwaizumi figured this was the price he paid for being so closed off all this time.

"I like it in here," Iwaizumi hummed, pulling Oikawa's wrapped hand towards him, "I like the warmth, I like the plants. It just feels good in here."

Oikawa blinked slowly at him, letting Iwaizumi unwrap the bandages on his arm and hand to get a look at the injury.

Iwaizumi clicked his tongue at whatever he saw and said, "Wait here for a second."

Oikawa was definitely not going anywhere. He couldn't move even if he tried.

The prince tilted his head to follow Iwaizumi as he made his way around the greenhouse, gathering things from the plants and putting them in a small bowl. Oikawa blinked his eyes and suddenly, Iwaizumi was pushing the bowl into his hands.

"Take this," Iwaizumi told him.

Oikawa stared down at the viscous liquid in the bowl, confused how it got there. He'd only closed his eyes for a moment.

Hadn't he?

Iwaizumi saw his hesitation and tapped the side of the bowl, "It's just a few painkillers. Nothing that'll make you feel off," Oikawa still didn't move to drink it so Iwaizumi added, "It's got honey in it for taste, if that's what you're worried about."

"I don't know if I actually stopped them, Iwa," Oikawa murmured softly, staring at the medicine in his hand.

"You tried, though," Iwaizumi shuffled in front of Oikawa, still perched on the edge of the table with his long legs hanging off, "that's really all you _can_ do."

"I could've done more," Oikawa's fingers tightened on the bowl, "I should've exposed Kageyama. Made everyone realize how twisted he is."

"You know the way he talks," Iwaizumi sighed, "He would've made it sound like you were the crazy one."

"I still could've tried," Oikawa mumbled.

Iwaizumi took a moment to look up at Oikawa's face. His heavy-lidded brown eyes were steady on the bowl in his hand and his forehead wore an intense crease in the center. Iwaizumi had a feeling that even if this man went inside, ate some food, and laid down, sleep would still be a long ways off.

"Everything's ok," Iwaizumi whispered, placing his hands on the table, framing Oikawa's thighs, "Even if they come, the people here are ready. Both of us have done all we can do and there's times when we have to realize there will always be things beyond our control."

Oikawa's frown deepened and Iwaizumi grazed his thumbs over the prince's thighs in an effort to soothe him.

"It doesn't mean we've failed," Iwaizumi murmured, "It doesn't mean we're useless. Sometimes things happen and the only thing we control is the way we react."

Oikawa sighed down at both the medicine and Iwaizumi, "I just have a bad feeling about this."

Iwaizumi tapped the bowl, "Drink this and tell me about it."

So Oikawa did. He tilted the bowl back and let the medicine slide pleasantly down his throat and into his empty stomach. Oikawa started with when he'd walked into the camp and how everyone had stared at him.

"Yeah, you're pretty tough to look at sometimes," Iwaizumi hummed, taking the empty bowl from the prince and setting it to the side.

"Mean, Iwa-chan," Oikawa mumbled back, too tired to do anything but smile faintly.

When he talked about how he'd had the bright idea to climb on the tables in the dining hall, Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and began rubbing a cooling salve on Oikawa's burns, kneading the appendage beneath his fingers.

"So dramatic," Iwaizumi whispered, tilting Oikawa's arm gently to make sure he could reach all the burns before beginning to re-wrap the wounds with actual bandages he had managed to find.

Sparing Iwaizumi a childish pout, Oikawa continued his story, filling the raven in on his people's reactions, both to the prince and Kageyama while Iwaizumi finished taking care of his arm.

"He's moving them with fear, Iwa," Oikawa sighed, leaning forward when Iwaizumi was done and sliding his arms around the raven's neck, pressing their foreheads together to whisper, "I don't know how to make them understand."

"You'll figure it out," Iwaizumi murmured, letting his hands fall back on the table next to the prince, "Knowing you, it'll be in some dumb, dramatic fashion."

Oikawa huffed a laugh and took a moment to just enjoy the close contact between them. It seemed like they hadn't had a chance to do this yet, to simply be near each other like this. To touch like this. Oikawa hated that he had to open his mouth and potentially ruin this moment.

"You're ok with this?" Oikawa whispered, tilting his head slightly against Iwaizumi's to indicate the closeness.

Iwaizumi pursed his lips and Oikawa felt his hands twitch against his thighs, but he didn't pull away.

"I'm still here, aren't I?" Iwaizumi grumbled, not necessarily unhappy.

"You're either ok with it or you're not," Oikawa leaned back to look at the raven's face, "Don't patronize me, Iwa. Not right now. Not about this."

Iwaizumi frowned as he tilted his head back to see the brunette's upset face, "We've both been awake for nearly thirty-six hours and we haven't eaten anything since before the bonfire. Both of us need food and rest, Oikawa. We can talk about this later. Come on."

The raven lightly tapped Oikawa's thigh and straightened up, feeling the prince's arms fall off his shoulders as he stepped back, expecting Oikawa to slide off the table.

Hands out, waiting for the brunette to take them, Iwaizumi looked up, confused at the lack of movement.

"Hey, come on," Iwaizumi repeated gently, beckoning his hands, "You need to take care of yourself first."

Oikawa frowned down at the offered hands, "Are you ok with it or not, Iwaizumi?"

Iwaizumi sighed, grumbling to himself, "This is so low on the list of priorities right now."

Oikawa didn't move to take the raven's hand and Iwaizumi groaned impatiently, "Look, I'm not avoiding the question. We can talk about this whenever you wake up, I swear. Just please," Iwaizumi gave the prince his best pleading look, "please come eat something and lay down."

There was a moment. An infuriatingly long moment when Iwaizumi didn't know whether Oikawa was going to let this go or not. Despite being awake for almost thirty-six hours, having an arm that was minorly fractured and burned, and having nothing in his stomach, Oikawa's iron will was as intact as ever. It burned bright in his tired eyes, boring into Iwaizumi's own pleading gaze, trying to make it crack and crumble.

For once, Iwaizumi was able to hold out. He told himself this was only temporary. He truly did want to talk more about whatever was going on between the two of them, but he needed Oikawa in his best frame of mind. Iwaizumi needed Oikawa's sharp wit and intelligence at its highest level when they talked about this because the raven didn't think he'd be able to get through everything he wanted to say with the prince being only halfway present.

Maybe he saw how serious Iwaizumi was, or maybe everything was finally catching up to him now that it had slowed down. Either way, Oikawa relented this one time.

The prince reluctantly slid the fingers of his good hand into Iwaizumi's waiting one, allowing himself to be guided down to the ground. Wobbling only a little, Oikawa pulled his hand back and brushed past Iwaizumi.

The raven let him go, following closely in case Oikawa stumbled. They passed Watari and Kyōtani talking over a large pile of chopped wood. Kyōtani's face was still lightly flushed from making the firewood as the pair glanced over at them. Their talking stopped when Oikawa and Iwaizumi walked by them. Sharing a glance, they wordlessly followed the pair back down into the house.

They came inside, kicked off their boots, and walked into the kitchen to find a busy room, filled with people and chatter.

Hanamaki glanced up at Oikawa's arrival, but continued his conversation with Matsukawa and Kindaichi over empty plates of food. Yahaba moved to stand out of respect, but was waved away by a tired Oikawa who offered him a small smile. Kyōtani scoffed at the smaller brunette and Yahaba sent the blonde a withering look before sitting back down.

Kunimi silently slid a full plate of food over to Oikawa as he sat down heavily at the table. The prince looked up gratefully at the younger before slowly beginning to eat.

Iwaizumi watched Oikawa's first few tentative bites become hefty mouthfuls when he realized how hungry his body was. Making sure the prince was well on his way to being fed, Iwaizumi turned to his own food.

It felt good to be around the others again. In place of the silence Iwaizumi had begun to ignore, there was the quiet chatter of familiar voices.

Watari's soft words coaxed replies from the reserved Kunimi. Matsukawa lazily chuckled at Hanamaki's incredibly inappropriate conversation with a slowly sickening Kindaichi who was wondering how he'd gotten pulled into this situation. Even the silent glares between Kyōtani and Yahaba were comforting.

"I missed you guys," Oikawa mumbled.

Despite the words barely rising above a whisper, the whole table quieted for a few seconds and looked at the prince.

Oikawa had his head in his hand, propped up above his half eaten food. His eyelids drooped, dangerously close to shutting and Iwaizumi figured now was as good a time as any to get him to rest.

Standing up under everyone's watchful gaze, Iwaizumi made his way over to the prince. Coming down to eye level, Iwaizumi placed a light hand on the middle of Oikawa's back and murmured in his ear.

"Want me to take you to the room?"

Oikawa nodded softly, draping his arm across Iwaizumi's shoulders and allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. Oikawa tried to give everyone a warm smile, but he didn't know if he succeeded.

Leaning heavily on Iwaizumi, Oikawa felt himself being half-carried down the hall and into the familiar room.

Oikawa couldn't decide if he hated this room or not.

On the one hand, this was the room where Iwaizumi lay unconscious for over a day while Oikawa had clutched his limp hand on the mattress as if he could push his own life force into him. It was a terrible time, both of them caught in a tortuous limbo.

On the other hand, this was the room where Oikawa could still feel Iwaizumi's fingers grazing the back of his neck as he murmured such beautiful words to him. It was nothing short of amazing.

Was this what bittersweet felt like? Equal parts longing and loathing? Unable to recall a good memory without being reminded of a bad one as well.

The bed creaked as Iwaizumi sat Oikawa down, pulling the messy covers back to lay the tired prince under them. Oikawa didn't care that he still had on his torn and bloody clothes and he doubted Iwaizumi did either, only wanting him to fall asleep and recover.

The prince's head hit the pillow, unkempt brown hair fanning out around him and falling in his face as he turned to the side.

Oikawa felt Iwaizumi push the hair back from his forehead. He heard the raven murmur something, but the prince was already too deep into unconsciousness to pull himself back up and ask what it was.

Iwaizumi watched the prince's eyes drift closed, unable to keep themselves open as he shifted his fingers through his chocolate brown hair, spilling it out on the pillow around him.

"You can't keep pushing yourself to the brink like this, Tooru," Iwaizumi whispered to him, hoping his words would work their way into his subconscious somehow.

Another pass through his hair with Iwaizumi's fingers and the raven stood up, exiting the room. Pulling the curtain back, he almost ran into Matsukawa and Hanamaki on the other side.

"Hey, Iwaizumi," Matsukawa started off, shouldering Hanamaki beside him, "Maki wanted to tell you something."

The man in question shot Matsukawa a dirty look before turning to Iwaizumi, a hand on the back of his neck.

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry I got short with you back in the woods," Hanamaki shrugged lightly, "It was a rough few days, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you like that."

Iwaizumi watched Hanamaki's face pull down into a frown as he looked off to the side, scratching the back of his head.

"It's fine," Iwaizumi said, pulling the pink-haired man's attention, "I get it. I was short with you too. This last week has really fucked us hasn't it?"

Hanamaki blew out a breath, "No kidding, my ass is sore from riding those horses so damn hard."

"Oh, you had horses, that must have been rough," Iwaizumi snickered.

"Hey," Hanamaki started, getting defensive before seeing the light smile on Iwaizumi's face. Hanamaki sighed and chuckled, "Whatever, now that the gang's back together, I'm looking forward to sleeping in again."

The pink-haired man reached both arms behind his head in a stretch, grinning at Iwaizumi before his gaze flickered to the curtain covered doorway.

Seeing his interest, Iwaizumi followed his gaze and nodded to the room, "He's sleeping right now, but you can go in there if you want."

"Yeah," Hanamaki pursed his lips and nodded, saying softly, "I think I will."

Right before the curtain closed over the doorway, Hanamaki paused and turned hesitantly back to Iwaizumi.

"And thanks," Hanamaki mumbled, twisting the fabric between his fingers, "For you know, making sure he didn't accidentally chop his leg off or something."

Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows in surprise, "I didn't really do much of anything," he jerked his chin to where Oikawa was sleeping soundly on the bed, "He's a tough fucking bastard, I'll give him that."

Hanamaki smiled lightly and turned back into the room, "Yeah, I guess he is."

The curtain fell down, separating them and Iwaizumi looked at it for a couple more heartbeats before turning and seeing Matsukawa watching him closely.

"And what is it that _you_ want?" Iwaizumi asked critically, moving past him and making his way into the room across the hall.

This was the room where Rinta kept all of her books and Iwaizumi breathed in the familiar smell of old paper and ink. He spent plenty of time in here reading and rereading every medical text Rinta had managed to find him, so the scent was as familiar to Iwaizumi as his own home.

Iwaizumi sat himself in one of the armchairs and watched Matsukawa as he did the same, turning it to face Iwaizumi first before folding himself into it.

"Just wanted to talk," Matsukawa grinned at him lazily, fingers brushing off the fabric of the armrest needlessly, "Seems like we've been too busy to talk the last month or so and I wanted to make sure everything was ok."

"Everything's fine, Matsun," Iwaizumi sighed, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He wasn't nearly as exhausted as Oikawa was, but that didn't mean his body wasn't feeling the effects of the last day.

"You say that a lot," Matsukawa hummed, "Maybe because saying 'everything's fine' is a lot easier than explaining what's bothering you."

Iwaizumi opened his eyes to squint at Matsukawa. Why was everyone suddenly wanting these intense conversations with him?

"Or maybe because everything is fine," Iwaizumi repeated.

The other raven raised a disbelieving eyebrow and scoffed, "Everything is completely fucked, Iwaizumi."

Iwaizumi tilted his head back up to watch as Matsukawa continued calmly, "You've got a military camp a few miles out of town ready to storm this place at the slightest provocation, there's an Oikawa from the royal family in the next room who managed to find and bond with an Elemental weapon, and let's not forget the best part," Matsukawa kicked a leg over the armrest and sprawled out as he gestured to Iwaizumi's wrist, "You're one step away from being the council's lap dog for the rest of your life."

"I thought I was an attack dog," Iwaizumi said sarcastically.

Matsukawa waved a hand around his shoulder, "Same difference. They both wear collars and do as they're told. Nothing either one of us is interested in."

Iwaizumi sighed and lifted his ankle to set it atop his opposite knee, leaning further back into the chair, "Ok, so things could be better, but we're all dealing with it."

Matsukawa rolled his head back to speak into the ceiling, "Last time you tried to 'deal with it', you ran off to Aoba Johsai to jump start a war."

"I'm not doing anything like that now. I'm just," Iwaizumi groaned and brought a hand up to rub his forehead, "I'm just trying to take it one thing at a time."

"You're doing a shit job," Matsukawa mumbled.

"Hey, fuck you, ok?" Iwaizumi snapped back. The delivery was harsh, but Iwaizumi knew Matsukawa wouldn't take it to heart. He was proven right when the man grinned back at him.

"See? So snippy," Matsukawa chuckled at the look on Iwaizumi's face and propped his head up, "Don't take this the wrong way, but maybe you shouldn't go back to Center City for a while."

Iwaizumi jerked in surprise at the suggestion, opening his mouth to disagree, but Matsukawa talked over him, "Just until we can convince the council and the rest of the Seven not to murder Oikawa on sight. It'll give you time to get a replacement bracelet too."

"Fuck the bracelet," Iwaizumi sat up straight, placing his foot back on the floor, "They're not touching Oikawa."

"What, you're gonna take on all of the Seven? Don't get me wrong, you got a cool new power, buddy," Matsukawa sighed, shaking his head, "but you've got no clue how it works and the rest of the Elementals have been training for most of their lives. They've got you beat in both quality _and_ quantity."

"They can't just kill him," Iwaizumi exclaimed, unhappy at how right Matsukawa was, "He's Aoba Johsai's Prince for fuck's sake."

Matsukawa shrugged, "That's probably an even better reason to kill him. You weren't the only one who thought all out war was our best option."

"I was being fucking stupid," Iwaizumi groaned and slumped back in his chair, running a hand over his freed wrist, "There's a real chance at peace here. The council will see it too, if they could just meet Oikawa, talk to him."

"I think you're right," Matsukawa said, making Iwaizumi look up, surprised. The taller raven grinned and stretched his long limbs out before sitting in his chair properly.

"I think the more people that meet Oikawa and the rest of them, the more support we'll have when we get to Center City," Matsukawa slouched back in his seat and folded his hands over his stomach, "I talked to Rinta while you were out and she agrees with me. It seems like the people around here have taken a real liking to the guy."

"So," Iwaizumi hummed, drawing out the word while he tried to get on the same page as Matsukawa, "What? We parade him through the country? There's so many people trying to kill him, Matsun. I'd rather not give them a bigger target."

"We tried it your way already," Matsukawa pointed out, "We tried the back ways and forest trails and look where we ended up."

Matsukawa glanced pointedly around the room and Iwaizumi clenched his jaw.

"I thought it was just because you didn't want them to realize who you were, but there was more to it wasn't there?" Matsukawa asked, looking intensely at Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi twisted his mouth to the side and jerked his head in a reluctant nod, "I didn't think something like this was going to happen."

And he truly didn't. Iwaizumi had been expecting another attempt for a long time. It was the way Kageyama had casually told him how he was going to kill the prince anyways.

_Don't you at least want to be on your way home before he dies?_

It was that phrase that haunted him, playing over and over in his mind. The deeper they had travelled into Seijoh, the louder it got, until it had finally happened at the worst possible spot.

"Look," Matsukawa sighed, running a hand through his hair, "I get it, you're a private person, but it's not just about you any more."

Iwaizumi looked over to see Matsukawa staring at the closed door and cracking his knuckles softly, "And if you can't see how we're all on your side, then I don't know what to tell you, Iwaizumi."

Silence fell as Iwaizumi thought over Matsukawa's words and the taller raven let him.

"Tell me more about your idea," Iwaizumi said softly.

Matsukawa raised his eyebrows and paused before straightening up and leaning forward, "Ok, yeah."

The next couple hours they spent hammering out details, talking situations out and figuring out the best course for them to meet as many people as possible on their way to Center City. They would all need to be vigilant, of course, but now everyone was fully aware of exactly how high the stakes were and both Matsukawa and Iwaizumi had no doubt their people would figure out a way to pull themselves through this.

After everything had been discussed, leaving no stone unturned, a comfortable silence fell.

"You know," Matsukawa said softly, glancing over at the closed door, "They're not bad."

The lanky raven looked back at Iwaizumi and smiled, "For a bunch of people from Aoba Johsai, they're not as bad as I thought."

Iwaizumi's gaze fell to the floor before lifting up to the door as well. Just beyond that door was a man laying in a bed who had risked his life to stop an attack none of them were even sure was coming. That man went into confirmed danger for the smallest chance of protecting virtual strangers. He raced into a burning building because he only _thought_ he heard someone call for help.

"Yeah," Iwaizumi whispered, "not bad at all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes.
> 
> Just. Yes.
> 
> That's what the fuck I'm talking about, the inner dialogue that's been eluding me for months has finally come to me and I fucking went with it.
> 
> I don't know where the little tension between Iwaizumi and Hanamaki came from, I honestly don't, I just feel like Maki's the kind of person to get protective of his friends while simultaneously not giving a fuck, it's a hard balance lol.
> 
> Rinta's little backstory was uh-, not planned, but I'm glad it's in there, because I feel like without it, her role is kind of vague, when in reality she's a big part of Iwa's background. I truly didn't mean for her to be so important, but here we are and there's no going back now haha!
> 
> So, Rinta's reaction to Iwaizumi's name is basically because I just typed 'Hajime' into google translate and it translated to "begin" and the symbolism was just too good to pass up here because he's literally the new beginning of the Warriors. Did I mean for this to happen? Uh, no. Come on. You guys think I'm that good? Of course not. Sometimes, life just hands me wins every now and then and who am I to pass them up?
> 
> Ugh, just, thank you guys so much for being so nice. Seriously, I can't thank you enough. I'll see you next time! I can't wait!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was I supposed to find out YESTERDAY that I've been misspelling Saeko's name this entire time? Oh god that's so fucking embarrassing. Mild, undiagnosed dyslexia strikes again. Numbers and vowels I swear to god. We don't need those right? Let's just get rid of them.
> 
> I can't with this chapter, I really can't, I cried like four times and I was only halfway done when I made this note, I just had to take a break for my health lol!
> 
> Please, please, please, be warned! It was skimmed over a few chapters back, but this is where they really address the 'breeding program,' thing (shudders). It's still nothing too explicit, mainly because I don't think the details are really all that necessary to progress the story, but also because it genuinely makes me lightly nauseous to think about it for too long. It's the reason I added the dubious consent tag, so please be warned.
> 
> This is (whoof) this is a lot. Over 12,000 (holy shit!) words of just talking and feelings. I had no idea I was capable of this and I'm not sure I succeeded. It almost feels cringe worthy, but I worked so hard on it. Ugh, I don't know, I'll leave it up to you guys to decide how you feel about this. After this one, I'll try to dial back the feels, but no promises.
> 
> You know that Kermit meme where he wears the hood?
> 
> Me: I just want to write a cute little fantasy where Oikawa's a prim, proper boy who falls in love with Iwaizumi, who's covered in dirt.
> 
> Me to Me: Make it hurt.
> 
> *Sobs*

This was a dream.

Oikawa was pretty sure this was a dream only because the last thing he remembered was laying down and feeling Iwaizumi's firm hands in his hair.

Also, if this _wasn't_ a dream, then Oikawa had no fucking clue where he was.

He wasn't in Rinta's house anymore, Oikawa knew that for sure. He looked around him at unfamiliar chambers.

It was big, wherever he was. Almost as big as his own rooms back in Aoba Johsai.

There was a window on one side that stretched from one end of the room to the other and there were plants crammed in every bit of space on the windowsill. Oikawa recognized a few of the herbs, but there were a lot more that he didn't know. His curiosity got the better of him, so the prince stepped closer to investigate, when movement caught the corner of his eye and nearly startled him to death.

Placing a hand over his racing heart, Oikawa chuckled at himself and turned to see who had joined him only to stop dead.

"Iwa?" Oikawa croaked out, having lost his voice.

The familiar head of spiky, jet black hair didn't turn towards him, didn't even acknowledge his presence.

Now, Oikawa was certain this was a dream. Not because Iwaizumi was here, but because the raven looked so different.

Flitting his eyes down to the raven's wrists, Oikawa noticed both bracelets glinting in the light of the sun pouring in through the window. Oikawa didn't like those bracelets. So why would he dream of them?

Iwaizumi's face looked odd too. He looked...younger. Not by much, maybe five or six years younger, if Oikawa had to guess. His body was leaner and his arm was lacking the bands of ink. Again, Oikawa wondered why on earth he would dream of Iwaizumi like this. He liked the raven much more the way he knew him now. Filled out and tattooed.

Even with the prince staring at him, Iwaizumi still hadn't looked up. The raven sat on a couch in front of a healthy fire with an old book on his lap, open and forgotten. Oikawa guessed it was forgotten only because Iwaizumi wasn't reading anything. He had his head tilted back, fingers moving the bracelets in thought as he stared at the ceiling.

This dream sucked.

Oikawa frowned and glanced back over to the window. The glass was about three feet tall and set deep into the wall, the perfect place for all those plants.

The prince turned to get a better look at the greenery. If Iwaizumi was going to ignore him in his own dream, then Oikawa would give his attention to these plants.

In the middle of examining the wildlife, the door to the room burst open so forcefully, both the prince and Iwaizumi jumped.

Iwaizumi hurriedly closed the book in his lap, but when he saw who it was, he relaxed and held it loosely in his hands.

"Who th-,"

"You really need to learn how to knock, Saeko," Iwaizumi talked over Oikawa as if he hadn't even spoken and the brunette shot him an irritated look.

The blonde stranger slammed the door behind her and glared at Iwaizumi from across the room.

Oh boy, this woman was a little intimidating. Her short blonde hair almost looked sweet, but there was something in her face that made Oikawa instantly cautious. Not afraid, just wary.

"Iwaizumi, what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Reading," Iwaizumi held up the book as proof before sliding it in a ripped seam under the couch and standing up to face the woman.

Oikawa stared at the place the book disappeared and glanced over at all the bookshelves lining the wall. What was so special about that particular book that it needed its own separate place?

"Don't get cute with me, it doesn't suit you," Saeko snapped, moving further into the room, "Why are you doing this? Are they making you?"

Iwaizumi shook his head and moved to take a seat at a nearby table, making Saeko follow him and sit across from him.

"Then why?" Saeko asked, spreading her hands on the table, "I thought we had a deal. We would both pretend like we were trying to have a kid and you wouldn't have to do anything."

Ok. Hold on.

"I'm sorry, what?" Oikawa choked out, half laughing, half in shock.

Neither person paid him any attention. In fact, it looked like Oikawa hadn't spoken at all. Except he had. So what the hell?

The only other time this had happened was when...

Oikawa looked down and pinched the back of his hand. No feeling.

Oh...oh no.

Was this another weird Spirit thing?

Oh, Oikawa was so fucked.

So this wasn't a dream.

And if this wasn't a dream, did this really happen? Was he stuck somehow in Iwaizumi's past? In Iwaizumi's memories?

"Hey guys," Oikawa said nervously, moving to wave a hand between the pair. Neither looked up and Oikawa found this whole thing incredibly disconcerting. He stumbled back to stand next to the couch, awkwardly pulling at his fingers as he watched the pair continue talking.

The prince watched dumbly as Iwaizumi pursed his lips at the blonde and clenched his hands on the table, "We made that deal because I was only fifteen. I'm an adult now. I can make my own decisions."

Saeko scoffed and folded her arms across her chest, "Have you learned nothing these last four years?"

Iwaizumi frowned and glanced up at her, "I'm not an idiot, Saeko. I know the council is a little twisted, but if I don't do this, I'm always going to wonder if I did the right thing."

"If the council had it their way, you'd be sleeping with a different woman every day," Saeko seethed, "That doesn't sound like the right thing to me."

Oh gods. Oikawa felt mildly nauseous.

It finally clicked for the prince. They were talking about whatever 'breeding program' his ancestor had referred to. Oikawa had been holding out hope that he'd only said those things to get under Iwaizumi's skin during the fight. Clearly, it was very real and Oikawa felt sick to his stomach.

"You don't understand, Saeko," Oikawa's attention was pulled back by the desperation in Iwaizumi's voice. It sounded like he wanted this woman on his side.

"They _need_ me. I'm the only one who can do this. How am I suppose to say no when there have been people who have _died_ for this country? They sacrificed everything and all the council wants from me is to have some fucking kids. How can I just say no?"

Iwaizumi leaned over the table and ran his hands through his hair, staring down at the wood.

"I can't be what they need me to be, so it's my job to give them someone who can," Iwaizumi murmured into the table.

"It's not your job to give them shit," Saeko snapped, her face was unperturbed by Iwaizumi's argument, "Fuck those guys. They grab me out of the blue one day to haul me up here, telling me they're going to kick me out of my apprenticeship and deport my brother if I don't do as they say."

"They didn't say that," Iwaizumi murmured softly and Saeko's face twisted.

"They may as well have. They sit me down, make it seem like it's my civic duty to have some stranger's damn kid and when they pointed at some fresh faced _child_ , I nearly lost my fucking mind," Saeko sat back in the chair, steaming mad, "I'll never forgive them for that, so as far as I'm concerned, they can take all their comments and stupid little requests and shove them so far up their asses, they choke to death."

Oikawa could see the blonde's hands clenching so hard they were shaking where they were tucked up under her arms. She was pissed, alright. Her face cast an intimidating shadow and Oikawa had no idea how Iwaizumi was actually arguing with her. Looking at her now, Oikawa was unsure exactly how anyone could make this woman do anything she didn't want to do.

At Iwaizumi's silence, Saeko's voice softened, but her backbone did not bend.

"If you want to be with someone Iwaizumi, you should be with them because it's what _you_ want," Saeko's hands unclenched and her shoulders released their built up tension as she watched Iwaizumi, "You shouldn't do this for anyone else because you're the one that's going to have to live with the consequences. No one else can do that for you."

Saeko uncrossed her arms and sat them on the table, continuing quietly.

"This only worked because we both agreed and like you said, you're an adult now, so if you don't want my help anymore, I can't make you take it. But you shouldn't rush into a decision like this, Iwaizumi."

At that, Iwaizumi slammed a hand on the table, making both Oikawa and Saeko jump in surprise.

"How the fuck am I rushing this?" Iwaizumi snapped, "The council told me what they wanted from me when I was seven. _Seven_ , Saeko. I've had my entire fucking life to do nothing but think about this and you think just because I didn't tell you my decision, that I must be rushing it?"

Iwaizumi shook his head and shoved himself to his feet, making the chair squeal in the quiet room.

"Say what you want about the council, but they've never lied to me. They've always told me exactly what they expected from me. They never forced me into anything."

"Bullshit," Saeko bit back, leaning on the edge of her seat as she glared up at Iwaizumi, "Maybe they never physically made you do anything, but they manipulated you. They're slimy fucking bastards who exploited you because of who you are."

"They're only trying to help this country," Iwaizumi argued, leaning over the table and placing his hands on the wood, "They know what they're doing."

"I don't want anything to do with countries built on the suffering of children," Saeko glared up at Iwaizumi, gripping the edge of the table.

"This isn't up for debate," Iwaizumi hissed, standing up straight and turning away from the table to lean on a bookcase, "I didn't ask for your opinion and I certainly don't need it."

Saeko drew back, staring at Iwaizumi as he faced stubbornly away from her, his hands gripping one of the shelves.

Oikawa shuffled awkwardly in the silence. Even though he wasn't physically there, the prince still felt out of place in the middle of this conversation he had no business being in. He would leave if he had a fucking clue how.

"You're making a mistake," Saeko murmured, placing her hands calmly on the table and pushing herself to her feet, "Maybe you won't regret this now. Maybe not for a few years, but there will be a day when the thought of this moment makes you sick."

Iwaizumi clenched his jaw and Saeko walked back to the door and pulled it open.

"What happened to you?" Saeko asked softly, fingers gripping the wood of the door as she held it open, "When I first met you, you seemed sad, but I thought it was more like a hopeful sad, like you knew it was only temporary and everything would eventually be ok."

Saeko turned slightly to look at Iwaizumi's back, murmuring, "Now, it's like you've accepted sad is all you'll ever be."

"What part of 'I didn't ask for your opinion' was too hard to understand?" Iwaizumi growled, still not looking at the blonde.

Saeko pursed her lips and Oikawa thought he saw the faintest tremble before she turned and left, closing the door softly behind her.

With no one else in the room, Oikawa turned back to watch Iwaizumi's knuckles turn white against the shelves.

"Fuck!" Iwaizumi shouted, startling Oikawa as he slammed a hand on the bookcase.

Books jumped and little trinkets shook, almost falling off the edge of the shelves with the force of Iwaizumi's fists.

" _Fuck_!" Iwaizumi screamed again, throwing the contents of the shelves to the ground in a rage.

"Iwa," Oikawa murmured, beginning to feel a little scared.

Not scared of Iwaizumi, more scared _for_ him. The prince couldn't imagine the kinds of choices Iwaizumi had been pushed to make for his people. He couldn't begin to grasp the kind of weight these decisions would put on one's shoulders. It wasn't fair and Iwaizumi knew that. Oikawa knew it too, but the prince wasn't the one who was trapped in an impossible situation.

Oikawa had never seen the raven get like this. His movements were frantic, pulling the books from their spots on the shelves and letting them crash to the floor. Small trinkets adorning the bookcase came falling down with the books. Oikawa saw that most of them appeared to be little wood carvings and there were some stones as well that skittered across the floor.

When the shelves were empty, Iwaizumi gripped the wood of the shelf so hard, Oikawa thought he was going to rip it from the bookcase. The raven stared at the gutted bookcase, his breathing heavy in the quiet room as he blinked, trying to get himself under control again.

Taking a step back, Iwaizumi looked down to see all the books and ornaments littered across the floor. The raven slowly sank to his knees and began placing the books into piles, shoving them back into their spots on the shelves.

Oikawa watched, it was like all the fight left the raven and now he was lifeless. Like his body was just going through the motions of cleaning up without actually giving it much thought. It was simply reflex, Oikawa could see that, and somehow, that hurt the brunette more.

Iwaizumi began gathering the other things that once belonged on the bookcase, the wood carvings and the stones. The raven stilled for several long heartbeats, looking at something on the floor that Oikawa couldn't see. Iwaizumi slowly pulled whatever it was into his lap, cupping it delicately in his hands.

Oikawa didn't notice the tears until Iwaizumi raised a hand to wipe at his face, sniffing lightly.

"Iwa," Oikawa whispered again, going to his knees on the floor across from Iwaizumi and letting his gaze fall to the object in his hands.

It was the stone Iwaizumi had found for him when they were eight. The one Iwaizumi said looked like the prince's eyes. Oikawa had wondered what happened to it, but never in all his life would he have thought Iwaizumi had kept it.

Oikawa couldn't help but wonder what Iwaizumi thought when he looked at the rock. Did he think of the boy in the woods? Did he miss him? What was it about that colorful stone that made Iwaizumi so sad?

"I don't know what else to do," Iwaizumi sniffed and whispered into the room, clutching onto the rock as if he was expecting it to talk back to him.

"Hajime," Oikawa felt his voice break. He knew Iwaizumi couldn't hear him, but he was unable to keep himself quiet as he watched the raven's face twist in silent agony. There was nothing the prince could do, so he stayed with Iwaizumi on that stone floor, bearing witness to the man's grief and feeling the steady aching in his own chest.

"How do you like this path you've chosen, Tooru?"

Oikawa whipped his head around at the voice and stared in disbelief at the woman from the forest.

Long, ebony limbs stretched themselves comfortably out as she leaned back on the couch. Her arms draped across the back of the cushions as her otherworldly black eyes bore into Oikawa's brown ones, waiting for a response.

"What? What is this? What are you doing here?" Oikawa stood, suddenly feeling the need to shield Iwaizumi's sorrow from her. He didn't know why, it wasn't like her eyes ever left the prince in the first place.

The woman tilted her head to rest on the back of the couch. The flowers in her curly braids caught the light from the window and pulled Oikawa's attention briefly before he snapped his gaze back to her face, wanting an answer.

" _This_ is a memory," the woman gestured around them, condescendingly, "I thought you were smarter than that, little lion boy."

Oikawa's brow furrowed at the nickname, recalling her last words to him the night he had dragged Iwaizumi unconscious through the forest.

Two boys. One a golden child, a lion boy. The other a fearless child, a broken boy.

"Why call me that?" Oikawa demanded.

The woman only smiled and showed no signs of answering him.

If he was the golden child, did that make Iwaizumi the broken boy?

Oikawa looked back at Iwaizumi, still kneeling on the floor and felt a small stab of anger through his chest.

Iwaizumi wasn't fucking broken and Oikawa wasn't some precious thing.

"Who are you?" Oikawa asked harshly, crossing his arms defensively over his chest.

"I've been lots of things," The woman shrugged, unimpressed by the bite in Oikawa's tone, "Right now, I think they call me Anyani."

"Anyani," Oikawa repeated to himself. Why did that name sound familiar to him? Did he hear someone talking about it or had he read it somewhere?

The woman waved a hand and Iwaizumi disappeared from behind Oikawa. The prince turned to see everything put back on the shelves as well. Like nothing had ever happened.

"Is this your doing?" Oikawa asked, gesturing around the now empty room. Empty except for the two ghosts of shadows who never should have been there in the first place.

Anyani chuckled at his question and tilted her head, "Ooo, you're going to have to be a lot more specific than that."

Oikawa furrowed his brow and clenched his hands.

"This. Showing me this. Is it you?" Oikawa gritted out.

Anyani raised an eyebrow at the frustration leaking out of the prince, "Why would I want to show you something like this? You're the one desperately trying to connect with the poor man."

Oikawa flinched back and stared at the spot Iwaizumi had disappeared, all his previous anger seeping out as he murmured, "So it's my fault? I'm the one doing this?"

"You are," Anyani confirmed, but when she looked at the prince's crestfallen face, she decided to take a small amount of pity on him, "I know you didn't mean to do it, but this is technically, all you."

"I didn't want to see this," Oikawa whispered, looking back at the bookcase and remembering the desperate sound of the book covers hitting the floor, "I'm not supposed to be here."

"No, I don't think you are," Anyani hummed, her eyes following Oikawa's gaze.

"So what am I doing here?" Oikawa turned, splaying his hands in supplication, begging the woman for answers, "Why am I here?"

Anyani sighed, glancing down at her lap before looking back up to the prince, "You resonate a little _too_ well with Spirit, lion boy. You can't help reaching out to others, even in unconsciousness."

"How do I make it stop?" Oikawa asked, taking a small step towards the woman on the couch.

Anyani frowned, "You chose this, Tooru. I told you this wouldn't be easy and you didn't listen to me."

"You were supposed to be a hallucination," Oikawa exclaimed, "something caused by hunger, exhaustion, and a hit to the head. Not-," Oikawa gestured to her, unable to think of something to say, realizing too late that she never told him who she was beyond her name.

"Not what?" Anyani said, lips tilting up slightly in amusement.

Oikawa groaned softly in exasperation. He scrubbed at his head, not actually feeling it, but the motion soothed him, helped him think. Oikawa remembered her voice from the day he met Iwaizumi all those years ago. She sounded exactly the same as she did now as if no time had passed at all. He didn't recognize it in the way he could recognize a family member's voice after being parted for so long. No, this was the exact same voice.

Was that even possible?

And here she was, in a memory of someone else. Oikawa barely understood it himself, but it seemed like that shouldn't be something she could do.

Not unless she was something much more than Oikawa had originally thought.

"How are you here?" Oikawa murmured, letting his hand fall to the side as he faced the seated woman, "If this is only a memory, how are you here?"

Anyani smiled, "I think you already have some idea, don't you?"

It wasn't an idea. It was more like a vague notion that felt too ridiculous to even voice aloud.

"What are you?" Oikawa asked quietly.

The woman's smile widened, "Finally, the correct question."

Anyani stood, swiftly and gracefully, her white gown drifting lazily to the ground around her as she moved, "I'm old, Tooru. So much older than any of the civilizations you have ever heard about."

The flowers in her hair seemed to glow and sway even though there was no wind to move them.

"I'm certainly not human," Anyani continued, "but I'm not quite like the gods you people pray to."

She drew closer and Oikawa looked into her eyes, surprised to find that she was just as tall as he was, somehow her height had escaped his notice all this time. The prince felt himself falling in her eyes, unable to tell the difference between the black of her pupils and the onyx of her irises.

Oikawa believed her when she said she was old. Her face and body looked like his, strong, tall, and lean but when he looked in her eyes, he knew they held secrets to empires.

"I hear no prayers," Anyani murmured, "There's no temples in my name and I hold nothing sacred except the ground beneath my feet," a steely look entered her eyes, "A ground that has been tainted by your kind for far too long."

Anyani moved to circle Oikawa and the prince couldn't help but feel trapped. The way a rabbit feels when circled by the fox.

"Everything in nature feeds back into the earth, but not humans. Why do you think that is?" Anyani asked quietly.

Oikawa shook his head. He had no answers and felt even if he did, they would be wrong.

"Humans are greedy little creatures," Anyani whispered, lifting her hands and needlessly straightening Oikawa's shirt, fussing over it as you would a child, "They take precious stones from the earth that nature spent thousands of years making and they turn them into frivolous things to hang around their necks," she reached up to draw a line across the prince's forehead, right where a crown would sit.

"They make themselves trifles to sit atop their heads as symbols of their status," Oikawa pulled away slightly and Anyani smiled, dropping her hand, "Humans as a whole, are squabbling parasites waging useless wars because of their petty differences and they have the audacity to think they are important enough to drag the world down with them."

Anyani scoffed and shook her head.

"So why me?" Oikawa murmured, feeling brave enough to ask in the momentary silence. She didn't seem to be lumping him in with the rest of humanity, saying 'they' instead of 'you'. Her quiet rage only simmered and Oikawa didn't want to be around if she were ever to let it loose.

"If everyone's the same," Oikawa continued softly, "why take such an interest in me?"

Anyani looked at the prince in contemplation, "I never said they were all the same. I've seen them be kind. They plant things in their garden, they nurse injured animals back to health, they can give themselves selflessly. I understand how wide and all-encompassing the human condition is. I have seen their capacity for hate, ignorance, and fear. I want to see their capacity for love now."

She looked at Oikawa expectantly and the prince furrowed his brows, confused, "What's that got to do with me? I'm just one person. How am I supposed to show you something like that?"

"So many questions, lion boy," Anyani waved a hand as if to wave them away, "but never the right ones. Aren't you curious why I led you to a fearless little boy in the woods that day?"

Oikawa opened his mouth and closed it, fighting to think.

"Why?" Oikawa croaked.

"It doesn't count if I have to give you the answers _and_ the questions," Anyani chuckled and moved to stand directly in front of the prince, looking at him intensely, much like she had last time, "Come find me when you're at your tipping point. When you have to choose between your love and your hate. I would like to know which is stronger."

"How-?" Oikawa started. How would he find her? How would he know when his tipping point was? How does she seem to know what will happen to him?

Anyani tsked and shook her head, "And next time, try to have better questions for me."

Before Oikawa could object, Anyani pressed a light finger to the center of his forehead and the prince was suddenly falling through the air.

***

Oikawa had been asleep for over a day and Iwaizumi was getting more anxious with every passing minute.

At first, they just thought he was tired. Iwaizumi tried to explain what was happening, but he didn't think he was able to illustrate exactly how much Oikawa's body had been through the last couple days. But the longer the day stretched on, the more Iwaizumi worried that something was actually wrong.

Oikawa had come back from being shoved out of his own body. He came back from a camp with at _least_ one person trying to kill him. Oikawa was supposed to be safe now. Iwaizumi wasn't supposed to think every time the prince closed his eyes was the last time he'd get to see them.

A couple hours ago, Oikawa had started mumbling Iwaizumi's name, whispering it almost like a whimper. Iwaizumi had been pacing the house when Hanamaki told him what happened. At the look of stress on the pink-haired man's face, Iwaizumi felt his lungs clenching around his heart, trying to strangle him.

Iwaizumi had been in that small room ever since, enduring the irritated looks Hanamaki kept throwing him.

They tried to wake him up, taking turns shaking him, but when Oikawa's head just lolled to the side like a ragdoll's, both Iwaizumi and Hanamaki stopped trying, feeling sick to their stomachs.

Even Rinta had tried to help, but nothing seemed to bring Oikawa back to consciousness and Iwaizumi was left to drown in his muted panic.

He was looking out the window and twisting his metal band when he heard Oikawa burst back to life across the room.

Oikawa woke, gasping for air and convulsing on the bed. He clutched at his chest and felt his heart hammering through the fabric.

"Whoa, hey. You're ok."

Oikawa looked beside him, lungs still trying to pull in more air than they could handle as he saw Hanamaki's worried face next to the bed.

The pink-haired man glanced over his shoulder and Oikawa followed his gaze, his gulps of air coming less frequently now, and the prince saw Iwaizumi, standing in front of the window to the room. The raven's hand was on his bracelet and his face was drawn tight in concern.

At the look of such distress on Iwaizumi's face, Oikawa suddenly remembered the conversation he'd heard between Iwaizumi and the blonde stranger. The conversation neither of them had wanted the prince to witness.

"Iwa, I'm so sorry," Oikawa couldn't stop himself from gasping out his apology.

Hanamaki looked at Iwaizumi, confused, and the raven shrugged, letting the other man know he didn't have a clue what Oikawa was talking about either.

"Maki," Oikawa reached out to squeeze his friend's shoulder, "Can we please have a minute?"

Hanamaki looked from Iwaizumi to Oikawa.

"I guess that's ok," Hanamaki murmured, standing up from the chair beside the bed and clasping the prince's hand in his own, "Just take it easy for a while, ok? You look like dog shit right now."

Oikawa gave the man a ghost of a smile that disappeared the second the curtain fell behind him. Iwaizumi waited a few more seconds before sliding hesitantly into the seat Hanamaki had just left.

"You ok?" Iwaizumi asked softly, fingers pulling at the blanket on the bed, "You didn't seem to be sleeping well."

Despite his body being completely limp, the prince had still been twitching every so often, murmuring incoherent things under his breath. Sometimes he sounded angry, but it was the times he sounded sad that really hit Iwaizumi.

Oikawa pulled himself up slowly, wincing at the soreness in his muscles as he settled his back against the headboard.

"I feel like I barely slept at all," Oikawa closed his eyes and tilted his head back to thud softly against the wall.

Iwaizumi stared down at the covers and murmured, "We couldn't wake you up."

Oikawa tilted his head back down to look at Iwaizumi.

"How long was I out?" Oikawa asked, looking at the sunlight pouring in through the window. Wasn't there sunlight when he went to sleep?

"More than a day now," Iwaizumi told him quietly, fingers still working the edge of the blanket, pulling at it harshly.

"I'm sorry," Oikawa whispered again, looking down to see clean bandages wrapped around his arm and a fresh change of clothes.

It seemed like all Iwaizumi had been doing for days was worrying about Oikawa and how had the prince repaid him? By rooting around in his memories.

"It's ok. You're awake now, that's what matters," Iwaizumi looked up and caught the look of guilt on the prince's face. Iwaizumi hesitated, because this looked like Oikawa was more concerned than he should be about making Iwaizumi worry for a few hours. It looked far more serious.

Iwaizumi reminded himself that he had promised to continue their conversation from the greenhouse as soon as Oikawa woke up, but looking at the face on the prince now, Iwaizumi wasn't sure he wanted to. Nothing that made Oikawa this upset could be good news.

"What's wrong?" Iwaizumi asked quietly, afraid of the answer.

Oikawa pulled on the wrapping covering his injuries, unable to look at Iwaizumi's concern anymore.

"Am I supposed to see memories, Iwa?"

Iwaizumi carefully watched the brunette fidget as he shook his head, "That's not something I've heard of, no."

A few heartbeats of silence passed and Iwaizumi spoke back up, voice tight and anxious, "Why do you ask?"

Oikawa twisted his head to the side and pinched his arm, whispering, "I think I saw one of yours."

In the following silence, Oikawa mustered up the courage to look at Iwaizumi's face to see it blanch and look at him in some kind of horror.

"Which one?" Iwaizumi asked, so quietly, Oikawa thought he only mouthed the words, but the prince heard him loud and clear.

"You were fighting with someone named Saeko," Oikawa murmured, looking back down at his hands curled in his lap.

"About what?"

Oikawa twisted his mouth to the side. They were supposed to talk about these things, but not like this. Iwaizumi needed to be the one to come to him, Oikawa wasn't supposed to back him in a corner. And yet, he couldn't pretend he knew nothing of what Iwaizumi had gone through. Granted, he knew very, very little of the things Iwaizumi was made to endure, but Oikawa just couldn't pretend he was clueless, not about this.

"What were we fighting about, Tooru?" Iwaizumi's voice grew quieter and Oikawa almost lost the iron grip he'd been keeping on his tears.

Oikawa sniffed, still unable to lift his gaze, "She wanted to talk you out of-," Oikawa hesitated, unsure how to be delicate, "out of doing what the council wanted you to do."

How they wanted him to have a child, not caring what Iwaizumi had to say about it. How they tried to start this process with Iwaizumi at the age of fifteen. That particular fact sent violent shivers up Oikawa's spine and he had to remind himself about that blonde stranger who seemed like the only one with any kind of sense in her head. Oikawa didn't know her, but if she helped Iwaizumi through any part of this, the prince was extremely grateful.

Silence fell as Oikawa's words processed and Iwaizumi stood up suddenly, startling Oikawa out of his thoughts, making him look at the man.

Halfway across the room, Iwaizumi stopped himself, standing and fidgeting in the middle of the small room, looking anywhere but at the brunette on the bed.

Iwaizumi wanted to run. Oikawa didn't need to see his rippling aura to know that. The raven's hands twitched in front of him, unable to decide if they wanted to rub at the bare skin on one arm, or the metal around the other.

"I didn't mean to see it," Oikawa murmured, shifting to sit up and lean towards the raven, "I don't know what happened, I was asleep. I would never intentionally invade your privacy like that. Iwaizumi, I'm so sorry."

Iwaizumi remained quiet, warring with himself and grasping for something to say.

"I can't control it yet Iwa, but I promise I'll get better. You won't have to worry because I'm talking to Rinta and she's going to show me how to fix this, make sure it doesn't happen again," Oikawa rambled on, pulling more fiercely at the bandages now.

It remained quiet in the room.

"I'm sorry, Hajime," Oikawa sobbed, feeling the burning in his palms and fingers as he gripped the sheets on the bed, "You don't even like talking about this stuff, I can't imagine what it's like knowing I've seen the smallest bit without permission."

Oikawa looked up and begged Iwaizumi, "Say something Hajime, please."

More silence descended and Oikawa felt his guilt beginning to open up and swallow him whole. It was a ravenous beast and Oikawa's heart and lungs were open for the taking.

Iwaizumi knew this was something worth talking about. This wasn't dumb or insignificant. Only recently was he able to fully coming to grips with the fact that what happened to him mattered. And what he'd done settled uncomfortably around his shoulders.

Iwaizumi wished he could say that he'd immediately regretted it, but the truth was, he had felt next to nothing. After the first time, Iwaizumi had watched the woman go, watched the door close behind her and felt empty. Emotionless, like he should have felt something, but his brain and body were unable to process it.

He'd tried to sleep, but he couldn't. His body lay on his bed, closed its eyes, went through all the motions of actual sleep, but Iwaizumi was awake the entire night, watching shadows stretch in the rising sun. Morning came and Iwaizumi still didn't move because it suddenly hit him that he had nothing better to do than try to sleep.

Not that he wanted to do anything else anymore. Anything he'd wanted to do, suddenly didn't feel as good, like he was missing the part that he liked. Training with the Seven and hearing about their antics, where once he'd looked forward to those days, now he dreaded them because being around them had turned exhausting. It felt like every second he wasn't pretending, someone was asking him if he was ok.

"Hey, you ok?"

"You look tired, you sleeping ok?"

"You don't look good, you feeling ok?"

It became something Iwaizumi intentionally avoided, drawing into himself.

He decided feeling numb was better than feeling the guilt and disgust. It was easier as well. Too easy to remember the way he'd felt for nearly twelve years while Rinta tried desperately to keep him safe. He had learned to live detached and Iwaizumi allowed himself to fall back into the fog.

Saeko begged him to talk about it, to get help, but Iwaizumi didn't want to deal with it. Why would he put himself through the effort of opening up and talking about it? For what? For the smallest chance that he could be ok again? He'd still be stuck in the same impossible situation and with the inconceivable choices he'd made, Iwaizumi would rather die numb than ever process what he'd done or what had been done to him.

And going into Aoba Johsai had been the perfect excuse. He was helping his people, something he would destroy himself over and over again to do. He would help them and his own suffering would end, he would be at peace. Iwaizumi had been ok with that.

The very last thing he had expected, was to be confronted with someone so full of life that it hurt to look at them. Oikawa never let a single emotion go to waste. When he was sad, he cried, when he was happy, he laughed, when he got mad, he yelled. Even when the prince fake smiled, it was to cover up a real hurt. Something Iwaizumi couldn't do because he had forfeited his hurt and smiles a long time ago.

But, gods, did this man make Iwaizumi want to feel again. He would gladly endure reliving the worst moments of his life if he knew that at the end of it, he was surrounded by Oikawa and his endless presence. Iwaizumi would collapse to his knees in front of the prince, helpless and weary, with nothing left in him but dust, and he knew Oikawa would set him back on his feet. He would wash away everything and lead Iwaizumi back to the place he last felt safe.

With Oikawa there, moonless nights didn't seem so cold anymore. Iwaizumi no longer dreaded waking up in the morning with the brunette in the picture. His brightness warmed Iwaizumi to his core and made him remember what it was like to be happy.

If only Iwaizumi could explain all that to Oikawa.

A lifetime of avoidance had finally come back to bite Iwaizumi in the ass, so even when the raven knew how important this talk with Oikawa was, he still didn't know which words to use.

The first reaction was always the easiest: shut it down. It was how he had managed all those years by himself. Force the thoughts he didn't like in a small box and let it drift to the bottom of his subconscious. It was tempting. So fucking tempting.

But where exactly had denial ever gotten him?

Here.

It had gotten him here. Stuck in a room by a promise he'd made to both himself and the prince. He was trapped and unequipped for the conversation at hand.

"That's all you saw?" Iwaizumi asked quietly.

Oikawa squeezed his eyes shut, feeling nauseous. He nodded, deciding that watching Iwaizumi throwing the contents of his bookcase on the ground wasn't important enough right now. Neither was the meeting with the entity calling herself Anyani. None of that was causing the raven to practically vibrate with anxiety.

"That's all," Oikawa whispered.

Iwaizumi hesitated, hands twitching in front of him. He began pacing the room, twisting his fingers through his black hair and pulling at the short strands, frustrated at himself for being unable to think of a way to talk about this.

"Fuck," Iwaizumi cursed, scrubbing harder at his head, trying to coax a thought out somehow, "I don't know what to say, Oikawa. I don't know how I'm supposed to talk about this."

"It's ok. I know you promised me more honesty, but it's really ok," Oikawa murmured, eyes on the blanket covering his lap. It was hard watching Iwaizumi move about the room like a trapped hornet, "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"I do!" Iwaizumi shouted, angry with himself for his lack of social skills, "want to talk about it, I mean. I do, I just...can't."

Oikawa pursed his lips and waited, knowing there was nothing he could do.

Iwaizumi slowed his pacing and sighed deeply as he gripped the back of the chair next to the bed, turning his knuckles white with the force.

"I've never talked with anyone else about this," Iwaizumi whispered.

Oikawa looked up to see Iwaizumi staring down at the seat of the chair, brow furrowed and jaw working.

"I won't say anything," Oikawa mumbled.

At that, Iwaizumi looked up, almost exasperated at the prince, "I know that, Oikawa. It's not that I don't trust you, I just-," Iwaizumi heaved a sigh and dug his fingers into the back of his neck, "It's just been so long, I don't even know how to explain it."

Oikawa was afraid to ask _how_ long and maybe Iwaizumi saw the horror on his face because he hurried to clarify.

"Nothing like that happened until I was older. I'm talking about how it was just normal for them to talk to me about it," Iwaizumi chewed his lip as he thought, "The council and my parents both made it a common thing to mention, like it wasn't a big deal. And I believed them, for a while."

Iwaizumi shifted on his feet, resisting the urge to begin pacing again, "I convinced myself that it didn't matter, that it was just sex. I don't think I could've handled it if I actually saw it for what it was. I spent years talking myself into thinking I actually wanted it. I thought if I truly felt disgusted by it, I wouldn't have been able to-," Iwaizumi groaned softly, waving his hands in vague gestures, "you know, _do_ it."

The sound of the chair being slid out made Oikawa look up and watch as Iwaizumi moved it closer to the bed and slumped in the seat.

"Saeko tried to tell me I'd regret it. I should have listened to her."

Iwaizumi looked small sitting in that chair, and Oikawa hated it. He hated that anything could make this man feel like he wasn't worth the space he occupied, like he needed to make himself smaller to justify his place in the world. The thought alone, stoked Oikawa's rage, but the look on Iwaizumi's face made him hold his tongue and shove it down. There would be a time for bitterness, but angry words weren't what the raven needed from Oikawa right now.

Silence fell as Iwaizumi's knee bounced. Oikawa tracked the nervous energy, reminded of how easily the raven would bolt at the first sign of anything he didn't like. It gave the prince mixed feelings to see Iwaizumi denying his comfort for the prince's sake.

Then, Oikawa remembered all the times he'd given the raven no other choice but to stay with him. He'd gotten himself shit-faced in a town where at least a portion of its people wanted to gut him, making Iwaizumi deal with his drunken antics. That same night he had coerced the raven to stay not once, but two different times, making him share a bed when Iwaizumi had expressly told him no. The memory made Oikawa's stomach flip unpleasantly.

"Did I ever make you feel like they did?" Oikawa whispered, his voice so low, Iwaizumi almost didn't catch it, but when he registered the words, he jerked in surprise.

"No!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, leaning forward and looking at the pained expression on Oikawa's face, "Of course not."

"I'm too pushy," Oikawa pointed out, looking down and biting his bottom lip cruelly, "I know I can be too affectionate sometimes and I never stop to think maybe some people don't want that, you know? I don't think about it until after the fact and by then, there's nothing I can say but sorry."

"Oikawa, stop."

"I never wanted to make you feel pressured or make you feel like you had no say in the matter," Oikawa thought back to the long kiss in the forest and winced, remembering how he had practically begged Iwaizumi not to leave.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Iwaizumi. I shouldn't have asked you to stay like that when we first kissed. I knew you wanted to leave, but I didn't let you. I wasn't thinking, I was being selfish an-,"

"Tooru, stop!" Iwaizumi interrupted, louder this time. He reached and grasped for the prince's fingers to make Oikawa look at the raven instead of mumbling into his lap.

"For fuck's sake, would you listen to me?" Iwaizumi huffed, thinking it summed up their relationship perfectly that Oikawa was the one doing most of the talking when it was Iwaizumi who still had things to say.

"I've never been good at admitting to myself what I want. I'm good at convincing myself I want things, but in the end, I don't think I ever truly know what it is I want."

Iwaizumi sighed and glanced down at the floor, "Those were the worst years of my life and I did things I'm not proud of. Things I don't think I'll ever be ok with. I hated who I was then and I hate it now. If I ever have to make a decision like that again, I'd run without a second thought."

Iwaizumi blinked, focusing on the fingers in his hands and tilting them to get a better look, continuing softly, "If I had the chance to go back in time and do it all again, I think I'd want to find you."

Feeling the surprised twitch of Oikawa's fingers, Iwaizumi smiled softly, "You asked me and I told you, Tooru. You never made me feel like I was less than a human being. I was never a tool to you and you were never anything but kind to me. Being around you made me feel like I was more than I could ever be, not less than I was."

"So the answer to your question from the greenhouse is yes," Iwaizumi looked up to meet Oikawa's wide-eyed gaze, staring at the raven like he was the only thing in the world and Iwaizumi was sure he looked the same as he murmured, "I'm much more than ok with this."

Oikawa's breath shuddered in a sigh. The prince didn't realize how much not knowing had bothered him until he heard Iwaizumi tell him it was ok.

Iwaizumi shifted in the chair, pulling his lip between his teeth for a moment, "There's things I need to work through, but if you can give me more time, I promise to make it up to you."

Oikawa shook his head dumbly, still gaping at Iwaizumi.

"You don't have to do anything for me. It's-, I'm not-," Oikawa sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, gathering himself before opening them again, "I just need you to tell me if I make you feel uncomfortable. That's all I'll ever ask of you."

"Wow, bold statement. Do you mind if I get that in writing?" Iwaizumi's green eyes illuminated with a small amount of amusement as he gazed at Oikawa, "You're just _such_ a demanding person, I'm going to need assurances."

A surprised laugh rocked Oikawa's chest and he sniffed lightly, "Mean, Iwa-chan. You know what I meant."

Iwaizumi smiled, looking down at their hands, "Yeah, I know."

The first comfortable silence fell for the first time since Oikawa had woken up as the pair stared at their entwined fingers. Iwaizumi's were bigger and both of them cradled Oikawa's leaner, much more nimble fingers.

Calloused fingertips passed gently over the bandages on the prince's hand and Oikawa lost himself in the smallest of touches, watching tanned fingers knead life and warmth back into him. Watched those same fingers graze his knuckles before sliding down to loosely encircle the prince's wrists and glide back up to start the motion all over again.

It almost startled Oikawa when Iwaizumi spoke back up, voice tight with nerves.

"Am I-," Iwaizumi hesitated, furrowing his brow and glancing at the floor, "Does it bother you? That I'm-, I've-," Iwaizumi sighed, beginning to get frustrated again for being unable to find the right words.

"I don't shine as bright as you, Tooru," Iwaizumi admitted softly, thinking this was as close as he could get to expressing what he really wanted to say, "I don't think I was ever supposed to."

Iwaizumi didn't think himself a dark person, but there was something that had settled in his soul over the years. Maybe it had been Rinta's blind attempts to help him, but Iwaizumi didn't think so. This felt bigger than that. Deeper.

Some things leave marks on people. Invisible to the eye, but glaringly obvious, if someone knew where to look. Some choices took things from the soul and Iwaizumi wasn't sure he could get them back.

He wasn't sure if he _wanted_ them back.

No one comes through life unscathed and if you let it, the world will swallow you whole and spit you out, covered in stains as black as a starless sky where once there was sunlight.

So yes, maybe Iwaizumi let life turn him a little more jaded than he'd like.

But if he was the darkness at the end of everything, Oikawa was the relentless astronomer, stubbornly staring into the abyss of his soul long enough for clouds of dust to take shape and collapse into stars.

How could Iwaizumi hate his darkness, when it made the stars shine so much brighter for Oikawa?

"Hajime," Oikawa whispered, turning his hands to grab Iwaizumi's fingers, whose grip had gone slack when the raven became lost in his thoughts, "Do you not realize how much I depend on you? Even when we were kids, you gave me so much strength and stability, I was never afraid of falling. I climbed higher, because I knew you would be there to catch me."

Oikawa squeezed the hands in his lightly, feeling the small twinge of pain in his injured hand and ignoring it to give his undivided attention to the man in front of him.

"Baubles _shine_ , Hajime," Oikawa whispered, falling deep into the evergreen pools before him, "You gave me so much more than trinkets."

Something flickered and flared to life in Iwaizumi's aura and Oikawa would have ignored it, if it wasn't so _fucking_ beautiful.

This color looked like the opal handles of Oikawa's weapons, cloudy white and shimmering with every other color. It curled lazily around the raven, threading through his aura, bathing it in its essence. Oikawa desperately wanted to know what that color was and how to make Iwaizumi's whole being light up with it, instead of just that small portion.

Iwaizumi saw Oikawa's gaze flicker from his and he realized the prince was looking at his aura now. The raven still wasn't sure if he liked being such an open book, but if there had to be someone who saw his every emotion, Iwaizumi was glad it was Oikawa.

The reminder of his aura made Iwaizumi clear his throat, "Rinta said whatever you did to the Warrior energy is working."

"Oh," Oikawa hummed, glancing at Iwaizumi then back to the air around him, "that's good."

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at the minimal response, "Do you even know what you did?"

Oikawa winced slightly. It wasn't that Iwaizumi's words were harsh, even his tone was gentle. His question just reminded Oikawa that he had been grasping at straws, trying to save Iwaizumi like that. He could have easily damaged Iwaizumi in his desperation and Oikawa didn't think he'd ever be able to forgive himself if that happened.

"I don't," Oikawa admitted, looking back down to the ground, "I don't even know what's stopping it from taking over."

"Rinta might know," Iwaizumi said softly, rubbing his thumbs on the back of Oikawa's knuckles, "You should talk to her. Get a better understanding of what you can do now."

Oikawa nodded.

Iwaizumi gave the prince's hands one last squeeze and carefully set them back on the bed. Getting up to lead Oikawa out the door, the brunette's hand shot out and grabbed Iwaizumi's freed wrist, making him stop.

"Not right now though, right?" Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi through full, dark lashes and Iwaizumi felt his heart stutter in his chest.

"I guess not," Iwaizumi murmured, letting Oikawa's hand pull him back to sit in the chair, "I'm supposed to talk to you about Center City anyways."

Oikawa shook his head lightly, "Everything will still be there, just stay with me a while. Would that be ok?"

Iwaizumi chewed his lip and glanced at the doorway. Matsukawa and Hanamaki had appointed him the one in charge of telling Oikawa about their ideas. They seemed to be under the impression that Iwaizumi would have to talk Oikawa into the plan when Iwaizumi knew for a fact that the prince would be a little _too_ on board with it.

But Oikawa was right. All those discussions could be put on hold for the time being. Iwaizumi was beginning to realize that this was important too. These were the slow moments in life and there was nothing wrong with enjoying it with someone else.

"Ok," Iwaizumi whispered, selfishly savoring the look of relief on Oikawa's face.

The quiet this time spoke volumes. Maybe there were still things left to say, but those things would come with time and they were in no rush.

If Oikawa listened, he could make out the faint sounds of the others knocking about the house. A burst of laughter that could only be Matsukawa laughing at gods knew what. The sound of Kyōtani's near feral growling, probably at Yahaba. The soft crackling drone of a fire somewhere close.

And Iwaizumi was here. With him.

He wasn't running, didn't have one foot out the door, wasn't jittering with the need to escape. He was really here, seemingly content to let Oikawa play with the metal around his wrist and spread light touches along the inside of his arms.

"Did you really climb all those trees because you thought I'd catch you?"

Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi to find him already looking at the prince with the strangest look in his deep green eyes.

"I didn't think you'd catch me, Iwa," Oikawa grinned softly, "I knew you'd catch me."

******

_It was the spring before they both turned eleven and Tooru was glad winter was over. Excited about the lengthening days because it meant he got to spend more time with Iwaizumi._

_That excitement usually only lasted the small prince until he got to their clearing. The smell of lavender invaded his mind, blanketed it, until he gave into the struggle and laid down for a quick nap._

_When Iwaizumi got to the clearing, he found Tooru laying on his side with his head nearly dangling off the rock jutting out over the water. It looked like the smaller boy was sleeping. Iwaizumi had a brief, cruel thought about pushing the brunette in the cold water, but once he got a better look at the other boy's peaceful face, he sighed and decided he could wait until Tooru was awake to push him in the lake. Compromise._

_Iwaizumi quietly laid down on his stomach beside the brunette, picking up small rocks and setting them to the side while he waited for Tooru to wake up._

_Tooru was hovering on the cusp on sleep. He didn't notice Iwaizumi had joined him until the raven began humming softly. Tooru slit one eye open and caught Iwaizumi throwing small pebbles in the lake below, watching the ripples stretch across the surface. His thin voice drifting across the clearing and making Tooru perk up his ears._

_"What song is that, Iwa-chan?" Tooru murmured, sleepily._

_Iwaizumi jumped at the sound of the boy's voice and Tooru saw his face heat up in the soft sunlight when he saw the brunette was awake._

_"I don't know, just something I heard," Iwaizumi shrugged and turned on his side, facing away from the prince._

_Tooru pulled his lips in a pout and poked at the boy's shoulder blades, "Why'd you stop? I was almost asleep."_

_"Then you shouldn't have opened your fat mouth," Iwaizumi grumbled softly._

_Tooru sighed and stretched lazily, yawning as he pulled himself to sit up and look down at Iwaizumi._

_"What are we doing today, Iwa-chan?"_

_Iwaizumi shrugged from his spot on the rock, still facing away from Tooru, "I don't know. You're the one always coming up with ideas."_

_Tooru hummed and glanced around at the trees._

_"I'm hungry," Tooru whined softly._

_Iwaizumi shifted to peer at the brunette over his shoulder, "Why didn't you eat before you came here?"_

_Tooru frowned, "I forgot! Plus, weren't you going to show me all the things around here we can eat?"_

_"It's just nuts, seeds, and some plants," Iwaizumi turned to sit up, looking disappointedly at the boy, "You shouldn't skip food because you forget."_

_Sticking out his tongue, Tooru scrambled to his feet and started towards the trees, hearing Iwaizumi follow close behind._

_"I'm serious, Tooru," Iwaizumi mumbled, watching the brunette's back as the prince walked lazily through the woods, "You should've told me you hadn't eaten. I could've gotten you some food."_

_Tooru giggled lightly, turning around and walking backwards to talk to the raven boy, "I was sleeping, Iwa-chan. How was I supposed to tell you?"_

_Iwaizumi furrowed his small brow and Tooru continued, "Besides, if you'd gotten my food for me, then how would I ever learn about the plants?"_

_"I'd show you the plants when you're not starving," Iwaizumi grumbled._

_Tooru smiled and continued walking backwards, waiting for Iwaizumi to snap at him and tell him to watch where he was going like the prince knew he would. His shoulders brushed a few trees, but he managed to stay on his feet._

_Iwaizumi frowned at the brunette, "Can you walk right? You're not supposed to do that out here."_

_"Why so worried, Iwa-chan?" Tooru teased, "Afraid I'm gonna fall and you're gonna have to carry me? Then you'll finally have to admit you're not as strong as you think you are."_

_Tooru laughed again, stopping when his foot caught on an overgrown root. The brunette stumbled a bit and looked up to find Iwaizumi's arms half outstretched to catch him with a fearful look on his face._

_"Kidding!" Tooru giggled, poking lightly at the crease on the raven's forehead as he continued walking backwards._

_Iwaizumi clenched his jaw and crossed his arms across his chest, embarrassed, "You're not funny, stupid."_

_Taking pity on his friend, Tooru turned around and began walking properly, swinging his arms in an exaggerated fashion._

_After a few more minutes, Tooru turned to look at the raven, "So where would you have gotten food for me?"_

_Iwaizumi glanced over at the prince and gestured off to the side, "There's a whole bunch of peach trees over there that are probably ok to eat."_

_"Peaches?!" Oikawa gasped and grabbed at Iwaizumi's arm, shaking it, "There were peaches this whole time?! Show me!"_

_Rolling his eyes, Iwaizumi led Tooru to the spot he'd seen the fruit trees. Clustered together like this, Iwaizumi thought at one point, this might have been someone's garden, but now, the peach trees were the only things that remained. They had grown wild in the absence of human touch._

_"Which ones are the best?" Tooru looked back at Iwaizumi, excited to eat the sweet fruit. It had been so long since he'd had a peach, Tooru was practically shaking with excitement._

_"The ones at the top are probably the best, but-," Iwaizumi didn't get to finish his sentence before Tooru dashed out in front and began scrambling up the branches of the tree._

_Iwaizumi sighed heavily and waited at the bottom for Tooru to start tossing down the fruit._

_After they had accumulated roughly twenty peaches, Iwaizumi begged Tooru to come down, saying they were never going to eat all these and the brunette was just wasting food._

_Pouting, Tooru began his descent, carefully picking his way down from the flimsy branches._

_A few feet from the ground, the branch Tooru had been using as a hand hold snapped, and the prince felt himself falling. Yelping and closing his eyes, the prince readied himself to slam clumsily and painfully into the dirt. Except, much too soon, Tooru felt himself being embraced by something much softer than the ground._

_Tooru squinted his eyes open and saw Iwaizumi's face just above his, smirking down at him with his 'I told you so' face on._

_"I was trying to tell you peach trees aren't that strong. You're lucky none of them broke when you were at the top," Iwaizumi grumbled, sitting the both of them under the tree, safe and unharmed._

_"Yeah," Tooru said quietly, his heart still hammering in his small chest, convinced he was plummeting to his death._

_Iwaizumi pushed a fuzzy, pinkish-orange peach into the brunette's hands and shoved the boy's head playfully to the side._

_"I thought you were scared of heights," Iwaizumi grinned, biting into the fruit he held for himself and looking at Tooru, "You never climbed that high before, that was pretty cool."_

_Tooru looked up to see Iwaizumi's green eyes alight on his brown ones, smiling and looking almost proud._

_Tooru sat up straighter, rubbing his fingers against the fuzzy skin of the peach. The brunette smiled back at Iwaizumi. He suddenly felt like there was nothing he couldn't climb, no horror he couldn't face as long as Iwaizumi would be there with him, looking at him like that._

_"Yeah it was, wasn't it?"_

_Iwaizumi laughed lightly and took another bite of the peach, not minding the sticky juice running through his fingers._

_Tooru looked at his own fruit in his hands and smiled softly down at it._

_It felt different when his father was proud of him. That pride was simply expected. It was his father being able to tell the other adults, 'Yes, my son would be an excellent heir to the throne, don't you think?'_

_The pride in Iwaizumi's eyes felt different. It called out to the prince's own pride, coaxing it out and inflating it. It made Tooru glow and the boy realized he rather liked this feeling of accomplishment. Because it was his. No one else climbed that tree but him._

_Tooru knew it wouldn't be the last time he would climb too high or fall to the ground. He knew there was more cuts and bruises to be had, and yet, as Tooru watched Iwaizumi take another bite of his peach, the prince felt nothing but excitement_

******

"You remember those peaches?" Oikawa asked, feeling a small smile tilt his lips.

Iwaizumi sighed at the memory, knowing exactly which ones Oikawa was talking about.

"You could've broken your neck back then."

Oikawa's smile widened and he chuckled, "Probably, but those peaches were so worth it."

Humming, Iwaizumi couldn't help but mirror the brunette's smile, "Yeah, I think you're right."

Oikawa bit his lip to keep himself from smiling like a complete idiot as he looked down at their entwined fingers. He watched as Iwaizumi carefully ran his hands over the bandages, discreetly checking them and making sure they were still good.

Something in Oikawa's chest knocked loose at the display and he found himself murmuring in the quiet room.

"Can I kiss you?"

Iwaizumi blinked in surprise at the soft question.

It was the first time he'd ever been asked so bluntly and it should've made him laugh at how ridiculous it sounded.

Iwaizumi ran his thumb up the side of Oikawa's finger and rolled the question around in his head.

It should have been funny, considering the fact that they had already made out in the forest, their hands had explored and bodies had been pressed together, leaving little to the imagination.

It should have been funny, since they had spent the last few days doing nothing but get closer to each other, the physical portion, being the next step.

It should have been funny, but Iwaizumi didn't feel like laughing.

It had been so very long since someone had thought to ask about him, that Iwaizumi's chest tightened at this smallest show of decency.

How many times had he wanted to stop himself and ask his partner if they were ok? But he didn't because he was afraid. He was scared and cowardly.

How many times had he wanted his partner to stop and ask him if he was ok? But they didn't and Iwaizumi had let himself grow numb and distant.

He wasn't numb now though, for better or worse, Oikawa had pushed him over that unconquerable hurtle. Iwaizumi was no longer distant, he was very much present and for the first time, he was able to find the name for one of the feelings Oikawa had given back to him.

Iwaizumi felt safe.

"Yes," Iwaizumi breathed, ignoring the burning behind his eyes as he reached for the back of Oikawa's head. His fingers slipped into the soft strands as they moved closer.

At the last millimeter of space, Iwaizumi felt the prince hesitate. The smallest resistance under his fingers, and Iwaizumi immediately dropped his hand to land lightly on Oikawa's shoulder.

"Are you sure?" Oikawa whispered, pulling slightly back to look into Iwaizumi's emerald eyes, knowing he'd find the truth in them.

"Yes," Iwaizumi repeated, feeling his breath bounce back against his lips, "Please."

Oikawa surged forward, eager and needing no further instruction. Surprised, yet again, Iwaizumi chuckled lightly into the kiss, feeling the lips against his tilt up into another smile.

Gods, if Iwaizumi thought just seeing Oikawa's real smiles was an experience, the feeling of that same smile against him was the stuff of dreams. The taste of that heartfelt expression was beyond description, like trying to describe the taste of the stars.

Iwaizumi tugged lightly on the prince's back and Oikawa slid himself impatiently closer, practically in the man's lap instead of on the bed. All it took was one firm pull of his hips and Oikawa felt himself slide onto the welcoming warmth of the raven's solid thighs.

Oikawa breathlessly huffed a laugh between waves of kisses and murmured, "I'm supposed to be taking it easy, Iwa-chan. You heard Maki."

Iwaizumi hummed, nipping lightly at the brunette's bottom lip in response, sending chills down Oikawa's arms.

Feeling emboldened by his well-received advances, Oikawa slid his arms around the raven's shoulders, taking care with his injured one. Threading his fingers through the short black hair, Oikawa planted his feet on the floor and rolled his hips tentatively against Iwaizumi's.

Groaning softly, Iwaizumi broke away, tilting his head back and speaking hesitantly to the ceiling.

"Tooru, I'm not-."

Oikawa froze, pulling himself back to look at the troubled expression on Iwaizumi's face.

"Oh, fuck," Oikawa whispered, leaning back and pulling his arms in tight against his chest to keep from touching Iwaizumi too much, "Iwa, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-."

Oikawa scrambled to get up, but was pulled back down firmly by the hands around his waist.

"No, no. Tooru, you're fine," Iwaizumi rushed to explain, feeling his cheeks flush lightly in mild embarrassment at the small misunderstanding.

Oikawa only relaxed slightly, holding his fingers out in front of him and playing with the bandages.

"What's wrong?" Oikawa asked quietly.

"Nothing's wrong," Iwaizumi shook his head, "I just feel like you should know, I wasn't-, I've never-."

The raven reached up to scratch the back of his neck, feeling the heat on his face intensify.

Gods, this was embarrassing.

Sighing and taking a deep breath to rip the band-aid off, Iwaizumi mumbled, "I've never been with a guy before."

Oikawa tilted his head slightly, letting his hands fall back down to rest on Iwaizumi's chest.

"That's..." Oikawa stalled, looking for the word, "surprising."

Iwaizumi groaned, rubbing his hand across his forehead and digging into his eyes. He'd meant to bring this up before now, but Oikawa had thrown him the biggest curveball of his life telling him about that memory.

"I'm not completely clueless," Iwaizumi said, feeling the need to defend himself a little bit, "I can't get Matsun to shut up about it, so I'm aware of the basics, but I just thought you should know, in case I do something wrong or it doesn't feel right."

Looking up at the ceiling, wishing it would cave in and save him from this discussion, Iwaizumi continued, mumbling, "And if you want, we can talk about the other way around. I'm not sure how you feel about that, but I guess we can talk about it. Not just yet, but eventually."

Iwaizumi was babbling, he could feel the words overflowing and it took a tremendous amount of self-control to get them to stop.

As soon as the torrent of words ceased, Oikawa suddenly draped himself across the raven's chest and squeezed him tight, burrowing his face into Iwaizumi's neck.

"Uh," Iwaizumi held out his hands to the side, unsure what to do before settling on simply embracing the other, "You ok?"

Oikawa didn't pull his face up from Iwaizumi's neck, instead just murmuring into it.

"How are you so fucking hot _and_ adorable at the same time?" Oikawa's voice came out muffled against Iwaizumi's skin.

The raven frowned over Oikawa's shoulder, "I don't think I'm an 'adorable' kind of person."

"Don't worry," Oikawa pulled back, giving Iwaizumi a wink and whispering conspiratorially, "I won't tell anyone."

Iwaizumi groaned and tilted his head to hang over the back of the chair, "Forget I said anything. Let's just go back to when you were the embarrassing one and I was the silent, judgmental one."

"Iwa-chan, so mean!" Oikawa cried out softly, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Iwaizumi's exposed throat, "I'd be happy to show you all the dirty little things I want you to do to me."

Iwaizumi's face twisted away, feeling his face heat again, except this time was for a whole different reason.

Oikawa giggled darkly, pulling the bottom of Iwaizumi's ear between his teeth and whispering, "And maybe one day, you'll let me show you the things I want to do to _you_."

An instinctual shiver ran up Iwaizumi's spine at Oikawa's darkened voice, his words tangible as his breath brushed against Iwaizumi's ear.

The raven turned his head to capture the prince's mouth with his own again, this time feeling confident enough to grip Oikawa's hips, still in his lap.

What started as slow, lazy meetings of lips and tongues, soon became soft demands for more. Iwaizumi felt the lean body on top of him writhe under his hands, trying to gain friction against both their groins.

Nipping at the prince's tongue, Iwaizumi dug his fingers deeper into the prince's hips, making them cease their movements.

Oikawa whined softly in Iwaizumi's mouth, pulling back to gasp, "Fuck Iwa-chan, you're killing me right now. All this stopping and starting is bad for my health. I might actually die."

"Such a dramatic little shit," Iwaizumi murmured, taking the opportunity to slide his tongue down the side of Oikawa's neck, not unlike the way he'd done a few nights ago. Only this time, he was free of most reservations and Oikawa felt the pleasant ache of the raven's teeth against his skin.

Oikawa huffed a laugh, needing a moment to think of a retort. He was being immensely distracted by the thought of Iwaizumi deliberately leaving his marks on the prince's pale skin.

"You're going to be so upset when you finally manage to kill me, Haj-," Oikawa broke off in an unintentional moan as Iwaizumi pushed the prince's hips further up his lap, putting pressure in just the right spot.

Feeling Iwaizumi smirk against his neck, Oikawa opened his mouth to say something about the raven being the death of him when his half-closed eyes caught movement from the curtain covered doorway.

Oikawa tensed and Iwaizumi, feeling the tightening of his muscles, looked up to see what was wrong. His gaze followed the brunette's and landed on Hanamaki and Matsukawa, standing frozen in the doorway.

"Gods-fucking-dammit," Hanamaki swore, yanking the curtain closed, cutting off Matsukawa's barely contained grin.

"That's two silver pieces, Maki," Oikawa and Iwaizumi heard Matsukawa say behind gleeful chuckles.

They heard Hanamaki swear again as he stomped down the hall, Matsukawa following and laughing the whole way.

Oikawa stared at the doorway for several more heartbeats before slowly looking down at Iwaizumi.

They both snorted their laughter at the same time, leaning in and resting their foreheads together.

"They're so fucking nosy," Iwaizumi groaned.

Oikawa nodded, still smiling, "No doubt."

The prince sighed and frowned at the closed curtain where Hanamaki had disappeared, "I don't know where Maki gets off betting against me, but I feel like I should be insulted."

Iwaizumi chuckled softly, running his hands soothingly up and down the brunette's thighs, still bracketing his own, "Somehow, I feel the same about Matsun."

Oikawa looked down and sighed again, "I guess we should go out there. Face the music and all that."

The prince moved to get up when Iwaizumi's hands tightened on his thighs, pushing him gently back down. Oikawa looked at him, mildly confused.

"Not yet," Iwaizumi said softly, lifting his hands to gently pull Oikawa's arms from his shoulders, turning his head slightly to place small, feather-light kisses along the inside of the prince's wrists.

Oikawa shivered. He'd had no idea Iwaizumi could be this affectionate. This person had pulled away from him so often, he rarely touched others without a purpose, and he never did anything unintentionally. To have that same person press his fingertips into Oikawa's waist like he wanted to shape them himself and cradle his wrists as if they were made of egg shells, all within a ten minute period was overwhelming.

It made Oikawa treasure the languid kisses more than any other. Instead of doing it out of reflex, Oikawa knew Iwaizumi did it because he genuinely wanted to. His touches meant more and because of that, they burned more too. They seared themselves into the prince's pale skin and blistered like he was touched by the sun. They licked his skin and danced the way only flames could.

And if anyone asked for Oikawa's last words, he'd smile and tell them to find him in the ashes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long notes, sorry (but am I really?)
> 
> I think I found Anyani's name by just googling forest spirits and I quite literally fell in love with it. Like, if I get another dog or maybe a cat, that's probably gonna be its name (pray for that poor animal). Its pronunciation (at least in my head) is anYAni with the emphasise on the 'ya'. Could I be wrong? Yes. But am I gonna change it? Nope.
> 
> Oh my god I missed the flashbacks so much. I finally get to pull this one out and y'all, I might have to come to terms with the fact that I am the softest jellybean I've ever met because damn, I've never heard of softer shit than this. Cottonelle ain't got nothing on me.
> 
> Just, God, when Oikawa said "Baubles shine Hajime, you gave me much more than trinkets," I had to take a minute because I made my own damn self tear up. Fuck that one hit me so hard and for no damn reason. All of it hit me hard, if I'm being honest.
> 
> This one was a really tough one to write for me because of the dubious consent thing and I just have a hard time wrapping my brain around it, honestly. I've really only got one experience to draw from for the emotional part, so I'm sorry if I didn't really do it justice. I think nothing really does the emotional damage justice, but I had to try.
> 
> Anyways... I only got one quote this chapter. Really, it was just something that inspired my imagination this time so it wasn't verbatim (mostly). It's a long one, so I'm sorry in advance.
> 
> "The sun inside of him  
> Rages like wildfire  
> And he is  
> Gold  
> Gold  
> Gold  
> And he is  
> Scorching the skin of my heart,  
> Yet he still pretends  
> That he is safe for me to love,  
> That his hands are gentle,  
> That his fingerprints won't be  
> Seared into the notches of my spine.
> 
> The sun inside of him  
> Could set the kingdom ablaze;  
> He knows this, he does.
> 
> And he still asks me to love him,  
> To face the flame.  
> Find me in the ashes."
> 
> -Emily Palermo, Apollo


End file.
